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THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE - SuperDave71

SuperDave71

By SuperDave71
in Getting Back Together

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macgyver4ever Enthusiast

macgyver4ever

Posted
Posted
Mac, I love hearing you say how good you feel, above all already on day 27!

 

I pray I feel the same way in that many days

 

This is my forth try to make it to 30 days. It's been over 2.5 months since we broke up. It's been hard. I feel great when I'm talking to this new girl, but when I'm not, like right now, I feel low, and miss my ex. I don't expect this to change for a long time.

 

Stay strong, and know it will get better with time. It really is true.

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The Wheel Rookie

The Wheel

Posted
Posted

Day 13

 

Settling back into the workweek and my other habits (exercising, etc). I'm still maintaining steam from the trip. I don't think about her as much.

 

I'm getting over the addiction that a relationship can instill (ie, other person = happiness) and am seeing the world through a clearer lens. There's something to be said for clarity. Does it mean I'm over her? No, of course not, but the severity of those initial raw emotions is finally subsiding. I don't like to think of it as moving on so much as moving forward. I neither know nor want to know what she's up to. Ignorance is bliss, and in this case it's doing wonders toward making me feel better.

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Tshwane Contributor

Tshwane

Posted
Posted

Day 37 - Really a hard day, spoke to her friend yesterday(had to collect a book). She tried to get me to talk about her("how are you holding up e.t.c"), i didn't budge and said nothing about her or relating to her.

 

But i really miss her today, thought of calling a few times.

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papalazarou Community Regular

papalazarou

Posted
Posted
This is my forth try to make it to 30 days. It's been over 2.5 months since we broke up. It's been hard. I feel great when I'm talking to this new girl, but when I'm not, like right now, I feel low, and miss my ex. I don't expect this to change for a long time.

 

Stay strong, and know it will get better with time. It really is true.

 

 

Its only natural mate. I still miss my ex...from time to time now not all the time like I did at first....

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Krisnakay Rookie

Krisnakay

Posted
Posted

Day(20ish)

 

We agreed to avoid eachother at work...now he is TAUNTING ME.He goes out of his way to be around me when he really doesnt need to.He stares at me constantly and tho it doesn't matter I want to know WHY?AND yell STOP LOOKING AT ME!One of his best friends came to me a couple of days ago and and said that He (dumper) still wants to be friends and that he's not mad at me...I said mad at ME?why should he be??I would really like to @$(#)(*()*$#)%*)#(*$()#*@)(*$)(&*#&%^#(*()*#)(*$()URGGGGGG!

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macgyver4ever Enthusiast

macgyver4ever

Posted
Posted

Day 28

 

Things are still great. This new girl is simply amazing. She's more than I could have ever asked for in a woman, and more. As hard as it is to not meet her, and hold her in my arms for another 3 months, I know it is for the best. If she was here with me now, things would be going WAY, WAY too fast. 1000 miles and a 3 hour times difference helps to slow things up a bit.

 

Ex who?

 

Today I feel: Great!!!

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acousticlayla Rookie

acousticlayla

Posted
Posted

Today makes it a month of NC for me. It hasn't been very hard since he hasn't tried to contact me at all anyway. We have one class together every day, but I just ignore him. Won't even look in his direction. He has told other people that this upsets him, but frankly I can't bring myself to care. I don't even really notice whether he is there or not anymore.

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UnderBear Apprentice

UnderBear

Posted
Posted

After 3 weeks of LC (meaning some text messages initiated by her, and a phone call from her to me, all concerning practicalities), I now believe I should get on the NC train with you guys.

 

I just have to admit, THIS SCARES THE LIVING * * * * OUT OF ME!

 

So, this is day 1 then.

It's been terrible. First day at work since my breakdown from her leaving. Almost panicked a couple of times, and actually considdered calling her to tell her I miss her. And I haven't even wanted to do that these past 3 weeks, so why today!? I can't find the answer...

 

Feelings today: Scared, alone, panicky

 

In bed now, tomorrow is another day to face.

Let's hope it brings something good, some new possibilities! Good night friends

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The Wheel Rookie

The Wheel

Posted
Posted

Day 14

 

Continuing to shake free of the addiction of the old relationship. I was happy before her and I've been happy since her. Keeping busy is key and the fact that my friends just happen to be constantly introducing me to new girls is just icing on the cake. Confidence is easily rebuilt when you realize you've charmed a few of them.

 

I'll be rolling out today to grill with some buddies, and yeah, they're going to once again introduce me to some new girls.

 

None of this lessens my affection or fondness for my ex, but my life simply must move forward. I can't afford to hang around. We get too little time and it can't be wasted waiting around.

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vimora Explorer

vimora

Posted
Posted

I don't know what day it is, I've lost count. I guess that's a good sign. I'm pretty sure it hasn't been a full 30 NC since I've broken it a couple of times or he has initiated contact. I regret every single time that I caved- it's like I heard SuperDave but had no self-control to stop it. But I think it's going on three weeks now on this last NC attempt tho (yay, me...)

Some days are great- I feel like I've really moved forward. Somedays, like today are not so good. I posted somewhere that i was letting go, but I guess I haven't since I have these setbacks. I still want him to contact me- why? to see if he's truly moved on and has let go of me. But I'm afraid of what I'll find out. The biggest difference now is that I can't for sure say anymore if I'd get back into a relationship with him. Hindsight has shown me that our relationship was going downhill (both our faults) and we were just in denial about it.

 

Question: After this break-up I was finally able to let go of a previous break-up, completely and totally. So was this relationship just a 2 and a half year rebound? I'm sure now that not letting go of that past relationship helped to poison this one. But I did love him. I waited only about two months before the last long relationship and this one. I think it's time to be on my own now.

 

It's been a little over 3 months since I was dumped.

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p_fred Apprentice

p_fred

Posted
Posted

Mac,

 

Those seem to be some long phone conversations... take things slow, remember you have to find YOU again first before moving on to another person. I'm not sure you should be spending so many hours talking on the phone, maybe just once or twice a week to start. You need to be happy on your own first before getting involved with someone else... try for 60 days NC now

 

I think I'm past 30 days NC, actually from my side for sure. She did show up about a month ago at a lounge where some friends and I were hanging out but we didn't speak to each other. Haven't heard from her since and I'm okay with that. I need my space and I'm happy again. Threw out some music that I started listening to when we were together and am listening to MY music collection again. I like it much better

 

To everyone else out there.. delete any profiles and accounts you have online. Go live life in the real world and start talking to random strangers in real life they are much more interesting than reading blogs and comments on myspace/friendster.

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Rosie007 Explorer

Rosie007

Posted
Posted

Chocolate Cake,

 

I recommend you re-read the NC Challenge Rules --

 

Rule #2 states don't go to his myspace

 

Rule #6 states don't respond to your ex unless it's an emergency or unless children are involved

 

 

I'm at DAY 80 and it still is like a lightning bolt through my veins when I've logged onto one of my instant messaging accounts to peek and see if he's online -- and that's without having any contact whatsoever. I can only imagine how looking at his myspace would impact me. And I can only imagining how it's not helping you ... especially at three days NC.

 

Make two tight fists with your hands , then open your palms face up and imagine yourself letting him go. Perhaps metaphorically, if you're not holding on to him so tightly, giving yourselves some space will help calm your hearts, and see each other clearly again.

 

If he still loves you, that's great. Let him be. Give him a chance to miss you (30 days is an excellent amount of time to do that), to feel how much he hates it if you're not there.

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macgyver4ever Enthusiast

macgyver4ever

Posted
Posted

DAY 29

 

I felt great yesterday. I few low point where I missed my ex, but for the most part I have been well. p_fred, you are probably right. Talking 3-4 hours on the phone each night is too much, but I've never felt anything like this. At least we cannot be physical in any way, which helps slow things down, and I can already feel the emotions wearing down a bit. I'm going to be busy this weekend, and have plans to hang out with friends again.

 

I want to take it slow, even though things have gone very fast to this point. Hopefully we can talk about it soon. Being out will prevent me from talking to her much for the next few days. I also need to get on a regular sleeping schedule.

 

 

Today I feel: Tired, Happy, Confident, Determined, and 1 day away!!!

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macgyver4ever Enthusiast

macgyver4ever

Posted
Posted
Well...I think my no contact will be broken on her B Day...I am just going to send her flowers in August. Just to let her know I have not forgotten her.

 

Nope.

No you won't. We've all been through this. You probably will not care by that time, and what message are flowers sending. "Hey, I'm not moving on and am not over you" A strong person like yourself doesn't want to show that.

 

You have MONTHS to think about this, so don't plan on anything. I planned, and then felt like I failed because I did not follow through.

 

Make plans for yourself. This summer will be great. You're single and there is an amazing world to explore. Focus on yourself, and not what you might do for your ex in 4 months. I doubt your new girlfriend will like it if you sent you ex flowers!!!

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solarplexus Rookie

solarplexus

Posted
Posted

Hi Superdave,

 

Hope you are fine. I feel great after 30 days of NC. Broke it and made the closure. Now feeling even better. For the past week I feel I am happy old me again. And you helped me a lot, also many people who contributed my treads.

 

Back to NC again but now without challenge. I am not even counting now. This NC might get a bit longer. May be 3-4 years

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