foleno Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 Hello every one. I hope NC is bring in the new year with some love and new self worth. I think it is day 20 what ever of NC. I kinda do not keep track. Its so odd for me because I have not really had these feelings for any one, and even thou now I do not want my ex back. Okay maybe just a little , it so hard to put those feeling to the side. They were thier. I thought it was the closest thing to love if not love I felt. I guess I wanted it to be love. aT LEAST I LOVE MYSELF. So I do know self respect and self love, Now I just need to share that with some one healthy and I will be me just sharing myselF. tHANKS EVERY ONE FOR YOUR SUPPORT. Link to comment
MNmike Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 day 18 Was a hard day.I was the only one at work all day. My boss went on a trip and my other coworker is on vacation. Being alone I thought about her all day. Not that I normally don't anyway. Just had no distractions, and that made it worse. I felt like crawling in a hole and never coming out. I hope this NC gets easier soon. My sister had a baby Saturday and I really wanted to tell the ex the good news. But she does not deserve to know whats going on in my life. Or my sisters. I still miss her more than anything. I keep asking myself when this will go away. I can't see the light at the tunnel yet. Just a black hole in my heart. Link to comment
samantha20 Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 I know that right now, my ex is accross town, with her new bf in her bedroom. It's his night off work and I know she's with him. IT KILLS ME. She text me asking if I want her to drive me to my exam tomorrow. I can just imagine that. Her getting out of bed with her new bf still in it, driving me to uni, going home and getting back in bed with him. It makes me sick! I didn't reply. When did life become a living hell? Link to comment
J_man Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 i feel for you, it sounds like you're in a brutal situation. try if you can not to think about where she is and what she may be doing, you'll drive yourself crazy. easier said than done, but worth the effort Link to comment
chocolates Posted January 16, 2008 Share Posted January 16, 2008 I know that right now, my ex is accross town, with her new bf in her bedroom. It's his night off work and I know she's with him. IT KILLS ME. She text me asking if I want her to drive me to my exam tomorrow. I can just imagine that. Her getting out of bed with her new bf still in it, driving me to uni, going home and getting back in bed with him. It makes me sick! I didn't reply. When did life become a living hell? TURKEY NC[/b] Well DONE!!!!!!!!!!!! Link to comment
Crows Posted January 16, 2008 Share Posted January 16, 2008 Might be going for coffee or dinner wtih my ex tonight. Link to comment
chocolates Posted January 16, 2008 Share Posted January 16, 2008 7 days NC feel awful at the moment Link to comment
Crows Posted January 16, 2008 Share Posted January 16, 2008 Well my ex called finally about coffee.. and well we're not going. SHe said shes sick and shouldnt go. But the weekend would be better. I said "oh ok thats fine" and she said "heyy im not blowing you off, just on the weekend is better becuase you're not wkring and it's not so cold out" Ugh................ Link to comment
deleted-account Posted January 16, 2008 Share Posted January 16, 2008 I've made it through the first week of NC without a problem, however thoughts of her are really starting to take over my mind. I truly believe she's going to come back one day but I've already waited long enough and I want to move on. Link to comment
Crows Posted January 16, 2008 Share Posted January 16, 2008 I have a feeling my ex is getting me back for not biting at her hints to go out the times she wanted to. She's doing it to me. But I mean, come on, when does it end and copromise can me made?! ughhh Link to comment
Shaemus Posted January 16, 2008 Share Posted January 16, 2008 Today's day 1 of NC for me. Crows, I don't mean to come down hard on you, but I think you're missing the point of "no contact." Get to know her less, and yourself more, brother! S Link to comment
Crows Posted January 16, 2008 Share Posted January 16, 2008 Today's day 1 of NC for me. Crows, I don't mean to come down hard on you, but I think you're missing the point of "no contact." Get to know her less, and yourself more, brother! S Believe me... I did. I'm 4 months into my breakup. I did NC on my side for 16 days as well as 14 days.. both times she came back to me. She comes on stronger and stronger whenever I go NC. She can't let go of me. I can't let go of her. There is something definitely still there. We talked for 20 minutes on the phone today, and it was really good. Link to comment
Shaemus Posted January 16, 2008 Share Posted January 16, 2008 Originally posted by Superdave71: **Remember** No Contact is for you 5. If you have contact with your ex BY YOUR DOING..YOU MUST POST WHY YOU DID IT AND HOW YOU FEEL RIGHT AFTER. No exceptions. 6. If your ex contacts you, UNLESS IT IS AN EMERGENCY, or there are children involved, you cannot respond. PERIOD. If you do, see rule 5. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= With that being said, if you and she keep hurting one another, are you really doing any favours? I'm on day 2 (hasn't been 24 hrs, but a sleep and 2 meals, so it counts lol) Before that NC was in effect for nine months. And you know what? All the old, raw wounds were still there when I broke the NC, and just as sensitive. So long as we keep going back, we will continue to fall into the same old patterns. It is by making oneself move forward we will move beyond the hurt and be able to create new patterns. So; if you're getting back together with this ex, you're in the wrong channel; this is for those for whom NC is the answer. If you are in here because you want to institute an NC, then follow SuperDave's rules, and be glad you did, because you will be stronger for it, I promise you. Not to say you'll never have moments of weakness, but that then is what this support network is here for. S Link to comment
gunpoint6 Posted January 16, 2008 Share Posted January 16, 2008 that makes a lot of sense Samantha - thanks! always better hearing it from the opposite sex.... Day 10 here and I'm doing ok right now Link to comment
tsarevnaelena Posted January 16, 2008 Share Posted January 16, 2008 I broke NC yesterday after about 20 days, to wish his football team well in the playoffs. He responded with a barely spelled-correctly one-line email. I feel crappy, like even my overtures of friendship are being rejected. Link to comment
samantha20 Posted January 16, 2008 Share Posted January 16, 2008 my ex sent me a text asking to meet up as friends on friday. I ignored her, knowing that her bf was working that night I felt like she was probably using me. I have a date for friday night anyway, although I would rather see my ex, I don't want to see her knowing that she will spend the evening with me and then go home to bed with her new bf. She saw that I had arranged to meet up with this guy on facebook though and got really angry. She sent me a text saying something like 'you say that I treat you like 2nd best, but you would rather see this guy instead of me! You could have asked if I was free to meet up first before making arrangements with someone else. I guess we can't be friends, see u around.' I didn't reply because of nc but is it me, or is that really unreasonable??? Link to comment
NorthDallas40 Posted January 16, 2008 Share Posted January 16, 2008 Good god this woman is unbelievable. She cheats on you, lies about it, dumps you, and REPEATEDLY tries to make you feel guilty about the situation??? Samantha - people like this are the reason NO CONTACT was created! She doesn't deserve the slightest response from you. Stay strong and stay OUT OF TOUCH. Link to comment
samantha20 Posted January 16, 2008 Share Posted January 16, 2008 Thanks NorthDallas. She has this way of making me feel like things are my fault. She claims that she wasn't cheating on me over the xmas holidays, even though people claim that my ex and this guy were acting like a couple when I was away.. she says it didn't happen till after she dumped me on new year's eve, even though she went out with him only a few days later, so according to her she didn't do anything wrong. And she said that she only lied about it when I found out because she thought it would be fairer to wait till I got back to tell me face to face.. According to her the only thing she did wrong was stop having feelings for me and develop feelings for someone else suddenly after we broke up.. but this guy's been after her for about 2 months! It seems like too much of a coincidence. She says that I should be happy that she's willing to stay my best friend. She's messing with my head, when I try nc she says that I'm throwing our friendship away so that we're losing everything. She says if I want it to be all or nothing ie a relationship or nothing then it will have to be nothing but she'd rather stay best friends. She makes me scared that if I lose her friendship I'll be cutting off my nose to spite my face because she'll have her bf to lean on and I'll have no one and I don't want to lose her completely. But she's being unreasonable! And it hurts too much seeing her with someone else.. I'm all confused but ill stay nc. Link to comment
J_man Posted January 17, 2008 Share Posted January 17, 2008 i broke NC today after just about a month. the NC was at my ex's request, and she emailed me yesterday to say she was ready to meet up if i was, i replied that i'd like a little more time, and she replied that she understood and to let her know when i'm ready. i guess that's pretty healthy. now to continue on the path.. Link to comment
MNmike Posted January 17, 2008 Share Posted January 17, 2008 Day 19 Was a bit better today. But still thinking about her. Link to comment
bostoneric Posted January 17, 2008 Share Posted January 17, 2008 i broke NC today after just about a month. the NC was at my ex's request, and she emailed me yesterday to say she was ready to meet up if i was, i replied that i'd like a little more time, and she replied that she understood and to let her know when i'm ready. i guess that's pretty healthy. now to continue on the path.. same exact thing i'm doing... about a month in i finally answered an email of hers, she was asking why i never answered her "how your xmas/new years went" emails... i told her i'm not ignoring her, i just need more time to heal, she said she understood... and thats where we stand. its been over a week since then with NC either way. Link to comment
samantha20 Posted January 17, 2008 Share Posted January 17, 2008 my ex sent me this yesterday 'I think I've been asking to much of you and I'm sorry. I'm so sorry your hurtin darlin, I want to come and comfort you but I don't think that would help? would it? I care about you so much I just want to fix you. God I miss you. I want to give you a cuddle so everything is alright, but I cant make it ok can I? I want to look after you so badly. I'm sorry..I don't want you to hurt, I want you to be ok. x' I woke up feeling so dad today. I want her to comfort me, but like she said it won't help. Because she doesn't want me I hate the fact that her boyfriend's at her flat all the time, staying over every night.. I'm only accross town alone in my flat. I woke up not long ago, and thought what's the point in getting out of bed? My ex is accross town with her bf right now, not thinking about me.. I have no one else, I isolated myself from everyone when we were together. I used to wake up in the morning and go straight to hers, if I wasn't there already. Now he's there all the time.. I have nothing to do for the next to weeks as my exam's over and term doesn't start again for a couple of weeks. I have to stay in town though cos of work. So I'm just sitting in my flat feeling lonely and sad. I have a date tomorrow, he's only in town for one night. But to be honest I'm only going for something to do, I don't feel anything for the guy. Feels like no one compares to my ex. How can I take my mind off things? The problem is I don't really like being alone.. It's so tempting to just take the scraps of my ex's time when she's not with him that she's offering me. I keep thinking it would be better than being alone. But it hurts either way. Link to comment
iwillbefine Posted January 17, 2008 Share Posted January 17, 2008 Today will be 28 days. Almost one month. I can feel things getting easier. I still miss him, but I have so much work to do on myself. If he did contact me today I think I would be a little sad because I need more time to heal. His mother was emailing me over the last week. I finally told her that I need to not talk with her anymore because it is making me sad to talk with her and that I need to focus on myself, and not keep in touch with her. I am sure that we will eventually be able to be friend as we were so close in our realationship. I am keeping myself very busy and feeling better and better about myself everyday. I can see more clearly now the problems that we had in our relationship. I am no loger blaming myself because I know the problems we had are things we BOTH needed to work on. So.....NC is definatly helping to move forward. You have to detach because that old relationship is OVER and if you really think about it you will understand why it had to end...BUT if you learn from this and make some positive changes you can have a new relationship with the old person or a new one and it will be better than the last simply because YOU are better. Link to comment
bostoneric Posted January 17, 2008 Share Posted January 17, 2008 well i was weak today its so crazy how easy she was able to just replace me with this girl and probably never have a moment alone to herself. new girl just moved right in. its a shame, just shows how little morals they both have. ex cheated on me with her and now she is moved in! wow its sad, ex is just going to do the same thing again to this girl. a 3 year relationship just replaced within DAYS!! no time to heal or grow from our relationship... its sad and makes me hurt so much! i loved this girl unconditionally and she knew this but still ran to something new and exciting.. Link to comment
J_man Posted January 17, 2008 Share Posted January 17, 2008 really sucks eric. it's really hurtful. it's really hard because you always search for something to rationalize it, but sometimes you just can't. hopefully reminding yourself of her actions will help keep you strong, those actions speak pretty strongly Link to comment
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