I saw this in a "Getting your EX back" column, but...

[need2bme]

I think it could apply to both sexes. Moreover, I think that it could be true period. I know that sometimes I have grown to love someone, but most of the time, the initial reaction with hormones flying, is usually there. What do you guys think about this quote"

 

"Women don't CHOOSE who they feel ATTRACTION for, and they don't choose the emotions that they feel either.

 

It just HAPPENS. Bam!"

[Hope75]

They may not choose their emotions, but they can choose how they react to them and also apply common sense to the situation and if it does not fit, choose not to act on their feelings.

 

I am a firm believe that you cannot "get" an ex back who does not want to come back on their own anyway. One person cannot carry a relationship if the other is unwilling. It's a two way street, and people have their own free will and the ability to make the choices they feel are right for them.

 

That's why I don't think there is a "strategy" for getting an ex back. The only way it happens is if BOTH parties want it and both parties work for it.

[Dako]

Seems like a quote from a romantic person.

 

Some folks interview people for a relationship, and others just get hit by lightning.

[DropToZero]

yeah it's true...people don't choose who they're attracted to...it's just something that happens to you. It can be a great thing, or a horrible downfall too haha, because some people can't see past the attraction and see that a person still is not good for them. But I mean think about it, when was the last time you were in public and saw a pretty girl walk by...what did you think about?...."wow she looks great" or..."I wonder if I'm attracted to her, yes...I am"

[majord23]

 

"Women don't CHOOSE who they feel ATTRACTION for, and they don't choose the emotions that they feel either.

 

It just HAPPENS. Bam!"

 

It's true in most cases...and it applies to men as well.

That's why people (sometimes) end up in the same destructive relationships over a lifetime - if they were thinking logically, the cycle would be broken.

[Batya33]

I think it's silly to generalize about "women" and I agree with Hope75 that of course you can control your reactions to your feelings.

 

I have had the slow pot to boil relationships and the struck by lightning relationships. All that matter is, 6 to 9 months in, how is it going?

 

And I think the interviewing people v. struck by lightning are two extremes. There is a more common middle ground where you feel initial attraction and then react by enjoying that and also figuring out - with a combination of head and heart - whether you two are compatible for a long term relationship, a fling, or nothing at all.

[need2bme]

WOW! Thanks for the responses. Makes me think about it alot. I know too, that I have been attracted in the beggining and then it totally blossomed later. So, maybe both are true.