Cheating BF dating my upstair neighbor!!!!

[missmar]

Okay we only just broke it off Sunday. I broke it off because I told him I did not trust him. (believe me he gave me plenty of reasons not to trust) Also, I had a gut feeling it was the skank upstairs that he was cheating with. When I confronted him, he said I don't know what you are talking about....I don't know anybody named Amy and your crazy. I told him I maybe crazy but I am certainly NOT YOUR DOORMAT and I told him I'll find out so FESS UP. He says I am the only one!!!

 

Anyway...I came home from the salon today and guess who I hear romping around upstairs. That's right Skank and Ex....hiding it pretty well because his car is not here.

 

My question, how am I supposed to act when I run into them.....the wound is still open...yet he is having his way with her right above me. I am disgusted but want to have dignitiy... Any suggestions on how I can pull this off.

[Clementine orange]

Hold your head high and know that you are a better person than him. He will get what's coming to him - and his little skank upstairs too. This is a certainty.

If/when you do meet, I would say nothing - silence is so much stronger than words could ever be. (though a dirty look would certainly be well placed)

Be strong and sorry to hear this.

[NolaDarling]

Hello, I just wrote the post underneath yours..."I'm done with him...again". I just wanted to let you know that I REALLY admire you! You were able to go with your gut. That is something I am working on...really LISTENING to my gut instincts and trusting it. You didn't stick around to try to find proof like I did...which just brought on more hurt and pain when I did in fact find proof...that my gut instinct was right. I've been reading through the posts today and I guess what I would advise you to do based on advise others have been giving is to "Do nothing". Don't contact him. Don't confront either of them. Don't go off on either of them. Don't go seeking out proof or revenge. Instead be proud of yourself that you didn't allow him to continue to lie and cheat on you. Continue to treat yourself with respect and dignity. Be the bigger person. Hold you head up high if you run into either of them. They deserve each other...the cheater and the skank! Stay strong and be proud of yourself! Again, I ADMIRE YOU for your strength and standing firm in your convictions! GOOD FOR YOU!

[annie24]

how do you know for sure that was your ex you heard romping around?

[CarnelianButterfly]

how do you know for sure that was your ex you heard romping around?

That's what I was thinking.

 

Is it totally impossible for her to be dating a different person and having them over?

[missmar]

Annie...I can here them!!! I am in a condo and right now there seems to be a marathon going on. I know his voices....okay...trust me

[annie24]

ok, so assuming it is him and not someone else..... hmmmm I don't know. that's never happened to me, so I would be like, shocked. and grossed out. ewww...... when is your lease over? I would move. home is my refuge, a place to unwind, and I can't unwind with my ex "romping" upstairs.....

 

how long did you guys date? I dated a guy once in my apartment building, lived nearby me.... and I felt pretty awkward when I heard female voices from his apartment, but we didn't date long enough for me to be too traumatized over it.

[missmar]

Hi Annie, thank you for taking the time....with the ridiculous situation

 

I cannot believe the balls he has...HONEST TO GOD...What kind of person does this. To top it all off since December my cat died, quit my job, and now this...How much more does this person think I can take.

 

You know what Annie...I think he gets a kick doin her above me....makes him feel powerful. Thank god I don't own a gun....really just kidding

 

I have not seen it....but I hear it... I hope that count..God I AM SO LIVID RIGHT NOW>>I HAVE NEVER been so DISRESPECTED....

[cantexplain]

Whoa - I've been through this. matmer knows what is happening. She has done many reality checks on this, I am certain. She knows her home.

 

ewwwww skankity skank skank skank

 

to do this above his ex' house is just plain gross and inconsiderate - doesn't he have a house?

 

the fact that his car is not there says even more, to me, i.e. sneakiness.

 

if you are really hurt and can easily break your lease and can't see how close a call it was that you didn't get even deeper with this guy, etc, then by all means move.

 

another idea is to secure your self-worth and confidence by doing quite the opposite - forget about these two incredibly thoughtless individuals and live and live well.

[cantexplain]

Hi Annie, thank you for taking the time....with the ridiculous situation

 

I cannot believe the balls he has...HONEST TO GOD...What kind of person does this. To top it all off since December my cat died, quit my job, and now this...How much more does this person think I can take.

 

You know what Annie...I think he gets a kick doin her above me....makes him feel powerful. Thank god I don't own a gun....really just kidding

 

I have not seen it....but I hear it... I hope that count..God I AM SO LIVID RIGHT NOW>>I HAVE NEVER been so DISRESPECTED....

 

I know!! I am mad for you these kind of people are so low - their affair won't last and you also won't want him back I hope. This will take time.

 

You are right it is some kind of very weird control thing. As long as this bothers you he's got you where he wants you. I am so mad for you.

 

He's painted a target on your back and either scrub that target off or run fast and out of range.

 

I am also sorry about the cat. You will get better jobs and much better boyfriends.

 

I recommend you do not talk to them and do no spying.

 

This pain will help you to stay away from skanks in the future. Be glad because they are nasty to have infecting your inner circle. Nasty. ewwwwww.

 

Living well is the best revenge.

[missmar]

cantexplain....

 

What the hey...you have been through this before...I mean this guy is lower than a used car sales man. I think he want a reaction out of me. I accused him of doin her on Saturday....now he thinks since were broke up he can now do her...

 

Alright you guys....I will not rest tonight until whoever is doin her walks out. I promise I will not do a think but just observe. Man...I hope I have enought coffee.....Thanks for listining to me and all your advise!!!!

 

Marianne

[cantexplain]

cantexplain....

 

What the hey...you have been through this before...I mean this guy is lower than a used car sales man. I think he want a reaction out of me. I accused him of doin her on Saturday....now he thinks since were broke up he can now do her...

 

Alright you guys....I will not rest tonight until whoever is doin her walks out. I promise I will not do a think but just observe. Man...I hope I have enought coffee.....Thanks for listining to me and all your advise!!!!

 

Marianne

 

yes I have.

 

once.

 

omg it is the worst to have it around your house.

 

but let me share some of the good parts - you know now what is going on what happened to you what kind of man this is.

 

a lot of people get dumped by skanks and never know what the relational impasse was because all of the other dishonesty. and of, course, many of these people endure years of this treatment.

 

be thankful for the information the universe is giving you through proximity

 

skanky people are often busy acting out, punishing, etc. Its nastiness inside and out.

 

please try (i know it is hard) to not let this bother you.

 

if he is sneaky like this and all the other stuff I am picking up on he is the kind of guy you need to stay away from, for sure

 

don't confuse this control over you with love for you or anything even near it

 

a few people on this site may be more sympathetic to his freedom he may be exercising above you. I am not.

 

Here is a thread you should check out when you've decompressed from this HORRIBLE situation and are balanced and ready for your next dating prospect -

 

 

[Eileen101]

This guy actually sounds like someone who is or has NPD. Narcisistic Personality disorder. Someone who has no feeling or empathy whatsoever for other people. How long did you date him? Is this the first time that you have had this type of situation with him? I am very experienced with this type of behavior, unfortunately, and the worst part of it for you, like everyone else has noted, is that this is taking place so dang close to you. I have an even better idea as to how you should treat him if and when you see him. Just smile as big and as happy as you possibly can and if for some reason he should say something to you as to why you are smiling such a huge grin you can simply say "I couldn't be happier that she is dealing with you now instead of me, good ridance". That would be such a huge slap in the face. If not just know this. Get and stay as far away as possible from this person because anyone who pulls junk like this really is sick. Mental. To have such disregard for another person shows what little or no respect he has for himself much less for anyone else. But you seriousley can project the sleeziness of their actions right back onto them in a very classy way. People like this hate that type of strength. They really don't know what to do with strength like that and they are terrified of it. That means that he or they really have no power whatsover and you can make them very uncomfortabley aware of it. Show them who is one step above it all, and with little or no effort. GOOD LUCK