Jump to content

Colin1981

Members
 View Profile  See their activity

  • Posts

    26

  • Joined

Colin1981's Achievements

Newbie

Newbie (1/14)

  • Conversation Starter
  • Week One Done
  • One Month Later
  • One Year In

Recent Badges

1

Reputation

  1. Colin1981
    Day one for me again. I brooke the Cycle and thereforee im back at sqaure one again today.Im going to change my approach and stay away from my phone. i don't even want to look at it for at least 5 days. I'll just make phone calls from my job and work. Writing is the better route for rehab right now since talking about it doesn't help me at all. So here we go again.
  2. Colin1981
    Well tell me if this is normal i wake up with the feeling of vomiting and look at my phone and see 7 mised calls. I didn't even bother to listen to the vooice mail bcause she never really listened to mines. I erased all three before a single word was said. I didn't need an explaination what happened from friday to sunday was enough for me. She made her bed now she has to stay in it.First day with a new promotion and i only had one hour of sleep....yay me!! -Colin-
  3. Colin1981
    Day/Night 3. It figures when i finally get promoted to work in the office i'll be around a Cou fighting tempation to even read the emails and look at her pictures. I have to pull away since she lied to me for so long. I wish she didn't hide those things but i realize that i scared her too. It sucks but hey we live and learn....i never cheated on her and now i feel like i should have but im better than that and better than her. Oh god i never had trouble sleeping until now. I left every picture, card and the same Ring that i proposed to her with back in 2003 and left it on her mothers Porch stacked neatly with the Ring in a Envelope with a farewell letter.. I never drove so fast on the way there and way back i did 100 easly. while skidding on my tires. She killed a big part of me that may or may not come back. But for now her mother has all the memories i have none. -Colin-
  4. Colin1981
    Day 2 night. I finally stepped away and told her the entire truth of the past 9 years and told her i knew everything. Im pretty sure she's in COMPLETE denial right now but everyone's deamons will effect them in the future if they can't fix the past. I was in love with her and as i force myself away from these feelings she'l know soon that that "love" will be no longer there for good. Today i have offically grown into a Real independent Man....she needs me more than i need her and she knows it. I'll post tomorrow after she tries to call me and i won't pick up. She knows what the ultimatum is. Me or him or lose me as everything forever. Today for once im in love with myself and it feels so freaking good inside that im happy. She has one chance one slight bit of hope though....it's up to her to follow through because i've walked away.
  5. Colin1981
    Day 2. No contact and she even realizes now that im honestly for real. She has so many skeltons in her closet and even IF we did get back she would have to empty out the entire thing. I know about the flings and cheating. So now im just coming into my own. I don't need to contact her because i would only be going backwards. She wants to finally tell me the truth but im going to pass on it. I'll write more tonight but right now im looking for an apptment in Western Long island.
  6. Colin1981
    I know she's your cousin and she'll never read this one thread because the truth hurts. She wasn't ready to get married because she couldn't and can't commit to one man. I spoke to her on a Cpu screen through video chat and she couldn't even look me in the face. She knows that flame inside her was dead. But i still had hope it would come back when she saw me in person. Now im sure she isn't coming back to this country because her friends and family can visit her where she'll be in the world. Me......on the other hand is starting all over and relocating out of N.Y. I won't post where but in due time after i give my 2 weeks notice and sign up for school (F.A.A) then i'll have a good idea. but for now just for the love of god please help me through this weekend. -Colin-.
  7. Colin1981
    Thank you 1+1... It's 2:42 am in the morning and i keep waking up and checking my phone holding out some kind of crazy hope. It's all false hope, it's not for the right cause anymore. I knew that here mother wanted her to find out what was out there before she settled down. It's crazy but i even think that she was eventually going to tell me when she came back "to see me" that she was going to move on with or without me. I knew the pattern by now- L.I.U--she had a fling-Whole foods-she had a fling-Paris France-she had a fling and even this time back she had a fling. I couldn't take the cheating behind my back anymore. I know that im intense when it comes to the "Feeling of love" but that's how dedicated i was to HER and ONLY her. I just hope the man she's sharing her heart with will pick up the slack and fill the void that i couldn't give her. So yes i'll make it through the night and wake up tomorrow. Im scared but im confident. or at least have have it right now....
  8. Colin1981
    Day/Night 1 Well i was referred to this site from My ex GF's cousin. She always looked out for me especially when i needed a voice of reason other than her mother. I dated this Girl for 9 years and loved her more than i did my own mother. My passion ran so deep for this woman and now tonight will be the first night that i'll accept the fact that she's no longer in my life. Im 27 years old now so she is the only one i've ever known to love and i know i'll survive through it all. My name Is Colin Fletcher and starting today im going to love myself. This will be my start and beginning of learning to let go. Im glad im finally here.
×
×
  • Create New...