musicguy Posted February 4, 2007 Share Posted February 4, 2007 agreed I think I'll do that to one of my friends Link to comment
Batya33 Posted February 4, 2007 Share Posted February 4, 2007 I think that's a misinterpretation. Lash out?? Lashing out is keying a car. Condoming a car is FUNNY. Yes, and that's where the problem is - you are going to continue behaving this way - and perhaps worse, that's usually the way these things go - because you are able to rationalize it as not "lashing out." Link to comment
blender Posted February 4, 2007 Share Posted February 4, 2007 agualibre777, I think it's wonderful that you are choosing to learn from all this, and you might learn not to "repeat" cetain patterns, and if being around him even in "yoga class" is causing you frustration or anxiety or giving HIM the satisfaction of being in "your space".. whether you are "over him" or not, just like when you kept saying "no" to sex and you kept seeing him.. well the same can be said for the yoga class, if you think he is coming to this class AFTER you asked him not to..well then it would be very self empowering for you to change your "workout" and do something else just for awhile.. YOU and your self respect are more important then your yoga class or your tight schedule.. Do NOT think of it as giving into him and letting him have the class.. heck, let him have the class, stay away.. do something else for your workout for awhile.. c'mon, it's best to stay away from him.. it's best for YOU. I really strongly lovingly suggest you make the self respecting choice to stay away from him for awhile, don't be around him at all.... be proud of yourself for NOT going to the same yoga class for awhile, the priority now is YOU and your own self respect... it would be very classy and empowering to be STAY AWAY from him... and change your yoga workout temporarily.. it doesn't mean he "wins", it means you are now making choices that are about YOU, for YOU, and the best thing is that he does NOT get to see you at all... stay away... Link to comment
annie24 Posted February 4, 2007 Share Posted February 4, 2007 Can he press charges for the condom thing on the car? doubtful. However, I have been in a position where a creepy guy was pulling little "pranks" on me, he probably thought he was funny. Like obscene phone calls in the morning and knocking on my door at random hours. And when I rejected him, he got scary and started yelling at me, walking down the street, yelling obscenities in full daylight. I swung by the police station and filed "stalking papers." Bascially saying that any contact from him was unwanted attention and that if he continued to make contact with me, he could be charged and pay a fine. Actually, the police offered to charge him for "disturbing the peace" simply for following me and yelling obscenities at me for one block. So, I think if you keep up the "pranks" and this behavior, he would be well within his right to file harassment or stalking papers. All you are doing is fueling his ego, and if you keep it up, his ire. If one member on eNotalone were doing this to another member, they would have earned a "ban" by now. Do you feel satisified now? Or do you feel like you need to keep needling him? Link to comment
musicguy Posted February 4, 2007 Share Posted February 4, 2007 guys, it was just a joke, it's not like she's gonna be doing it ALL the time to him Link to comment
annie24 Posted February 4, 2007 Share Posted February 4, 2007 guys, it was just a joke, it's not like she's gonna be doing it ALL the time to him she yelled at him last week. I am just asking if she is done or if she is going to be doing it to him all the time. I mean, it's one thing to do this to a friend, if condoms are a sort of "inside joke," the friend would probably think it is funny. but the fact is that she's very angry at him, so it makes this seem like harassment. The intention seems to annoy him, not to make him laugh. Link to comment
agualibre777 Posted February 5, 2007 Author Share Posted February 5, 2007 Hope, you are truly off the hook. On the real. I am actually not angry at him at all. I understand that what he did is all he knows. I know I don't want to get involved with him. I know I was angry at him last week, but I'm not angry at him now. I called him a name when I was mad. Am I the first one to call someone a name when they're mad???? Am I following him around town calling him a name??? NO. Did I say it was the best thing to do? No. But did it make me feel better afterwards? Yes. Am I going every day to his house and plastering condoms on his doors, windows, front porch, car, underwear? No. I'm not. I did it once. It was funny. Haha. Just relax and stop taking it so personally and comparing me to a situation that had absolutely nothing to do with me. Link to comment
Hope75 Posted February 5, 2007 Share Posted February 5, 2007 I think you mean Annie, not me. But I agree with her. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted February 5, 2007 Share Posted February 5, 2007 It can be the most difficult for the person who does something like you did to understand the emotions that underly it or to admit them. You did not do it to be friendly or to have a laugh "with him" - you did it because you were angry at being rejected by him and perhaps angry at yourself. If it were motivated by wanting to be a friend to him or to make him laugh in a friend to friend way you would not have gone about it the way you did. Link to comment
DizzyDoris Posted February 5, 2007 Share Posted February 5, 2007 Sheeesh, this girl has had SIX pages of people telling her off over something that was a JOKE!!! NO harm was done people, everyone stop stressing! Whats done is done, she cant take it back. Theres another thread on here where a girl has KEYED her boyfriends car, that topic only has 2 pages???!? Link to comment
Batya33 Posted February 5, 2007 Share Posted February 5, 2007 Well, it continued because of the responses from the OP. Of course harm was done. No one should interfere with your property, he had to spend time cleaning it off to be able to drive his car and it likely was embarrassing. Link to comment
agualibre777 Posted February 5, 2007 Author Share Posted February 5, 2007 well, you can have the last word then. Link to comment
applepie Posted February 5, 2007 Share Posted February 5, 2007 Had to spend time cleaning it off? That would have taken all of 2 seconds. Maybe 10 if the tape got stuck. It'd be a shame to waste his precious time... Link to comment
Batya33 Posted February 5, 2007 Share Posted February 5, 2007 Perhaps you wouldn't mind returning to your car to find tape all over it. I don't have a car but if I found my coat with tape all over it or my bag, such that I would have to clean it off before using it, you can bet I would be annoyed and I would make sure, if I knew who did it, to notify whoever needed to be notified whether it was the person's employer, parents, or the cops depending on the extent of the damage and the situation. Link to comment
DizzyDoris Posted February 5, 2007 Share Posted February 5, 2007 well you'd look pretty silly for wasting police time, filing a report because you had sellotape on your handbag. I really think this thread is getting out of hand, and like aqua said, you can have the last word now. All the best aqualibre777 Link to comment
blender Posted February 5, 2007 Share Posted February 5, 2007 I guess this whole thread is about "lessons learned".. and that even though the "act" of taping something to his car might have "felt good and justified in the heat of the emotions".. that in the long run, there are "healthier options" in dealing with our own "disapppointments" regarding someone else's behavior. At least it was not 'personal injury or harm" that was inflicted, but it's still not FOR FUTURE REFERANCE an "emotionally mature" way to handle the situation, but or course is it "understandable reactionary behavior" on her part... so she can forgive herself this moment of "acting out towards him" and choose to grow past all this, and to let go of anything concerning him.. and get busy with her own life. And hopefully choose a different approach next time she feels betrayed or disappointed by someone...by simply turning the other cheek and letting go... And I happen to believe (not saying it's a "should" but more a "suggestion") it would be wonderful if she did change her yoga class and stayed away from him for a while... he's just a creep... and choosing to be around him in any way, while she is still "vulnerable"...well that's a tough thing to do. I know she is expressing she is "over it"...but it's always best when we do not "like or approve or respect" someone else..or we don't like "seeing them flirt with someone"...well it's best to take time away from them, till she can "re-gain" a healthy perspective on the fact that HE has nothing to do with her "worthiness or self respect" and until it no longer matters to her when he "flirts with someone, or that he is still in HER class" after she asked him to not come to it anymore out of respect for her... but this guys problem is he lacks "self respect" and respect for woman in general so it seems. and for now I think it stills bother her a bit in your "gut" that he's STILL taking HER time of yoga class. That would bother me too. I hope she gives herself a break from him..and she doesn't take the class for awhile.. she deserves and maybe "needs" the time away from him... Link to comment
p_fred Posted February 6, 2007 Share Posted February 6, 2007 Did you take the condoms out of the package? If not maybe he can still use them! Hahah.. if my ex did that I would think she was a little crazy.. especially if she was the one that broke up with me. But your ex-bf sounds like a freak so its good you got out. Link to comment
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