I feel like a monster

[jmantra]

I haven't spoken to my ex in months and i decided to call her to see how her holidays went and say hi, well it turns out my number is barred! We ended on good terms as far as I know and like I said I haven't spoken to her in months so it's not like I was stalking her. But the fact that she blocked my number makes me feel like some sort of monster. If she doesn't want anything to do with me, I can deal with that and move on, but I wish she would just be frank with me. I can't stand dishonesty and ambiguity, if she would just tell me why I will leave her alone and cease contact. One thing she is engaged I am not sure that has anything to do with it, maybe she just wants to put the past behind her and cease contact, but I wish she would just let me know. I am not some psycho stalker but she made me feel like one today.

[Biffy]

Hey jman...

 

Ouch, that cou;dn't have been pleasant.

 

May I ask who did the dumping?

[jmantra]

I did, but I did it because I felt she was growing distant we were in LD relationship (she's in England, I am Pennsylvania, USA) it was hard to see each other so i decided it was best to end it. She said she wanted to remain friends so I said ok. I kind of miss her though, not as a g/f but I really enjoyed talking to her. She's a great person. I am just not sure what provoked her to do that? Even if it does have something to do with her fiancee I wish she would just let me know, barring my number seems extreme to me as if I was threatening her or something

[Beec]

jman623, it could be for any number of reasons. I have an ex who works in the building next to my office. It ended with in in April 2004, when she lied to me, right in my face. Last year, I was nice and sent a card for her birthday, etc. This year, we passed each other a few times. Everytime, she ignored me. Once, she acted like she was talking on her phone. Another time, she changed directions. Then a little over a month ago, we were leaving at the same time headed in different directions, passing each other. She came walking up to me with a big smile and began talking. I think all she wanted to do was rub in my face that she was married and pregnant. Great for her, really, I was and am happy for her. But I am also happy for me that I am not the guy to whom she is married.

[keefy1972]

Regardless of what you feel, she did this for a reason, my friend. Too pursue it any further to find out why, would be a bit like stalking, I think.

[keefy1972]

Of course you may never find out why. That's the sad reality of it.

[Biffy]

It could be the fiance being a bit over-the-top jealous and telling her to bar all ex's from contacting you... could be that it hurt her too much being your friend... tough to say.

 

Maybe she came on here and was instructed to initiate strict NC??

 

Whenever I've been the dumper in the past I've always stayed away from the ex in question as I know how * * * * it is to be contacted by your ex.

 

However she said she wanted to remain friends so I think it's a bit weak to block your number without at least telling you she doesn't want to hear from you again.

 

You sure it's your phone in particular that's blocked and not international calls or something?

[xmrth]

I think her blocking your number is to do exactly that-- to make it so that there is no contact at all. It's really not that extreme and I think it's good she did it if she was done with the relationship entirely. She probably didn't want to get into a confusing situation like what you contacting her now would have caused. Definitely leave it alone-- don't try contacting her any other way seeing what you did. You didn't do anything; the relationship's over and she's moved on. It should make it easier for the two of you.

[jmantra]

lol how bout that and women complain men are mean? hippocrits, sorry for the anger ladies but I am really hurt and frustrated right now

[jmantra]

Regardless of what you feel, she did this for a reason, my friend. Too pursue it any further to find out why, would be a bit like stalking, I think.

 

So trying to find out the reason someone says one thing and does another is stalking??? I don't think so. Blocking my number is a bit extreme IMO and I'd atleast like to know why... if she tells me to F off I can deal with that and move on.

[annie24]

I think she just wanted to make sure that there was NO CONTACT at all, so she could heal and get over you. Maybe she is already healed, but forgotten to unblock your number. that is what happens.

[keefy1972]

Sorry if I offended you, but my point is that you may never find out why she did it and you've got to accept that. She doesn't owe you, nor is she obligated, to explain the decisions she makes in her own life. That's all I'm saying.

[meantime]

Hi I was sad to read your post. Two weeks ago I changed my number so my ex could no longer contact me. We parted on good terms but it was just so easy for him to be with me out to dinner or to call and catch up and I would go home or hang up the phone and be messed up for days. I told him a few times I think for me it would be best if we only contact each other in emergencies and he agreed but that was not the case he would send texts at 2am telling me he was sad and that he missed me, but still he did not want to try anymore, we were together three years and we tried really hard to make something that was just wrong, right.

 

I changed my number and he got it already, he left two messages and I felt awful and sad but if I respond I will continually be here, where I am now, trying so hard to move on.

 

Please don't feel like a monster, and I hope my ex does not feel like one either, sometimes people need to do what is best for them. Forgive her for it, she did what she felt she had to do for whatever reason. None of which, I am sure has anything to do with you being a monster. I did it because I needed to take better care of myself. I hope he just will forgive me for it too.

[confusedangel]

well blocking ur number so she doesnt know if u call so that she wouldn't be tempted to call back is a good reason. now if she dint and u call and she ignores ur call, thats even worse!

[jmantra]

Thanks for the insight meantime made me a feel a bit better about my situation. I was quite baffled and hurt when I called her this morning. I emailed her this morning asking what was up, I tried to be nice about it of course, but whether she gives me an explanation or not, i think doing what she did was more about her than it was about me and was probably for the best.

 

 

Thank you all for the advice you've all been wonderful.