Teenage discontent and a morbid love affair.

[EmptySoul]

This needs to be in journals because I'm not asking for advice. But I already put it in this section so...

 

I'm just writing. My stupidity and addiction to self-destruction will probably just make you angry...

 

Monday me and a friend took 3 xanax. We hadn't used it very much before, so neither of us can really remember much. We had to ask everyone else what happened.

 

I passed out on the bus ride to my afternoon classes, had to be practically carried to the vo-tec school because I couldn't walk. I tripped over a table and when I bent down to pick up the papers I dropped, I fell over. I fell down more than once in the hallway. I passed out in class. When the substitute finally told me she was going to walk me to the counselor, I had to hold on to the wall. When I got back to my school I had to go to the principal's because the vo-tec school had already called him. They looked in my shoes, my pockets, my purse, everything in my purse. I said I was just really tired, and when they called my parents, I told my mom the same thing. The rest of the night was pretty much the same, slurring words and tripping over everything. All I remember of the entire day is taking the pills, tripping over a table, a white blur that was the substitute, the principal making me take off my shoes, my grandpa, and passing out again at 9pm.

 

My friend who took the pills...he had pretty much the same results at school, except he didn't get sent to the counselors' or anything. But I guess when he saw me going off to the principal's when school was about over, he flipped out. He woke up the next day with cuts on his arm he didn't remember doing, he'd wrecked his moms' new jeep, driving through a ditch and hitting a tree. And then he tried to hang himself, because he felt responsible for whatever trouble I was in. Luckily the rope broke. He said it seemed like a reasonable thing to do at the time.

 

Then we come back to school, and pick a day to medicate ourselves again.

 

We kill ourselves for just a little bit of happiness, or I guess, just oblivion.

 

-E.

[melrich]

You know how dangerous taking pills can be, I don't have to tell you that. I don't have to tell you where this can potentially take your life, you probably know that too.

 

I just hope you understand and what you are potentially giving up. I hope there are some good people around you who will step in.

 

Good luck.

[rose2summer]

EmptySoul-

 

I know it may be "cool" or "in" to participate in dangerous activities with your friends, but this is so dangerous for your body.

 

Even if you don't overdose to the point of death, you can have liver damage, kidney damage, strokes, comas, and the list goes on.

 

We are here to help you along through your recovery.

 

Hugs, Rose

[Dako]

Lecture from old fart, coming up.

 

Those activities may be exciting, but when you aren't in a youthful turmoil, they'll embarrass the crap out of you. Being in school is the most precious thing you have, and you're wasting it on the urge to self-destruct.

 

I dropped out of school in a druggy haze and years later, regret it with each step of my life. I'm not one of those uptight folks who never made a mistake and look down their nose at you. I understand the need to blow off the pressure and rigidity of authority, but there are ways that won't cost you your life or future.

 

You can channel it into something safe, by skydiving or surfing or boxing.

Drugs are a stupid way to die. I lost some fine friends that way.

 

Lecture over. Now you can laugh derisively, as I once did.

[NKP]

Hey hun i know you have heard people saying thats stupid and get help but i am not going to waste my time and your time by giving you a Lecture. All i am going to say is that I CARE, and i hate seeing you hurt yourself.

[LONESOUL]

HI Empty Soul,

A bunch of the younger guys I work with take xanax to get off as well.

They talk to me allot about it, I guess they feel I can relate because I don't judge I just listen. I took them

for a while myself but they were prescribed to me after a break up. I no longer take them. The truth is, they pretty much did to me, what they did

to you~they made me groggy as hell. I remember very little, and I took smaller doses then you. Where's the thrill in it though? I mean you get groogy and do things that are crazy that you don't remember? One of the guys I work with burned a huge tattoo in his arm of a "j" (his name starts with C, and his wife's name starts with K...and yeah he's married, he's 18 and has a baby on the way.) with a hot safety pin. It's huge, about 6 inches long and 4 inches wide. He remembers nothing but the next morning it was so infected

they had to put him on antibiotic at the doctor and they may have to peel his the rest of the skin around the area and graft. That just doesn't sound like much fun to me.

 

I agree with Dako, to many better ways to get a thrill, and if you use one them you may actually even remember getting the thrill.

 

Take Good Care,

Lone