deleted-account Posted January 21, 2008 Share Posted January 21, 2008 Made it through 2 weeks now. I've failed at NC many times in the past but I know I'm going to make it through the 30+ days this time. I'm much stronger than I was and feel better about how things are headed in my life. Link to comment
LilBear Posted January 22, 2008 Share Posted January 22, 2008 today is the start of Day 2 Link to comment
MNmike Posted January 22, 2008 Share Posted January 22, 2008 day 24 Yesterday sucked today ok Still miss her Almost 30 days already? Feels like we broke up only a few days ago. Been 2 months. :sad: Link to comment
sillygurl Posted January 22, 2008 Share Posted January 22, 2008 Allrightey, here we go. My on again off again and I just broke up about an hour ago. I pretended I thought it was a great idea, and we made it a mutual breakup even though it's killing me. NC from here on out... maybe in the meantime I can meet someone better! Link to comment
NorthDallas40 Posted January 22, 2008 Share Posted January 22, 2008 She dumped me three weeks ago, we emailed for a couple of days, then I held to NC for 9 days until I found some suspicious Myspace comments and emailed her about them. She explained them away and I started NC again. That was 8 days ago, now she just called and left a VM about how she's not feeling good emotionally, and how she's been looking at my Myspace profile. She wished me & my mom well (she had a recent illness), and said she wanted to know what I'm doing, but nothing about wanting to try again or even why she was really calling. At this point, she's texted, called, and emailed me about 5x more than I have to her, usually every weekend and usually drunk. This time she was clearly sober. Still, I've never called, just kept it to text/email. Not sure what to do now. I'm happy that she's called and proven that NC *can* prompt a response from the ex... and I *do* want to talk to her so badly... but I know that trying again isn't going to be on the table. We're LDR, and she needs to "find herself," so until more time has passed AND I'm living in the same area, nothing's going to change. ](*,) Link to comment
batteredandlost Posted January 22, 2008 Share Posted January 22, 2008 I very nearly replied to one of the emails he sent me. Just a one-liner in answer to a question. But as it wasn't a question about me, him or our relationship, I decided not to bother. It feels almost childish - like I'm now doing to him what he did to me in a "here, see how YOU like it" kind of way. But that's not why I'm doing it. I'm doing it to preserve what little is left of my sanity. My ex called me this morning - we have a child together, so we have to remain in contact. The split from his was horrible - and partly what's lead me to to the depression I'm suffering from now. Anyway, he's worried about me. He told me that he will always be there for me (he doesn't want me back, nor do I want him back) and that I should never feel alone. His concern for my wellbeing was touching - and more than my present boyfriend is currently showing. Oh well. We'll see what today holds. Link to comment
Tinnes Posted January 22, 2008 Share Posted January 22, 2008 I did NC twice. It lasted 20-30 days both time. He was the one who called me first. Today he was in front of my house, to fix something in nearby garage. He called. I kept it short, said ok, see you. Did not want to go outside to say hi. From today I am going NC again. Link to comment
broken to Posted January 22, 2008 Share Posted January 22, 2008 Starting on day 1 again. She told me about a date she went on over the weekend. I don't know why I should even bother with no contact. I've given up. Link to comment
gunpoint6 Posted January 22, 2008 Share Posted January 22, 2008 Back to day one...she invited me out for drinks friday night and I accepted. On Saturday I seen her out for her bday party although she wasnt supposed to go where I was going but she changed her plans and went there instead. We ended up hanging out almost the whole night. Not good because a lot of feeligns came back on my side but not hers but I didnt say anything at all about them, just was my usual self and we had fun. Link to comment
batteredandlost Posted January 22, 2008 Share Posted January 22, 2008 I hate this. I hate the fact that he can't communicate well in times of any conflict. I hate the way he closes up or gives some lame excuse for his behaviour (shutting me out mainly). I hate him not being here. I miss him. Link to comment
LilBear Posted January 22, 2008 Share Posted January 22, 2008 day 2 ended start of day 3 Link to comment
J_man Posted January 22, 2008 Share Posted January 22, 2008 Starting on day 1 again. She told me about a date she went on over the weekend. I don't know why I should even bother with no contact. I've given up. don't give up! especially if being in touch is doing you no good i'm on day uh... 6 i guess. Link to comment
samantha20 Posted January 22, 2008 Share Posted January 22, 2008 I'm on day 4. I'm seriously weakening guys does nc make you feels worse before you feel better? I'm feeling worse than ever. The fact that she hasn't attempted to contact me at all, when I never even asked her not to contact me hurts so much. I feel like I'm just making it easier for her to forget all about me and move on. I keep thinking that maybe her bf has asked her not to talk to me or something.. after we broke up she said that she wanted to stay best friends and asked to meet up about 5 times but I kept saying no thinking that it would be too painful. Now she's not trying anymore it's more painful than ever.. I've made it easier for her to forget me by nc.. she doesn't seem to care if she's my friend or not anymore. This mutual friend of mine and my ex's is out for his birthday tonight and I've got a feeling that my ex went out for it with her new bf. It really hurts. I really wanted to text her and say 'so u wanna stay my best friend, yet u choose to go out for our friend's birthday with your bf instead of me?' But 4 days is the longest I've managed so far and I don't wanna have to start again.. and what good will it do? she might not be out for this guy's birthday, she might be at home with her bf, either way hurts and knowing isn't going to make me feel any better. I'm back in town which is making things harder. When I'm at home I'm thinking well I can't meet up with her anyway so there's no point contacting her. But when I'm in the same town as her with no other friends and no family around me, I just wanna call her and ask to see her and accept that friends is better than nothing. I'm thinking that maybe I'm only hurting myself with nc, because she's stopped contacting me, which shows that she is not missing me and is happy with just her bf's company, whilst I'm the one that's sitting in my flat alone. I'm so confused. I'm really starting to feel like in my situation, maybe settling for friendship would be better than nothing. She won't suddenly break up with him and get back with me just because I'm not talking to her, she'll just give up on me- which she's done already, and lean on her bf even more. That leaves me with no one, and after spending the whole of my time at university so far just being close to her, it's too late to make other good friends now. I only have 4 months left till I leave for good, so maybe I should take whatever she will give me till then, in terms of spending time with me, and then just get out of here and start again. But then I think maybe I should keep going with the nc a little longer to see if things to start to get easier? I don't see how they will when I'm so lonely. I'm hoping that she secretly misses me but is just being stubborn in not contacting me.. I want to see her.. maybe if I spend time with her as a friend and just be fun and act like I'm over her, it will make her remember what she loved about me before? I don't know what to do.. the longer I don't talk to her the worse I feel, because I feel like I've lost her forever and that makes me want to cling on to her, even if it's just as a friend... I don't wanna lose her completely... Link to comment
MNmike Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 Day 25 I'm having a very very sad day. I'm crying as we speak. Felt like hell all day, can't stop thinking and missing her. Feels like we broke up yesterday. I miss her sooo much today, and I don't know why. Its been almost a month since we last spoke, I can't believe its been almost 3 months since I've seen her. This is the longest I have not seen her in 5 years. And the longest we have not spoke in 3 yrs. I am trying to go on, but I can't. I can't not miss her, and love her. What the hell do I do? Maybe I still have hope, but I know I can't. Shes gone. And its not getting better. I hate this, and the way I feel. Like I've lost so much. I don't know how to move on, and get over her. I want to feel better, I really do. I can't escape this hurt though. :sad: Just a REALLY bad day. Link to comment
foleno Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 Day 2: She basically disappeared again. Sorry. I know you want some thing more; and her hinting that was very unfair. Its hard to especially when we wish not to let go, but maybe you have the evidence of how she'll be if you did happen to get back with her. Maybe a relationship with her would really be a waste of your valuble time. Keep us posted. NC it works if you work it. Link to comment
bostoneric Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 ex called me tonight. couldnt connect to the wireless network. I tried to txt instructions, but she was unable to understand so I had to call and walk her through the steps.. she said she missed talking to me and questioned why I havent talked to her pretty much at all since I left. I kept the conversation on fixing her wireless problems. Link to comment
deleted-account Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 2 songs that have been giving me strength lately are "you'll think of me" by keith urban and "wasted" by carrie underwood. I'm usually not a fan of country but they fit. Find something that gives you strength and run with it. We can get through this. Link to comment
batteredandlost Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 Another day to get through. I know I've done the right thing by laying down boundaries, but I still feel like * * * * . Link to comment
samantha20 Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 I'm on day 5. I'm crushed that she hasn't tried to contact me, because I never told her not to or said that I was going nc. After spending every day for the past 2 years with me, she is able to just erase me from her mind and stop talking to me. I thought that she meant it when she said that even though she doesn't wanna be with me, she would always love me and want to be my best friend. How can that be true when she hasn't attempted to contact me in 5 days..? I won't talk to her but it would be nice to know that she remembers I exist. It's not getting easier, it's getting harder. Link to comment
batteredandlost Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 I'm useless. I emailed him to let him know that I'd found out when my first appointment with a counsellor (for depression/self-esteem/anxiety stuff) was. I thought he should know. That was basically it. "Seeing counsellor next week, thought you should know. Thinking of you". If he replies he replies. If he doesn't he doesn't. Link to comment
LilBear Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 Day 3 coming to a close What happened today was he sent a text "Haha. My gf asked me why we broke up. Should I tell her?" What in hell is his problem. Day 4 starting. Link to comment
LE DHUY NHUT Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 Day 53 of absolutely zero contact.It does get better as you realize certain things are not meant to be.I know in my own heart I did all I possibly could and I still wish her all the best.I am still very much in love with her. Link to comment
gunpoint6 Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 and its on to Day 2 - have not made any contact whatsoever nor has she Link to comment
MCR7 Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 Keep the NC going! The feelings of doubt and low self-worth are NORMAL, and they are also driving irrational thoughts like 'maybe we should just be friends'. Um - NO. Friends do not treat each other this way. I know you say she was there for you and I am sure she was, and also pretty sure she's always had her own motives and runs her own show. That is not what love is. Love is not about what you are expecting to get, only what you are expecting to give, and she has a sense of entitlement that, frankly, sounds creepy. And you sound fabulous. So please remember that you are! Link to comment
bostoneric Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 my head is screwed up after "tech support" call with ex last night. why ask me why am I being all weird about contacting her??? why throw it in my face that you are a les bo now ??? why do you care what I'm up to and ask specificly what when I say I'm out with friends. ugh my head is screwed up today.... thanks again ex! Link to comment
.jpg.1626fbc48c04fd9021fd315819807524.thumb.jpg.882936eb5901fa05cf31c75617acde2e.jpg)
Recommended Posts