Keep the NC going! The feelings of doubt and low self-worth are NORMAL, and they are also driving irrational thoughts like 'maybe we should just be friends'. Um - NO. Friends do not treat each other this way. I know you say she was there for you and I am sure she was, and also pretty sure she's always had her own motives and runs her own show. That is not what love is. Love is not about what you are expecting to get, only what you are expecting to give, and she has a sense of entitlement that, frankly, sounds creepy.
And you sound fabulous. So please remember that you are!
