Asian American men in American Society

[shy2cool]

Am I geeky? I wear glasses and am studying a Masters degree in Accounting...

[ten]

this thread is pretty interesting. i read every single post. lots of great viewpoints too.

 

so one look at my avatar and you get half the story. sadly she broke up with me 4 days ago... that's a whole other thread haha... =/

 

I grew up overseas but in an international boarding school.

middle and high school I did in suburban Virginia where it was 90 percent white, and like .2 Asian. The town even petitioned to remove the Taco Bell because it was attracting "unwanted" people in the town. In fact the town use to be a city but the town didn't like minorities so they sliced a new town into 2 square miles where only the well to do white folks could live.

 

I don't find my self attracted to Asian women at all. one Asian chick has been throwing herself at me for like 3-4 years and even dated a good friend of mine trying to get closer to me. that finally ended once i started my relationship with my new girlfriend (now ex).

Why you ask... the real answer will offend people so my secondary reason is that my sister is a total b**** so I have that image stuck in my head.

 

I've never found myself attracted to black, Latino (rare exception where she is like more white than Latino), or other alien races. And I don't find that black or latino girls even look at me as if it's an option... So no push from either side.

 

I will admit I have always had a preference towards petite "white" girls, and freckles are a huge huge plus (my ex fits all of the above). But I'm sincere in saying that the personality has to be there too. I didn't ask my ex out until knowing her on and off for like a year. My ex claimed she had a tenth Filipino in her but I always tease her about it... haha she was white as rice and had the cutest freckles, naturally red hair, grew up in the country and everything.

 

So yes, I feel like a minority and people do look at us sometimes. I say get use to it! Yes, there is a lot of pressure on me to marry into my culture since I'm the only son and my father is no longer living... That's still an issue I'm struggling with since I have nothing but respect for my mom.

For all the other asian males out there. Yes I was extremely shy, probably just like you! This is holding you back, breathe a little. Relax, open yourself up, be friendly and your chances of going out with ANYONE will increase drastically.

 

Stereotypes

They are still very much alive! Half of them are true, and half of them no longer hold. So just be yourself. This is my hypocritical life's story -

I don't like to admit it, but I've lived my life avoiding ALL stereotypes possible.

I don't drive a damn blinged out honda, I drive a crappy Ford =O

I will never be caught listening tno techno, if I'm listenig to music in the car and the song has fast beat that makes other people around me think I'm listening to techno.. I will cut that song. I listen to heavy metal... I'll be the only asian kid at a metal show. (some girl at a show one time actually said to me "you look like that asian kid from that SAT movie the Score". I look nothing like that guy...

Yes. I do martial arts but not karate, tkd or the oriental martial arts. I practice African Capoera and French Parkour. And not with much dedication either.

Videogames. People just get bleeping shocked when I'm just like... I don't play video games... I just steered away from the asian nerd stereotype

I'm not smart! I'm average. Not because of genetics. In high school I hurt myself by not trying at all. I didn't want people to think I was super smart. I remember my math teacher getting so fed up with me that she pulled me out of class cause I knew the answer but would say "I don't know."

Computers. I know a * * * * ton about computers but if you ever asked me about computers or about a cool new electronic gadget.. I would just give you the 'I don't know what the hell you're talking about' look. I still do that actually.

My college math placement score was 65 and my English placement score was 99, no lie!

For gods sake I even avoid asian food in public, as good as it tastes.

So I don't know what I'm trying to prove here.. but this is definitely something I'm sure a lot of people who struggle with stereotypes go through, asians in this case. I'm sure a more analytical person could give some insight here. I'll just have you know that I am happy with all my lifestyle choices.

 

While we are still sorta talking about empowerment:

I hate everything about rap culture, the reason being is that I believe asian males/white males are easily impressionable. They see this main stream culture and feel like need be a part. Unfortunately my 2 cousins who moved to cali 4 years ago are all about wearing clothes that don't fit them and listening to gangster rap even though they live in like the richest part of Cali. Be yourself, as hypocritical as that sounds.

 

This next thing is the thing I hate most, regardless of any topic.. This one tops them all. Asians who only hang out with Asians in their damn groups! Please... you need to stop this.. First of all, you're segregating yourself. People see this and then they get the idea that races belong with their own races. Secondly, stop being so insecure about yourself. Go out there, into uncharted territory, make friends with someone who isn't like you. It might not be easy but it's something you have to do if you want people to see you as a person and not a race.

 

Stuff that might not go over so well

-I do believe that white males have asian fever. They love the girls and they love the culture. Doesn't bother me... in fact I noticed that it's not just white males but other races too that have the same fascination.

-Asian males have no self confidence (that's why I keep saying work on it like I did and go out there into the wild)

-Someone said it before and I'm going to agree with them that Filipino kids have got it right! Yup, let's admit it, they are the cool Asian kids because they actually have a personality and a flair about them.

 

From one asian to another, C&C"

- Some of you skinny dorky looking asian kids needs to go the gym or something.. and eat more than just rice. I know you can eat whatever you want and not get fat but that's no the point, actually putting a little weight on your face helps.

- Hair. Stop spiking your damn hair! It's so stereotypical and you're just making it easier for other people to put you into their race categories.

- Most of us are genetically short. This is nothing to worry about. I'm only 5'4" and i'm doing just fine. Don't let it take your confidence down. I just go for the girls who are around my height... not godzilla.

- Style. Get a fashion sense... I still see way too many asians dressing tastelessly bland. You can't go up to someone and start talking randomly, but you can show some personality in your clothes. It will help.

- Stop being a damn introvert. People are not going to come to you, put yourself out there.

- You will feel more comfortable hanging out with your own kind by nature... so for this you actually need to make a greater effort to reach out.

- screw what the media said about asians, you want other people to see your personality. not the character of 20 asian stars conveniently generalized.

 

My god I wrote a lot and will stop now before it becomes a book. Everything I write is from observations and experiences in life, not just what I think is going on out there. If you came here looking for some relief like the OP did... it's up to you to show people who you are. As horribly cheesey as that sounds. To quote the waterboy "YOU CAN DO IT!"

[ghost69]

as long as you don't look like you fit the stereotype, then there shouldn't be a problem. stereotypes only happen because of statistics. the majority is the stereotype. me? i dress completely unique. i dress skater the way i want to. yet i can play baseball, basketball, and i have a career. a lot of people look at my casual/going out dress like i just stay home and do nothing. it's just my style, yet my clothes, shoes, jewelry is always clean. i hook up a lot. for somebody that doesn't look like they do anything, should this be happening. just be comfortable with who you are and how you want to project yourself to society. forget the others. hope i followed this thread right. it was long.

 

.........................................................................................................................................................................................

[Altruist]

YEs, OP, dont be so worried about what others think. Remember its your life and you've got to be true to yourself.

[ghost69]

is it true that asians worry about what others think all the time? i'm not sure if this is a stereotype or not. be yourself plain and simple.

 

.........................................................................................................................................................................................

[Altruist]

If an Asian likes spiky hair or martial arts, that doesn't mean he should quit just because 'its stereotyped'.

[LIFE]

 

 

 

This next thing is the thing I hate most, regardless of any topic.. This one tops them all. Asians who only hang out with Asians in their damn groups! Please... you need to stop this.. First of all, you're segregating yourself. People see this and then they get the idea that races belong with their own races. Secondly, stop being so insecure about yourself. Go out there, into uncharted territory, make friends with someone who isn't like you. It might not be easy but it's something you have to do if you want people to see you as a person and not a race.

 

 

 

 

I'm Chinese and about all of my friends are Chinese. I hang out with them when I can not because I can't speak English, but because I just enjoy hanging around them more. It's funny because I never speak English anymore....I speak Chinese all day long and personally I don't really care how Americans think of me. I've dated American females before and it wasn't that big of a deal. I'm someone who is proud of being Chinese and I definitely understand how a lot Asian-Americans have had trouble in this society. But it's all about how you percieve the situation, are you going to let some dumb television producers determine the image of Asians in America?? I mean first of all, why in the hell would you want to watch AMERICAN television for image of Asian men??? Wouldn't you rather go for Asian cinema?? Like Japan, Hong Kong, or Korean cinema???? It's like how Middle-Eastern men are portrayed in America, they're gonna be terrorists on TV hell bent on destroying this country. That's how it's gonna be. You would be foolish to go for any of that stuff. The best way to go about it is to build your own character, and be proud of the fact that you're Asian. Would you want to abandon your Asian identity just to get a few dates with White girls??? I think that's just delusional thinking right there. Think about it.

[ten]

oh i agree. never abandon your identity. that's what i was talking about when I mentioned impressionable young asians/whites turning to rap. it's all about pride. and like i said, i'm a hypocrite =) and pathetically insecure about my identity but i still have pride. the older i get the more i find myself trying to learn about my culture, i hope this is the case for many others. girls, ANY girls are very interested in a guy who isn't just plain normal, so guess what - being cultured helps. Talk about it, it'll keep them interested in you, my ex actually agreed to sit through 7 documentaries on my country right before we broke up.

p.s. korean/jap movies rock

 

LIFE - it's great that you hang out with people you enjoy being around, and have no problem crossing barriers. But for the others who are seeking some sort of acceptance from other races, I still see a lot of asian kids if not most hanging around their own type... and then that leads someone like the OP (not blasting you, just a friendly example) to come here seeking some relief. And Americans watch American television. To the many of them that get their impressions from tv, Asian guys = Jackie Chan, Asian girls = Gong Li. As over simplified as that is, it's up to you to change their thinking.

 

Anyone is welcome to PM me if they want to talk on a more personal level, I've been through a lot of the same things you might be going through.

~ cheers

[aamansj]

This may be the best post I have ever seen on any forum. ever!

[Imprecision]

I don't want to write too much about this, because these debates never end.

 

The vast majority of women don't care about race. Race is irrelevant to attraction - my personal experience shows and confirms this all the time. Thinking that race is related to attraction is like thinking that money and status are related to attraction - totally false.

 

If you read this forum regularly, men complain all the time that women discriminate on the basis of looks, height, race, money, status, etc. Most men are whiners. Whining is counterproductive. Women are impressed by optimistic men. Nothing gets these men down. They put a positive spin on everything.

 

Some men think white guys have it easier with women. Untrue! I know plenty of good-looking, accomplished, friendly white guys who are exceptionally bad with women.

 

Btw, I agree with LIFE. The most successful Asian guys are always rooted in their own culture and their own people.

 

Another thing - Eventually, all Asians go back to their own culture. It's just human nature. When you mature, you want to feel connected to your own people.

 

LIFE,

 

Haha, where are you from? I'm from Vancouver. Back in high-school, I spoke Mandarin and Cantonese all the time. I speak Taiwanese at university now, just for kicks. My sister, btw, speaks no English. She speaks only French and Mandarin. It's hilarious to hear her pronounce English words. She sounds like a Parisian Frenchwoman, with a generous serving of Chinese syntax for variety.

 

Any good Asian dramas to recommend? I watched several addictive Mandarin dramas over the summer. I'm craving for more.

 

From another post

 

I've actually written another post on this subject. On that thread, the OP was an Asian guy asking how to attract white girls. Someone commented that it was helpful. I'll repost it here

 

First of all - all women deserve our attention. Western society has been good for asians in the past twenty years. We asians should reciprocate through neighbourly conduct and sincere contributions.

 

Nevertheless, each person has his preferences. As a Chinese Canadian, this area is my expertise. My bit follows:

 

Definition:

 

White girls: Self-explanatory

Westernised asian girls: Asian girls who don't watch asian dramas.

Non-westernised asian girls: Asian girls who watch asian dramas.

 

1. WGs are easier to pick up than NWAGs. Usually, WGs respond to opinion openers very well. NWAGs resist opinion openers.

 

2. The OP should watch more asian dramas. This way, he reconnects with his ancestral heritages. If you're deeply rooted in your ancestral heritages, all doors open for you. You become a much happier person. When you're a happier person, girls are drawn to you.

 

3. Each woman has her preferences. But these preferences mean nothing. They mean less than nothing, because they shift according to her mood, her current friends, and her most-recently-watched movie. For almost-all women, personality trumps everything.

 

Personality trumps everything – I know, because I pick up girls all the time. When I pick up girls, I get IOIs (indicators of interest) like there’s no tomorrow. It doesn’t matter whether the girl is asian, white, or otherwise.

 

4. It's okay to like white girls. I like white girls, too. I'll tell you why - most white girls, if they stay in China for more than six months, become deeply attached to China. Many white girls have told me, "I have such a soft spot for China," or "I love China, because China is brave and strong," or even "My greatest wish is to marry into a Chinese family."

 

These sentiments impress me everytime. Friends to my people, friends to me.

 

5. Study the art and science of pick-up. Then practise. To be proficient at picking up women, you must do at least 1000 approaches cumulatively. Nevertheless, even if you don't do 1000 approaches, understanding the basic concepts of pick-up will improve your social skills. When you have done 20 pick-ups, your body language and voice automatically improve. Then you become attractive to women.

 

6. I live in Vancouver, which is a half-asian, half-white city. All of my close asian guy friends are dating white girls. At least half of my close white guy friends are dating asian girls. This is good - intermarriages are living testaments to the friendship and alliance between our two peoples.

 

These are pleasant days of sunshine and easy living. Tomorrow might bring rain and overcast clouds. By building friendship and alliance now, we build for ourselves a solid shelter. One day, living will be hard. People will grumble. But they will remember - in the past, such love existed between our peoples that intermarriages were common. Then they will forbear from rash words and rueful decisions.

 

7. Many asian guys are reserved. Our ancestors taught us the virtue of few words and great deeds. Nevertheless, some circumstances demand words. Many white girls like asian guys. Unfortunately, asian guys never approach them. Then, these girls imagine that asian guys are arrogant, or that asian guys don't like them.

 

To be good with women, you must be good at conversations. You must be good at approaching strangers and speaking with strangers. thereforee, practise.

 

8. Today, most asian/white couples in North America are white-guy/asian-girl. But in many parts of Europe, it's the opposite. Historically, most asian/white couples in North America were asian-guy/white-girl. Actually, asian-guy/white-girl couples were considered such a problem in the old days that many moralists denounced it as a great vice. Many factors - for one thing, there weren't many asian girls in North America until the last fifty years. But this also proves that asian guys have a lot to offer – as was the common conclusion of contemporary observers.

 

9. You should love your ancestors, because they are your ancestors. For this reason alone, you should be in love with your people, your culture, and your traditions. I intend to live and die in Vancouver – thereforee, I’ll spread my pillow and blanket beneath the kingly red cedar. But my heart will always bear the plum blossom.

 

Speaking of the mundane world, however – most people don’t know how good asian guys have it. Our people thrive in bad times. In good times, they flourish like wild flowers. Every major city in the world has a solid Chinese population. If you’re Chinese, you can go to any city in the world – you’ll find people who love you and care for you only because of your ancestry.

 

Moreover, this century will be good for our people. Within my lifetime, I foresee that Heaven will prosper our people, enlarge our nation, and grant us many victories. Our sons and daughters will be princes and princesses – many glories await them, large and bright like poppies, and overwhelming too like a sea of poppies in summer. Our children will make garlands of poppies and decorate themselves like beautiful angels – they shall not know the sorrows of past days. Let’s stay on subject – dating, not geopolitics – the OP, however, should learn to play the asian card. It’ll enrich his life, whether he prefers to date asian girls or white girls.

 

10. As for me, I love the women of my people. How to explain it? Chinese women have a simple elegance. This simple elegance is graceful and womanly. But it is also genuine and down-to-earth. Chinese women are never pretentious and never cold. With their friends, they are always warm and hospitable. In fact, the best way to describe them is a luxurious down blanket. This blanket is smooth and soft – you want to hug it over and over again. And in winter, it keeps you warm. Not just your body, but your heart, too. When you make friends with Chinese women, it feels as though they touch your heart with every word, every movement. Sometimes, when your heart is cold and scattered, like a handful of dead ash, they warm it, just as a housewife handles the fire in her hearth with skill and dexterity. Sometimes, they kindle your heart into a great flame. Then you want to add your every drop of heart-blood into the cause of righteousness.

 

Indeed, Chinese women are youqingyouyi. Sure, they are graceful and elegant, but they are also tough and fiercely loyal. They do not hesitate to sacrifice their wealth, reputation, or even life for a good cause or a friend in need. Chinese women are brave, strong, and adventurous. How else did our people flourish even under the heaviest adversity?

 

These things confirm my view that my people are the most beautiful in the world. And having overcome the sorrows and hardship of the past two centuries – they are the bravest, too.

 

Nevertheless, since I live in Vancouver, there’s a chance I might marry a white girl. But as I’ve said elsewhere, I will enter into a long-term relationship with a woman, only if she speaks Mandarin. I’ve already convinced several white girls around me to start studying Mandarin, just to qualify as my girlfriend. Who knows, even if you don’t date me, Mandarin can still be useful – e.g. in commerce, travels, meeting other asian guys, etc.

 

from this post

[BetterKarma]

HEY! I consider myself a westernized Asian girl but I still watch dramas!!!

[Shudder]

is it true that asians worry about what others think all the time? i'm not sure if this is a stereotype or not. be yourself plain and simple.

 

.........................................................................................................................................................................................

 

it may seem like this because a lot of the time, we're looked down upon and made into caricatures all the time, at least by hollywood.

[StrawberryYogurt]

it may seem like this because a lot of the time, we're looked down upon and made into caricatures all the time, at least by hollywood.

 

Exactly. When's the last time you saw an Asian dude in a leading man role romantically in Hollywood movies? Doesn't happen very often, if at all. When's the last time you saw an Asian-American (ie, non FOBBY) couple in a movie or TV series produced by Hollywood even though there are many such couples like that out in the real world.

 

That's why I consume very little Hollywood media. Go Korean dramas and TVB dramas all the way!

[Caterina]

Ghost was being sarcastic. Asian American men are in few numbers in america, thats the only reason they aren't the main love character. But, look at Jet Li, he's Asian and the romantic lead. And so is that one guy from Jungle Book. The guy who played Superman is half Asian (Dean Cain). I'm sure there are more.

[StrawberryYogurt]

Ghost was being sarcastic. Asian American men are in few numbers in america, thats the only reason they aren't the main love character. But, look at Jet Li, he's Asian and the romantic lead. And so is that one guy from Jungle Book. The guy who played Superman is half Asian (Dean Cain). I'm sure there are more.

 

No, it's not the only reason. It's b/c Hollywood is racist. Either that or the audience is racist, they don't want to see an Asian man as the lead. Jet Li? All he plays is karate master type roles. When has he been the romantic lead? Dean Cain? Dude don't look that Asian. They won't cast a full Asian male lead except for Harold and Kumar.

 

Let's not pretend there isn't racism against us in this society esp in f'ed up Hollywood. There is plenty of it, not that we should use that as an excuse in dating or any other endeavor.

[Caterina]

No, it's not the only reason. It's b/c Hollywood is racist. Either that or the audience is racist, they don't want to see an Asian man as the lead. Jet Li? All he plays is karate master type roles. When has he been the romantic lead? Dean Cain? Dude don't look that Asian. They won't cast a full Asian male lead except for Harold and Kumar.

 

Let's not pretend there isn't racism against us in this society esp in f'ed up Hollywood. There is plenty of it, not that we should use that as an excuse in dating or any other endeavor.

 

Give me a break. The one Philipino in my school was the homecoming king and every girl wanted him, including me.

Asians make up about less than 1% of the population in America, hence the lack of roles in American movies. Why are there no whites in Japanese/Indian/Korean/"Asian" movies? Are they racist?

They're catering to a market.

[samis]

Just come to San Francisco. I swear these days Asian Man/Caucasian Woman pairings are almost equal to the opposite. Especially under thirty. That goes for Korean, Chinese and Indian men - usually second generation though.

[Breaker]

I'm asian. I been told by girls, and heard talks from them that I was the hottest asian guy they've ever seen. No kidding.

 

You know why I like being asian? Because It's unique for asian guys to get the kinds of girls like I can. It's not everyday you see an asian dude with a totally hot white chick with a banging body. I'm the truth.

[StrawberryYogurt]

Give me a break. The one Philipino in my school was the homecoming king and every girl wanted him, including me.

Asians make up about less than 1% of the population in America, hence the lack of roles in American movies. Why are there no whites in Japanese/Indian/Korean/"Asian" movies? Are they racist?

They're catering to a market.

 

1) You are wrong! We make up 5% of the population and we are represented way less than 5% of the time. And just about every damn time we are represented, it's the same old cliched dumb sterotype (nerd, kung fu master, etc) .

 

2) There are no whites in Asian movies and that is fine b/c Asian countries don't pretend to be bastions of diversity unlike America.

 

3) Your andecdote doesn't mean squat, that is but one data point. There has been countless research showing that we Asian guys are discriminateed against in dating and other ways of life.

 

4) I'm just posting this not out of whining or anything since my life is really good, but just as a way to get people educated about reality since people are generally clueless about stuff like this (even fellow Asians are clueless sometimes), but I understand it's not easy for people to understand what it's like to walk in others' shoes.

[Imprecision]

So many things to say on the subject. But I won't - again, because these debates never end.

 

StrawberryYogurt,

 

Maybe it is a good thing that we are underrepresented in the media. The old proverb says, "A big tree blocks the wind." We Asians are thriving in North America. We are very successful. But success attracts envy and resentment. It is better that people don't notice us that much, because then we'll thrive forever.

 

It doesn't matter what other peoples think of us. What matters is that our people wax stronger everyday. Then our children won't be bullied.

 

Humility is our ancestors' chief wisdom. Especially since we are so successful in western societies in general, we have to make friends with other peoples. Sometimes, it is worthwhile to give up immediate advantages, if that buys us the good will of other peoples.

 

If antiquity of settlement means anything, then our people have as much right to these lands as any other peoples (except the First Nations). But the reality is that we are a minority. We are the weaker people. As long as our sons and daughters are respected, then we don't have to haggle over every hair-thin difference.

 

And speaking of interracial relationships - I have no problem with westerners marrying our women. First, men imagine that they tame women, but in reality, women tame men. When westerners marry our women, they marry into our people. We are gaining sons-in-law who will help us in hard times.

 

Many westerners are so pure-hearted. When I was in China, I saw many westerners who married into Chinese families. These westerners were in love with everything China. Although they came from faraway shores, they devoted their lives to the advantages of our people. They were so passionate about our people. They moved me - and shamed me, because our own people don't display a tenth of their sincerity.

 

Surely these westerners are a hidden pillar in our house of China. I would have no problem with my sister or cousins marrying western men like that, as long as they respect our people, our traditions, and our culture.

 

After the last two centuries of humiliation, our people have so much to be thankful for, to be where we're at today. I wish that good times last forever, and bad times never come. But that's impossible. I think though, that if we do our parts right, if we never forget where we came from, then we will always find wide, envelopping tree-shelters when it rains, and our own place to play and dance when it shines.

[fragmint]

i am asian and generally like white guys. mostly because i only grew up with white people and only had white friends. secondly because i didnt meet a lot of asian guys until college - i found it hard to communicate with them, they have what i call a 'mini culture' and i just dont 'get them'.

 

another big thing is that asian families can be really complicated and the parents can be really strict. id rather not deal with the drama of trying to please someone else's parents. like others have mentioned in this thread, asian guys normally have the pressure to date only asians. the parents will have a lot of say and attitude towards their daugther in law, a lot of parents pretty much think they still live in the same culture as 50 years ago. they can be very close minded about things so unless i find someone i REALLY super like, i will probably continue not to date asian guys.

 

this is contrast to white guys where the family normally just lets them go out on their own after high school and do things they want. they have pressures from parents too, but it seems to be a LOT less. i can date a white guy without being all stressed about meeting his parents later on.

[Caterina]

1) Again, I said "about".

2) Interesting that there are no whites in Asian movies but whites are always purchasing Asian products/movies like anime and the like.

3)I really have no motivation to prove to you otherwise. I'm just pointing out the truth.

4) Fellow Asians are "clueless" about it, b/c you just want to whine about something that has no basis in reality. Just taking advantage of the fact that being Asian is a racial distinction in the Americas. But so it being white.

 

 

 

I said "about". California isn't representative of America.

[fragmint]

dont wanna fuel this fire anymore, but you did say "Asians make up about less than 1% of the population"

 

about less than 1% .....yes you said about, but you also said 'less' and 1% which is no where near 'about' 5%.

[Caterina]

dont wanna fuel this fire anymore, but you did say "Asians make up about less than 1% of the population"

 

about less than 1% .....yes you said about, but you also said 'less' and 1% which is no where near 'about' 5%.

 

Obviously you do. The point was, its not a large number. I'm not going to get into this with you guys, think what you want. I really don't give a flip.

[Shudder]

Asian guys have the pressure to date asians because 'traditional' asian parents believe white girls are loose sl*tty and will cheat. Whereas its the exact opposite for white guys, the actually encourage their daughter to go be with him for they believe he will make her happy. This is a common double standard which I'm happy to say, my parents don't care much about.

 

I can sorta relate to you about the family thing, however there are the odd times that the family is more open minded and not as conservative, so I wouldn't say you should rule out asians as a whole.