Addicus Posted February 3, 2008 Share Posted February 3, 2008 My ex broke up with me Tuesday..it was a sexual chemistry thing (I would like a little more understanding on her issue and why it can't be worked on..that is a whole new posting) I am taking the NC challenge. I know that I will have to contact her within the next 24 hours because I agreed to do something for her that I realise now is not a helthy thing to do but I need to contact so she can make other arrangements. Other than that...I am in on this. Can I start today even though I have to Make contact? Link to comment
LilBear Posted February 3, 2008 Share Posted February 3, 2008 What did you agree to do for her? Is it very important? If not then tell her, sorry, but you can no longer do it. Then go NC. Link to comment
GetMeBack Posted February 3, 2008 Share Posted February 3, 2008 I am feeling so sad today, I miss him so much. And I am tired of starting NC over and over. I feel so exhausted. Link to comment
Addicus Posted February 3, 2008 Share Posted February 3, 2008 What did you agree to do for her? Is it very important? If not then tell her, sorry, but you can no longer do it. Then go NC. Hi lilbear...I agreed to dogsit (she is paying me) not a free ride. However, I think I was caught in a moment of I need the money and hmmm it gets me contact on her terms. The reality is she lives and hour away so to fit it into my schedule will be difficult anyway. But under the circumstances, I know that it is not a healthy choice. Everything I read, on this site, in books can't stress the NC enough. If I was the dumper, I know that I would be a whole lot more respectful of the other person if they just moved on to heal. I alos know there is little chance of this ever working out based on the reasons we broke up. I know all that and consider myself a pretty healthy person, but the initial NC is hard, I guess each day it gets easier!!! Link to comment
samantha20 Posted February 3, 2008 Share Posted February 3, 2008 keep going getmeback! I'm on day 2 after starting again. I keep dreaming about her which is really annoying! But then I also dreamt I had sex with my flat mate who I don't even like! She hasn't tried to contact me.. she's hurt me so much since we broke up that it's easier to do nc because I can't handle being dropped for her new bf over and over. I've given up on her for now, I don't want to think about her anymore. Link to comment
l_lollipop Posted February 3, 2008 Share Posted February 3, 2008 I'm on day 3 although i have left him another message about our holiday - i just want to sell the damn thing so I can do NC and not have anything to contact him about. It's so tough. Especially when I've called it's gone straight to answerphone. Because he's phone is ALWAYS on.. it's like he's purposly igoring me - it hurts so much. I'd do anything to make this right again. Link to comment
Addicus Posted February 3, 2008 Share Posted February 3, 2008 Ok..I got the dog isue out of the way...no on that silly idea. So the 60 days of NC start today. I am actually excited because I see it as a challenge...being a Taurus I can be very stubborn and this maybe a challenge that I can do. I am going to mark day off on a calendar, and write little notes on there about what I did when I felt the urge to call and each day I will post here. Today is the first day of focucing on me and my selfworth and growth. Link to comment
brlewis22 Posted February 3, 2008 Share Posted February 3, 2008 Well today is day 3 of NC...we broke up 3 weeks ago ( I was the dumper) I wanted him back and he turned it around on me. This is the longest we have gone w/o communication. I had tried NC last week it last 2 days and he was calling me asking me to lunch but could not make it. Then he brought us up in a conversation and that he was so happy when we were together, but he just doesn't know if he is ready to give it another shot right now. I gave this man and his son the world. He wanted me there for the emotional support, but I realized that I could not be his friend right now...it hurt way to much. Especially when I found out that he went on a date. I was devestated. He tells me he just wanted company, but that it wasn't a date, but it still hurt so much. So I texted him the next day telling him to not contact me unless it was about a reconciliation, because it hurt to much otherwise. I told him that I had to take this time to get over him. I love him but have to let him go. I must say that since I sent that message I have felt better, bc I know that call will not come, so I don't sit around staring at the phone. I am doing alot of reading, and cooking. I listen to music and I do cry but I am not mad at him at all. We broke up on good terms and there was never any trust issues. He just wasn't ready to give me his heart. Do I hope that in time he will realize how much I mean to him and come back? Of course, but right now this is not about him but me. I no longer want to hurt like I was when we did communicate. So I am taking the 30 day challenge. Link to comment
foreverlost Posted February 3, 2008 Share Posted February 3, 2008 I accept this challenge... it has been 5 days, so date: Jan. 28th, 2008. this will last 30 days. I hope it will help me. This is going to be the hardest thing I'll ever have to do... but am positive that I will benefit from this experience. So far I have been having my cravings... especially feb 1st, the day before my bday, when he was supposed to take me to a basketball game, but took someone else instead because of all tht we have gone through. Dunno if NC will help him come back to me.... because he said he doesn't care about me at all and wants nothing to do with me for the rest of his life, but I am doing this for me... I have not been able to stop contacting him and going back to his booty calls for the past 6-7 months, which is very pathetic of me. But overall have been feeling good... today is a good day. Link to comment
LilBear Posted February 3, 2008 Share Posted February 3, 2008 It's day 15 And it's not easy at all for me. Feeling like crap...but it's the best thing to do for myself Link to comment
GetMeBack Posted February 3, 2008 Share Posted February 3, 2008 I am feeling awful. I am already on anti - depressants and I feel like I just want to die. I miss him so much and it hurts that every hour that goes by, he chooses not to be with me. That stops me from calling him, in itself but doesnt take the pain away at all. Link to comment
brlewis22 Posted February 3, 2008 Share Posted February 3, 2008 Getmeback I feel ur pain...I saw him for the first time in 3 weeks on Thursday at our companies annual breakfast and I became weak at the knees. In the beginning when I was doing the begging and pleading to get him back, and telling him that he must of never cared about me. I remember him telling me I need to step out of my little box and look at the whole picture bc if he didn't want to be with me then he would not be talking to me and missing me, but he is just not ready. I hurt so bad...As much as I wish I could continue to talk to him daily and flirt and make plans to hang out. I know my heart can not handle that. He may need to experience dating other people in order to realize that the grass is not always greener. As much as it hurts that he may be dating other people I do know one thing...I can't control his actions nor do I want to. I can only control me. I know that I am a great woman, I am a single mother of 2 daughters that works very hard and has always been a strong, independent woman until I fell in love with him. It was at that point that a whole new world emotions hit me, and I became insecure. I believe we both pushed eachother away. He is 32 and is a single father that has been hurt many times, and these woman never thought about his son only him. I want to use this time to work on my insecurities and why I feel the way I do. If he comes back to me eventually I want to know that I am an even better,and stronger woman. Link to comment
MNmike Posted February 3, 2008 Share Posted February 3, 2008 day 37 Its one of those days I'd like to tell her and her new Mr. Wonderful to F*** OFF! I never would do such a thing because I am not that type. But I am angry at what she has said and done so soon after the break up. Basically telling me I sucked at being a boyfriend, although I was good enough for 4.5 years. I know she will see that the grass on the other side will not be so green after a while. IF, and thats a big IF, she ever did want to come back, I honestly don't know if I could ever trust her, or even want to be with her again. The bridge is slowly smoldering away to ashes. Link to comment
foleno Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 Hey every body. This site was the best support network I ever been part of. I see a lot of new people on the post. Hello and good luck working NC. I just wanted to give an update to everyone. I have not talked to the ex. Yes I wanted her back, but now I know I do not. I would like closure, but not a must. A lot of good things have happened since I have been aways from my ex. Well I am a lot richer. Have more going on in my own business, and just got notice I was excepted to a full scholarship. I never noticed how much of my life and time my ex stole from me. Do not get me wrong I wanted to build a life with her so at the time I thought it was worth it. It is strange, becuase I never felt that way about someone and honestly do not believe I will or at least for a long time. I just wanted to share what was going on and hope others would get some strength from my story. Good luck every one. Link to comment
foreverlost Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 congrats....!!! looks like a lot of luck have been brought to you! Link to comment
Muzatsu Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 Okay guys check up on me, it's muzatsu in the house. I've done and succeeded at this before but then I went into LC and other things and found myself broken hearted once again. This time it's the ex who doesn't want to talk to me when before I always initiated NC. So to up the ante I am going to bid on 90 days of NC instead of a mere 30. This is officially day 1 of 90 and I am determined not to talk to him even if he tries to talk to me for at least three months. If more time passes and he decides to contact me then I'll consider it. But for these three months I gotta be strong. I want him back so bad, but I gotta get myself together once again. Link to comment
GetMeBack Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 I need help. Almost committed suicide last night, will be seeing the doctor today. Link to comment
Muzatsu Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 I need help. Almost committed suicide last night, will be seeing the doctor today. don't do it, I was once suicidal over situations like this and still have strong urges. Yet for everyone who cares about you though we don't know you face to face, please don't do it. In the end only your life is gone and whoever compelled you to do it will still be there either not caring or only feeling passing guilt. Link to comment
Tinnes Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 You have to be strong. And to take care of yourself. If you are not able to do it alone, ask for help. But no one is worht of your life to end it. It is so great thing- life. But you have to find another aproach to it. Enjoy, love, and be loved. Fight for you. Never give up! Link to comment
Addicus Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 Well...Now I need to start the NC all over again...I went to a casual dinner with her last night...she flirted all night with me....I knew that her intent was that she wanted to establish a friendship but the flirting was a little out of control. I flirted back, a little. I gues that is natural but I certainly was not the one that initiated. It just didn;t feel right. Yes, I would love to get back together but there needs to be time for people to figure out what they want. So I am starting my NC again today...! Link to comment
foreverlost Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 hi... so it's day 6 of NC. I am starting to wonder what the point of putting a restriction for NC is... since he told me he doesn't want me in his life for the rest of his life. I am hoping he sees that after my 30 days that I actually have some self-respect and will see that I am trying to move on. His theory is that I will never move on... what a big ego eh? Link to comment
LilBear Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 it's after 12am so i'm on day 16 now Link to comment
l_lollipop Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 Lilbear, you’re being so strong – I have no idea how you’re doing it!! I spoke to my ex last night and today we’ve had a few friendly joking emails… I’m planning go NC on Thursday, maybe sooner… Link to comment
LilBear Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 Nah I'm not being strong. I'm struggling through it. Try to have friends with you. I find it's harder when you're alone. Link to comment
bostoneric Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 I'm having a really hard day today. today is the first real morning I've spent in my new place. its really hard to be alone and think about this is my place now. i'm afraid to send her my new address and ask for all my stuff. i cant believe in the almost 2 months now that we've only talked 2 times. 1 week we are all smiles then days later I'm on the road leaving and she's replacing me with a girl ..... wow i'm still in shock. Link to comment
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