The whole hoo-ha about "finding" love...

[Batya33]

It depends doubleg on how you were "trying," whether you had a positive mindset, a reasonably confident presense, if you truly enjoy talking to people, etc. Have you ever asked an objective person to evaluate how you interact with people, your vibes, body language, etc - not just with dating, with people in general?

[Batya33]

A therapist or a religious adviser, if appropriate.

[Baby Carrot]

... "love" and people's experiences of it are so multi-dimensional, so wired into past experiences, personality types, attitudes and luck, that I would think that the ideal type you write of sounds vaguely mystical and quite frankly, unattainable for most adults. If I felt damaged by my past relationships and lacked faith I that I would find love, the ideal type would depress me no end...

 

 

 

I adore this woman's posts.

Caro is #1

 

[Batya33]

 

 

I adore this woman's posts.

Caro is #1

 

 

Amen!! I would add although nowhere near as eloquently as Caro, that often those that scream from the rooftops about having the ideal "true love" - they will burn their old love letters for him/her, they have no interest in even talking to other people - who needs other people when love is so true - they are soulmates . . . . and they have been dating 2 incredible glorious months where they just "knew" from day one . . . .. they are the same ones screaming a few months down the road or earlier that they "didn't know" x and y and z (where those were things they knew from the beginning and chose to ignore because it would interfere with the high.

 

Now, of course there are those who scream and 60 years later are still just as in love or more in love or more sure than they were the day they met. What I find though is that those who scream the abstractions are in love with an abstraction. Those who are simply "fine" and "satisfied" and have no need to scream from the rooftops are those I truly admire because while you can see and sense their strong bond, it is the quiet security in that bond - and thereforeeee no need to be "smug married" or "brag" that is so great to see.