Confused and Heartbroken

[Dontwantadivorce]

In the past year my husband has become very depressed. I talked him into seeing a doc and he is now on medication. This is a good thing, now here is the problem. He thinks our life in the bedroom is boring and he would like to explore some new options. I am ok with this to a certain point, but what he is asking of me is not ok. During a conversation with some new "friends" we met, I made my intentions clear and he got extremely upset with me and has now told me that he is done trying to fix our marriage and threw his wedding ring at me and telling me he wants out. He has complained in the past of our sex life being boring, but I never dreamed it would come to this. Please help. I don't want to lose him, but I cannot and will not do anything that I am morally opposed to.

[coollady1957]

Not to pry to deeply here, but I wanted to ask if you feel comfortable offering any other info or details about your situation.

 

I agree that exploring new avenues in the bedroom is not a bad thing . However, if there is something you are not comfortable with, then I would hope that he would be understanding enough for it not to be a major issue.

 

Does his depression now seem to be under control at all? Is there anything else in the marriage besides the bedroom issue that he is having difficulty with?

 

I can't see someone being through with a marriage just because you do not agree to certain sexual activity. And I wondered why there was a discussion of your sex life with the new " friends". By chance does his desire to explore other sex options, have anything to do with the new " friends" ? Just trying to get a bit more info from you if you are comfortable discussing it further.

 

Have you been through any type of marriage and relationship counseling?

[Dako]

So I take it he wants group sex.

 

You shouldn't have to go there if it offends you.

How long have you been married?

Have you considered seeing a counselor?

 

There are plenty of things to do in the bedroom if you love each other.

Is that an issue?

[Dontwantadivorce]

We have been married for 8 years together for 10.

 

His depression is somewhat under control but some of his other issues are anger.

 

He had expressed interest in swinging but not full swapping. I have no intentions of having sex with another man ever, and he has stated that he feels the same way. I see things very black and white. I have a problem with thinking outside the box. He sees groups of people where I see 2 couples. Does this make sense?? So yes the "friends" are involved.

 

I think our marriage is pretty solid other than the bedroom issue. Everyone has ups and downs. We have had a couple of rough years and it has taken its toll on all of us.

 

He has had a depression problem for quite a long time. I just dealt with it for a really long time and I finally talked him into going to the doctor. This whole other issue is out of the blue. Maybe I should just give up and let him go.

 

Also I have suggested counseling until i'm blue in the face!!

[ghost69]

don't do anything you don't want to. i really don't understand what swinging without actually doing anything means. you either do it or you don't. try just taping the two of you. i dunno here.

 

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[Dontwantadivorce]

Thanks for the responses. I guess I knew what I had to do before I even posted here. Guess I just needed to get it off my chest. I would be too embarrased about it to talk to anyone I really know. No offense. I just find the whole idea of group sex or whatever he is looking at doing repulsive and if that makes me a prude than so be it. Again thanks for letting me vent.

[ghost69]

you knew deep down but you just didn't want to admit to yourself what had to be done. reassurance is always good from others.

 

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