Useless with guys

[girlie219]

Hello there, I'm a 22 year old female who hasn't got much experience with guys. I only lost my virginity about a year ago to a guy I was going out with but he ended it shortly afterwards. The next time I had sex was with this guy I was seeing at university about 6 months ago. We only slept together twice and ended it due to the circumstances (moving back home after university). As a result of this I have only has sex three times in my life and I just feel so awkward and embarrased about it and my lack of experience, and also the fact that my relationships haven't lasted very often.

 

I find it really hard to find a decent guy and when I do it never seems to last that long. Most of my friends have had or are in long term relationships but i haven't had that and its so upsetting.

 

Can anyone help?

 

[the yang to the worlds yin]

It does take time to sort through people till you find the right one. And don't worry about your inexperience, it leaves you the ability to be more open towards trying new things and thats a huge turn on.

[Batya33]

When I was 22 I had had a few serious relationships but had never had sex (intercourse that is). What I would do - evaluate it from the perspective that the common denominator here is you - so look at whether there is a pattern in the type of men you are interested in (or who are typically interested in you) - whether there is a pattern in who is attracted to you but you reject, etc. Also look at your friendships - are you more of a giver, taker, somewhere in between? Are you a doormat, assertive, etc?

[Beec]

OK, first, don't worry about sexual inexperience. If you know how to do it, you know how to do it. I've known women with little experience and some with much more, and the amount of experience did not increase the quality of the sex. How much I wanted them and how much they seemed to want sex with me did. Enthusiasm, not experience, makes an encounter better. Also, a fairly adventurous attitude and willingness to try things can help keep things fresh, so when you get into a relationship keep that in mind. I've known and dated a number of women who did nothing sexually until they were your age or older.

 

If you want to improve your chances in getting into a relationship, then work on the skills invovled in dating, work on understanding how it is that men and women interact, how it is we draw people to ourselves, what leads us to fall for a person, and any number of other thigns. The skills, tactics and strategies that are involved in dating can come natural to a few people, but some of us need to learn things. If you want any suggestions on how to go about learning, ask. I would suggest that you read things from various view points and test out what you read. Use what works, adapt the ideas to suit you.

[Caldus]

I am in the same situation as you pretty much, except I've been through a relationship. As far as the sexual experience goes, that's not a problem. As the other guy said, if you two are into it, then it's not going to matter how much experience each person has.

 

What the previous poster above me said was pretty good advice except I would like to find some good sources for what you are talking about? Maybe it's time I read some more literature on all of this attraction and love business (as much as I hate to admit it).

[MacGyverRI]

As a result of this I have only has sex three times in my life and I just feel so awkward and embarrased about it and my lack of experience,

 

 

Don't feel awkward about that, if you're going to sleep w/ someone just say "I don't have a lot of experience" and if the guys is decent he will be patient and you will learn some new things.

[shy2cool]

I'm a decent guy plagued with shyness. I've never been in a relationship and always dreaming about meeting someone. My whole life is about trying to avoid feeling embarrassed and awkward doing ANYTHING. You don't have it so bad.

[Sinlaw]

Well it's very simple. Take it easy or you'll feel like its taking even longer for u to get what your looking for. Relationships can be great but not if u force one. U only had sex three times, believe me once u find the guy that paints u as a perfect picture, one night of intimacy will feel like a thousand years in heaven.