NyGentleman Posted March 7, 2007 Share Posted March 7, 2007 This morning was somewhat tough but went to school and did a chest day at the gym (my fav workout lol )... felt pretty good...Anyway talking to a friend today I realized that im acting like this is the only girl out there right now, and this is def not the case. He made me think about whether or not i love this girl and if i would marry her, and since she is messed up to some degree with alot of things in her life why im stressing all this so bad ... After realizing this and coming to my senses somewhat i thought of an interesting way of handling things from here on in....First off NC is important for awhile longer so that i can fully recover and to give her alot more time to do whatever it is she is doing ...than i thought maybe i could drop her a note and here is what i would say, and lemme know if anyone things this would be a good or bad idea ...thanks... Her name goes here ... Im writing you this letter to reflect on things that have happened over the course of 2yrs with us and to tell you that over the past (x amount of time) I have been thinking about whether or not it is a good idea for us to walk away from eachother. With 2mos left of school the chance for us to fix whatever it is we have left is getting slimmer and slimmer. I too have been feeling very confused with feelings and emotions about what went down, maybe my feelings weren't as authentic as i thought they were and maybe bc we never gave anything a real shot is the reason why this confusion is coming out now ..I do not know...We have history together, something i know you believe in, and think is important, we have shared experiences, laughs, good times and bad times together and id like to think we know eachother better than anyone else out there. As for what we are feeling now, its hard to understand and figure out but what i do know is that when we use to kiss there was an unexplainable passion there that i get butterflies over just thinking about and when other things followed there was an intensity there that made the best in both of us come out. I remember when we would see eachother there was an automatic spark there everytime that was amazing, its what made us so close and comfortable with eachother and that was a good thing... (and how do i know there was a spark, well just to see your smile and shyness with me for the first 5 secs was enough for me to figure it out) ..With that being said i do believe we shared something special and do believe that there is some kind of emotion there between the 2 of us with this bond we had. Alot of the relationship we had towards the end was based on me giving my all to you, something i wasnt exactly happy about because i knew that wasnt the way it was suppose to be, i never understood why you weren't showing me your all and this made me frustrated and upset...I do not know what the future will hold for us, but i do know that something feels like its missing when we dont talk, or we dont hang out ...im not writing you this to patch things up, im writing you this to explain to you that i think it might be a big mistake to let whatever it is we have left to slip away ...i know you feel something inside about all this, so i ask you one last question in hopes this time you will be honest and straight forward to me, do you want to walk away from the history we shared together and never talk again, or do you want to start over and see what happens from there ...there is really no pressure on this bc if you dont reply ill have my answer and if you do than you do ...im trying to step it up one last time and see what happens, its hard to say that all this was a waste of time bc that is something i dont wanna believe...i know deep down you feel some things, and think about all the conflicting things we told eachother in emails prior to us not talking...Its def easier to think that nothing is there when we arent in eachothers presense but its another story when we see eachother and this is been the case the entire time we've known eachother...there is something there that makes us become who we are when we are together ...this is why its hard to walk away ... Something like this is what im thinking of sending her in some time from now... Quote Link to comment
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.