Stelinha Posted October 3, 2008 Share Posted October 3, 2008 Yes! made it a week. If I can do it Rosie007 then so can you! Link to comment
WadeCure Posted October 3, 2008 Share Posted October 3, 2008 Day 24 Morning everyone I hope everyone is doing well. Six days left in the NC challenge for me. Want to say thanks everyone here for their support and for Dave starting this challenge, it's been extremely beneficial to myself and thank God for you guys. I truly wish everyone the best and if anyone wants to talk PM and I'll gladly answer. Anyway as for me, I'm depressed this morning and would appreciate everyone's prayers. The thing is, and this is the truth of the situation, when this break up happened I decided to choose the high road. I chose to progress, not regress. I chose to upgrade, not downgrade. I want to be better than I ever was and have a future brighter than it ever was. Unfortunately, the high road is an uphill one it seems, more difficult than regression and taking the "easy way." But I'm hoping and trusting that at the end of the uphill climb that I can say it was all worth it, that I came out better than I ever was and that there's no way I would trade where I'm at with where I was. I'm already at the point anyway where I wouldn't trade where I'm at with where I was, even though I'm suffering some depression right now, because I feel like the road that I'm on will lead to just where I hope it will. Yesterday, I was at the bookstore in another town and I noticed a girl that I thought was very cute and my type. It felt good that, yes I can be attracted to someone else. So that's a very positive thing. As for my ex, by what I've heard she has taken the colossal massive low road. It's really unbelievable what a low road she has taken. Sometimes you can tell someones character by who they hang around with. To say I'm better off is an understatement. I'm very much better off and I avoided what was inevitably going to be a painful divorce with possibly children involved. Thank God for that. As I said yesterday, this choice solidified 100% our chances of getting back together in my view as 0%, even though I'm still in pain and my heart misses her, loves her still, and is still broken over it. I just cannot put myself in that situation. Instead, I choose to progress. I'm a little bit upset at my friend who did the whole "Irene's daughter" thing (not the friend who revealed the information of my ex taking the super uber massive low road), when I found out about the supermassive low road my ex taken I called my friend upset and left a voicemail. I didn't get so much as a text message back and it's Thursday. My friend has always been somewhat flaky and unreliable sometimes. Though usually he has been reliable. Oh well. I'll keep praying. God will make things right, I'm convinced. Just gotta make it through the wilderness. Link to comment
Jay_Bird Posted October 3, 2008 Share Posted October 3, 2008 Day 24 for me also I use to wake up every morning with this strange feeling in my chest of anticapation for some reason I don't wake up with that no more I am healing,and it feels really good......really really good Link to comment
ccali78 Posted October 3, 2008 Share Posted October 3, 2008 Day 4!! It really does not seem that long, but I certainly wish it was longer. It certainly helps that he is respecting me by not contacting me either... I am going to make it longer than a month. Maybe even a lifetime... Atleast I felt love and this is my second love. So I know that I healed from my first love and will for my second as well... Link to comment
hulk7280 Posted October 3, 2008 Share Posted October 3, 2008 Day 24 for me also I use to wake up every morning with this strange feeling in my chest of anticapation for some reason I don't wake up with that no more I am healing,and it feels really good......really really good weird.. i feel the samething in my chest.. its like my heart actually hurts Link to comment
Jay_Bird Posted October 3, 2008 Share Posted October 3, 2008 weird.. i feel the samething in my chest.. its like my heart actually hurts yep it use to be in my chest or sometimes in my stomach but its gone now it will get better for you Link to comment
Dani0613 Posted October 3, 2008 Share Posted October 3, 2008 I used to get it too...tightness in my chest. It's anxiety and it WILL pass... Link to comment
ccali78 Posted October 3, 2008 Share Posted October 3, 2008 I just blew it... I quit.. I am clearly destined to be unhappy... I will think positively... Link to comment
hulk7280 Posted October 3, 2008 Share Posted October 3, 2008 I just blew it... I quit.. I am clearly destined to be unhappy... I will think positively... im sorry to hear that .. was it a positive outcome when u contacted him? I sooo wanna get in touch with her, but i know i cant ](*,) Link to comment
WadeCure Posted October 3, 2008 Share Posted October 3, 2008 I just blew it... I quit.. I am clearly destined to be unhappy... I will think positively... You will make it ccali. Many of us have broken NC. If you are spiritual, I highly suggest prayer. God will help you. He promised it, in fact remember this when you feel like you are destined to be unhappy. Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Pray on this, and I promise you will be taken good care of. Link to comment
Dani0613 Posted October 3, 2008 Share Posted October 3, 2008 It's amazing b/c I come from a Catholic upbringing. My mom is EXTREMELY religious and I never really relied too heavily on my faith until my break up. I pray every friggin day for strength, wisdom and courage. I also believe that God does have a plan for me and my relationships and time will show me what it is that's in store for me. Link to comment
smaab Posted October 3, 2008 Share Posted October 3, 2008 We broke up couple of days back and i sent him a mail today with all the emotions and stuff. I am not expecting any reply from him and i want to grow strong in this NC Phase.From today i am going to start the No-Contact Phase. This is not to get him back. But to make myself stronger. So here it goes....DAY 1 Link to comment
WadeCure Posted October 3, 2008 Share Posted October 3, 2008 It's amazing b/c I come from a Catholic upbringing. My mom is EXTREMELY religious and I never really relied too heavily on my faith until my break up. I pray every friggin day for strength, wisdom and courage. I also believe that God does have a plan for me and my relationships and time will show me what it is that's in store for me. Dani, definitely continue to rely on prayer. I'm glad to hear you are coming to terms with your faith. I know that my postings appear extremely religious in nature but before my break up back mid August I was also disconnected from the "Higher." After the break up I started to pray. The results of looking and seeking something bigger than myself in my case has been unbelievably transformative. To say I'm not the same person I was when I was together with my ex is an understatement. While I still suffer setbacks, I still suffer depression, having a constant Ally that you can talk to anytime about anything really helps and that Ally will answer if you trust (or at least try your hardest to trust) and continually lean. Your faith will be a big asset in the journey ahead. It may not be the end all be all and fix everything all at once, heaven knows I'm far from 100% healed, but it makes things a lot easier. I'll be offline this weekend but I'll have a three day report on Monday. I wish everyone the best of luck this weekend, I will be praying for each of you, remember you are strong, you can make it through it - keep your eyes fixed on the larger scheme of things, and realize that the potential for something better down the road is nearly guaranteed. For the spiritual, again I quote this very important verse: Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." God Bless you all and thanks to everyone who has read my postings, it means a lot. Know that even though I may not respond particuarly to you, I've read what you've said and I'm your ally and if you ever need to talk one on one, I'll listen just shoot me a PM. Link to comment
Jay_Bird Posted October 4, 2008 Share Posted October 4, 2008 I tell you what I can't go back,I'm already too far into the journey............. my complete healing is the destination my confidence is the destination its been rough,but the hardest part is behind me thats first 2 weeks was rough,but I made,didn't think I could at the time,but I did anyone can do it just have to be strong Link to comment
Rosie007 Posted October 4, 2008 Share Posted October 4, 2008 The weekend that my ex spent with the other woman, and for several weeks after, it felt like my heart was being squeezed tight and it was on fire with pain all the time. I had to concentrate on breathing positive, loving energy into my heart, and breathe out the pain and hurt and negative energy. I only have to do that occasionally now. Stelinha Congratulations on 7 days! ccali78 I'm rooting for you and sending positive energy your way. I don't believe anyone is destined to be unhappy. Link to comment
Stelinha Posted October 4, 2008 Share Posted October 4, 2008 Weirdly, I keep on having dreams about him- not 'lovey dovey' dreams where we get back together or anything- he is pretty much the same in my dreams as in real life, being totally remote emotionally and also ignoring me! but in these dreams I'm stronger and I deal with his behavior without falling apart, in fact, I can see his behavior clearly for exactly what it is rather than making excuses for him (or maybe excuses for myself). Hope that makes sense When not sleeping however! I also get really angry at him which can quickly turn to feeling sad at how things ended and how things are: Ocsassionally, also getting the super strong urge to reconnect with him but I would never give in because I feel really good doing this challenge because it's something for me. I'm hoping what I've described above is all part of the healing process because I didn't have these thoughts when I was in contact with him. Link to comment
smaab Posted October 4, 2008 Share Posted October 4, 2008 Day 2 of my no contact started. I am deeply hurt. I am crying since morning. I am reading the mail that i wrote to him again and again. He is in NY with his new girlfriend. He is having fun there with her. The thought of it hurts me so bad. I hope i continue this challenge. GOD!!!Give me strength...Don't make me cry.. Link to comment
Dani0613 Posted October 4, 2008 Share Posted October 4, 2008 Day 19 I want to call her so badly!!!! Link to comment
Rosie007 Posted October 4, 2008 Share Posted October 4, 2008 Day 2 of my no contact started. I am deeply hurt. I am crying since morning. I am reading the mail that i wrote to him again and again. He is in NY with his new girlfriend. He is having fun there with her. The thought of it hurts me so bad. I hope i continue this challenge. GOD!!!Give me strength...Don't make me cry.. Dear Smaab, I'm sooooooo sorry to hear the thoughts your tormented by. It's OK to cry. You're in a safe place that will help you heal. -Rosie Link to comment
istillluvu06 Posted October 4, 2008 Share Posted October 4, 2008 3 weeks 1 day.........nightmares alot. but dont want contact anymore. Smaab, Believe me and the rest of us it hurts like hell. You may feel alone but ur not and it is ok to cry. I still cry and have cried so much in the past. It's part of healing. ~~**hugs**~~ Link to comment
ccali78 Posted October 4, 2008 Share Posted October 4, 2008 Day 1 and hopefully this will be my last day one... No it did not go well... I have made every mistake you can... He said the up and downs hurt really bad... I need to stop them and I am going to pray to god. I just do not understand myself at all... So I need to forget... Link to comment
ccali78 Posted October 4, 2008 Share Posted October 4, 2008 Oh and we have been broken up six months which makes it worse... Yes we saw eachother up until last weekend... But it still has been over 6 months... Link to comment
isn Posted October 4, 2008 Share Posted October 4, 2008 So my wife are NC, because she took her things and left. She needs her space, and I have finally been able to give it...damn cellphones...lol... This is day six for the second time. Last week, after 5 days, she texted me and we talked for 1.5 hours. She only wanted to change the phone to her name, but the counsellar said, "at least she did call". After our talk that day, she did say "things have to be like last week", which means no contact. So here I am day six and its the weekend. I thought she might call. Its really hard, I cried again last night. I am using NC, for two reasons. To finally give her the space that she has always wanted, and to show her that i love her enough to give her what she needs. Also for a chance to work on myself. I know that God has a plan for everyone, I just hope God will give us another chance to be together and be the couple that we should have been. Link to comment
Colin1981 Posted October 5, 2008 Share Posted October 5, 2008 Day/Night 1 Well i was referred to this site from My ex GF's cousin. She always looked out for me especially when i needed a voice of reason other than her mother. I dated this Girl for 9 years and loved her more than i did my own mother. My passion ran so deep for this woman and now tonight will be the first night that i'll accept the fact that she's no longer in my life. Im 27 years old now so she is the only one i've ever known to love and i know i'll survive through it all. My name Is Colin Fletcher and starting today im going to love myself. This will be my start and beginning of learning to let go. Im glad im finally here. Link to comment
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