Should I tell a friend's family that her overdose was a suicide attempt?

[TxRedheadGuy]

Yesterday a friend of mine Marie (yes the same Marie from my previous posts) overdosed on pain pills, sleeping pills and liquor. Her family is under the impression that it was simply an overdose, but I spent the 3 days prior trying to talk her out of suicide and into getting some help. She is currently in a coma, and I am wondering if I should tell the family that her OD was a suicide attempt, and show her family copies of the correspondance where I tried to talk her out of it so that they can get her help if she pulls out of this coma?

Had she not survived, I would definitely keep this to myself, but since she did survive I want her to get the help she needs - I just don't know if I should bring this bad news to the family.

[GQstatus]

Yes, I think you should definitely tell them. I went through something similar in high school with a good friend. She took a bottle of tylenol before coming to school. I was what you would call a "rebel" and often just went home after being dropped off (both parents worked away from home). She told me she wasn't feeling well, and I told her she could come hang out at my place.

 

She went straight to sleep when we got there, as did I. I woke up a hour or two later and tried to wake her up to ask if she wanted somethin to eat. It took me literally shaking her to wake her up, she tried to stand and fell over. I freaked out, called 911 and she was rushed to ER.

 

They pumped her stomache, and the doctor told me had I not gotten help she would of been dead in a couple hours.

 

These types of things cannot be taken lightly. She's not just crying out for help anymore, she wants to end her life. I think you telling her parents, can possibly save her life. Let them know about her previous attempts, and how she really needs some professional help. Good luck.

[Dako]

She's in a coma. At this point her family must be reeling with the burdens they have.

Showing them documented evidence of her suffering right now wouldn't help anyone. What if she fails to fully recover? Your information would only bring more pain to these people.

 

I'd allow them to cope with the task at hand, and just hope she recovers enough to respond to any help she requires. At that time, your info would certainly reinforce what the doctors must surely suspect. Professionals deal with this enough to recognize a suicide attempt, at least by the volume of drugs found in the stomach left undigested. You could tip them off that she's at risk on her own.

 

I hope she recovers and finds answers.

Best of luck to you, as well.

 

Edit:

I understand the need to immediately inform when the person is a risk to themself or not under medical care.

I spent 24 hours sharing an ER room with a fellow who swallowed a huge array of pills to end it all. The docs had a detailed list of the drugs in his stomach in a few hours. They treated him as a suicide attempt from the time he arrived.

[Newo Ikkin]

I'm so sorry to hear this has happened, to both you and her. And without saying, her family too.

 

I suggest you DO alert the people you need to. The lass needs help that you cant provide for her alone.

 

I wish you the best.

[arwen]

I agree with the others. You can contact them yourself, but you can also call a hotline for suicide and ask for advise on how to approach them. If she is a danger to herself, my guess is that her parents want to know that. I understand it's difficult because it may feel like you are betraying her in a sense. Friends do not do what is wanted, they do what is necessary. Sometimes those are not the same things.

 

Ilse

[Bethany]

She's in a coma. At this point her family must be reeling with the burdens they have.

Showing them documented evidence of her suffering right now wouldn't help anyone. What if she fails to fully recover? Your information would only bring more pain to these people.

 

I'd allow them to cope with the task at hand, and just hope she recovers enough to respond to any help she requires. At that time, your info would certainly reinforce what the doctors must surely suspect. Professionals deal with this enough to recognize a suicide attempt, at least by the volume of drugs found in the stomach left undigested. You could tip them off that she's at risk on her own.

 

I'm with Dako on this one. But talk to professionals if you are in any doubt.

[TxRedheadGuy]

I feel as if I let her down horribly as a friend. Many times during those days before I thought about contacting her family and telling them my concerns, but was afraid she would feel I betrayed her trust if I did and that the best thing I could do was just be there to let her know she was cared about, so I just tried to talk her out of it and be there by her side as long as it took.

[Managor]

Don't feel horrible, you want to be someone she can put her trust in, there's nothing wrong with that. You didn't know what was going to happen. I agree with Dako, hopefully when she comes out of the coma and has recovered enough, it might be good to tell those in her family who she's closest to.

[NKP]

Tell the doctor who is looking after her, and ask him what he thinks you should do. But i think you should tell them i think they have a right to know, what really happened to her.

 

Well hope she will be okay

[_Jaffa_]

Anyone that takes an overdose is automatically considered a suicide attempt until proven otherwise. They just range from being non serious atempts to extremely serious attempts. Your friend is obviously an extremely serious attmpt and will thereforeeee be considered at great risk of attempting again and the necessary precautions/treatments will be put into place when/if she recovers.

 

I can tell you that although you feel guilty there is nothing you could have said that would have stopped her from a serious attempt. When you're that far into that mindset there isn't a way back and you have to go through with it.

[Bethany]

I feel as if I let her down horribly as a friend. Many times during those days before I thought about contacting her family and telling them my concerns, but was afraid she would feel I betrayed her trust if I did and that the best thing I could do was just be there to let her know she was cared about, so I just tried to talk her out of it and be there by her side as long as it took.

 

All we can do is be there and try our best when someone is suicidal and that's what you did with Marie... you were there and you did your best.

 

Of course if you had known, you would have taken action but you DIDN'T KNOW, not for sure.

 

You did what you thought was right at the time and you did your best. It's NOT your fault.

[Dako]

TRG

 

Talking to suicidal people and trying to help is an intimate matter.

Betraying that trust can push someone over the edge by alienating her from the one person who seems to understand.

 

You aren't the cause. PLease don't beat yourself up. You were doing your best without benefit of hindsight.

[mitch17]

telling the parents might set her off to go all the way, she might get out raged do the worse. u should see if she has changed from the OD and see if she has realised life is a valuable thing, if she hasnt realised that then tell the parents.

[jengh]

How is your friend doing? Did you decide what to do yet? I wish her the best.

 

 

This past January, I was in a severe depression. I wanted to die. I ODed on painkillers, sleeping pills, alcohol, blood pressure meds... if my roommate wouldn't have come home early I'd have died for sure... However, no one told my parents it was a suicide attempt. I certainly didn't. I was too embarrassed that I didn't succeed. Now, had they been informed, it would have saved a lot of hassle. I tried again 2 weeks later, same method. This time, my mother found me. She knew. I wound up having bad heart complications and seizures and to this day still feel the side effects (my heart occasionally hurts, I twitch terribly at random).... After my parents knew (my dad works with psych patients), my dad court ordered me to a facility. That facility probably saved my life.

 

 

So, I guess what I'm trying to say is perhaps RIGHT NOW isn't the best time to tell her parents, just in case...but if she comes out of the coma and is on a path to recovery, I would inform her parents or husband or whoever. They could be in denial.

[NigaleCross]

You need to tell them. Otherwise, you will be getting ready for a funeral real soon.

[johnaintdoe]

remember, a mad friend is better than a dead friend.