He Won't Go Down On Me - Need Advice

[maasikus]

After reading ur post, I had a couple of questions.

 

1) Has he never performed oral sex on any woman before? If that is true, then maybe he is put off by it, or has some other psychological reasons?

 

2) But if he has performed oral sex in his past relationships, but is not willing to do it to you, then maybe he has a reason, and is not wanting to share it with you? COuld be coz he would be embarrassed or he fears that his reason would embarrass you?

 

Either way, its childish that he avoids discussing the topic with you...even after you asked him repeatedly....and to talk about it to his other female friends is very inconsiderate..especially since you have no clue on whats going on...and its way too personal information...

[cantexplain]

 

No one should be pressured in any way to do something sexual with which they are not comfortable. You are OK with giving him oral sex and that's fine but he has a problem reciprocating.

 

 

Excellent point about no one should be pressured. There may be a deeper reason for this. Saying that it is because he doesn't trust you after you've been tested is mean - but maybe there is someway to nurture him differently to get through this.

 

Somewhere in this process demanding respect for the woman here is important. She should nip this trust issue, and explore for other reasons, if she feels this is the way to go.

 

She should not put up with the UNFOUNDED LACK OF TRUST.

[summergirl77]

I asked him if he has performed oral sex on past girlfriends and he said yes.

[cantexplain]

I asked him if he has performed oral sex on past girlfriends and he said yes.

 

hmmm, if true and he won't perform the same for you, that's an insult. no oral sex for him, I'd say!

 

if not true, then he is lying and robbing you of your dignity by telling you that you can't be trusted. again, no oral sex for him, I'd say!

[Aurian]

People are allowed to have their likes and dislikes about sex, I am more bothered by his behaviour.

 

 

 

I've highlighted some things in blue above.

 

First, he's demanding. Second, he does not want to communicate with you about any issues without coming up with dumb excuses to delay you. Third, he sounds controlling if he's jealous of your guy friends, while he's having personal conversations with a female friend. Fourth, he's avoiding you rather than talk to you.

 

I'm sorry, I get the feeling there is a bigger issue than just oral. He doesn't trust you or is open to you, and he sounds controlling and immature. Communication is very important and relationships should be salvaged if possible, but the guy lies, delays and avoids rather than talk about things...

[MacGyverRI]

I told him Sunday that if he didn't ever want to go down on me then I would never give him a blowjob again and he said that we'd be over with if I did that.

 

 

Show him the way to the door......

 

He's all for himself, it will get worse, much worse.

[anggrace]

First and foremost, make sure that you're appealing to his desires. If you've ever seen any of the adult material he's into, could you mimic that? I would try to get inside of his head and ask myself, "how can I make him want to do this?"

 

First and foremost- he should have a little more considerationn for YOU! This has nothing to do with you being "better" at what you do, but it has to do with him making an effort to do anything. I would make one last attempt to talk about it. If he still shows no desire to pleasuring you or working out whatever is causing him to not want to go down on you I think its a good sign of whats to come if you stay with him.

[summergirl77]

We're supposed to talk about things on Friday. I told him last night that he needs to address certain issues with me and not avoid them. He didn't say much. I don't want to come off threatening to him but he needs to understand that I am not willing to put up with this and that if doesn't communicate with me then he and I should not be together. We'll see how Friday goes. Thank you everyone for your input!!!