Hope_Springs_Eternal Posted April 5, 2008 Share Posted April 5, 2008 rocket, DONT message her. If she doesnt reply you will only feel much worse than you do already. Save it, for when she contacts you when she gets curious about what your up to because youve gone NC. write a few good things down that happen, so when she phones youve got good things to say, better to have an upbeat conversation about good things than the old tired 'miss you babe' thing. Link to comment
Hope_Springs_Eternal Posted April 5, 2008 Share Posted April 5, 2008 shoefairy, I hardly ever drink..didnt even partake at Christmas but thought a couple of vodka's might cheer me up and blank the ex out for a bit.. it did..until I thought it would be a good idea to phone him. yes, I drunk dialled the ex! so Iv changed my mind about thinking drinking is a good idea lol Link to comment
AronSchneider Posted April 5, 2008 Share Posted April 5, 2008 8 days with no contact! I haven been out partying with friends five of those days. The first 14 days after the break up was easy. I did the non-contact for 13 days. I was in the mountains for snowboarding, thinking about our relationship and talked on the phone with friends every day. I was maybe in chock. Yesterday I was out on club and all that night I hoped for her calling me saying that she missed me and wanted to “sleep” with me. But she didn’t call. I most get our from this "Hope-mode". The only thing positive is that I have started to "contact" old friends and new friends and I have started to be more of a out-going guy when coming to talking to people. Before I just stood in a corner with my friends drinking beer, now I have started to take contact with women. It is training before I move to another University after the summer where I will party on in 2 year along taking my master. Need to get better with people and foremost women. Link to comment
AronSchneider Posted April 5, 2008 Share Posted April 5, 2008 shoefairy, I hardly ever drink..didnt even partake at Christmas but thought a couple of vodka's might cheer me up and blank the ex out for a bit.. it did..until I thought it would be a good idea to phone him. yes, I drunk dialled the ex! so Iv changed my mind about thinking drinking is a good idea lol Bad choice. Never, ever call your ex when your are drunk. Now you most do it all over again. Keep in there! Link to comment
bronte Posted April 5, 2008 Share Posted April 5, 2008 Day #18, but four weeks exactly since we had our last actual conversation about anything personal. It's hard to believe it's been that long! I'm starting to think now about what I want to do in mid-April, which is when I told him he could contact me again (so he would stop yelling at me about my wanting to do NC). I know I'm not ready to initiate contact yet, and I doubt he will do so in the absense of encouragement from me, but what if he does? I'm thinking some form of LC will be the way to go, where I'm polite but keep any conversations short and impersonal... Trying not to think about it too much yet, though. I have a date later and we're headed to one of my favorite places in town, so I think it's going to be a very fun day! Link to comment
Brokenhearted87 Posted April 5, 2008 Share Posted April 5, 2008 I'm not going to commit to a long period of no contact, because the circumstances of my break up/break (whatever the heck it is at this point) are weird, but I NEED to try and go for a few days here and there without talking to him....because I am hating being the one to always text first etc and constantly checking my phone (for a text that is only going to be friendly) is turning me into a nervous wreck and I know I'm not healthy right now. So I need to at least see that he means what he says and gets in touch with ME. Supposed to see him on Friday for his birthday though. Link to comment
littlej Posted April 5, 2008 Share Posted April 5, 2008 Today was a tough day for me. Whenever I'm down about something I would call her, talk for a minute and everything would just melt away. Gosh I miss that. Link to comment
nickbroken Posted April 5, 2008 Share Posted April 5, 2008 Day 6...well for the most part today Ok, then a sudden sadness hit. It's just hard to move on and say goodbye I guess. I wish things were different, but I know I can never go back it's too late for that. Link to comment
hfc65 Posted April 5, 2008 Share Posted April 5, 2008 2 weeks Little depressed to day,Was scheduled to go out with a female friend to have some fun,not sure if that's happening now,maybe will be first drinks in a few weeks need some releif Link to comment
Sickboy48 Posted April 6, 2008 Share Posted April 6, 2008 4 months of NC. Things are great and I am happy. I wish you all the best in your NC time. Link to comment
RaeKarma Posted April 6, 2008 Share Posted April 6, 2008 day 62 i finished movin in spring break is over take the ASVAB on monday i think thats it.... Link to comment
justagrl Posted April 6, 2008 Share Posted April 6, 2008 Day 8 starts today. I've been doing pretty good, except for last night...I got the urge to call, and I did, but caught myself and I hung up before any answer. So it would have showed that he has a missed call. And I have a private number so he would not know it was definitely me, although I suppose he could assume it was. Does this throw me back to day 1 lol? God I hope not. It's a beautiful day today and I'm going for a walk today w/ my dog...actually to a place that we used to go, a river trail. I've thought twice about not going there, but I think I need to, just to think. Link to comment
pumpkinmoon Posted April 6, 2008 Share Posted April 6, 2008 day 15, NC is definitley helping, I'm not sure if I'm even starting to get over him, maybe Link to comment
LilBear Posted April 6, 2008 Share Posted April 6, 2008 Went out on day 75 with my siblings and a couple of friends - to make up for feeling awful tht it's his birthday. End of day 76 Day 77 begins Link to comment
bronte Posted April 6, 2008 Share Posted April 6, 2008 Day #19...I'm really missing him today, though not so much as a romantic partner--I just miss talking to him and hearing about what's he up to. I wonder how the job interview worked out and how he's handling his end-of-the-semester stress. I wish I were done healing so I could check in with him just as a friend and not want anything more from it...but I know I'm not there yet. And when I think about his new gf and feel like I've been punched in the stomach, I know I'm not even close to being there. Link to comment
theredrocket Posted April 6, 2008 Share Posted April 6, 2008 Last contact on my part was late Friday night via text message. Last contact on her part was Saturday afternoon in response. My goal is to just make it through today with no contact on my part regardless of what she does. Also I've realized that's it is an impossibility to remain friends with her roommate. All it does is remind me of her and make me wonder what she is up to. I think I was keeping it as a way of staying in her life anyways. So I'll have to let that one go as well. Link to comment
mankow Posted April 6, 2008 Share Posted April 6, 2008 Day 17 well on day 14 I typed txt message, send failed and i quickly erased the message, hope she didn't get it. It was basicaly good night message and nothing more I will count NC as nothing happened (if message did go it is very low lc anyway) Today was feeling very bad. Like I am going to die and my heart has been taken away from me. I have thoughts of calling her or sending message if she can only talk to me about anything, but didn't break NC. It was tough. Now I am not that bad, but being on business trip last week and at home with my family, now I am all alone in my apartment in the city where I live and work and it is very very bad, and all that pressure at work, I think I am going to explode or go into tears. I was crying today for almost an hour, which I avoided like ten days. It is so awful. It was the greatest relationship of my life so far and the worst break up so far. I am so confused!!! Link to comment
Mustang Posted April 6, 2008 Share Posted April 6, 2008 Day 4 I am over the "angry" stage after reading the closure email and now I am sad. I just can't get my head round and/or accept her reasons for breaking up with me. She claims to have changed but I keep thinking that I must've done something, somebody must've caught her eye. She wouldn't just leave. But I am really trying to not speak to her. I just wish that we could've embraced change together. I understand that her going to uni was a new chapter in her life, but I thought I was important to her. I'm at uni as well. We could've had fun. I think she assumed that she couldn't have as much fun at uni if she was still with me. Pretty shallow and it makes me feel like our entire relationship wasn't what I thought it was, but I am trying so hard to move on from this. I just miss her sooooo much. Link to comment
hfc65 Posted April 6, 2008 Share Posted April 6, 2008 Day 15 Night out with Female friends was just what I needed.Talked about the ex and got a lot off my chest Too hungover today to give a crap about anything lol Link to comment
jfire35s Posted April 7, 2008 Share Posted April 7, 2008 Day 2 of NC I would rather be dead...today was horrible. i woke up at 5am...checked my phone..nothing...could not go back to sleep. Went to the gym hung out with friends, but for the life of me couldnt stop thinking about her. I wanted to call her so many times but I had to resist. Not to mention that i have check my phone like every ten minutes to see if she sent a message. All i want is to get one text from her saying anything......ohh man im tearing up again...why does this have to be so hard...somebody please pray for me. Link to comment
mankow Posted April 7, 2008 Share Posted April 7, 2008 day 18 started well, no contact urges Link to comment
todaysbird Posted April 7, 2008 Share Posted April 7, 2008 so i'm in... it's been three days since i've been dumped. and i've managed to not contact him since. but my one month of NC starts today. it's going to be hard because we live on the same floor in the dorms... but i want to commit to doing this, so that's why i'm here. i actually came to this thread the first day we broke up, but was too apprehensive to join. i now realize NC is the best thing to do. he took me for granted. i know that now. and talking to him and generally being around will not make him want me back. itll only make him see me as a non-girlfriend. absense does make the heart grow fonder... or absent. this just might backfire on me... but being so very present isnt going to do better. i hope he misses me... Link to comment
Hope_Springs_Eternal Posted April 7, 2008 Share Posted April 7, 2008 I have been NC now for 3 weeks. I saw him on the motorway 2 weeks ago but didnt know it (which was good) and I think I saw him yesterday in my town in his work vehicle, but cant be sure. It might not have been him driving, I didnt look in case it was, but was trying to read the writing on the back of the bus in my rear view mirror in case it was. I'm thinking it must be my brain trying to imagine fate is throwing us together, (as I'm an hour away so this isnt a town he would normally be in), and today im trying to rationalise things and block him out again. Im not going to contact him. It would hurt so bad if he put the phone down on me like last time, but Im just praying I can stop thinking about him soon Link to comment
mankow Posted April 7, 2008 Share Posted April 7, 2008 day 18 afternoon when I come home from work and walk in empty rooms it hurts like hell. It is just not normal to so much miss her, but I am ruined. Almost one month since we are not together and now it is even worse then in the beginning, I want to call her to hear from her, but as she doesn't want me in her life I will try to keep it at least 30 days before making utter fool of myself and contact. so I guess that is 13 more days, not that bad. april 21 st is the day. I really would like to be with her, I just feel more and more as time passes there is a love inthere. Link to comment
theredrocket Posted April 7, 2008 Share Posted April 7, 2008 so no contact from either yesterday. I'm disappointed that she didn't attempt contact yesterday and I really want to send her an email asking how her weekend was today but I feel strength in knowing that what I am doing right now is correct in terms of not pushing. I usually start to get really weak after lunch time when we would talk Link to comment
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