ahhh2jz Posted January 20, 2007 Share Posted January 20, 2007 aww llamas hang in there alright? i hope you feel better! Day 15 - Dang I can't believe I've lasted this long already; I'm gonna keep going and going. I just got back from hanging out with some friends, then im gonna rest up and head over to a bbq tonight. I didn't really think about her that much, until now when I just got home. I still do miss her, but i was thinking, and there isnt any reason for me to do any work, since she's the one who is going to have to come back. I guess the only work I really have to do is to keep doing NC and keep on journeying on the road to healing. I've been praying constantly for God to help heal me and if it is in His plans, to bring her back for the right reasons, if at all. I'm also praying that God give me the wisdom to know if I should accept her back or not. - i hope all of you are doing great, without this site, and its people NC would be a hell of a lot harder. Link to comment
rsxguy520 Posted January 20, 2007 Share Posted January 20, 2007 update on day15... next much happened really. feeling good still. i think im going to head out to a party tonight, or sit home and watch the 70's marathon? oh well. day16 tomorrow.=) Link to comment
TijuanaJones Posted January 20, 2007 Share Posted January 20, 2007 Hi Rsx! Its freezing here in the San Diego/Tijuana area! I wish I could go out but I have a bad cold... I'll recommend you go out... because you never know... hehehe. I love That 70's show... I gave the first 3 seasons on DVD to my ex on Xmas... to bad I just got to see only like the first 6 episodes before she dumped me hehehe Link to comment
luciand Posted January 20, 2007 Share Posted January 20, 2007 day 8: normal day, but at one point I had a long time to myself. I began to reminisce about everything. I was feeling quite sad about my situation. How could an amazing relationship, with someone you connect so well on all levels, which is reciprocated, at one point gain a huge gaping hole in her sexual attraction to me. I wish I could at least find out what caused this so my stupid curiosity could settle down. Or things returned to the way they were. I overcame these feelings quite quickly, and didn't let them get to me. However, that doesn't mean each time I look back I stare into a gaping chasm. Other than that, I guess I'm doing fine. Pretty normal day, but I'm considering purchasing Guitar Hero II to keep myself even more busy. Link to comment
rsxguy520 Posted January 20, 2007 Share Posted January 20, 2007 Hi Rsx! Its freezing here in the San Diego/Tijuana area! I wish I could go out but I have a bad cold... I'll recommend you go out... because you never know... hehehe. I love That 70's show... I gave the first 3 seasons on DVD to my ex on Xmas... to bad I just got to see only like the first 6 episodes before she dumped me hehehe lol its definitely cold here in cerritos..damn socal weather!!the dvd's are sure worth it hahhah.. Link to comment
elithepi Posted January 20, 2007 Share Posted January 20, 2007 Day 7....although I have no choice anymore. Link to comment
AllTornUp Posted January 20, 2007 Share Posted January 20, 2007 OK, I'm out of town. Trying to stay distracted. Woke up this morning and started thinking about how all her stuff should be out of my house by now... I wish I could turn the thoughts off. It's so hard. I find myself reminiscing randomly throughout each day. Link to comment
rsxguy520 Posted January 20, 2007 Share Posted January 20, 2007 alright people day16 woke up with a headache i guess cause i slept too late? started of the day listening to some John Mayer while dancing in my leopard thong. JOKE! anyways im here drinking coffee, eating cerals, and posting..!!! still anxiously waiting for my new cellphone. lol. feeling overall fine though.. To the people that are still feeling a bit blue about their situation, let me tell you this... As much as possible get distracted!!!! im telling you, once that distraction feeling kicks in, you will think less and less of your ex. Believe me! when i started this no contact challenge, i would post about how i felt about what was going on in my life without my ex and yadada..in the last couple of days, i've been posting about nothing, absolutely random junk. lol. i believe for me once i post about stuff how my day went and who i met, what i did, etc, i lose focus on the ex, and focus more on myself, which this NC is all about. Believe people, find something, anything!! that happeneded in your day, whether it was great, or whatever, as long as it doesn't consist you ex and start from there. Brag if you have to. Bost if you have to. I like to brag how i meet all these random girls because it shows me that im getting my self confidence back and also it shows me that there are Million and Billions and Trillion, and Gagillions of other people out there in the world that can be wayyyyyyyyyyyy better than your ex.. anyways..i sort hope this makes sense..I've been in NC for 4 months now, i can careless if i ever in God's will have talk to my ex again. now off to watch sponge bob..yes im a 20 year old male, watching cartoons on a saturday morning.! sue me. Thanks superdave for the whole spongebob phenomeon! Link to comment
ahhh2jz Posted January 20, 2007 Share Posted January 20, 2007 Day 16! good post rsx, i know what you mean, its starting to become a habit for me too; I really only think about her when im by myself. Going to do homework today all day, and get some more time to review for tests next week Link to comment
SuperDave71 Posted January 20, 2007 Author Share Posted January 20, 2007 All my friends, While sitting downstairs in my 'magical' chair (the one that all of this made sense 2 years ago) today, I had another thought that randomly popped in my head that I wanted to share with you. Though very simple and not complex...the message is none-the-less there: "Your worst enemy ..... is yourself" Think about it...all of the pain...all of the torment...all of the "What if's" and "I wonder if they are thinking of me..." Are our ex's doing this do US? I think not... This I hope keeps you on path... There are those out there that ask the very questions they hope we will decide that is it ok..or acceptable because their situation "is different" The answer I provide is this... I will not be swayed. If self-love is the key....nothing should deter you from it. NOTHING.. Despite the way you feel towards another, if their is no self love...you CANNOT love another despite the feelings you have in your heart AND MAKE IT LAST. Continue on my friends and try to have a GREAT DAY! Your Friend, SuperDave71 Link to comment
TijuanaJones Posted January 20, 2007 Share Posted January 20, 2007 hi there! Today I woke up early, went to the bank, went to another bank, went to the car wash, ate something, got a haircut, went to eat some japanese food, and now Im back home... In a couple of minutes im calling my ex to set a time when we will go out tomorrow... Im taking her to the movies, maybe eat something afterwards, I'll be fun, relaxed, a little indifferent (just how I feel right now), I'll make it a short date, take her home, thats it. No "I love you", or "I miss you", or "we should get back together"... nothing, It'll be like if I just met her... I feel a little weird right now, a little anxious, but I'll be ok... Tonight there is a big party Im going to attend to, lots of friends, lots of dancing... Link to comment
keefy1972 Posted January 20, 2007 Share Posted January 20, 2007 This thread it out of control. lol Link to comment
TijuanaJones Posted January 20, 2007 Share Posted January 20, 2007 Damn! That feels weird... I just called my ex, we talked for a bit... nice conversation... I asked her if it was ok if I picked her up at 5 pm tomorrow... she said: "Im going to a theme park tomorrow, im sorry I forgot" I told her not to worry, just to call me during the week to see if we could go to dinner or something... I dont feel very good, its pride messing with me... I didnt follow my own advice and saw her myspace, and she was posting comments back and forth with one of her friends... her friend was talking about not being worth crying over someone, telling her not to make the same mistake again, things like that, and that "he told me he was too drunk to remember"... my exs comments on her friends myspace were deleted, so i dont know if she was talking about someone else or what... I wish I hadnt looked at her page. I feel awful. I dont know what to do... help! Link to comment
GoingForIt_77 Posted January 20, 2007 Share Posted January 20, 2007 Tijuana, you should NEVER have asked her out SO quickly. That was what went wrong. You called her yesterday or the day before and did well. You should have left it at that, NOT having asked out and then let her have sat on that conversation for a good week and a half and then go back in with something else. You moved to quickly. Part of the reason she backed off is because she got scared off. So, put on the breaks. I don't like the fact that she said she forgot she had other plans. I like how you brushed it off like it wasn't a big deal. That was good, but it looks like she may have gotten some advice from someone as to what to say to you about tomorrow night's plans. She's not being fully honest with you I suspect. Link to comment
keefy1972 Posted January 21, 2007 Share Posted January 21, 2007 The hardest part of contact with an ex is learning that they have more to their lives than keeping up or worrying about us. Link to comment
TijuanaJones Posted January 21, 2007 Share Posted January 21, 2007 OK, I just had the final talk with her. She was cold, distant, judgemental. This was a girl I loved. She said what happened was that I gave too much too soon. Well, at least I learned something for next time. Life goes on. This is just what I needed to finally have some closure... Now I can move on. No hope of getting back together... good thing is that everything else in my life is peachy... ((hugs)) to everyone! Link to comment
Parsley Posted January 21, 2007 Share Posted January 21, 2007 Hey people Haven't properly posted for a little while, just been busy. Over 3 weeks of NC, feel fab, though do have my moments. Having been away from a computer where I can post on here, I've realised that coming on here everyday probably isn't helping a lot. I know I'm getting a lot of help and advice etc from everyone on here, and I am so ridiculously grateful, but I think that when I come on here...I'm always going to think of my ex, and I just don't want to anymore. I don't want to grant him any space in my thoughts - he doesn't deserve it. The last few days that I haven't been on here so much I've thought of him a lot less, and, like I said, I feel great. So I reckon I'll try a week only coming on here when the need to write is overwhelming, or if something major happens. If by the end of that week I feel worse for not being here, I'll come back, but if I'm still feeling better, I'll stick to that. I realised that before, I'd find myself on here *all the time* and always trawling through the Breaking Up and Divorce forums trying to find similar situations to my own, and trying to decide what outcome I actually want. Tijuana - I'm sorry things didn't work out as you'd hoped. It's a cliche, but this is someone you're better off without, if she's playing with your emotions like that. I also know that that's easy for the observer to say, and stupidly difficult for the person experiencing the break up to honestly feel. I hope that soon enough it won't be 'everything else' but everything in your life being peachy. x Link to comment
GoingForIt_77 Posted January 21, 2007 Share Posted January 21, 2007 Tijuana, I don't want to give you false hope, but if you still love her and if she still wants you in her life, you can play it cool man and who knows? Unless of course that's not what YOU want. Hey I do have a question bro? You said you did 19 of NC, right? Was that solid, or did you guys chat on MSN, or Text each other or email at all during that time, or was it COMPLETE NC? Link to comment
rsxguy520 Posted January 21, 2007 Share Posted January 21, 2007 ending day16... nothing really much happened. went to the gym. got my phone! CHHYESS! anyways today was overall another great day for myself. Day 17 tomorrow! Link to comment
DonMiguel Posted January 21, 2007 Share Posted January 21, 2007 The hardest part of contact with an ex is learning that they have more to their lives than keeping up or worrying about us. In my opinion, if that's on your mind, you still have more work to do. I think some relationships (like mine was) are based on the power trip of that person thinking of you first and foremost. That's just not love. I've learned that real love is about giving -- both to yourself and to someone else. If you need that person's attention that badly, you probably don't have much to give in terms of love. I think that's why no-contact or limited-contact works so well, because as the weeks pass, you stop expecting attention and you learn to get that feelgoodthing from other places. It's also why I feel that during the period of no-contact or limited-contact, it's best to refrain from dating. Just be on your own until you feel like you have something to offer someone else rather than because you desperately need someone else. Link to comment
GoingForIt_77 Posted January 21, 2007 Share Posted January 21, 2007 Don, I wish you would give that advice to my ex who is like a mad woman on TWO chat services, putting herself out there to the world and the breakup is now only 11 days old. I am however taking your advice though. I don't NEED a relationship right now. For me it's about the PERSON and not the idea of being with SOMEONE. Link to comment
luciand Posted January 21, 2007 Share Posted January 21, 2007 day 9: lots of studying... ugh... wasn't fun but at least it kept me busy. During breaks and once I was done, I couldn't stop thinking about my ex. GOD is that frustrating. I wish I could just totally throw her out of my head. I really don't know what to say about my situation anymore. It seemed that I was growing quite well, enjoying my life, liking myself more, not even thinking about my ex. However, now during the night the back of my mind floods me with old memories of us enjoying ourselves and it sickens me. Why the hell is my subconscious still thinking about this? IT'S OVER! There's NOTHING I can do to change her mind... so why the hell am I still thinking about this when I know and accept the situation. Really bloody frustrating. Link to comment
LLammas Posted January 21, 2007 Share Posted January 21, 2007 Llammas- Day 10 completed. I'm going through a really bad patch, though, and I don't know what exactly started it. I'm miserable and I miss him all the time. I'm starting to seriously think about breaking NC, just to ask whether or not he misses me, or if I should be shopping around for a lease without him. I know, I know. I'm pathetic. Link to comment
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