i found 6 girls names on his cell phone....

[SeaBisquit]

ok, i just got back with my boyfriend 3 weeks ago. this was our first weekend that we spent together since our breakup. we were sitting around watching television and goofing around. i got hold of his cell phone and said, just how many girls phone numbers do you have on here? i was joking and he said about eight. so i laughed and said allright i"m checking it out. he had like 6 girls name on his cell phone and i told him he had some explaining to do. he got mad and said he didn't have to explain anything and that he didn't care if i had 400 boyfriends.

 

i think he might be kinda playing a game with me because i broke up with him before to be with someone else. plus he is always checking up on me and he comes to my house late at night to see if i'm with somebody. we were separated for 3 months and i know he was seeing people while we were separated. i don't know if i should worry about the girls on his cell phone or not. because he seems really jealous that i had been with someone else and why did he say he doesn't care if i have 400 boyfriends?

[splashdown]

Maybe he is and maybe he isn't playing a game. But you broke up with him to be with someone else. What'd you expect? He was gonna sit around pining for you?

 

His saying he doesn't care about your boyfriends is called "saving face". Teenage boys care very much about such things (I'm assuming that you are either a teenager, or close to it). He probably does care very much about other boyfriends, but you dumped him and he isn't about to admit it, and that seems fair enough to me.

[CarnelianButterfly]

If my bf looked at my phone, he'd see about 20 guys, none of who I have dated. I keep them labeled in my phone because that's where you keep phone numbers.

 

Is he with them or is he with you? A number in a phone doesn't mean he's cheating and being apart 3 months would be more than enough time to pick up a few numbers even if they aren't used.

[southerngirl]

I think you should blow it off. He is right you know, he doesnt have to explain himself to you. You were broken up.

 

If your relationship is going to work, you need to start over and forget about whats past. Thats water under the bridge. He is with you right now and wants to be with you. Do you want to be with him? If you do, dont bother him about what he did while you were broken up.

[Honey Pumpkin]

Were they girls he's dated? I've got loads of guys on my phone, but that's just because they're friends. Don't know how it would look to a jealous boyfriend, but honestly, it doesnt' mean anything.

[SeaBisquit]

he got back together with you after you had been with someone else. you have more explaining to do than he does and that might just be his point. why did you leave him for the other guy?

[Dako]

I have 9 women on my cell.

If he's with you, that's what matters.

A phone number doesn't mean he's cheating.

[Ash]

Wow, the part that strikes me the most about this is that when you asked him, he was totally truthful, and for that you rewarded him with a search and a demand for an expanation. Having just been totally honest with you that he had eight girls on this phone I would have though the most logical thing to do was ask him if there was any reason you should be concerned about that? I think all you're doing is starting to create an environment in which he may start hiding things he may otherwise not need to because he doesn't want to get in trouble for something he likely hasn't even done.

 

You have to think very carefully about this type of thing. You left him for somebody else, you came back (apparently). If he did see anybody in that timeframe then it's also a very recent thing for him and there are bound to be some residual feelings left. If you dig hard enough you will more than likely find something you don't want to know about and will upset you. You need to consider that before you check up on things, give your relationship a few weeks or months to settle in again and then if you're still worried it may be worth having a chat. Right now it's too new. Give it a while, don't let his phone list bother you and work on being with him and rebuilding your relationship.

[AnonymousMG]

Cell phonebooks don't mean anything, I have tons of people in mine that I know from tons of places and I've never been unfaithful.

[SeaBisquit]

i asked him which girl he see's the most and he said no one in paticular.

[Semid]

Jayceeearia, why did you look in his phone? it is his phone, not yours. you are stepping over his intimacy, and we all need to have our own intimacy.

No wonder why he is disappointed.

 

If he is checking on you and coming to your house to see if your are alone, you should discuss this with him, but not do the same. This is insane....

 

Respect your boundaries and make him repect yours.

[SeaBisquit]

i didn't invade his privacy by looking at his phone. we were joking around. he told me he wanted me to put my ex's phone number on his contact list. so he could tell my ex that i'm with him now. so i was doing it as a joke and i just said how many girls do you have on here.

[Ash]

What would you have done if he'd said "None". I'm afraid you took it past a joke.

 

If you did not expect there to be any girls on his phone and were joking, then that too is a bit of a cruel joke.

[SeaBisquit]

i suspected that he had a few girls on there. and i feel i have the right to ask. i didn't searche through his phone without asking and i didn't give him a hard time about it. i just asked him who they were and if he was seeing any of them. i wanted to know what his intentions were.... and i din't want to get hurt if he serious about somebody else.

[Ash]

Ah, Okay. That's a little different. That's not quite the way your first post came accross somehow.

 

That sounds reasonable. I'm hoping that if it was (or you've since had) a good, calm discussion with it about that he's told you the truth. If so, I'd hope he'd be open and let you know that he's not after or with anybody else regardless of who might be in his phone.

 

I know there are many women stored in my phone, some of which are business associates and others I've known for various other reasons none of which are romantic.

 

If he got angry by the initial exhange I can understand him throwing out a comment about 400 boyfriends. I doubt he means that at all. Likely just a defense mechanism kicking in.

[SeaBisquit]

he is seeing 3 of the girls that are on his phone. he just said it nothing special. it's kinda casual. he called me yesterday and told me he has a new cell phone number... and i said jokingly," is this a secret cellphone so you can keep me separate from the other girls." ( yeah i'm jealous, i'm trying hard not to show it.)

[Ash]

Jaycearia ... is this really a relationship you want to try and pick up on again? Have you given serious thought to letting it go? I know it's not as easy as all that. But given what's happened and the fact that he does appear to at least having a slight interest elsewhere, just consider what will happen if things don't get back to how they were.

[Semid]

just how many girls phone numbers do you have on here? i was joking and he said about eight. so i laughed and said allright i"m checking it out. he had like 6 girls name on his cell phone and i told him he had some explaining to do. he got mad and said he didn't have to explain anything and that he didn't care if i had 400 boyfriends.

 

Jayceearia, I suppose that you are very young and you play and play, but let me tell you that there are some games that lead to misery.

You've made your search, find out what you did not like and told him to give you an explanation. Bad move, when you have recently come back with him after leaving him for someone else.

 

If you are not goint to like the answer, do not make the question.

 

Also he could have collect all these girls phone numbers while you were enjoing being single.

[splashdown]

Jaycearia ... is this really a relationship you want to try and pick up on again? Have you given serious thought to letting it go? I know it's not as easy as all that. But given what's happened and the fact that he does appear to at least having a slight interest elsewhere, just consider what will happen if things don't get back to how they were.

 

This is kind of what I was thinking actually. Neither party really sounds all that interested in the relationship (notwithstanding that we're only getting one side, naturally), just the games.

[addictedblue]

neither of you guys trust each other and that doesn't make for a very good relationship does it?

[jengh]

he is seeing 3 of the girls that are on his phone. he just said it nothing special. it's kinda casual. he called me yesterday and told me he has a new cell phone number... and i said jokingly," is this a secret cellphone so you can keep me separate from the other girls." ( yeah i'm jealous, i'm trying hard not to show it.)

 

seeing as in dating or seeing as in hanging out?

I agree with the others. It's his phone and i'll bet you have a few guys in your phone book, no? If someone were to look in mine, about half of the contacts are male, none of which I'm/have been intimate with.

 

I think you're looking too deeply into this. How old are you, out of curiosity?

[shadow34]

Yes Yes I have to agree with most of the others.

 

You cant go back into a relationship digging up the past. You have to start fresh...but it sounds like you just may be young, Im not sure of your age hun.

 

Why on earth would you let him text your ex to say hes with you now. Thats cruel and immature. Considering a lot of us are the "dumpees" I would of thought perhaps you would understand the pain caused by breaking up and to get your new boyfriend to message him, No way thats just rude, disrespectful and hurtful. Im sorry to sound harsh hun, but Im sure Im not the only one who would have that opinion.

 

As for the relationship, you really have to stop this jealousy. I know its really hard and you may feel its warranted but it will be the demise of the relationship if it continues, and that goes for both of you.

 

It would suggest to me that your inadvertantly playing games with your boyfriend. Perhaps your doing this out of fear. Maybe you are too scared to come out and say " look where do I stand and what are your intentions" and perhaps that could be the reason for these " jokes" as you would call them.

 

Let us not forget that you cheated on him before, perhaps he is just playing it cool when in reality he is scared the same will happen again. Its worth considering.

 

Sweety Im not meaning to sound harsh but I just feel it had to be said and its my honest take on things. I suggest sitting your boyfriend down and talking about whatever issues you still both have. Rememeber why you broke up in the first place ( not including your mistake ) and try and look at those things that broke down the relationship so you can both move on in a productive way.

 

BUT..IF you two cannot talk about things, If there is no communication then my friend you can kiss the relationship goodbye. You have to put your pride and ego aside when it comes to being honest with each other.

 

Let us know how you go and remember we are here for you

 

Hugs