Trouble with b/f's past

[Batya33]

Since I don't know whether your boyfriend has listening skills/hearing difficulties I can't say whether it was clear to him that you wanted to go and why. For myself, I never have had a good time joining a bf where he was lukewarm about me attending.

[pregnantkitty_1985]

No one likes to hear about anyone's sexual past, and they don't like to hear about yours either. You can ask, but often you'll find you'd of been better off not knowing. Trust me.

[tropicalx3]

i haven't read the rest of the posts but i know exactly how you feel. i've been with my boyfriend for two years and in the beginning of our relationship we got in fights constantly because i could not put his past behind us. any girl he ever once felt attracted to, i felt was a threat to me. i have a pretty low self esteem so i understand now why i acted that way. me and him had a lot of the same conversations and i regret that it took me two years to realize that theres a reason he is with me.

 

i can't blame myself completely though because when we met i was almost 16 and he had just turned 20. obviously he had more experience than me. he never slept around. he only had sex with two other girls before me. one was a two year relationship in hs and the other was a girl he briefly was with right before i met him.

 

there have been so many times where i wish i could erase things in his past. like when he broke up with that girlfriend he went out with in hs, and his brothers girlfriend [fiance now] got him drunk and hooked up with him " to make him feel better."

 

it's hard for me to be around her because not only are his brother and his fiance swingers but she has hooked up with my boyfriend. how awkward is that? i've tried to get over it but how am i supposed to when i know i'll be stuck with this self obsessed b!tch foreverrrrrrrr. UGH

 

the other night we were kissing and he did something he's never done before.. and i was like where'd that come from? and he goes, do you really want to know? and im like jaime? grrrrrrreat. but i just tried to put it behind me and realize that even if he experienced this with her, she's out of his life and he's experiencing it with me now. i shouldn't put a damper on our relationship just because he has done things in the past. afterall we all have a past, right?

 

it took me a long time to become okay with this but i was pretty proud of myself. what if we become married and have children? should i spend the rest of my life worrying about what he's done in his past as long as he has committed to make his future with me?

 

it's hard to come into someones life and learn about a past that didn't include you. make the most of the time you have together.

[tropicalx3]

No one likes to hear about anyone's sexual past, and they don't like to hear about yours either. You can ask, but often you'll find you'd of been better off not knowing. Trust me.

 

omg. i agree completely.

 

there have been so many times where i screwed myself by asking for too much information. i made it so much harder to accept that everyone has a past and it's the future together that matters.

[JimmerJammer]

Maybe one day it'll come back to haunt me and cause some harboring negative feelings towards my gf, but in all honesty I don't care about that stuff anymore. So what? I mean isn't it more important that you two are together than who they were together with? Heck I know its hard to look past it, at first I had difficulty with it and yet then again I also know I have a past too and know that those girls mean nothing to me now.

 

I mean its one thing to ask them about their past without being able to HANDLE their response and its another to laugh at life as one big stupid joke and realize that it's all pointless anyways. Sure it all seems important and that we need to do this and be like that and yet really what only matters in this world is the present moments we have leading up to our final ones. I'm blessed to have my gf in my life no matter the extent of bf's and ONS she has had because life is unpredictable and I can lose her at any moment. If I try my hardest to hold on and block out these things then it will be that much harder to let go when its taken from me. And trust me there's NOTHING I CAN DO about that regardless if today's the last day I see her or 50 years from now. So whenever I consider life I always ask myself whether it will be relevant to my final moments or not and that's how you discover what is most precious.

[hope123]

I know that it shouldnt be an issue..but i think its even harder for someone who isnt as experienced. Ultimately its not something i bring up often or anything but it annoys me to think who else was in that bed, did he have more fun even though its over..i guess eventually those feelings go away as the relationship goes on.