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Managor

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Everything posted by Managor

  1. somebloke, I think the examples you gave are fairly uncommon exceptions to the norm; I don't doubt any of what you said, but like you said I think they're very good rules of thumb, and I think it's usually pretty smart and safe to go with these ideas.
  2. I'll pass all that onto her sophie, thanks
  3. schizo: I'd be an odd one if she hadn't asked me for help and advice! spirits: She has a good reason, which is a little too private for me to say here, so that's why she's only now trying to fix it up. I think she does plenty of exercise already, but I'll mention that regardless!
  4. One of my female friends has a habit of staying up far too late at nighttime and misses out on a proper sleep most nights since she has to be up for classes early in the morning. I'd really appreciate some advice I can give her on how she can make sure she's asleep by midnight every night without exception. She's told me and I've noticed too that most nights that she stays up too late are when she's talking to friends online, especially when she's feeling depressed. I can't wait for some replies >_ Thanks in advance
  5. Haha, great question. I probably would, because I'm just that desperate ;]
  6. Not always. You could get to know someone as a friend first, and then become attracted to them because of their personality, regardless of looks. Looks then personality is mainly only the case if the first thing you do when you see someone of the opposite sex is wonder if you could date them.
  7. I'd agree with Annie and others who said it wasn't rape. She should have made him put a condom on before he began penetrating her.
  8. My parents aren't really penny pinchers; my Dad used to have a half decent job so it wasn't necessary, but I think they brought me up trying to get me to value money and not waste it or spend it too readily, and it worked too well. Childhood experiences could have made it worse too, or just been a result, I'm not sure I'm going to go with having a weekly forced allowance (see last paragraph), and might try and force myself to see a psychologist about it as well as I'm sure they'll have some valuable insight too! I've tried budgeting before. I don't know exactly what happened but I ended up deciding there wasn't anything I needed to spend money on.. It doesn't work for me, I just can't really manage to plan to spend money unless I have to. I think, next year, I'll try to give myself spending money each week, and if I don't spend it by the end of the week, it goes into a collective sum towards a new phone, mp3 player, holiday or something else, I'll try and decide what I need the most. When the pot gets full I buy whatever I was saving up for... Thanks again for all your help ^^
  9. I'm really glad at least one other person has actually been in my position, almost everyone seems to have the opposite problem, and spends too much. Those questions are all too familiar, unfortunately. Setting a date is another good idea, I have a $70 store credit for a PC store that expires in two days, since I've been there several times and have walked out empty handed and now am hitting a deadline set by someone else, so I'll be forced to buy something tomorrow or Saturday. Luckily I've never been in the position where I've run out of money, I've been like this as far as I can remember (I recall when I was about 8, I lost $2 in the sand at a beach and spent hours looking for it *sigh*). Not spending money leaves you with a pretty full bank account, so even though I don't have a job at the moment (am at university) I don't think I'll be in the position anytime soon of having run out of money.
  10. The money accumulates in a bank account indefinitely I'm consciously well aware that I spend ridiculously too little, that I value money a lot more than I should and time not half as much as I should, but I still behave this way out of some fear or compulsion or something, I'm not sure. Even when I know I should spend the money, for example when I bought the computer, it takes a hell of a lot of convincing myself before I can do it. Oh and don't apologise for posting so much, I really appreciate the advice and help
  11. That's something else I'll have to think about a lot before I can reply, I honestly hadn't thought about letting someone else do the spending for me, but it's a risky thing to do. I'll put some thought into it. I think they go hand in hand, and I don't think my indecisiveness extends to anything except money; at least I can't think of any examples where I've been indecisive and it hasn't involved money. Maybe career and job choices, but that still loosely revolves around money. I've never gotten any excitement or thrill out of spending or saving money, no, but I see why you asked that, but that's not it EDIT: I noticed this was moved to Career, Money and Education, where it should have been in the first place (I forgot about that forum). Thanks anonymous moderator!
  12. The age of consent in Utah is 16 for women and 18 for men. It is perfectly legal. It would actually still be legal if she were 14 or 15, given that he's only two years older.
  13. Thanks for all the replies I assume you mean to the shops or other places where money can be spent? That's a good idea, though I'd be pretty uncomfortable, I've never actually gone shopping for anything other than clothes, and that was always by myself because anyone else couldn't stand my indecisiveness Most people have the opposite problem, my attitude towards spending money is nothing to envy, spending too little or too much can be equally bad, and worrying about whether or not to buy something leaves me feeling awfully anxious and annoyed at myself. The idea of a budget is good, but I'm not scared of spending too much. Each time I want to spend anything it's instantly a problem. I'm kind of just thinking to myself now, but if I force myself to spend *at least* a certain amount of money on, say, vacations over some time period, that might work... But I'd probably find I wouldn't be able to stick to it, and would put it off or something of the like. I'd really love to go on a holiday, I've tried to make plans in the past to go to both Europe and to the US, and I know I'd enjoy myself. I guess I could try to put myself in the position of having to make financial choices in the company or concerning other people, and that might solve the problem in some situations, but most of the time the problem comes with spending money on myself; things I want and need. Even the holidays would probably be just me flying over to another country, since half the reason would be to meet up with long distance friends (and perhaps bum around at their places for parts of the trip to save myself having to get a hotel room; I really am a lost cause so I think I have to help myself here. They really aren't good spending habits. Good spending habits would be spending 5x as much as I do, which would still be less than the average person spends. I can't help but place relatively no value on my time, convenience, and I guess general happiness, just to save a few dollars here and there. I've always been indecisive but it's worst when dealing with money. Also, reading your last paragraph, I have a feeling you've assumed I'm a girl, I get that a lot for some bizarre reason Again, the idea of giving myself spending money is a really good idea, I'll try and plan out how I could put it into practice.
  14. Strangely enough, my problem is that I can't get myself to spend money. If it's a necessity, for example train tickets or food, where I don't have a choice, then I'll buy the cheapest train ticket or the cheapest food that's convenient, but most of the time I can't get myself to spend anything, even paying for little things, to the point where it's an unhealthy habit. For example, it took me months of looking for the lowest price, and even more time to convince myself before I bought myself a computer. And for years I've thought about going on holiday to another country but the two thousand dollar price tag has always put me off it. This has been a problem for me for as long as I can remember, and it's not an issue of not having the money to spend. Since I've never really spent any money and have had jobs in the past I have money to spend. Whenever I'm in a situation where I could end up spending some money I'll usually start to panic a lot and begin to feel very nervous. However, if I'm in a situation where I have to spend money on someone else, I usually don't have any problem with that. It's not as easy as just getting used to spending money or anything similar, I honestly don't know how to get over this problem I have. Any advice is very much appreciated
  15. Don't feel horrible, you want to be someone she can put her trust in, there's nothing wrong with that. You didn't know what was going to happen. I agree with Dako, hopefully when she comes out of the coma and has recovered enough, it might be good to tell those in her family who she's closest to.
  16. That may be so, and I agree it should be her choice who she wants to be in a relationship with (a choice she's made, no doubt). I was just disagreeing with the idea that he's being selfish. I think a lot of people feel that way when they have feelings for someone, and what's more they'll often try and put the other person's feelings above their own; it doesn't necessarily make them selfish people. EDIT: Anyway, I'm sorry MRJ. If someone's in a relationship, there isn't much hope you can have.
  17. Unless he thinks she'd be happier with him than who she's with is at the moment.
  18. It's more overly hopeful than selfish. I doubt he wants her to be unhappy, ever.
  19. I'm interested in getting tested for a few mental disorders as well, but I also could never afford multiple visits to a psychiatrist, even though it would mean a lot for me to find out what, if any, disorders I have. I do have access to free psychologists, though, just not psychiatrists (and am well aware psychologists aren't trained in diagnosing disorders), so any suggestions for those of us who can't afford a psychiatrist? I've looked through books over symptoms but it's still very difficult and subjective to self diagnose.
  20. While there's a possibility she'll lose interest in the guy, break up with him, then become interested in a relationship with you, like TRQ said the chances are so small. I can fully emphasize with you on feeling like someone is the perfect person, but having feelings for someone tends to do that, and you'll probably think the same about another girl in a few years time. I think there are reasons why telling her directly, and hinting it through flirting are both questionable ideas given that she has a boyfriend, but we can't stop you from doing either. Just know that there's a good chance you'll be unsuccessful, most unfortunately
  21. I haven't looked at other threads you've made, so apologies if you've already done this, but I think what you should be focusing on is how to stop the emotional pain in the first place. If it's so bad that you're almost cutting yourself over it then it's very serious. In some ways, cutting yourself *is* a drug, the cut causes neuro-chemicals to be released in your brain etc, to make you feel happy - at least in the short term. Like every other addiction, it'll give you short moments of happiness but overall it's a horrible thing to do. Try talking to people about your problems, or other physical solutions such as the rubber band idea, going for a run or similar things.
  22. You mentioned before thinking about letting her know you're interested. I think that's a good idea, but I don't think hitting on her is the way to do it. If you hit on her once she might not know what to make of it, and you might find it very difficult to permanently back off.
  23. You've already said you don't want to take things too far, so you're making all the right choices. Just let her know you want to take things slowly, and why
  24. Obviously she doesn't think he's a fool, so you can't put your opinion of everyone (her being the one for you and him being an idiot) above everyone else's. If it takes her years to come to her senses he can't be as bad as you claim. Be there for her, as a friend, but by hitting on her and not supporting her choices you're not much better than the other guy.
  25. There are a lot of things in life with chances less than one in a million that could ruin someone's life, so I don't think you should let a very slim chance of pregnancy be the only thing stopping you two from progressing. Besides, an unexpected pregnancy is hardly guaranteed to ruin someone's life. Also there are plenty of further countermeasures in case a pregnancy did happen, though I'm sure I'd be yelled at by people here if I ever suggested abortion or similar notions.
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