I have a problem or what?

[maryale]

Hi, yesturday was my first time with my boyfriend. I've done it before but it was the first time with my actual boyfriend. Anyway, we lasted like for 1 hour. I mean, I think I have a problem or what? I mean, I do get horny and turned on, but I've never felt an orgasm. For example, we lasted 1 hour in which he almost cummed 2 times but he controlled himself, because he wanted me to have an orgasm, too, but after one hour we were both really tired and he cummed, but I wasn't even close to.

This had happen to me before with my exboyfriend, he used to cum really fast and I never felt an orgasm. I thought it was because of him, but I think it's my problem.

 

After doing that, I felt satisfied but disappointed. I guess he expected more from me?

We tried him on top of me, and he controlled himself for 2 times. He told me he wanted me to feel an orgasm, and to enjoy it, because he knows I've never felt one. So, he waited until I felt something, but I didn't. So, I told him that I could be on top for a while to see what happens. We changed position and I was on top, and instead he cummed, really fast.

When we finished, I felt satisfied because I prefer giving than receiving and knowing that he cummed once and controlled himself 2 times, made me feel happy and satisfied. He insted felt bad, he told me he wanted me to feel something. He told me he liked it but that he failed his mission of making me have an orgasm. Is that really bad for a guy?

I feel really bad. I know I shouldn't because it's not my fault, or is it? Neither his fault. I enjoyed every second of it. Maybe it's because he likes giving than recieving, too?

[shikashika]

sometimes it take a lot of work for a woman to orgasm.. you do not have a problem.. some people can have an orgasm a lot easier than others

[Kalika]

A lot of women can't have orgasms from sex, no matter what position they try. Most women need direct stimulation of their clitoris in order to have orgasm, and sometimes they can't get this during sex (even if they're on top).

 

Personally, I've never ever had an orgasm with a guy. In fact, the first orgasm I ever experienced was last year (and I've been sexually active for nearly a decade!) I bought a vibrator, and let's just say, it really, really works well. Before this, I thought I would never get to experience one.

 

You may be able to have an orgasm without one; try oral sex, and tell him what works for you. If you have an orgasm, you'll know it. It feels almost like fireworks that spread out to your whole body.

[shikashika]

A lot of women can't have orgasms from sex, no matter what position they try. Most women need direct stimulation of their clitoris in order to have orgasm, and sometimes they can't get this during sex (even if they're on top).

 

Personally, I've never ever had an orgasm with a guy. In fact, the first orgasm I ever experienced was last year (and I've been sexually active for nearly a decade!) I bought a vibrator, and let's just say, it really, really works well. Before this, I thought I would never get to experience one.

 

You may be able to have an orgasm without one; try oral sex, and tell him what works for you. If you have an orgasm, you'll know it. It feels almost like fireworks that spread out to your whole body.

 

I agree I get much better orgasms with my toys than with a guy.. even if he is really really trying

[anggrace]

You shouldn't feel bad at all! It is very common to not be able to orgasm with penetration alone, especially if sex is new for you. Try using your hand at the same time. Has he done oral? You guys will just have to try different things.

[anggrace]

I agree I get much better orgasms with my toys than with a guy.. even if he is really really trying

 

Sorry, this is a little off topic- but have you seen the movie, "The Oh in Ohio"? Its about a woman who can only orgasm from her toys. (no, its not a porn) But its REALLY funny!

[Honey Pumpkin]

I think you'd have more fun (and take the pressure off!) if you have a lot of foreplay, and you climax through hand/oral stimulation. Then he would be less pressurised, you would be less uptight, and you might actually enjoy having penetrative sex without worrying about the mysterious orgasm (and once youstop looking for it, you know what they say!)

 

According to one sex site, although females vary, many women need the following if they're going to reach a climax:

• a romantic atmosphere
  
• pleasant, comfortable surroundings
  
• a partner who they really like
  
• a feeling of being wanted and appreciated
  
• a good flow of natural lubrication - so that the delicate female parts don't get sore
  
• a skilled partner who knows how to stimulate the clitoris.
  

 

Go gently, have fun, stop fretting, explore each other's body - the key to your climax is going to be your clitoris, rather than penetrative sex.

 

Have fun practising!

[Zaphod]

Question for you toy women - do you find that after acheiving orgasm for your first time with use of a toy, then after tht do you find it easier to orgasm with a man?

[Zaphod]

The best thing you can do IMHO is try different things out, and let him know which things feel the best - try ordering him abotu a bit - men like that! (Well I do anyway).

To have a woman shouting out demands is IMHO a real turn on for a man, also you can gradually gear things towards what you think might work for you.

 

In other words, open communication is what I'm talking about .

[isisastaria]

I have one word You should be ready for him to penetrate. It's not all his call or you might not get anything out of it.

 

and a second word: "Clitoral stimulation!" Some women can't orgasm if they don't have this every time. Do it yourself if you need to.

[petey1343608]

I agree with foreplay....but there are other things like tantric which really works well. If u wanna know more, ask