ExarionUniverse19 Posted March 27, 2007 Share Posted March 27, 2007 OK, that's it. I'm going to take the challenge now. At first, I didn't want to because I thought I could get through this anyway... but after a rough Monday, I've decided to start full NC. I'm sick of having to question her every move when I see her. I'm sick of speculating what she could be doing, since she isn't on her favorite website anymore (yes, I've been "tracking" her online whereabouts). I may have my good days, where I feel optimistic, but then come the bad days... and I'm sick of having them. Time to start the No Contact Challenge! Tomorrow will be Day 1... and my goals will be: 1) NO checking up on her internet whereabouts 2) NO looking/searching for her while at school 3) NO talking about this with anyone except my parents and everyone at eNotAlone 4) NO excessive thinking about it. This will be the toughest, but I'll try... 5) NO looking at pictures/past emails/anything that reminds me of our past together Yep, it's on now. A true, 30 day NC challenge... but I think it will help me to post here every day instead of worrying about posting in other topics to try and get the help I need. It will help track my thoughts too. I've already tried NC for the strict purpose of getting her back... but NO MORE of that! I don't want to care about her anymore... she's missing out and that's just too bad... I'll find other means of happiness! So... here we go! Link to comment
Rosie007 Posted March 27, 2007 Share Posted March 27, 2007 Welcome aboard, ExarionUniverse19. Your plan sounds like a fine one. You might want to take a look at "The Break-up Rules" I noted on Sounds like you and I share some online tracking / looking at pic issues, and the Break-up Rules that I found on iVillage in their "Love & Sex / Common Problems / Breaking Up / Getting over It" section really helped me use some other guidelines -- above and beyond NC -- that have helped me a lot. I'm on Day 42, getting ambushed by some old feelings to look at his pictures, track him online again, but I know that will only serve to torture me, and thus far I haven't succumbed to the temptation ... as much as my twisted internal tormentor is couraging me to. I know better than to breaking a winning streak when I'm having one. In fact, I haven't given into any of those temptations since I took the challenge. I love him, I miss him, I want him, but I'm not going to contact him. If he doesn't contact me first to say: "I am soooo sorry. I made a terrible mistake. I want us to get back together. I can't live without you. I didn't realize how much I love you until I thought I might lose you. I'll do anything to prove my love." Now I'm going to go to sleep because I reckon the only time and place that is going to happen is .... in my dreams And if you read about some of the lousy treatment I underwent, that dream would probably turn into a nightmare. Link to comment
ahhh2jz Posted March 27, 2007 Share Posted March 27, 2007 Day 82 NC - that number looks big; and it seems to be closing in on day 100 really soon. I am feeling a lot better; but Sunday nights seem to be the toughest thus far; most of my dips seem to happen around that time or in the evenings as a matter of fact. Link to comment
MasterT Posted March 27, 2007 Share Posted March 27, 2007 Day 32 Been a very busy day! I've been running around dealing with registration for next semester. Got an excellent workout today -- Ran a mile, did some weight lifting for my legs (And I matched my exercise partners weight and all but 1 exercise!! I'm proud of myself! He doesn't look strong, but he really is.), and did about 30 minutes of racquet ball. Overall, I got a great workout, and I felt great afterwards. Today's been pretty awesome... 2 girls in my dorm that normally don't talk to me smiled at me and said "hi" today. Then there was a girl at the gym who kept staring at me while I was talking to my friend waiting for the leg press machine... Don't know if I'd want to jump into dating again yet, but man it makes me feel good. Link to comment
Tshwane Posted March 27, 2007 Share Posted March 27, 2007 Day 3 - I've started NC, though i won't reach 30 days since on the 30th day it will be her birthday, i will aim for 29 days. When the day comes i'll just text to wish her well and the next day start from day 1 again. For now,im taking it one day at a time. Link to comment
solarplexus Posted March 27, 2007 Share Posted March 27, 2007 I am in. Last contact was on Friday. Now its my 4th day of NC. Hi everyone. If anyone of you are interested in my background with my ex the thread is below. I have agreed to stay friends with her but realized that it does not do any good for me. I am working on The Perfect Plan - Mach II. Now i want to go NC but I am sure that she will text and call me and finally will be angry if do I not respond. At the same time I do not want her to think that i have dumped her as a friend. I decided that I do not want want her to know that I am going NC, because I do not want her to know that I am still emotionly weak about the breakup. I feel that telling her that I am going NC and asking her to respect it and not to contact me seems to me like asking a favour from her. Ok NC is for us not for them. But I know that I will feel stronger and better if I do not show her that I am still weak about her. Is it too rude to go to NC without informing her? Need some advice on that. Link to comment
honeyspur Posted March 27, 2007 Share Posted March 27, 2007 I love him, I miss him, I want him, but I'm not going to contact him. If he doesn't contact me first to say: "I am soooo sorry. I made a terrible mistake. I want us to get back together. I can't live without you. I didn't realize how much I love you until I thought I might lose you. I'll do anything to prove my love." ROCK ON ROSIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Link to comment
MasterT Posted March 27, 2007 Share Posted March 27, 2007 Congratulations Dan!!! Welcome to the winners circle! Link to comment
macgyver4ever Posted March 27, 2007 Share Posted March 27, 2007 CONGRATS DAN! You're an inspiration to me. Keep on going!!! Day 7 It's been a week since I talked to her. I feel ok, but still think about her. I still love her but the feelings are much less intense. Time seems to be doing the trick, but today is the 6 week mark since the break up, and the last time we have seen each other. I have been reading that it takes 6 weeks for the human body to really miss someone, and for it to really set in. I felt it last night. It was overwhelming at times, the need to see and touch my ex. I hope she is feeling the same right now, but I'm sure if she does, she will just go touch her new coworker bf. No word on the girl I met this weekend. I hope to get her number soon. Today I feel: Tired, Confident, Sad, and Overwhelmed. Link to comment
Wotgorilla Posted March 27, 2007 Share Posted March 27, 2007 Thanks! Hang in there mac, it will get better! I'm here for you man! Dan on LI. Link to comment
kate111 Posted March 27, 2007 Share Posted March 27, 2007 It's been approximately 2 months. Today I had a faint glimmer that maybe the ex won't come back and maybe, just maybe, I might be ok with that. I'd be sad but i'd be ok. This is the first time I have not clung to hope. I wonder if this feeling will be fleeting. Link to comment
solarplexus Posted March 27, 2007 Share Posted March 27, 2007 Kate you are not even counting the days. You have already reached the critical point. Keep going. I am after you Link to comment
kate111 Posted March 27, 2007 Share Posted March 27, 2007 I never really counted the days. I'm not much of a counting person. I don't like numbers much. Trust me, as Superdave and others will tell you, I am not at the critical point. No contact IS helping though. Link to comment
solarplexus Posted March 27, 2007 Share Posted March 27, 2007 Kate, we most of the dumpees are in quite a labile mode. Yes we are not sure what we will feel and do by tomorrow. But the challenge gets smaller each day. Well if we want to make them a small point in our life. Link to comment
ahhh2jz Posted March 27, 2007 Share Posted March 27, 2007 Day 83 NC - doing good; school is getting hectic Link to comment
ILoveMyself Posted March 28, 2007 Share Posted March 28, 2007 my girlfriend of 4 years broke up with me 2 months ago, needless to explain anything what happened to me after that because if you are here you already know all the pains. I was without food for 6-8 days.I cried,begged,did everything I could to get her back.I felt abbandoned,neglected and what not. for atleast 1 month the first thought that came to my mind when i woke up every morning was her, I started every single day of mine crying in the bed. Anyways things were pretty bad as hell until I started NC In beginning I picked her phone once or twice after she gave me like 8 to 10missed call spontaniously.Since I still care about her I picked up her phone only to find out that she needs ride or she wants to know about class exams and stuff which we have together. I realized that this is doing no good to me so I decided the complete NC. Since last 1 month I have completely shut down all contacts and dont even look at her when we are in class.But couldnt stop myself thinking about her. I started working out, and eating good and I feel the most confident ever I was told by a friend that she started a LDR after brakup. The only confusion right now I have is she keeps calling me almost evryday even when I dont entertain her calls.She now call me hiding her number. I know its her and dont pick up the phone, She never leaves a voice mail and even if she does She would just say " I have to ask you something, please call when you get time." What should I do??? I am a little confused, I am at a point where I feel that I dont want to get back with her at all. I know I am wrong to think that but I have a feeling that if I continue NC, this may lead her to start hating me and thinking of me as a jerk and bad person Am I thinking too much I want you guys to throw some light on this matter Link to comment
Rosie007 Posted March 28, 2007 Share Posted March 28, 2007 Day 43 NC I feel like I'm backsliding and I don't know why. I think I need some sense talked into me. Today's thoughts (rationalizations? justifications? ... for unhealthy behavior, that is) about maybe I should contact him "just to say" ... 1. In case you have abandonment issues, you do know that I'm in love with you and will welcome your contact to say you want me (only me!) back so we can start a proper relationship. Gosh as soon as I started trying to write why it would make sense for me to contact him, every argument sounds nuts. For hours I've been mulling over a multitude of reasons of why I might want to contact him. Now, I can think of a single sound thing to say. Don't know if that's because writing really shines a spotlight on illogical thoughts. I worked 12.5 hours today and i'm out of gas. I have a pounding headache and I can't think straight. I'm exausted. Please remind me why I shouldn't contact him now? Apart from the fact that I know it's only going to hurt. Please tell my why he's not the only guy for me. Please tell me why nothing good of it will come if I contact him to see what's he's been thinking ... IF he's been thinking about me at all. And can somebody tell me why I never considered breaking NC until now, when I have 43 days. That just doesn't make sense!!!!! Link to comment
solarplexus Posted March 28, 2007 Share Posted March 28, 2007 Rosie, "We most of the dumpees are in quite a labile mode. Yes we are not sure what we will feel and do by tomorrow. But the challenge gets smaller each day." Even if your ex is a dumb person, he would understand the meaning of your NC. Of course he is thinking about you. But he has to have his own courage to call and turn back to you. If he does not has this than it is your win. So you are on the right path. Link to comment
solarplexus Posted March 28, 2007 Share Posted March 28, 2007 Day 5. Well it seems that it will be easy for now Link to comment
macgyver4ever Posted March 28, 2007 Share Posted March 28, 2007 Day 8 I did well yesterday until last night. I've been in extreme agony missing my ex and feeling the pain of what she has done. The heartbreak is so raw right now. It leaves me feeling depressed, desperate, and lethargic. I have an interview today, and it took me almost an hour to pull myself out of bed. I feel like crying and crawling into a hole. The interview is 2 blocks from my ex's work, and I will have to walk past her building while she will be leaving for lunch. I hope I don't run into her and the new boy. The girl I met this weekend has started seeing someone, so I couldn't get her number. I'll keep trying to talk to her when I see her, but for now that spark in my life is gone. My downstairs neighbor was having loud sex with this girlfriend, and it made me fully realize that my ex is having sex with someone else. I'm crying as I write this. I feel so empty right now. Today I feel: Depressed, Empty, Sad, Defeated, and Alone. Link to comment
Wandering_Sword Posted March 28, 2007 Share Posted March 28, 2007 Try posting this in a separate thread, you might get some more responses to your queries. Anyhoo, did you tell her you were going NC in the first place or did you just start it? Link to comment
SuperDave71 Posted March 28, 2007 Author Share Posted March 28, 2007 Mac, I am here if you need to vent..... -SuperDave71 Link to comment
Rosie007 Posted March 28, 2007 Share Posted March 28, 2007 SuperDave, Any advice for me? I'm struggling. -Rosie Link to comment
Wotgorilla Posted March 28, 2007 Share Posted March 28, 2007 I am so sorry you're having such a hard time. I really am, my heart goes out to you. Try to stay on the bright side. Focus on the interview, and good luck with that! Tell us how it goes. Next time your downstairs neighbor "disturbs the peace" like that, disturb right back with loud music! The emptiness will go away, I promise. Take care of yourself, treat yourself well, better things are around the corner! Dan on Long Island. Link to comment
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