Would you date yourself?

[charley]

If you think about it, we are ultimately trapped into dating outselves anyway, kind of. Or, if you hate yourself, an abusive relationship.

 

Yep. That was exactly what I was trying to say in my prior post. Perhaps I should have said it more explicity. We are all dating ourselves to some extent whether we like it or not. There's no way to break up with yourself, and no divorce. The question isn't if you'd date yourself, but how do you like dating yourself, because we all are.

 

Luckily, people with the ability of introspection can either change to improve, or learn to like themselves as they are. Likely some combination of those two would be best.

 

Like it or not, you are dating yourself. We all are.

[stopit]

One hundred percent right!

 

It's the whole half-full versus half-empty scenario. Why not just look at one's positive qualities, as opposed to one's negatives?

 

And for those who said no they would not, then are any of you dating right now? Because you shouldn't be. At least, not until you can become someone you'd want to date. Like, if you can't imagine dating you, then why should anyone else want to, either?

 

 

Because of compatibility issues. I wouldn't date myself because I'm way too shy and quiet, and I'd have to be with someone a hell of a lot more talkative.

 

But then again, it depends on how you read the question. You can read it as a self-esteem-o-meter, or you can interpret it as a revealing a general human trend (whether like personalities are desired). Personally, I'd say "No!" either way.

 

But going back to your post, I don't think that this question determines whether you love yourself... just whether you would date yourself. I think the question you posed can be interpreted the other way around: If no one else wants to date you, why would you want to? There must be something wrong with you.... right? (from the self esteem side of the question) From the compatibility side, just imagine doubling that issue by having two people in the relationship with the same deficiency/quirk/problem? You need balance... Quirks are okay (even good!), but only when they are balanced out by the other person.

 

Obviously that's an overgeneralization: like quirks aren't inherently incompatible. And often people look for others who have similar values/backgrounds. Depends on each relationship...

[MissTee]

I guess I would date myself except there a few things about myself that I know drives my boyfriend crazy... and I know if I had to date me, these things would drive me crazy too!

 

-impulsive & emotional shopper

-very very very emotional at that time of the month

-vain

-can be quite quirky (he balances me out)

[neva_black_n_white]

no - i make it too difficult for people to be close to me.

 

but then again i do like a challange. lol.

[kailola]

I wish I could date myself. But I'm way out of my league.

 

Just kidding btw. I'm rubbish.

[bestfishinthepond]

So, I guess this question brings out the aspects for self improvement. We are only a mirror image of our perception. I challenge each person, whether he/she agreed or disagreed to date one's self, to look into a real mirror and find one thing realistic changable characteristic (and only one, right now) that will positively enhance your "new" and improved...you. It isn't hard to do.

 

For example:

I needed a haircut...something simple and yet, something I've put off for 2 years. I got dumped and the next day I went to Great Clips and donated 12 inches to Lukemia patients. Talk about wonders for my self esteem! And...my friends say that my new looks (hair and minus 15 lbs. from the "lovesick diet" ) is attractive More importantly, moving through the healing process has allowed me to "fall in-love with myself" again. I love me, always have...but it was just clouded by my jaded perception.

So my enotaloners...the mirror...one thing. It's a start and a beautiful one at that!

[Northalius]

Good post.

 

Talking about physical attractiveness: Many people with low self-esteem say they're ugly, but really, they're not. It's just they need to change some things about themselves that they seem to not like, which they've let go and not touched for a while, or ever.

 

Hair is one of those; weight can be another; teeth another; etc.

 

It's like looking at a house with a yard. Is the property and house naturally ugly? I'm doubting this.

 

It just might not look great at the moment (at least compared to most other houses) because someone that lived there for 20-25 years chose not to mow their lawn every week; never trimmed the hedges; didn't repaint the house and patch up some holes from the constant weather that beat on it, etc. etc.

 

No one is ugly! That is truly, and ultimately, in the eye of the beholder! In my opinion, it just depends on their own personal perception of themselves that judges the outcome of whether they'll choose to take care of themselves, or not.

 

It's all about the ol' "As a man (or woman) thinks, so is he (or she)" type thing, which is so true in my opinion.

 

If you truly and naturally think you're a bad person, you'll most likely give up on trying to do good; and thus ultimately become that which you thought you were to begin with.

 

If you truly and naturally think you're an ugly person inside and/or out, you'll most likely give up on seeking ways to improve yourself; and thus you'll become what you originally thought you were, by doing so.

 

It all starts in the mind, and the rest only follows.

[bestfishinthepond]

Precisely North, Precisely! A mirror shows an image of both inward and outward reflection. Although it cannot feel emotion, it does bounce to others your perception of yourself -positive, negative, reflective, aloof, confident, goofy etc. Truly look in the mirror and say "I'd like to go out on a date with you, Friday." Then do it. Get all jazzed up and treat yourself grand. Funny as it seems, I did exactly this. (and gave myself a good laugh by talking to myself in the mirror) It's awkward at first, but once you say positive (or negative) things enough times about yourself, you begin to believe it and you undergo a transformation to mirror that image. So, let your mirror show you and others something new, positively stunning, unique and natural.

 

So date yourself... work on you, fall-in-love with you (Annie24 is dead on), and soon others will reflect that mirror, too. You are right on North, You are right on!

[Caterina]

Never.

He lacks initiative, and will never amount to anything.

I'd go for a high level exec with a heart condition.

Rofl, thats funny.

[AzureSkyes69]

Originally Posted by AntiLove_SuperStar If you think about it, we are ultimately trapped into dating outselves anyway, kind of. Or, if you hate yourself, an abusive relationship.

 

I agree after all we are stuck with ourselves..good or bad.

No way to get away from ones self,we can get away however from everybody else..But ourselves.

 

Hey I would acually like a brake from myself from time to time but not at all possible.

[Lboogie23]

wow, great question.

 

the insecure part of me says no, because i know my own flaws.

 

But in reality, if i were a man i would say yeah, i would date me. Besides we are always more critical of ourselves than other people, right?

[johnagent1911]

i don't know what females want when they look for a guy but i like myself.... does that work?

 

john

[Lily04]

Wow... I appreciate the posts 'cause this thread is so huge, but I don't want to read all the responses anymore.....there's soo much lol.

 

But keep them coming!!! I want this to be the largest thread ever!!! hahaha. Lily sets the ENA record... always a small dream... haha, oh god, let's hope not...

[Lily04]

p.s. I appreciate the thread ratings too. yay. (and yes, this was a pointless attempt to increase my own thread count...heh.)

 

p.p.s. let's take this thread to 200 replies!!!

[Lana0120]

I don't think I'd date myself either for a number of reasons. Because I don't think I score well on first encounters or once people get to know me. Initially, I can get tongue-tied or I say things which people find strange, I go around with a frown a lot because I feel uncomfortable when lots of people are around. Once people get to know me I can be somewhat pushy, I call people in on their lies making a joke out of it, I'm very wrapped up in my work and I can just generally be difficult to be around.

[kevin_18]

hmm.. Lana, I'd agree I sometimes say funny things but not the rest of those things you said.

 

I'd date myself. The first kiss would be a very romantic and somewhat odd moment (since it's myself that I'm dating) but it wouldn't take too long to get each other going. I wonder how much I really would like to date myself... Such a weird thought.

 

No maybe this is all wrong. I like the differences in people and I've never yet met anyone remotely similar to myself so I can't say.

[philosophia]

I would date myself but then again, I know me. Standing outside of myself and looking at myself from the perspective of a woman, I can see why someone wouldn't date me - it's weird how forcing me to look at it this way illuminates a lot of the problems that I'm currently dealing with. I always think, 'well if they only got to know me, then they would know what a great person I was'. Well for whatever reason, some women just don't want to take the trouble of getting to know me. Probably because I am not displaying my value enough for them to recognize my potential. Those women that have decided over the years that they wanted to get to know me, even briefly, I have a certain amount of affection for even now, for being able to recognize good things in me.

 

I feel like I'm really close to being the person I want to be. I have a good heart, I'm intelligent, funny, I have a good job, great education, nice house, a car, friends, active social life. I work out and am in great shape. I am an awesome guitar player. Some people have even told me that I'm handsome. There are just some things I'd really like to fix about myself. I'm lousy with finances, I have to really get my finances in order - they are stable right now, I'm not in debt anymore thank god, I just have to start investing and saving, maybe buy a bigger house someday. I have one more class to take to finish my Master's degree. I'd like a better job - my job is great, I like what I do, I like the people I work with, and the pay is great. I would just like a job that challenges me more, and that allows me to travel more maybe. I'd also like to start working on this music software I've always had in mind to write.

 

It's not like I'm a worthless person unless I take care of these things, in fact most are long term things that I'll probably be working on for a long time. It's just that I would feel a lot better about myself if I did. Not that you have to be a totally 'together' person to be worthy of having a good relationship.

[Allie.]

hhaha no way. cuz i'm too crazy for myself sometimes...i need a balance of someone calm and more laid back...

[Slyght]

I think if I was dating myself, we'd probably rush into things a little too fast.