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I broke up with my first love 2 weeks ago, although it feels like he's broken up with me. He started drinking alcohol and his priorites changed from us to spending nights out drinking with his friends and going to parties.

We began arguing constantly, and after 2 years, decided on a split.


I thought I'd cope fine. But my appetite has completely vanished, i can't put food in my mouth without heaving. I'm always checking his darn myspace! He's already showing interest in one particular girl and it looks as though they'll both be together soon.


I wish i could move on, i reallywant to. But i find myself constantly sitting up at night with him on my mind. The thought of him with another girl makes me feel physically sick. I wish i could get him out of my head!!!! It's like a drug. I feel like i've forgotten who i really am and just feel like this crazy woman! I'm too embarrassed to seek professional help, but i really can't cope in this state of mind.

It's been NC now for 1 week and i'm soooo tempted to text him, it's insane!


Any ideas?

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It's only been 2 weeks. That's not really very long in the larger scheme of things. So, of course, you're still sifting through the emotional fallout of the break-up.


Technology has spoiled us. For those under a certain age, you don't remember a time when things weren't instant, open 24/7, and what you wanted when you wanted. While these things have made life more convienent (and I certainly wouldn't want to go back to, say, snail-mailing my bills), they tend to make us think that physical and emotional healing should be instantaneous, too.


That's not the case. The heart and spirit will take the time they take to heal...and the key IS time.


By all means, if you feel you could benefit from some counseling, then go. I suspect, though, that what you're experiencing is still well within the range of "normal" after a break-up. If you're still like this in a month or two (or longer), that might be a bit much. But, then again, we all have our own timetable for healing.


Have you tried doing the time-honored things to help yourself? Remember: Distraction Is Your Friend. Take a class, find a new hobby, get a make-over, let your girlfriends help you by keeping you busy, plan a vacation, pick up a part time job....those are all things I've done when I've been post-break-up. And while I may not have been 100% into them at the time, looking back, they were therapy in their own right.

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