Limited options?

[Kevin T]

Has anyone else felt like their options of who to date are somewhat limited? I do.

 

There's a multitude of reasons why I feel this way, what about you?

 

With me, I'm not going to rant, but I sometimes feel like there are only a very small handful of girls I'd actually want to go out with.

 

And I'm concerned that once I leave school, that number will only diminish further. I can't honestly see how it would increase and frankly, that scares me. That's not good. Plus, even if I met someone where everything was "go" on my part, she'd have to like and be attracted to me, as well. And even if I did actually hit it off with a girl at school, chances are, she'd end up living on residence (which is fine) except for the part about her going home on the holidays and during the summer. I'm not doing the long distance relationship thing again, so I don't see how that could even work.

 

Finding someone I like where things could work has some fairly steep odds, I suppose. I'm not complaining, it's not as though I'm looking for a solution, just expressing my thoughts at the moment and wondering if anyone else feels like this? I doubt I am the only one who feels like this.

[anggrace]

What do you mean by small handfull? Lets say out of 50 girls how many do you think might have a chance?

[Kevin T]

What do you mean by small handfull? Lets say out of 50 girls how many do you think might have a chance?

 

That's honestly not a question I can answer right off the bat, because there are so many things I look for in a mate (not just looks). Are you asking just based on how they LOOK? I could probably answer that, I suppose.

 

[edit] I can do you one better, if you like, and count - in my head, of course - how many girls out of fifty I'd consider dating, in my class this afternoon. Then post the results. [/edit]

 

I'm curious, myself, to see what I'll find! I'm guessing somewhere in the thirties, I suppose. (Just a guess...)

[anggrace]

Okay, in the thirties on looks alone is pretty good. I was just curious if you were "too" picky...if there is such a thing. I do agree that after your done with school there most likely wont be as much opportunity, but it also depends on what kind of work you do, if your part of nay groups,ect. Youll just have to apply yourself a little more.

I personally have had a hard time. Im not single, but when I was, I had to be more assertive to get a date. I did the match thing and even then, ugh! Pretty humorous some of those adds. What are people thinking?

[Kevin T]

Okay, in the thirties on looks alone is pretty good. I was just curious if you were "too" picky...if there is such a thing. I do agree that after your done with school there most likely wont be as much opportunity, but it also depends on what kind of work you do, if your part of nay groups,ect. Youll just have to apply yourself a little more.

I personally have had a hard time. Im not single, but when I was, I had to be more assertive to get a date. I did the match thing and even then, ugh! Pretty humorous some of those adds. What are people thinking?

 

Well, I am picky, in that I know what I like and what I don't, and I don't want to settle (probably why I'm still single). But I tend to be attracted to the majority of (though not ALL, of course lol) girls I encounter in my day at school. There are exceptions to all things.

 

Yeah, it can be downright tough. I've done the net dating before too (twice, in fact) and I'm NOT doing that again! Neither time worked out well. I think face to face interaction is far superior to net dating. But that's just me.

 

I'll post the results. I sit at the back, so it shouldn't be hard to count. I'll just count the first 50 who come in, out of the class of 300 or so. Shouldn't be so hard. I'm estimating it'll be between 32 - 35. I wonder if I'm right? lol

 

But remember, that's just on the basis of appearance; not counting personality, beliefs, faith, whether or not she is single, or whether or not she would date me. Plus where she lives factors in, so whatever number I get, will be a lot higher than the ACTUAL number of potential dates, from that sample (science term lol).

[rusty_boi]

There is a relatively simple solution to your problem... go out more to places where there is alot of people. The more you go out the more chances you have of meeting a girl that meets ure criteria. Finishing school shouldnt have to much to do with it because all it means is you find another "main" place to meet girls. Another point that may help is maybe lower ure standards a little but to something that is a bit easier to find e.g. If a girl isnt funny you may think she isnt right for you, try look past that and see wat u do like about the girl. If the positive outweighs the negative then maybe go on a date and see how things go, thats the beauty of dates there like trial runs for a relationship.

[Day_Walker]

When you feel that your options are limited then you need to expand them. Increase the likelyhood of meeting a potential partner, put yourself out there more. Be friendly with girls that you meet in the course of your normal day activities. This will build up your options and will increase your dating pool. Dating is a numbers game and you are going to have to increase the odds of you finding what you are looking for by getting to know more women.

[Kevin T]

My standards are high, but certainly not unattainable. No need to alter them.

 

I think 30 or 35 was way off. I think it's more like, no more than 20/50, tops. Even that may have been a high number. I don't think I was thinking straight this morning.

 

So no one else here feels that their options are even slightly limited? You have more than enough women/men to choose from, huh? You guys are very lucky!

[Caterina]

I've felt the same way before. And I hate to break it to you, but it only gets worse after being in a university because the number of people of the opposite sex your age within close vicinity goes down significantly. But I guess its kind of like trying to predict the economy. Sure, the numbers go down but then again, the probability of meeting someone who is compatible might go up because their interests are similar if they're in the same workfield you are.

 

I felt the same way. When I was at the university I was only attracted to maybe one guy. But when that happens, you tend to adapt. I adjusted my tastes a little and am now willing to date a larger range simply because what I want is too difficult to find.

[g1234567890h]

Wait just one second...who says you ever have to leave school? I'm going for my PhD which is going to take about eight years. If I'm not with my current girlfriend, I have never had a problem with girls finding me. You can always take classes at community college. I found my girlfriend at community college.

[Caterina]

Wait just one second...who says you ever have to leave school? I'm going for my PhD which is going to take about eight years. If I'm not with my current girlfriend, I have never had a problem with girls finding me. You can always take classes at community college. I found my girlfriend at community college.

 

Not everyone wants to waste the time, energy and money it takes to earn a Phd when you could be out in the workforce.

[Leonhart]

Out of sheer boredom and curiosity, I decided to give my little experiment a shot after all. Did it the other day.

 

Counted exactly 50 girls walk by in about an hour. Here are the results, which surprised me greatly:

 

No. of girls I was not attracted = 25

 

No. of girls I was attracted to = 25

 

It was even, 50/50. I didn't think it'd be that high.

 

but it does me little good anyway, since just because I fancied them, does NOT mean that they would fancy me. Most likely, many of them (if not all) would not.

[ghost69]

part of dating is getting to know if it is worth the time.