Ottersmom

Solarplexus, He wrote all 4 messages between 5 and 7 pm...if that's what you're asking me. He does nothing lightly. I know he ponders everything to death. Not a spontaneous guy. I do feel he's testing the waters, I guess I just don't know if I am ready to take even the slightest chance of feeling that kind of pain again. and lonelydoll...thanks for the input, but a big ego is not his thing. I understand your perspective on this though. You sound like you know your ex well!! Anyway if he's testing the waters....what do I do? Wait for an absolute proclamation of a certain future? Or respond in kind...sort of testing the waters myself?

HE CONTACTED ME, SAID HE MISSES ME, LIKES ME VERY MUCH AND IS SORRY FOR ANY PAIN HE CAUSED....THEN I haven't heard a word in almost a week. I maintained NC for over 75 days, and it was good for me. When he contacted me I waited to respond and was very matter of fact. He said he hadn't been in contact because he thought I didn't want to hear form him. The man broke up with ME!!! Please, men, anybody, what does this mean?? He says those things but has made no mention of wanting to see me. I have only answered 3 emails, telling him point blank it was good for me to be away from him. He writes back that he understands that, and that it was probably good for him too. I hesitate to read anything into all this. But it's enought to make me pull my hair out!!! Does this mean he's still interested? Or what? I'm tempted to email....but I won't I guess I need something more concrete than I like you a lot" " I do miss you" UGH!! why did he contact!

Hi everyone, Well here I was, 73 days in, and boom, an email. An odd email wishing me happy birthday, and a big apology for hurting me and a long sentence saying he only had "good thoughts and feelings" about me. hmmmmm I waited to respond for 2 days, because frankly, I didn't know if I wanted to. But I did and just said surprised to hear fom you, thanks for the birthday wish. To which he immmediately responded that he hadn't written to me because he thought I didn't want him to. OH. I thought it was because he told me we shouldn't date right now and he had met someone more compatible than me. 5 months ago! Well, I wrote back several days later saaying he was right, I hadn't wanted to hear from him, and that it really had nothing to do with him at all. I just did the things that were good for me, and he wasn't one of them. You see he had never wanted to break contact with me. He had said that over and over. But it was an impossible situation to me...to keep writing each other, and not see each other. Ridiculous. Anyway he said he understood the NC. And respected me for it. Then he said he missed me very much, and to let him know if he can still write. SO???? What do I do? I know this may sound like a dream scenario to those of you fresh from a breakup and just starting NC, but let me tell you: NC works!! I have moved far from the place where my heart would have jumped just seeing his email address pop up. I have reservations, even though I do miss him too. He hurt And I'm wary of him. I've gotten so far into taking care of myself, that he just doesn't touch me in the way he used to. Anyway, that's what's happeneing here. A big wish of peace for all of you.

Hi everyone, Perhaps you've followed my posts: I heard form my ex after NC from me. He emailed an early Happy Birthday, and apologized again for hurting me. He said he only had good thoughts and feelings about me. I have to say I found that confusing. We broke up in Nov. He said he wanted to see someone else, and he didn't want to be committed to me. I was devastated. He had been married for 29 years previously. Anyway, the man then emailed me for 3 months after the fact, I kept very LC. Finally I broke it off. It was very good for me to do so. So now the email. I waited 2 days to answer. I didn't address the apology part. Just made a small joke about him having the wrong date and sent it. And how do I feel? A little vulnerable. I don't feel good open to whether this guy will respond or not. But what I did learn, and this is huge, I KNOW I CAN GO BACK TO NC AND BE ALL RIGHT Yup, I have learned to take care of myself thru NC and I feel confident. He writes. he doesn't write, it's OK. I will be all right! And that's what I wanted to share with everybody. You'll get there!

Hi all, Thanks for the response to my post from last night. But I'm an idiot! I ommitted one huge fact....when we broke up he told me he had met someone who was very "compatible" I didn't know we weren't. I guess it was all the talking, snuggling, sleeping, laughing, traveling and kissing we did that fooled me. Anyway, that is a big factor to me. There was someone else. Which mystifies me more....why the contact and apologies now? And it is actually going on 5 months (from Nov 7) He had met her 2 months before we broke up, so I assumed they were very involved by now. GRRRRRRRRRR...I'm sick of thinking about it. Trust me, NC does work! I realized I have come a long way when I read his email. Time to walk the dog....Thanks all....and hang in there!

Hi all, I hope everyone is doing fine on this spring night. Well, my ex emailed me out of the blue to wish me Happy Birthday ( although it's actually next week) Included in his birthday wish is yet ANOTHER apology for hurting me, and telling me he has only "good thoughts and feelings about me" He has apologized for 3 months. I have kept NC for 70 + days. The breakup occurred in November. OK people....do I reply? I guess I should say he broke it off with me because we became involved immediately after he ended a 29 year marriage. We were together 18 months....intense. He always said he couldn't commit right now...his wife was the only woman he had ever known...until me. But I know this man....it took a lot for him to make contact. He does not do anything lightly. Seriously, he probably thought about this for a month before he wrote. So... my heart did not go thump when I saw his message. More like hmmmmm......but I'm not sure. Advice??

Day 67 for me and I'm afraid I don't feel particularly encouragd about it today. Yes NC did help me stay sane, take care of myself, keep my dignity. But it was so hard to start (he finally got to the point where he asked if he could still email me...I wouldn't have to respond, he just wanted to write me!??) I felt like he almost forced me to break up with him. NC was easy in that I didn't want to see him. I knew it would hurt. He moved within a block from my home right before we broke up and I catch a glimpse of him often....it feels bad. But even though I feel stronger, and have taken very good care of myself, I still miss him. Every minute. UGH! When will this end? Sorry if this is discouraging, I don't mean it to be. There is no set time table, I know. Gotta get back to work. All your posts have kept me on the path. Thanks