SexySadie7 Posted December 10, 2006 Share Posted December 10, 2006 Hi.. I might get together tonite wiht this guy i've known for a while. We were getting along really good there when all of a sudden he started acting really flakey on me. He's not called me in a week or so.. so if I do go over to his place.. how should I act? I am thinking of just acting very casual and not acting like i care... I did tell him on the phone today I wanted to see him and he's suggested we get together tonite to go do something. I dunno.. he's been kinda a jerk to me lately.. so I am partly going over there just to scope him out.. to see if he's just been a jerk on that one occasion.. or he's just not that nice a guy. I really had wanted to see him badly the last few weeks, but now if he's not that interested in me.. I think I'd rather know now rather than keep thinking bout this guy. I do have other options as far as dating, so it's not like i'm god-awful ugly. Link to comment
BeStrongBeHappy Posted December 10, 2006 Share Posted December 10, 2006 you should ask him what is wrong... i.e., why fine, and now acting like he's not interested... he could have found someone new he is also dating, or else he could have been sick, or worried about something etc. it doesn't hurt to communicate about this first, to see if it is something that has nothing to do with you... but if he has just dropped his guard now and is showing his true self (i.e., his true self is jerky), then start going out with someone else instead. Link to comment
Honey Pumpkin Posted December 10, 2006 Share Posted December 10, 2006 Hi.. I might get together tonite wiht this guy i've known for a while. We were getting along really good there when all of a sudden he started acting really flakey on me. He's not called me in a week or so.. so if I do go over to his place.. how should I act? Has he given you a reason for not getting in touch with you this last week? He's not focused on you, could be for a number of reasons, seeing other women, work, not that interested, stressed etc. But if you hadn't got in touch with him, do you think he would have called/contacted you? I am thinking of just acting very casual and not acting like i care... I did tell him on the phone today I wanted to see him and he's suggested we get together tonite to go do something. I dunno.. he's been kinda a jerk to me lately.. so I am partly going over there just to scope him out.. to see if he's just been a jerk on that one occasion.. or he's just not that nice a guy. I'd give him one last chance, because you like him so much - but it would be very much a last chance. If you do see him, be yourself (being angry about him being flaky but not saying anything isn't going to help!), see if you have a nice time. Personally, I would keep it casual - no sex, no heavy stuff, possibly not much of a kiss. See if he wants to see you again - if he doesn't, give it up as a bad job. Link to comment
SexySadie7 Posted December 10, 2006 Author Share Posted December 10, 2006 I don't know what to think. I even sent him a card asking him why he was being so distant...I am not even sure he got it though... But if he keeps acting like a jerk (he was nice before the last time.. but the last time. he really acted like a jerk.. i think you are right. i'm just going to chaulk it up to the fact he's a jerk.. isn't interested.. has someone else on the side.. (though that's all conjecture). He's also got sort of a brutal work schedule.. so half the time I see him, he's tired. I'm going to keep it casual. no expecatations..we'll see..... I did act a bit flakey too before last time i saw him. I actually saw a guy that looked quite a bit like him.. and called him to ask why he wasnt' speaking to me! LOL.. i guess i came off as flakey. but honestly. this guy has a dead ringer to him! He even sounded like my friend.. well.. c'est la vie.. if he's not interested. then i'm not interested anymore in wasting time on thinking of him. If he's that uninterested. .it's ridiculous to waste my time on him. he's not that great looking.. well. he is good looking... maybe that's why he thinks he can get away acting like this.. But looks only go so far, don't you agree? If your personality sucks.. why even bother hanging out with that person? Link to comment
SexySadie7 Posted December 10, 2006 Author Share Posted December 10, 2006 I was thinking of just giving him a friendly hug when we met up.. Just to keep things light.. and to show him I still like him. I dunno. if i'd be that distant to a guest of mine. i'd be embarrassed myself.... we'll see... Link to comment
Relationship Coach Posted December 10, 2006 Share Posted December 10, 2006 If he was interested in you, he'd be in touch. If you end up at his place it may be for nothing more than a booty call! Stop wasting your time on someone who is not willing to give you theirs. RC Link to comment
messageman2323 Posted December 10, 2006 Share Posted December 10, 2006 Bottom line is that if he had interest and was into you, he would make the effort and be in contact. Even more so because he is a guy and that is often our social role in dating (to be the pursuer). I am in a similar situation with a girl I have gone on a half a dozen dates great dates with her. But lately she has been flakey and is always busy. I had decided to leave it up to her to call me. If they can't make that little effort, they are not interested, nor worth our time. See him one more time if you want. But leave it up to him to contact you and setup future dates. I wish you the best of luck. Link to comment
silentalways Posted December 10, 2006 Share Posted December 10, 2006 regarding sexy s's post about meeting and calling - go for it. u'll probably have a great, relaxing time and wonder later why u were fussing - u know the interest is already there - maybe he was training for a marathon and he's just a tad tuckered out. nothing wrong with some quiet couch time - i wonder if 'what not to wear' is on tonight? crap, did i just post a gurlie thing on here Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 310 I don't know what to think. I even sent him a card asking him why he was being so distant...I am not even sure he got it though... But if he keeps acting like a jerk (he was nice before the last time.. but the last time. he really acted like a jerk.. i think you are right. i'm just going to chaulk it up to the fact he's a jerk.. isn't interested.. has someone else on the side.. (though that's all conjecture). He's also got sort of a brutal work schedule.. so half the time I see him, he's tired. I'm going to keep it casual. no expecatations..we'll see..... I did act a bit flakey too before last time i saw him. I actually saw a guy that looked quite a bit like him.. and called him to ask why he wasnt' speaking to me! LOL.. i guess i came off as flakey. but honestly. this guy has a dead ringer to him! He even sounded like my friend.. well.. c'est la vie.. if he's not interested. then i'm not interested anymore in wasting time on thinking of him. If he's that uninterested. .it's ridiculous to waste my time on him. he's not that great looking.. well. he is good looking... maybe that's why he thinks he can get away acting like this.. But looks only go so far, don't you agree? If your personality sucks.. why even bother hanging out with that person? Link to comment
SexySadie7 Posted December 10, 2006 Author Share Posted December 10, 2006 I dunno.. now i should be calling him and see what time that movie starts.. we were supposed to go see a movie.. but i'm getting cold feet. I hate this! Yeah. i dont know.. unless he reverts back to the nice cool friendly guy I met with in the first place. this will probably be the last date for him..... I'm not into being someone's doormat... and if he's this lazy.. later for him.. He's not up to my standards if he's going to act like this anyway. I want a gentleman, not a cad for a companion. There will be no booty call. i've decided... let him get a taste of his own medicine... I don't even know if i should bother hugging him.. Link to comment
SexySadie7 Posted December 10, 2006 Author Share Posted December 10, 2006 alright.. well. i just called him.. he sounds actually friendly.. i guess we won't go to the movie cuz he won't get back from xmas shopping in time.. but he still wants me to come over... For some reason I've spent the last 2 hours in tears.. just thinking about stuff.. he's really not paid much attention to me at all in the last 2 weeks. Yeah. i am gonna care like i don't give a flip about him... I'll just go hang out and watch a movie, then come home... Geez.. he wasn't sure what time he was going to be home.. so he told me just to sit outside his place if he was late.. Man.. if it's 35 degrees outside. i'm sure not gonna want to stay out there for long... Maybe i should take MYSELF to a movie instead. Anyone see THE HOLIDAY.. i'm dying to see that movie... Link to comment
SexySadie7 Posted December 10, 2006 Author Share Posted December 10, 2006 There will be NO booty call tonite.. He'll be lucky to get a hug from me.. he's not been too nice to me lately.. there will be no late night sex. That priviledge goes to a guy who treats me nicely.... I sure hope he's not expecting sex....there won't be any... I was all excited yesterday about spending time with him.. but you know what? I'm going to see how he treats me before I would even think of going that far with him... I'll probably be home early.. or.. i could go out and hang out and play music with some friends.. If he's hateful.. that will definitely be Plan B! Link to comment
Relationship Coach Posted December 11, 2006 Share Posted December 11, 2006 Be on the lookout for some good acting on his part, if he wants you to come over he is willing to put on his "nice guy" act to get what he wants. This has booty call written all over it! He wants you to wait outside???? What a jerk...and you shed tears for this guy? Why are you doing this to yourself? You're playing right in to his game here. Wise up, you deserve better! RC Link to comment
Tracy21 Posted December 11, 2006 Share Posted December 11, 2006 I recommmend the book called why men love (female dog) trust me you won't regret it. I was the same way as you! you should not be calling him after he acts like that let him do the chasing not you because he thinks he's got you where he wants, he thinks/knows you will do anything just to see him . YOu just mentioned how he said if he is late from whatever he was doing, wait for him OUTSIDE his place. What kind of guy who respects/adores his girl would make her wait outside wether it's hot or cold!!!! yeah call him and tell himYOU can't hang out with him you have something else going on and can't see him. Trust me, see how he acts..... Link to comment
SexySadie7 Posted December 11, 2006 Author Share Posted December 11, 2006 what is the name of the book? Yeah.. i ended up going there so late I didn't have to wait.. not that I was going to anyway. Well. he was really nice last night to me. I think I just have to relax and like you say.. he him do the chasing. Link to comment
Tracy21 Posted December 12, 2006 Share Posted December 12, 2006 THe book is called WHY MEN LOVE (FEMALE DOGS) ! i CAN'T WRITE THE ACTUAL TITLE BECAUSE MY POST WOULD PROBABLY BE TAKEN DOWN BECAUSE OF PROFANITY. THATS THE BEST I CAN COME UP WITH! I HOPE YOU GET IT! IF SOMEONE GETS IT PLEASE LET HER KNOW READ THE TITLE AND THINK!! THIS SUCKS Link to comment
SexySadie7 Posted December 12, 2006 Author Share Posted December 12, 2006 Oh!!!! I have that book btw! LOL.. i probably bought it after being treated like DIRT by this guy i dated who had recently divorced. I don't know but someone tell me why it is that divorced guys treat women the worst??? Everytime I date a divorced guy... it's like i couldn't be in a worse relationship. The level of selfishness....lack of honestly, caring...consideration...it's amazing..... Link to comment
Lansing Posted December 12, 2006 Share Posted December 12, 2006 umm.. there is probly a reason why he is divorced! Link to comment
Batya33 Posted December 12, 2006 Share Posted December 12, 2006 I would see him but in a public place only - not at his place because you risk giving the wrong impression/signals. Link to comment
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