MasterT Posted March 23, 2007 Share Posted March 23, 2007 Day 29! Nearly at the 30 day mark! Woke up this morning alright, then felt kinda crappy for a little while, but I'm alright again, and feeling good! As silly as it sounds, when I watch funny cartoons I feel so much better. I did that most of yesterday night, and I felt great! I was laughing again, and wow did I do a lot of it. Thanks SuperDave for your latest thread btw. Was rather useful in refocusing myself with NC. Link to comment
macgyver4ever Posted March 23, 2007 Share Posted March 23, 2007 Day 3 BAH!!! Yesterday was awful. The one time I am super struggling and I needed to read some stuff on ENA, it's down. I was forced to go to other forums, and I learned nothing of use. Talking to my ex finally wore on me yesterday. I was a mess. I ended up calling her mom to brag about the 2 interviews I have next week, and found out my ex is moving out in the next week. Not sure why that stung so much, but it did. Guess I just knew she would be sexing it up with her new BF all the time now. Not a fun feeling, and I know Superdave, it is none of my business and I shouldn't torture myself thinking about it. I'll get over it. Lots of crying and moping yesterday and last night. I read the "Moment of Zen" posts and felt better for some reason. This cute girl gave me her number yesterday. Someone I would normally would think is out of my league, but she says we have too much in common to not see where this goes. Even that didn't make me feel better. Ironically, the exact moment I started to feel better, like the void in my heart was gone, was when she wrote me back in the middle of the night. It was either that or the alcohol. I feel a little better today, and am going to bust my butt to get my head on straight before the weekend so I can make out with strange girls and feel guilt-free about it. Today I Feel: Sad, Lonely, Upset, Depressed, yet Determined. Link to comment
Wotgorilla Posted March 23, 2007 Share Posted March 23, 2007 Hang in there mac, just take care of you, have a good weekend, and remember that it will get better! Dan on LI. Link to comment
Scrembledeggs Posted March 23, 2007 Share Posted March 23, 2007 I'm trying to catch up at work after being away all week (the trip was incredible), so this will be a brief one for me... This should be a very interesting weekend indeed: -Got back from my trip around 1:15 AM, in to work on time this morning...aka 4 hours of sleep. -Going to a potentially ridiculous party tonight, and really looking forward to it. -Meeting with my ex tomorrow afternoon(!!) We're planning to get coffee or a late lunch or rent a movie or SOMETHING to catch up, and exchange some things that we were still holding on to. It was weird speaking to her yesterday...so familiar and natural that it made the last month seem like it never happened. She was friendly and 'herself'. She misses me. She's looking forward to this meeting. She didn't call me because I (rather angrily and emotionally) told her not to, back on Valentine's Day. I fumbled over my words a little bit, but it didn't seem to faze her. I did not accuse or beg or suggest or anything like that. Anyway, now I have a million thoughts going through my head about what to expect tomorrow. Basically, I'm going into this not expecting much. If I find that I'm not ready for "friends" or whatever this comes out to, I feel like another month (or however long it takes) of No Contact will be easier this time around, as I now know what to expect. I'm keeping the mindset that the worst case scenario will find us unable to look each other in the eye, and result in a brief, horribly awkward encounter, possibly the same old fights and problems from a month and a half ago. Middle of the road will be a mature, amicable, mutual closure to our relationship, with hopes to be friends sometime down the road when we're both ready. Best case scenario...we click, plan to see each other again sometime soon and take it from there. Who knows if this is a good idea or a terrible one. I have to find out, and I feel like the blow of the worst case scenario will not hit me nearly as hard as it would have a few weeks ago. I think I'm ready to face her again, be myself, and just basically see what happens. I think (I hope) I am prepared for anything. For now, the potentially ridiculous party is priority #1. Haha. I'll deal with tomorrow, tomorrow, and keep y'all filled in as to what happens. Best of luck to everyone who is still counting away the days. I may be back to day 1 come Sunday...who knows... Link to comment
macgyver4ever Posted March 23, 2007 Share Posted March 23, 2007 -Going to a potentially ridiculous party tonight, and really looking forward to it. -Meeting with my ex tomorrow afternoon(!!) Mr. Eggs!!! Welcome back my Friend! You were missed. A lot has changed, we'll have to catch up. Have fun at the party tonight, and don't let the impending "date" prevent you from meeting any lovely ladies!!! Good luck with your ex. I hope it goes well, and know that whatever does happen, will be for the best. You're good people, and deserve great things. Take Care and Have Fun!!! MK Link to comment
SuperDave71 Posted March 23, 2007 Author Share Posted March 23, 2007 I could not agree more Macgyver.... SuperDave71 Link to comment
Ottersmom Posted March 24, 2007 Share Posted March 24, 2007 Hi all, I hope everyone is doing fine on this spring night. Well, my ex emailed me out of the blue to wish me Happy Birthday ( although it's actually next week) Included in his birthday wish is yet ANOTHER apology for hurting me, and telling me he has only "good thoughts and feelings about me" He has apologized for 3 months. I have kept NC for 70 + days. The breakup occurred in November. OK people....do I reply? I guess I should say he broke it off with me because we became involved immediately after he ended a 29 year marriage. We were together 18 months....intense. He always said he couldn't commit right now...his wife was the only woman he had ever known...until me. But I know this man....it took a lot for him to make contact. He does not do anything lightly. Seriously, he probably thought about this for a month before he wrote. So... my heart did not go thump when I saw his message. More like hmmmmm......but I'm not sure. Advice?? Link to comment
lady00 Posted March 24, 2007 Share Posted March 24, 2007 Hmm...I don't know if NC is really the way to go here. On the one hand, he says he wasn't ready to commit...which is understandable given his situation. On the other hand he has been falling over himself apologizing about it all. It seems like he really cares for you. Sometimes ability to commit is really about timing. Often, unfortunately, it's about not wanting to be with a particular person. In your case, it might really about the timing. Have you considered having a conversation with him about it and what each of you wants for the future? Link to comment
sweetharmony Posted March 24, 2007 Share Posted March 24, 2007 Hi Ottersmom, I would say that since he's been apologizing for three months, you should contact him. I can imagine how difficult it is for both of you...i can see his point of view, esp. since he was in a 29 yr marraige. He still has a lot of risidual feelings left over. I would take it slow...don't jump right back into the relationship, but keep the lines of communication open so that when he has healed from his divorce, and you from the relationship, the two of you can start anew. But the ? is, is he ready to start again yet? take it slow...and see what happens. it sounds like he really wants to be with you and is making an effort. I don't think that every ex needs to PROVE themselves to try again. That's a lot for one person to promise...esp. if there were issues that prevented the relationship from both sides. he truly cares. good luck and keep us posted! Link to comment
rsxguy520 Posted March 24, 2007 Share Posted March 24, 2007 day 76..sorry gotta make this fast..im camping out to buy jordans. lol. pretty much kept myself busy, wash car, worked out, eat, sleep, 70's show..and yeah....i'm excited im moving out on sunday. school starts monday! woohoo! anyways i'll post later! Link to comment
Tshwane Posted March 24, 2007 Share Posted March 24, 2007 I haven't been able to maintain NC, tonight im going to this comedy show where i might see her, she knows i'll be there so if she doesnt call me i'll try not to call her. I've thought a lot the past few days and have decided that NC is best for me. I won't call this day one yet but i'm planning on starting on a clean slate today or tomorrow and hopefully get better. I've done it before so i know i can do it. Thanks to Superdave and all of you, your strengths and stories are really inspiring. Link to comment
andy5128 Posted March 24, 2007 Share Posted March 24, 2007 Right I'm in, Keep doing NC half heartedly and then regret it when I email or something a week or so after doing so well. So as from Today Sat 24th March im on NC and it's now in her hands if she wants to get in touch.. Link to comment
lady00 Posted March 24, 2007 Share Posted March 24, 2007 Day 5 of LC. Things are going well here. Good luck to everyone. Link to comment
MasterT Posted March 24, 2007 Share Posted March 24, 2007 Day 30. So I've finally hit the 30 day mark Timing was pretty good, because there is a big dorm party being held today in the plaza outside of the dorms... Anyways, I will be posting in a separate thread my thoughts on the 30 days. Thank you SuperDave71, Gipper, and everyone else who contributed to my healing. I still have plenty of work to do, so I will be counting on you guys Link to comment
Wotgorilla Posted March 24, 2007 Share Posted March 24, 2007 And we'll be here for you MasterT! Dan on LI Link to comment
Ottersmom Posted March 24, 2007 Share Posted March 24, 2007 Hi all, Thanks for the response to my post from last night. But I'm an idiot! I ommitted one huge fact....when we broke up he told me he had met someone who was very "compatible" I didn't know we weren't. I guess it was all the talking, snuggling, sleeping, laughing, traveling and kissing we did that fooled me. Anyway, that is a big factor to me. There was someone else. Which mystifies me more....why the contact and apologies now? And it is actually going on 5 months (from Nov 7) He had met her 2 months before we broke up, so I assumed they were very involved by now. GRRRRRRRRRR...I'm sick of thinking about it. Trust me, NC does work! I realized I have come a long way when I read his email. Time to walk the dog....Thanks all....and hang in there! Link to comment
macgyver4ever Posted March 24, 2007 Share Posted March 24, 2007 Congrats MasterT! You're My Hero! I've failed to meet the 30 days twice now, but during that time I have seen you grow and learn so much. It's amazing, and you should be proud of yourself. We all are!!! Stay strong and keep going. However this turns out for the both of us, it will be for the best. Look at who we've become!! Day 4 So I almost had my moment of Zen. I'll post it there as well, but I figured I would share it with the group. I was laying in bed, thinking about this sweet southern gal who gave me her number this week. I suddenly had a flash into the future, when my ex is going to call me back crying because she realizes what she has done. I was past her, and my feelings for her were no longer of admiration and love, but that this was a sweet, sniveling little brat. I told her that I needed more time apart, and she did too. She needed to learn more about herself, on her own. It felt so real and so good. I hope I really get to this point, and just know that feeling gives me hope. I did well last night. I worked out a little while watching Blood Diamond. It was pretty lame. I'm getting into really good shape. Starting to fill out my skinny frame. I'm impressed with myself!! Tonight I am going clubbing for the first time ever!! It is a close friends birthday party, and there should be lots of ladies. I'm going to be so confident and liqoured up that they will not resist my charm!!! Here's to tonight! I'm also going to call the southern gal in just a few! Wish me luck! Today I feel: Happy, Upbeat, Confident, Excited, and Determined!!! Yippee! Link to comment
MasterT Posted March 24, 2007 Share Posted March 24, 2007 Thanks Dan and Mac! I read your post on air drumming Dan, and I think that is awesome. Now that's something to emulate. Awesome. Mac, thanks! Hey I broke NC twice before I got it right. You won't find those posts here, because I started the NC approach before I even knew about the challenge, but let me tell you, the third time is a charm! Good luck on the new girl by the way! I wish you the best of luck, and I know you'll complete the NC challenge this time Just remember SuperDave is watching you... and he's got lots of duct tape.... Link to comment
ahhh2jz Posted March 24, 2007 Share Posted March 24, 2007 Day 80 NC - doing great; going to a lot of parties and just trying to meet some new people. Link to comment
MasterT Posted March 24, 2007 Share Posted March 24, 2007 In a rather interesting turn of events, my father's friend is setting me up with a girl who lives back at my home town that he knows. She's going to turn 18 very soon. The timing is rather interesting... Right as soon as I hit day 30.... Not to mention the fact that her name is a name I've always had a crazy affinity towards. For some reason or another I've always pictured my ideal girl as having the name Rachel... That's the name of the girl they are trying to set me up with... Spooky. I seriously think the main upstairs (God) has got something planned for me. You'll be hearing from me after I meet her next weekend. Link to comment
Rosie007 Posted March 24, 2007 Share Posted March 24, 2007 Congratulations MasterT! Very happy for you. SadOldMan: Hang in there. This too shall pass. Link to comment
Rosie007 Posted March 25, 2007 Share Posted March 25, 2007 Day 40 This is very odd. I'm having to fight the urge to contact him. It's very disturbing. I heard this line in a movie and I wanted to e-mail it to him: "I finally know what I want -- and that in itself is a miracle -- and what I want is you." Which means I need a reality check. The facts are, Rex doesn't love me. He said that most bluntly during the same IM when he told me he was going to bed another. He never loved me. Not even close. He didn't do special things for me. He only wanted me to do things for him. The only reason he was with me was because of his need for a constant companion, fear of being alone, and his sex drive. I was incidental to his needs. It could just as easily have been someone else instead of me as far as he was concerned. I need to keep a grip on reality. Link to comment
Andy 76 Posted March 25, 2007 Share Posted March 25, 2007 I am completely new to this site, have been reading here a lot in the past couple of days. I too sign up for the NC challenge. I had a great girlfriend that I miss a lot but doing nothing is now the best I can do for me. She was the second person I loved in my life, my first loved past away at 23 after 6 years being together. It took me 7 years to fall in love again. Then I met this girl and gradually fell in love with her. The problem started with 1 year into the relationship, I was truly in love with her but on the other side I started being scared to be hurt again and started introducing threads into our relationships to protect myself in case things would go wrong. 3 weeks ago I moved out because I got upset with my girlfriend and when I wanted to get her back and resolve it she said no. We have been togeher for 1,5 years, planning kids, even bought a house together but then I messed up. My behaviour was affected by the loss of my first big love. I am seeing a therapist to help me understand my actions. Last week when I was moving out the rest of the furniture, my ex left me letter saying she will always love me, I can always count on her support if I need anything and she will be always mine. On the other side she feels this was a right decision and we have to move on. I am hurting of course but I dont see anything else than do NC for me. I did tell her about seeing a therapist to fix/find out why I behaved that way. I will stick around with all of you for a while, it really helps me! Link to comment
Rosie007 Posted March 25, 2007 Share Posted March 25, 2007 Andy ... welcome to the challenge. Sorry to hear about your losses. As for myself, I also want to remind me that it's not a good idea who refused to put on the TV captions when I have a hard time hearing a TV without turning it all the way up, and even then I might have difficulties. I'm fighting the urge to look at his pix, site, etc. Truly disturbing. It will only hurt me ... like pulling the scab off a wound that's starting to heal. And pouring something burny on it. Link to comment
rsxguy520 Posted March 25, 2007 Share Posted March 25, 2007 day 77. woke up super freaking early. 4:30am? lol. picked up some jordans too add to my sneaker collection. right after worked out..krazy stuff huh? less than 4 hrs of sleep, punished my body like no other!?! haha. anyways, i was really tired withing the day, and took a real long nap. washed my cars, and now im getting ready to pack all my stuff. school starts monday. moving in tomorrow. i think this while be my official last everyday post till i settle in at school and yeah. i'll prolly do weekly summaries or something. i enjoying reading a lot of pplz progress. don't give up!!! seriously im at like day 77 of this challenge, but i've been in nC forever lol! and im loving it!!! i promise to those that just started or are on there way, it gets easier, and one it does, then you know its working. for yourself of course!!!! Link to comment
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