Mustang Posted May 2, 2008 Share Posted May 2, 2008 Mustang, you have a very good attitude towards it. I'm sure she is thinkg at least some if not all of those things. I also think now that it is up to my ex. I cant play games anymore because it's exhausting. It is indeed. I can't be arsed with chasing somebody that's made their point perfectly clear. It really is hard to think of her with somebody else. Especially as there was no gap in between. It kills me to think of her and him. She posted on Facebook that she was going to Scotland and seemed excited about it. She knew I'd see it too. Which makes it feel even worse. I probably won't sleep tonight because I will imagine them together. Which is something I am not looking forward to when I go to bed. But the main thing is not to let her know that I am feeling like this. It's just a blip and in a few weeks I'll be OK again. To be honest, I don't really think she'll be thinking any of those things. She's with him and she has been for a while now. They're probably telling each other they love each other by now. I'm just a guy she once went out with. Nothing more. She was just being polite with her text to me. I really do want to let her know how I am and that I'm cool but at the same time, I don't want to give her the comfort. It's so hard mind you. Link to comment
greywolf Posted May 2, 2008 Share Posted May 2, 2008 Day 3. I want to call her so much and ask her how her day is going. *sigh Link to comment
anbreeuh Posted May 2, 2008 Share Posted May 2, 2008 Day two of NC. Found out today that he's dating someone else. I broke down and bawled for a good two hours. It shouldn't still hurt this bad; it's been almost two months. It's just so hard to swallow that he could throw away two and a half years so quickly. I guess this is learning my lesson the hard way. Link to comment
DieTeufelKatze Posted May 2, 2008 Share Posted May 2, 2008 I'm curious as to what Justagirl's text says. I had very strong urges to send a pissed off text the last several days, calling him an arsehole and whatnot... but resisted. Very hard not to give into temptation though. Day 5. I don't think I'll count yesterday's conversation, because I in no way initiated it (he came up and talked to me for awhile after work). I just got home from ballet tonight (a pointe class, at that), and right as I walked into the dressing room after class, I realized I hadn't thought about him at all the whole time!! YAY! That's a first for me! All week I'd been occupied ruminating over it all, even in ballet, but now I'm noticing that there are periods in the day where my mind isn't totally consumed by him. I even got some work done today, instead of obsessively reading this forum and articles, though most of the day was still spent doing that. I've lost about 10 pounds, maybe more. I eat only about once a day, and only in little amounts, at that. My ballet teachers are obviously giving me more attention now. I can't keep on the starvation diet forever (no appetite, I'm not literally trying to starve myself), but I have to admit that I look more ballerina-like than ever. I noticed my ex had dropped weight as well when I talked to him yesterday. Maybe he's not such a emotionally-barren robot afterall. Link to comment
jane2000 Posted May 2, 2008 Share Posted May 2, 2008 Day 1 today. It is Friday night and I have to get through the entire weekend. Ive made plans with friends and I will certainly get my butt to the gym a few times. Anything to get my mind off him. Ahh and the joy of having to pack up his things from my apartment Link to comment
EyesOnThePrize Posted May 2, 2008 Share Posted May 2, 2008 Day 23 - 1 week to go, unless I decide to go longer. I really don't know. Once again, the ex reached out to me today, and this was the first time it had zero to do with me. She sent me a picture that made me laugh. It was something that related to an inside joke we have. There are a couple of other people who would probably get the joke, too. She might have sent it to more than just me, and frankly if I cared enough I would check the cell phone records (our phones are still linked) and see to whom else it went. And that doesn't really matter. I think the fact that she sent it to me period is evidence that she still is thinking of me and that's nice in and of itself. She may be frustrated by my lack of response. Heck, I'm frustrated by my lack of response. I really had to resist responding because the picture was funny, and because its an inside joke. I miss her, and its good to know she misses me. Other than that, it was a busy day. I was at a client all morning, then had an appointment with my therapist. We even talked about ENA a bit. I'm starting to talk to him about some of the anger I have, especially that towards my mother. I also got into some of my self-worth issues and how they took a beating during the divorce and how I'm working on building them back up again. I finally got back to the office late, and spent most of the rest of the work day talking to Nick on yahoo. It was not productive. Then it was off to the gym, which is good because I had fallen out of that routine, and then home to relax. I'm going to make it an early night, maybe soak in a bath for a bit, do some more reading on BPD, have my nightly "talk with the ex" (I'll thank her for the picture then) and get some rest. After the gym, I should sleep very soundly. Onwards and upwards! Link to comment
MeSilly Posted May 2, 2008 Share Posted May 2, 2008 Day 17 or so... It's been weird. Sometimes I barely even remember the pain I felt when it was all over months ago.. sometimes I barely remember we had a relationship. But then there are times like yesterday when I started sobbing b/c I was missing her. I don't know what pisses me more: missing her still, or feeling like an idiot for missing someone who's probably not thinking about me. I dunno. The urge to call, email, ANYTHING, has been almost unbearable. But she'd just tell me to go f*** myself, like she does when she's mad at me. I'm moving away to another state in a month and I don't know whether I should risk more heartache by trying to say goodbye. She's been a b**ch to me after the break-up, blocking me completely from her life -- MSN, facebook, phone calls, texts.. And yet, I still miss her. I feel like such an idiot. Link to comment
justagrl Posted May 2, 2008 Share Posted May 2, 2008 I'm curious as to what Justagirl's text says. I had very strong urges to send a pissed off text the last several days, calling him an arsehole and whatnot... but resisted. Very hard not to give into temptation though. The texts were not good. I'm sorry I did it. It hurts. They were cut off, but said this: Txt 1: I understand that u r mad at me. I told you that u deserved better than me and I still mean it. You have to undestand that I am starting a new life, things r....it cuts off..... txt 2: when I told you we were not right together i meant it (ouch) and now I have found something that is right (ouch again) and I wish yu would understand that and respect it its...and it cuts off again..... It makes it a very harsh reality....maybe a true wakeup call for me though...I've been really good, it was just such a bad day...and I got weak and sent it and I shouldn't have, knowing the possibility was there to get hurt..and I did. Back to Day 1 of NC...forever. Link to comment
Mustang Posted May 2, 2008 Share Posted May 2, 2008 Day 1 I am so annoyed at being back here. The only positive thing is that I didn't text her back last night after texting her originally. I won't text her back. Why should I tell her how I am? Link to comment
Brokenhearted87 Posted May 2, 2008 Share Posted May 2, 2008 Day 5 NC-NC (no choice no contact...lol!) Feel empty Dreamt a lovely dream about the two of us getting back together last night. When I woke up, I was confused for a few moments and thought we had, then remembered Link to comment
Jinky Posted May 2, 2008 Share Posted May 2, 2008 Day 3, i want my stuff back. Should i text her to bring them through? Its crap, really wanted to talk to her today. Shes such a beutiful person. It bugs me. Alot. Never regret anything that made you smile. Link to comment
GoldenHillGuy Posted May 2, 2008 Share Posted May 2, 2008 Went out last night. Actually went to the bar where she met 'her friend'. That was tough! Watched a few bands, met some people. Imagined what when on in that bar. Started getting a good buzz, was getting very mad at her for being so uncharateristicly scandelous. Went home, chatted with a friend online for a bit. Woke up today feeling relieved that its over. Actually, it could've been alot worse, say we had gotten married. I'd be her doormat, and she'd keep whittleing away at my self esteem only to make her insecurities feel less significant. But this is today. Tomorrow could be back to square one. Link to comment
Annonomous Posted May 2, 2008 Share Posted May 2, 2008 K its time i took on this challenge. Loving the rules, hope it all works out how i want with me getting over her.... Link to comment
theredrocket Posted May 2, 2008 Share Posted May 2, 2008 day 11 34 to go! I feel great today. I feel very confident and happy with myself. I feel attractive and capable of getting what I want! Link to comment
AronSchneider Posted May 2, 2008 Share Posted May 2, 2008 Day 3, i want my stuff back. Should i text her to bring them through? Its crap, really wanted to talk to her today. Shes such a beutiful person. It bugs me. Alot. Never regret anything that made you smile. I also want my stuff back. But I have already contact her for more then 1 month ago and told her that I want my stuff back and she rejected me. So "F.U.C.K" her very much Link to comment
greywolf Posted May 2, 2008 Share Posted May 2, 2008 Day 4. I feel like crap today. Yesterday I wanted to email the ex so much, but I got through the day thinking, " I can email her tomorrow." And today I'm going through the same thing. But I think that if I can just go through every day thinking, "I can contact her tomorrow." whenever I feel like contacting her, then I think I'll make it. But it still sucks. Link to comment
Jinky Posted May 2, 2008 Share Posted May 2, 2008 Just text her, keep it positive. I did. "Hey bambino, good luck with your race this weekend. Could you bring my stuff through, put the handcuffs in a bag though, lol. Catcha gorgeous." "Man, u well missing ur * * * * ty dvd! Uhu, will do. U gd?" ...I'm not replying to that though... she can atleast spell....no need to be a c**t about it. Link to comment
onetrack Posted May 2, 2008 Share Posted May 2, 2008 Day #? I'll start counting now...I wanted to call her today but didn't. I keep telling myself; wait six months, just six months...the pain is dissipating but I love her just the same. Link to comment
DieTeufelKatze Posted May 2, 2008 Share Posted May 2, 2008 Day 6 - I'm still at work, but I'll make my post now since I'm going out with a girlfriend later. Today has been REALLY hard for me. I woke up way too early this morning, went back to sleep just in time for my stupid alarm to go off. I am having STRONG urges to contact him, thinking up any excuse and then trying to talk myself out of it. I really hope I don't get drunk enough to just call him tonight. I still feel so confused about our breakup, even more so that he came and talked to me in person on Wed.. I know it will only push him away, but I'm wondering if he's having the same urges to call me and whatnot but is respecting my "I just need to be alone for awhile" statement. I miss talking to him SO much. I wonder if he was distancing because he was interested in someone else. My emotions are bouncing all over the place. I just want him back. I'm a little encouraged by the fact that I'm doing so well in ballet, and I might be filling in for someone in Paquita who has an injury... performance is a couple weeks away. We'll see. Link to comment
soon2be Posted May 3, 2008 Share Posted May 3, 2008 Joining the NC challenge...today will be the end of Day 2. It's a bit tough for me since I am pregnant though, but since he doesn't want to be around now I won't force him. I will post the details later. Link to comment
hfc65 Posted May 3, 2008 Share Posted May 3, 2008 Texted her today,no response Going to send 1 more email and then call her later this week If no response than it's time to move on. Link to comment
greywolf Posted May 3, 2008 Share Posted May 3, 2008 the day is still crappy and i'm getting a little nervous because she went on a trip yesterday and won't be back till monday. so i'm just wondering if she's ok. this week is just a horrible * * * * ing disaster Link to comment
wyrllish Posted May 3, 2008 Share Posted May 3, 2008 Texted her today,no response Going to send 1 more email and then call her later this week If no response than it's time to move on. Dude, might be a bit too much. Give it some time before you call-text-email so much, can be overwhelming and have the opposite effect. Link to comment
hfc65 Posted May 3, 2008 Share Posted May 3, 2008 Dude, might be a bit too much. Give it some time before you call-text-email so much, can be overwhelming and have the opposite effect. It's been over 6 weeks with no contact.I just want to know if she wants to stay friends which we made a promise we would no matter what. Need closure before I move on. Link to comment
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