Sense of Humor

[cpc28655]

Just another one of my "curiosity" questions. How much importance would you place on a good sense of humor, as opposed to everything else you look for in a person (looks, personality, ect.)?

 

To put it another way, would a great sense of humor make you overlook other things? Would a bad sense of humor or no sense of humor be an automatic turn-off.

 

This may be a silly question, but humor me. (yes, that pun was intentional)

[anggrace]

I would say that a bad sense of humor would turn me off. Its more important to me that a guy be able to find humor in similar things rather than himself having to make me laugh if ya know what I mean. Im not so sure if a guy had a great sense of humor that I would over look other things though, but it might help balance things out if there were some faults.

[in_the_mirror]

i would find that if i were to choose between a model with no sense of humor or a bad one, and someone who wasn't model standards and they had an amazing sense of humor i would choose the guy with the amazing sense of humor....i love to laugh and i don't think i've ever met someone who doesn't.

[RayKay]

I would say a sense of humour is important - but less so in a "comedic-Seinfeld way" and more so in the ability to laugh at some of the things that happen in life, and at yourself when the situation warrants it!

 

Laughing TOGETHER when life is throwing its punches really is incredible for bringing you together.

 

I cannot say whether I would separate it from other things, I mean people are package deals. For me, a sense of humour is part of one's personality.

 

I do know that I could not be with someone whom was ALWAYS serious and never laughed or saw the humour in things; but on other hand I could not be with someone whom NEVER took a anything seriously either, or got their laughs by being cruel to others or ALWAYS being self deprecating (sometimes it is good to laugh at oneself but when you use it as an excuse to just put yourself down and prevent positive change...it's not..).

 

To what degree someone values it, depends on that person and experiences as well.

[Dako]

Humor is such a strong tool for coping, I can't imagine not laughing together under adversity. I love a funny woman.

[Batya33]

I completely agree with this - all of it and in particular that your senses of humor have to be compatible. It's not like a one man/one woman show. It's also not like one guy I dated who told me "I wear the mask of humor."

[RayKay]

It's not like a one man/one woman show. It's also not like one guy I dated who told me "I wear the mask of humor."

 

Oh yikes, what does that even MEAN?

 

 

[Batya33]

Apparently it meant that he hid his true feelings by being funny all the time. And I have to say - this guy was hysterical - he had it all down - delivery, tone, timing, substance - but after awhile it became like a one man show and I was just the audience. We did not date for too long.

[RayKay]

Apparently it meant that he hid his true feelings by being funny all the time. And I have to say - this guy was hysterical - he had it all down - delivery, tone, timing, substance - but after awhile it became like a one man show and I was just the audience. We did not date for too long.

 

That is what I figured it would mean; what an odd comment to make to someone! Particularly someone you are dating.

[caro33]

The mask of humour statement sounds very dramatic!

 

I agree, a sense of humour is important, but not wackiness for the sake of wackiness. That can get really grating.

 

But a shared wackiness that corresponds with a shared sense of timing can be invaluable. For me, the shared values, appreciation of chemistry etc is meaningless without the humour as well.

 

In fact, there was an ex of mine who, when I first saw him, I thought "poor soul, he is deeply unattractive" but after we spent a lot of time together and shared many laughs I ended up thinking he was the sexiest man on the planet. Even with his copious back hair, his potato head and his little currant eyes, to me he was HOT .

[RayKay]

 

In fact, there was an ex of mine who, when I first saw him, I thought "poor soul, he is deeply unattractive" but after we spent a lot of time together and shared many laughs I ended up thinking he was the sexiest man on the planet. Even with his copious back hair, his potato head and his little currant eyes, to me he was HOT .

 

I have a boyfriend that died a few years ago now, I was with him five years. What I remember most fondly of him was his ability to make me laugh, and everyone laugh, he had a wicked sense of humour but was always respectful of others. He was definitely not attractive by "media standards" - he started balding at 16 so was quite lacking in hair department by time I met him (and had an odd shaped head!), and not in the best of shape and quite short so he looked kinda round,....but I adored him and was very attracted to him. It was his sense of humour that really won me over, we were friends first and I just fell for him after a few months of seeing how much he loved life and laughter. I totally was attracted to him and too thought he was so hot! A sense of humour really makes someone ALIVE.

 

My family is one whom laughs a lot, and often. During the past year, it has been even more important as we deal with some serious issues. And for me it is so important to have a partner that also has that kind of spirit.

[Batya33]

The mask of humour statement sounds very dramatic!

 

I agree, a sense of humour is important, but not wackiness for the sake of wackiness. That can get really grating.

 

But a shared wackiness that corresponds with a shared sense of timing can be invaluable. For me, the shared values, appreciation of chemistry etc is meaningless without the humour as well.

 

In fact, there was an ex of mine who, when I first saw him, I thought "poor soul, he is deeply unattractive" but after we spent a lot of time together and shared many laughs I ended up thinking he was the sexiest man on the planet. Even with his copious back hair, his potato head and his little currant eyes, to me he was HOT .

 

I can just see it now on an online profile "despite my copious back hair, potato head and currant eyes -- you will have to wear Depends you'll laugh so hard. . . ."

 

(sorry for going off topic. . .)

[caro33]

That sounds really tough RayKay. I hope you and your family continue to share many laughs .

 

Yes I think a sense of humour is such fundamental aspect of vitality - I cannot imagine loving someone without it.

 

Batya - the funny thing is that this guy thought he was totally hot. He had a real swagger and a massive ego. His online profile would probably say he was going to be next Prime Minister of England (he believed this was true, not sure how) AND people would have to wear Depends (a nappy I presume?) because of his extraordinary intelligence and sense of humour. Yep, I was in it for the laughs

[cpc28655]

Well, this question may not have been as silly as I thought. I was just remembering something that happened when I was 17 years old. Me and a few of my buddies went to see a movie (can't even remember the movie). Of course, after buying out tickets we went to get our popcorn, candy, ect. The girl behind the counter asked if I wanted some extra butter on my popcorn. For some unknown reason, I responded with, "Nah, don't treat me special, just give me that same greasy crap you give everybody else." Well, this started an intresting conversation that resulted in the one and only time in my life I've gotten a girl's phone number without asking for it.

 

The date was horrible, but that's another story for another thread.

[caro33]

Well, this question may not have been as silly as I thought. I was just remembering something that happened when I was 17 years old. Me and a few of my buddies went to see a movie (can't even remember the movie). Of course, after buying out tickets we went to get our popcorn, candy, ect. The girl behind the counter asked if I wanted some extra butter on my popcorn. For some unknown reason, I responded with, "Nah, don't treat me special, just give me that same greasy crap you give everybody else." Well, this started an intresting conversation that resulted in the one and only time in my life I've gotten a girl's phone number without asking for it.

 

The date was horrible, but that's another story for another thread.

 

I would have liked you for that comment too.

 

Yeah I think I wrote about my experience somewhere else, but the secret to my heart has always been someone who has an offbeat and sometimes confrontational sense of humour. Being nice and oh-so-polite might be the done thing, but it can also be boring and it doesn't help differentiate one person from another. Every guy I have loved has been able to shock me and make me laugh. I'm not talking purile or nasty stuff, but off-the-cuff comments that come from nowhere and show the person has a brain and is not afraid to use it .

 

I think that this appeals to lots of people though - but it also might lead to the "why do women like bad boys" thing. In fact, I think it was a post about ego and bad boys that I originally posted to. Hard to tell the difference sometimes between an ego-driven funnyman and a more humble and observant character. My currant-eyed ex was a bit of a bad boy (read self-indulgent loser who drank too much and used humour to perform for others) but my god he could be funny.

[itsallgrand]

This is a nice thread.

 

I think I am one of those people who has taken humour for granted in others. Only now am I starting to really get how important it is, and how tough it is when humour is Lacking!

I think it is bc I have been lucky enough to have known some really good humoured people.

You kinda have to be if you are a friend of mine otherwise you'd go nuts.

 

Yeah, it's important to me. I'm not too fond of comedic routines all the time (don't think I could handle dating a comedian! ) but being able to laugh and inject some light and perspective into situations is a really important quality.

 

I dated one guy for a bit who was a true riot, but it got old very fast for me. To be honest, I felt confused a lot of the time. It got tiring trying to keep up with the latest running joke or line of comedy that he was creating, and I just wanted to kick back and not have to think. It was like "hey, remember me?"

And sometimes, I felt slow witted around him, which I didn't like, because I would say something intended to be taken somewhat seriously and it would come flying back at me with a whole different twist...and what I really wanted was to just be heard sometimes, y'know, not riffed off of.

 

More than anything, you don't even have to be really funny, but just being able to kick back and smile.

 

A running attraction for me in people are ones who can smile when the world is going crazy. It's a little more subtle of a sense of humor, but so precious and grounding.

[Kevin T]

Without pilfering others' comments, I have to agree that humour is quite important. It's not THE most important thing I look for, but without a sense of humour and the ability to take life easy, smile and laugh, I'd say a relationship won't go far (unless two people have NO sense of humour). The good thing is, most people I've met do have a sense of humour and know how to laugh and have a good time.

 

I think people WITHOUT a sense of humour are definitely in the minority.

[Aurian]

A guy who can make me laugh is a definate turn on, as is someone who laughs at my own cracks

[cpc28655]

Well, sometimes I get a bit carried away with humor. I remember the first valentines day present I got for my ex wife AFTER we got married. For this to make sense, you must understand that I named her boobs. I called them whole and 2%, lmao. I had a custom bra made that had one red cup and one blue cup. It cost me more then a joke should have, but I can't stop laughing even as I am typing this. To my knowledge she still has it, even though I've only known her to wear it once. It was one of those things that seemed like a good idea at the time.

[Kevin T]

What did you name 'em? lol

[Aurian]

Well, sometimes I get a bit carried away with humor. I remember the first valentines day present I got for my ex wife AFTER we got married. For this to make sense, you must understand that I named her boobs. I called them whole and 2%, lmao. I had a custom bra made that had one red cup and one blue cup. It cost me more then a joke should have, but I can't stop laughing even as I am typing this. To my knowledge she still has it, even though I've only known her to wear it once. It was one of those things that seemed like a good idea at the time.

 

That.

 

Just goes to show that there are a lot of different types of humour. Everything from word-play and sarcasm to punk'ed and body function humour. A guy who enjoys Dennis Millar probably wouldn't be too impressed with a whoopie cushion.

[cpc28655]

What did you name 'em? lol

 

Whole and 2%, as in milk. Whole milk usually has the red cap, and 2% usually has a blue cap.

[Kevin T]

How did I miss that?! lol

 

Sorry, I'm very preoccupied, essay writing and stuff.

[cpc28655]

In case you are wondering it cost me $50 to have that bra custom made. She was always saying that she fell in between sizes, and could never find the right size. So for her birthday that same year, I took her to have her measured, so they could make her some that would fit her better. I just placed an order later using those same measurements, lol.

[cpc28655]

How did I miss that?! lol

 

Sorry, I'm very preoccupied, essay writing and stuff.

 

Believe me, I understand. There were times in culinary school I thought I would pull my hair out.