Is online dating just a lot of sex hook ups???

[i1dr]

So ... the "hey baby .. ya wanna F*ck" pickup line ... that some men actually believe will work ... is still going strong in another form online, eh?

 

The more things change ... the more they seem to be the same.

 

Somehow I hope that there are more women like Batya33 with the same approach.

[Beec]

email once or twice, have a brief phone call and meet in person in a public place during the day.

 

I think it's ok to meet someone at night, provided it's in a public place. I did meet women and take them out to dinner. However, Batya33 is otherwise on for men or women. A couple emails, a telephone conversation and meet. I skipped the telephone with a few women, when they wanted to do so. If they are not serious about meeting, you are wasting your time.

 

I'd also say that a woman talking too soon about future plans and setting out where we would be at anytime in the future had me running. It's great if you see us together, but don't start talking about planning anything in the future.

[i1dr]

yeah, Beec is right. Talk of picking out the baby's name and how much auntie mildred would like to meet you along with the rest of the family may send the average male running out the window. Best save that for the third date!

[Beec]

yeah, Beec is right. Talk of picking out the baby's name and how much auntie mildred would like to meet you along with the rest of the family may send the average male running out the window. Best save that for the third date!

 

Even on a third date, it might still have made me feel a little uneasy.

[Batya33]

I think it's ok to meet someone at night, provided it's in a public place. I did meet women and take them out to dinner. However, Batya33 is otherwise on for men or women. A couple emails, a telephone conversation and meet. I skipped the telephone with a few women, when they wanted to do so. If they are not serious about meeting, you are wasting your time.

 

I'd also say that a woman talking too soon about future plans and setting out where we would be at anytime in the future had me running. It's great if you see us together, but don't start talking about planning anything in the future.

 

I should correct what I said - I met many of the men in the evening in a public place. But, when I advise others who are nervous or very young, I say it is probably better to meet during the day if possible just for safety issues. There was one man who cancelled our first meeting because I was only available to meet during the day for the next several weeks - he said it wouldn't be a romantic enough setting. Okkkkkk.

 

Based on the significant percentage of men who were lovely on e-mail and duds/jerky on the phone I never met anyone without first having a short phone call.

[applepie]

I think it can be for sex hookups, but there are plenty of people who have found their long term significant others on dating websites, including some of the people on ENA.

 

I feel it's important to talk about your dating goals with that person BEFORE you go on a date with them. If they know you are looking for a LTR, they will most likely not go on a date with you if they are looking for a hook up. It's all well and good to have the same hobbies and interests, but if your goals don't match up, it's never going to work.

 

I would also prefer to talk to the person rather extensively online before I commit myself to meeting them in peron. It allows get the jist of who they are. If they brush you off and don't want to talk, then you know it won't work. In my experience, you can tell by the way they approach you and the type of responses they present what they are really after.

[hosswhispra]

You know what made me laugh all the time about the online dating thing?

 

It was that I had conservative photos/profile and I had all these 'funny' emails from men that would give me their phone# right off the bat and would write to call them if I did not want to be lonely for the night. Funny stuff like that would happen a lot to me and I am so OPPOSITE.

[Batya33]

If a person wants to talk extensively on line I assume they just want an email penpal/are not serious about meeting/have a spouse/girlfriend. I can get a very clear sense of whether it is worth it to meet for 45 minutes in person based on one email and one 10-15 minute phone call. My "trick" was to keep the conversation lighthearted as far as topics - music, movies, travel - and listen very closely to his tone, attitude, how articulate he was, if he asked questions about me- the lighthearted topics got their guard down a little and helped me see true colors more. It also showed me if we could carry on a conversation which was all I needed to justify meeting for 45 minutes. That's assuming the profile and e-mail were in line with what I was looking for.

 

In the first 5 minutes of talking to various men I learned the following:

 

one guy just wanted to read aloud from my profile

one kept interrupting me to order his coffee and donuts

one told me his favorite s_x scene on a tv show

one yelled "who gave you this number????" (he did)

one told me his sister in law was a witch with a B

one talked to his hamsters - baby talk - while talking to me

one told me he was married for a green card

one told me when I said that men sometimes are not honest about their age "what age did I put?"

one bragged about his ex-wife's family, I knew of the family, googled her while we were on line to discover that he was lying about his age (because he also bragged that he was 5 years younger than she).

 

 

And, many others - had a depressive tone, a negative tone, etc that could never have come accross on e-mail

 

And, no I didn't meet any of those guys in person.

[i1dr]

If I had gone through what you've learned Batya33 ... I'd have come to the conclusion that it aint worth it.

[applepie]

Well..maybe that's why you found it so difficult to find someone. I wouldn't want to meet someone in person before I sussed them out first.

[hosswhispra]

Bayta33 you should write a book Some of these are hilarious...especially the guy talking baby talk to his hamsters

[quietgrl]

I alway say there is 3 types of people you'll meet online.

 

1. People who just want emotional online support only

2. people who just want sex and no relationship.

3. people who really want to find someone and have a Long term relationship.

 

I've never met a number 3 online but I seen number 1 and 2 all the time .

[ScreenagerX]

"In person" the traditional way...i.e., the 'best way'...at least in my opinion.

 

Have to agree

[Beec]

I'd say there are more than three, and I know the net is full of liars.

 

The ones who wants to attract as many responses as possible just to feel wanted, but when it comes to a date stands you up;

The one who will seem very interested, then never agree to meet you;

The one who seems nice, and then assumes she is staying at your place when you've just met;

The one who says she does not do drugs but has a cocaine habit (Ever have your date set up and take you to buy without telling you? I have.);

etc., etc., etc.

 

 

The most common one I encountered with women was their descriptions of their bodies.

[hosswhispra]

^ Beec, you could also write a book.

 

The most common white lie I encountered with men was their description of how tall they were. Oh and really old pictures posted on their profiles--they always look different in person. When I was online, I put pictures that were no more than 3 months old--I figured why deceive someone. I would rather have them know what I look like than be really surprised like I have been a couple of times.

[Batya33]

Well..maybe that's why you found it so difficult to find someone. I wouldn't want to meet someone in person before I sussed them out first.

 

I did not find it difficult to find someone - I just didn't find a long term relationship through dating on line - it wasn't "difficult" it's what is to be expected - finding the right person for many can be needle in a haystack - kiss a lot of frogs, etc.

 

My take on it is - I would never have gone on that volume of dates other than meeting men through on line - percentage-wise I ended up meeting a high enough percentage of quality men, even if we didn't "click" and I avoided meeting many men who wouldn't have been right for me - or might have been jerky - by a 5 minute screening phone call.

[annie24]

I alway say there is 3 types of people you'll meet online.

 

1. People who just want emotional online support only

2. people who just want sex and no relationship.

3. people who really want to find someone and have a Long term relationship.

 

I've never met a number 3 online but I seen number 1 and 2 all the time .

 

I have to say that i have met a lot of quality men online who are looking for a relationship. They are out there, and if you screen properly and your write your profile right, you can meet them. However, doesn't mean that you will "click" with them, or them with you. I've met some great guys online, but often times, there was a lack of interest on one or both our parts.

[i1dr]

Hossewhispra ... I find that hard to believe! Take for instance myself ... I'm nine foot eleven .... and why would anyone lie and tell you that they are taller than me? Next you will be telling us they also lie about their shoe size?

[Luke Skywalker]

Online dating is about meeting people and then you take it from there where two consenting adults are going to go.

 

Now, when you say sex hook-ups, in my view, it means that there is a clear intent of sex communicated BEFORE meeting a person rather than GAMING a person AFTER meeting them towards sex.

 

I've tried adultfriendfinder and lavalife for the purpose of hook-ups on November, 2006 last year, and communicated the intent to have sex on the first date. Usually the idea is you'd meet at a place for drinks, or some other venue, and then go off and have sex somewhere, in a car, public washroom, under a restaurant table, inside a photo shoot booth, etc....

 

So, that form of 'rogue' online activity is blatant hookups if you go on those type of sites.

 

Other times I've tried dating sites, where I'm in line with my own values, then I just meet people and try my luck to see where it goes. As of late I was meeting people with the maximum goal in mind to kiss them on their lips on the first date, and have experienced some degree of success doing so - or what I'd call the Lite-version of hookups. In that sense, I've had a few kisses on the lips on the first date on a normal site.

 

Generally, I think if you dont end up getting friendzoned, or a date falls apart badly, and there is enough chemistry, there is always a potential for sex, but I dont think that's a hook-up though, unless there is a clear communication of intent. I've cancelled hook-up dates because I chickened out of it - that's right, I'm a chicken...but I dont mind being an std-free chicken.

[longhaircats]

I have a guy friend who was looking for a relationship and tried link removed, met 3-4 women, and two of them asked him if he wanted to go back to her place and have sex on the first date. He rejected and they got upset. So he decided to stick with traditional ways of meeting people. I myself tried online dating for a short period of time, but I stopped because I got scared by some psycho guys.

 

So I think people who are looking for a relationship are easily discouraged by the other type of people and some decide to leave.

[quietgrl]

I have to say that i have met a lot of quality men online who are looking for a relationship. They are out there, and if you screen properly and your write your profile right, you can meet them. However, doesn't mean that you will "click" with them, or them with you. I've met some great guys online, but often times, there was a lack of interest on one or both our parts.

 

I can't find men number 3 online.I'm trying but men number 1 and 2 are in my way.

[Batya33]

I have a guy friend who was looking for a relationship and tried link removed, met 3-4 women, and two of them asked him if he wanted to go back to her place and have sex on the first date. He rejected and they got upset. So he decided to stick with traditional ways of meeting people. I myself tried online dating for a short period of time, but I stopped because I got scared by some psycho guys.

 

So I think people who are looking for a relationship are easily discouraged by the other type of people and some decide to leave.

 

 

That might be true; among my friends the ones who really wanted a relationship stuck with it (and many found it).