My whole life might change, please help me! please!

[Steph46]

Hi, you mentioned her periods are irregular, does she go months without getting her period? I ask because when I was younger I was anemic and got my period maybe 1-2 times a year. Numerous doctors told me I could not get pregnant...you don't ovulate, you don't get pregnant. So maybe that his her situation.

 

I have had scares and believe me, I thought I had every pregnancy symptom imaginable but that was just it, I imagined it.

 

After about 5 years of unprotected sex (with my now husband ) I did get pregnant at 20 with twins. I didn't feel stomach pains, really my first symtoms were breast pain and dizziness. I even have my period when I was about 2-3 weeks pregnant so you can't even go strictly by that.

 

Anyway, as far as pregnancy ruining someone's life, yes I did drop out of college and struggled but not a day goes by that I don't thank God that I did get pregnant. My life would be ruined without them!

[Mythical_Suicide]

ok...so you're telling me that she can have a full period and still be pregnant??? i thought that once a girl started her period she wasnt pregnant. i was going to do a pregnancy test in about 2 and a half weeks if she hadnt had her period yet...but if she can have one and still be pregnant then dang, i need to do one anyway i guess

 

oh...and if she gets her period, does this mean there is a better chance of her not being pregnant or does that not matter? like...if she has one they does that mean she most likely isnt? it's probably a stupid question but im trying to learn all i can all at once here...

 

 

Yes, A female can have her period during pregnancy, or even if one doesnt have an actual period she can have something called Implantation Bleeding that can come on around the time a female is supposed to start. So it's better to test and be safe than not test and be sorry Later on.

I would have never tested since I had my period had I not had all the other symptoms of pregnancy. I say wait 3 full weeks instead of 2 and a half to test you can always get a false negative if it's too early.

[shep88ner]

no...she has monthly periods, it's just sporatic. there is never a deffinate date of when she usually starts or ends. sometimes her periods last 7-9 days even and she gets pains from it so bad she cries sometimes. that's why she's going on BC after her next period. but she has them every month, they're just all over the place. someimes they start as early as the 25th, and sometimes they start aoudn the 6th or 7th

[Mythical_Suicide]

Hi, you mentioned her periods are irregular, does she go months without getting her period? I ask because when I was younger I was anemic and got my period maybe 1-2 times a year. Numerous doctors told me I could not get pregnant...you don't ovulate, you don't get pregnant. !

 

 

While that is true is alot of cases, just because you dont bleed doesnt mean you don't ovulate. It's just one of those rare things that can happen. I went to school wiht a girl in the 9th grade who had the same problem, was told that and ended up pregnant.

 

(BTW im just trying to point this out so people don't read this and think they CANT get pregnant just cause they have this problem.)

[shep88ner]

mythical, by the time 2 and a half weeks pass it will have been 3 weeks. this happened monday afternoon. so i have my calendar marked, the second 3 weeks is here we're going to test

[Mythical_Suicide]

OH sorry I missed that. Keep us posted!

[shep88ner]

OH sorry I missed that. Keep us posted!

 

its ok, and i will. i'll proabably be her every hour with a new question or concern. im not trying to be annoying, im just so nervous and one way to help me settle down is to find out more and more about the situation and try to understand it all better. for every post ive put on here i proabably have an hour of internet research...it's sad i know, but it's kind of a life changing event, i want to be educated ya know?

[Mythical_Suicide]

OH I totally understand. I got pregnant with my son when I was 16 and I freaked out the entire time. It's not something to take lightly i'm just glad you two are stepping up to the plate and taking all steps to prevent this in the future that you can. SHows you two have a mature relationship.

[Katiebaby]

Hey shepp hope u and ur girlfriend are okay.

 

The EXACT same thing happened to my fella and i when i was 19 and he was 20.

When we had finished, and he pulled out, it was like the whole top of the condom had blown off!! and the rest was all crumples around the base of his penis, same as you. We PANICED!!! So i showered and cleaned myself up, and we whent down to the chemist who gave me the 'morning after pill' I was crying and sick and i was expecting to start bleeding because its supposed to (pardon me) 'clean everything out'

 

Well nothing happened for a whole week and a bit, then i finally got a period. it was all patchy and weird but i was fine so i know EXACTLY how you feel. But if she's feeling a little 'off colour' maybe its a reaction to the plan B. The one I took made me vomit, i had the sweats fainting, dizzy and NASTY cramps etc. It's a pretty full on pill... remember its supposed to be reversing what her body thinks it should be doing (getting the baby real estate ready) but the plan B is saying 'Demolition Time!!'

 

We're still together, and sex is back to normal, but yeah it made sex a little scary for a little while... we had the pill, condoms, AND pulling out when he was 'ready to 'go'' but yeah. it makes you safer, and at least you know for next time what to do. The doc also told me something... the earlier you take it the more effective it is. and like u, i took it in like half an hour. The worst thing is not knowing... i wanted to go to the docs straight away!!!

 

*Advice for future* Turns out we were using regular condoms, you may need a larger size. Turns out he did. and also, if you need to, or when u and ur girlfriend are BOTH ready to start having sex again, use a little water based lube. Rubber latex can only take so much friction before it breaks. (learned that the hard way too)

 

I just wanna wish you all the best, please let us know how you go, and please, make sure she knows that you're there for her no matter what. Sounds like you really love her. make sure she knows it

 

Luv Kate

[Aleadragonhawk]

The effectiveness of Plan B does depend a lot on when you take it. It's been proven to be effective up to five days after unprotected sex, though the package information recommends use for only up to three days after. It will work better the sooner you take it, and if taken within 24 hours, the rate of effectiveness is 90+%. As far as rates of pregnancy from unprotected sex, the FDA places it at 85%.

 

Your girlfriend stressing out can result in delaying her period, and the hormones in the plan B can make things weird, so just be sure to take a pregnancy test 10-14 days after you had the risk to calm both of your minds. It might be easier on you than waiting for her period, especially when there are so many factors outside of her normal irregularity that can postpone it.

 

Oh, a quick edit. Part of your problem with condom breakage might be because you aren't using a lubricant, or because the lubricant you are using may not be condom compatible. Also make sure that you don't store condoms in hot/cold places (keeping one in your wallet is a BAD idea). Make sure to check expiration dates, and consider switching to a different brand of condom. You can look on the 'net and find a study consumer report did that'll show you which condoms tested as most effective.

[shep88ner]

Well nothing happened for a whole week and a bit, then i finally got a period. it was all patchy

 

so if she has spotty bleeding in the next week or so to follow, is this something to be worried about? she isnt due to get her period until around the beginning of the month. so im always worried that she wont really get her period, just little bloody spots, which would frighten me like crazy.

 

so is spotty bleeding a good sign or bad sign?

[shep88ner]

 

Oh, a quick edit. Part of your problem with condom breakage might be because you aren't using a lubricant, or because the lubricant you are using may not be condom compatible. Also make sure that you don't store condoms in hot/cold places (keeping one in your wallet is a BAD idea). Make sure to check expiration dates, and consider switching to a different brand of condom. You can look on the 'net and find a study consumer report did that'll show you which condoms tested as most effective.

 

 

Yea, we have never used any lubricant at all. usually we dont need it. but we havnt had sex in a long time so she was tighening up. and we also do this thing usually that's pretty irresponsible and stupid, but i put it in first without the condom, then pull out when it's close. THEN i put the condom on and proceed to go back in and then that's when we really get into it and dont have to worry about any "opps". so what i think happened was that i put it in then pulled back out, then i put the condom on. when i put it back in she was REALLY tight and i had to push pretty hard to get it in. my penis was probably still wet from being inside her so it was sliding around inside the condom a lot. and when there was a lot of resistance becase she was tight, my penis probably slid to the top and pushed on the top REALLY hard until it just finally broke through.

[Katiebaby]

Hey hun... no offence but if you had to push REALLY hard to get it in, she prob wasnt wet enough and you may have even hurt her... it's imperitive that u use lube in that sich...

 

thats why ur condom broke. not enough lube... and thats why it happened to me im pretty sure. it can only take so much friction before it gives in and breaks..

 

Also, she wouldn't tighten up thru not having sex for a while. If she felt tight she was not properly aroused... I know cuz me n my man have the similar routine, and when he gets sensitive he'll put a connie on... But i know (from being a girl) that rubber well.. rubs. so he usually had to use some lube. that and when he puts the condom on he wipes his penis with a towel or somethin before putting it on.. just to be safe, AND comfy for him too gotta look after ur big fella! Lol

[Mythical_Suicide]

I definitely would change your "routine" because putting your penis into her without a condom before you cum is still a very bad idea, it's a very rare thing but you can have precum and she can get pregnant that way. Same as STD's the smallest amount of exposure puts you at higher risk. YOu might as well be using the "pull out" method it's just as effective as what you're doing and makes no sense.

 

 

I agree with using the lube, my bf and I use the KY Warming Liquid which you can buy for cheap at any store that sells condoms and it works fine.

[Aleadragonhawk]

The method you're using with condoms right now is ineffective, as there are pregnancy risks from pre-ejaculate - especially if you've ejaculated earlier that day. Mythical's right about the STD risks too. If you haven't already, I suggest that you and your partner get a full battery of STD tests just to make certain that you're both clean. Remember that STD's can come through oral sex as well as vaginal/anal, so don't assume that just because your partner was a virgin that they can't have an STD.

 

As far as lube goes, sorry Mythical, but the warming lube you're using is a bad idea. To produce the warming sensation, they use accacia honey - and letting any sugar into the vagina is a very good way to develop a yeast infection. Better to stick to something that doesn't have a chance of getting you sick. Most people recommend Astroglide as a good brand - I'm glycerin intolerant, so my partner and I use silicone based lubricants. And Shep88ner? Wet or not, using lubricant is an important part of condom safety, and it does tend to make intercourse more pleasurable for both parties involved.

[Mythical_Suicide]

Alea, It has been recommended by my gyno, and i'v ebeen using it for a year with no problems so thanks for the advice but no thanks.

[shep88ner]

Hey hun... no offence but if you had to push REALLY hard to get it in, she prob wasnt wet enough and you may have even hurt her... it's imperitive that u use lube in that sich...

 

no, she was plenty wet enough, she's the one that originally initiated the sex to begin with. she was just as wet as she usually is and when it went in there was no pain. she loved it. so i dont know, unless it was just a different angle or something that made it tighter...i dont know

[shep88ner]

has anyone tried "first response" pregancy tests? ive read about them saying you can take them 5 days before your expected period...but then i read quite a few reviews saying that it didnt really work and that it was unreliable. i was going to buy an EPT pregnancy test, which i heard works very well...the only thing is i'll have to wait a little bit longer to use that one...

 

any comments or suggestions?

[Mythical_Suicide]

I used the First Response and a couple of store brands and got the same result a big fat positive wiht my son. Although they(First response) are usually pretty accurate but you can never be 100% when testing so early, especially considering you said her periods are so off. I'd just wait until the date you planned and do it then. I know the suspense and wait is killer but it's best to wait a few extra days and have a real result instead of a false one.

[shep88ner]

ive read from some posts on here about people testing 3-4 times and getting negatives when it was actually a positive, even with EPT. i read EPT was about 99% accurate...but according to these posts its really not that accurate at all...what's up with that?

[Mythical_Suicide]

Some people get a positive earlier than others, I've known girls who had tested AFTER they miss their period and still test negative but go in to get a blood test and test positive. Everyone is different.

Just a word of advice foryour gf, buy the test and take it at the first pee of the morning in other words as soon as she wakes up she needs to go to the bathroom. That usually gives the best results.

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

Please get her on the pill!

 

Its awesome - if you are in a committed relationship you can just do it whenever, wherever, and the right one can mean she has no PMS whatsoever, ever again.

[scarew]

First response can produce false negatives. But I dont think it really shows false positives. So its up to you if you want to test it. I used to test WAAAAAAY earlier than I knew a test could show, it helped me cope somehow. If you have the money and it will give you some peace of mind, go for it. At least that way if you get a positive or a "half positive" (a really faint line) then you can go to the doc with reasonable grounds to request a blood test. As said above though, make sure u get the first pee of the morning.

 

Just reviewing your dates... you know that a womens menstrual cycle is every 28 days, not every lunar "month", right?

[shep88ner]

First response can produce false negatives. But I dont think it really shows false positives. So its up to you if you want to test it. I used to test WAAAAAAY earlier than I knew a test could show, it helped me cope somehow. If you have the money and it will give you some peace of mind, go for it. At least that way if you get a positive or a "half positive" (a really faint line) then you can go to the doc with reasonable grounds to request a blood test. As said above though, make sure u get the first pee of the morning.

 

Just reviewing your dates... you know that a womens menstrual cycle is every 28 days, not every lunar "month", right?

 

yes, but she has very irregular periods. there is on deffinate date when she is supposed to start. it fluxuates all the time.

 

as for the pregnancy tests. ive ruled out first response. i dont want any false readings or take any chances with it. ive pretty much made up mind on EPT. i'll probably buy the most advanced one or whatever just so i know i have the best.

 

but i read that someone tested 4 times, all came up negative, had their period, then went to the doctor and they said she was 7 weeks pregnant. i'm so cautious about these pregnancy tests now. they seem very shaky to me. how do i know i can trust the test?

[Ellie2006]

Hi there,

If you guys want a result that's foolproof and trustworthy, then the best bet would be to go to a ObGyn (which I understand might not be an option for her at this juncture?) I have heard EPTs are pretty reliable, though.

 

Also, if she is irregular, she may wish to consider taking birth control for those reasons alone; taking the pill can regulate one's cycle.

 

Hope you guys aren't stressing out too much.

Take care.