ex has a profile now....what do I do.

[darkpumpkin]

Ok so I've wrote on here lately about my recent ex. We just broke up on Sunday. We met through a site called plenty of fish. Well I just found his brand new profile on there. It's only been 2 days and he's already back on there. My two questions would be would it be ok if I posted my pic on there now? I had a profile from before I just didn't put a picture on and why would he do that? he says he's only looking for friends but he already sent on of his roses to someone (you get two free roses). help

[renaissancewoman101]

You guys are broken up. I don't see why it would be a problem to put up your profile and pic.

[darkpumpkin]

I guess I thought that maybe he would want me back and if I did that he would see I've moved on. But by the looks of it he has already moved on. He even lied in his profile saying he hadn't been on there before.

[astaro]

you are over analyzing and over thinking. i went on a dating site a week after my current brake up for no reason other then to get my self esteem up and remind myself that i can get girls if i only try. there could be a million reasons why he did it and i think your putting way to much stock into it.

 

now is the time for you to look after yourself.

 

Edit - bottom line is whatever reason he has for going on there isn't relevant. its his business. you are broken up now and you need to take care of yourself.

[darkpumpkin]

But he said he would see what happens in 3 weeks if he wanted to date again. i guess I didn't have a profile after because I wanted to see if it would work. So the fact that the 3 weeks isn't even up and he has profile for any reason should just tell me to move on? really tells me he's not going to choose trying again

[astaro]

you need to move on with your life, dont let his uncertinty drag you through the mud.

 

be strong and walk away, if he ever comes running back to you deal with it when it happens, dont spend your time with "what ifs". that will cause a great deal of stress and grief on your part.

[renaissancewoman101]

Put up your profile and still wait to see what happens after three weeks.

 

There is still hope.

[kellbell]

Hey there,

 

But didn't you tell him when he requested for the 3 week break that you did not want to go that route and to break up? So, it is in his mind that you two have officially have broken up.

 

But even so, the fact that he even requested a 3 week break, meanwhile posted his profile on a dating website not even a week goes by after the breakup. It should show you he was not into the relationship and was going to most likely jerk you around three weeks later. To me, this is a blessing in disguise. Actions speak louder than words.

 

Chin up and try to stay positive.

[darkpumpkin]

No I asked for a 3 week break Kellbell. And he said he would see what happens. But fact that it's only been two days from the break up and he's back on there I guess show's how interested he was in this relationship. I should have known better. I asked him 3 months ago if I left would he come after me....he said no. Is it true when a guy really wants you nothing will stand in his way?

[BetterKarma]

Unfortunately, through my own experiences, there's really no such thing as a "break." Breaks usually lead up to a break-up. It's best to just break it off and if you feel like giving it another go, then start a relationship again.

 

As for him putting up his profile so soon, don't dwell on it. You guys are "broken-up" for all intent and purposes. He's probably seeing what else is out there and if the grass is greener on the other side.

 

This is what you should do as well. Don't dwell on him and if he's going to want you back. Look pass your blinders and see the world out there. Maybe afterwards, you wouldn't even want him back even if he asked you.

[darkpumpkin]

This is just stupid. He makes me break up with him and then jumps on the damn computer (which he spends his whole life on anyway) to find someone new and it hasn't even been 2 days. I feel used and I guess I really shouldn't.

[Dako]

Measuring from your breakup to him posting overlooks the fact thay he gave up a long time ago.

It could be a month for him.

[kellbell]

"Is it true when a guy really wants you nothing will stand in his way?"

 

Absolutely true. Not just for guys but for anyone. He is not the one for you. Hang in there.

 

 

(((hugs)))

[CarnelianButterfly]

He makes me break up with him

How did he make you break up?

 

It sounds like you taking a break is a signal to him that he's on the rocks, you dumped him and he's moving on.

[darkpumpkin]

No I asked him if he wanted to break up. I said I wanted to work at this but he said there wasn't a point. I asked him why he didn't just do it when he felt this way. Why he waited for me to do it. He said "he didn't want to be the bad guy". I'm sorry but I had to defend that comment about I mentioned a break. I only mentioned it after the fact we had broken up. Yes I know he's moving on but it steams me that at 30 couldn't end it when it was supposed to end and he made me feel miserable until I did it.

[renaissancewoman101]

Some men are too cowardly and too much of a wuss to end things. They rather come out smelling like roses, so they act like a butthead to you until you get fed up and end things yourself.

 

Men need to grow a backbone. At least some of them.

[darkpumpkin]

bah I have to move on. He did. Not much fun choking on the dust of someone who ran to move on.

[Aleadragonhawk]

My advice is to ignore his profile and ignore the site altogether. If you're using the same dating site as he is, you're going to be tempted to watch him - and that's just masochistic. Putting up your profile as a way to show him that you're over him too is kind of pointless.

[darkpumpkin]

That's just it I'm not going to stop doing something or going somewhere because he is. I'm not trying to prove any point I don't think I should have to.

[boomvang]

What Karma said. If you say "I want some time away from you" that's French for "I'm tired of you." That's pretty much a one-strike-and-you're-out kind of deal.