Good Guy vs Jerk...Girls Tell me...

[mikeca]

There is only one man I have ever really loved on that level that is more than just very good friends with a whole lot of sexual compatibility.

that man is NOT a jerk... he is kind, loving, sweet and intelligent.

He is the best partner anyone could ever hope for and I love him so much I let him go becuase I know I am not right for him.

 

 

 

so the nice guy loses, im sure he loved you alot and to lose you hurt him greatly.

[Anastasia_Mixali]

It depends on the girl-no two girls are the same. I have been attracted to hot jerks before, but for a long-term relationship, I would only date a nice guy. It depends both on the personality and maturity of the woman

[lovereality]

](*,) We woman suffer these similiar questions about men. Neither gender will ever figure this out about one another.

Finding someone who is content with being single is very attractive;whether your a nice guy or a moron/jerk. I will never complain about how a man treats me; I'll just leave if I don't like it. I truly believe that a woman's relationship with her father is most important in how her relationship with men will be for her (in most cases). And this stems true for men also. I have dated men who's relationship with their mother's were crappy. They couldn't commit, couldn't communicate, and couldn't accept the fact that woman are worth loving. I have dated men who's relationship with their mother was wonderful. They "also" couldn't commit...but they tried, they communicated much better, AND they accepted the fact that woman ARE worth loving (and being nice to). Having experienced this... I look for a man that has a loving relationship with; not only just his family but especially his mother.

My perspective is this: look at all the games that little girls play or wished they had, if you can. Remember? "kidnapped and rescued" is one I know little girls play most often. What about the movies they enjoy? Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty and Snow White. I remember wanting to be the heroine and my hero would come to rescue me. I, as other women felt before, simply love feeing wanted and fought for. All the movies we onced loved as little girls has a handsome prince coming to rescue his beloved. Bottom line here - Woman LOVE being romanced. When we were young, we wanted to be precious to someone...especially our daddy. As we've grown to mature as a woman, the desire begans to mature and we pursue our destiny to be wanted and loved. Unfortunetly for some woman, it doesn't matter how they are treated. So, NO you don't have to be a jerk for a woman to fall in love with you.... be her hero.

Just my thoughts,

[lovereality]

posted twice accidently

[blindfold]

most good guys get the girls, you only hear more about the jerks because it's more noticeable - and that's not really what everyone's looking for, is it?

[HurleyBabe6917]

Good guys are deffintaly the best.

But I think women get bored with a guy that treats her prefectly all the time.

If you don't always get your way, it will keep you fighting for what you want.

You will stay interested.

That's just how I feel atleast.

[Batya33]

I am not interested in a man who permits me to walk all over him - I respect boundaries. Being assertive and putting me in my place when needed is the definition of treating me well. Permitting me to walk all over him and "giving in" is not treating me well - that is being passive, insecure, etc. None of us behaves perfectly all the time - so the challenge is for the two people to make their boundaries known and be confident enough to express when they feel taken advantage of. Even just the sense that the person would not be a doormat is enough - and there are definitely people who by their presense and vibes command respect for positive reasons (i.e. not through inspiring fear or being intimidating).

 

I will never understand why people think that "good treatment" is synonymous with a person who yessses you or asks how high he or she shoud jump.

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

Well, i have NEVER been attracted to a jerk.

 

I have BEEN the jerk, yes, but attracted to the jerks, no.

 

I'm sorry, the whole Gilrs Like Jerks THing is a L-I-E.

The truth, so far as I see it, is more like - "A lot of women have low self esteem, and subsequently will put up with too much bad behaviour for too long, which is a bad situation but rights itself as they start to believe they are worthy."

[AnotherBrokenDoll]

I always fall for the jerks... Always. Thinking about it i've only ever fallen for one genuine guy. I don't know i like the chase to be the person he wants... I'm a lil weird though lol.

[caro33]

- "A lot of women have low self esteem, and subsequently will put up with too much bad behaviour for too long, which is a bad situation but rights itself as they start to believe they are worthy."

 

Absolutely agree, well put.

[yeawutever]

There's a difference between standing up for yourself and not tolerating poorly behavior and being a doormat. Relationships are meant for communicating your difference and tell how you're feeling about certain things, you need trust and communication for it to strive otherwise it will sink.

 

Being confident doesn't acting like a moron who says bad words or calls you names, that's being plain stupid. No sane person gonna put up with a show-ff. I had a crush when I was in 7th grade all the way to 9th grade, but I didn't know how he really was since we never really talked. Until one day he showed his real side, an immature idiot. So he basically find out I liked him (well used to) and starts with the insults (Oh you're ugly, this and that, etc.") and so I insulted him back as well. Hey why not, I apply the same treatment. He ends it saying he was only playing but so what, he already screw that one occasion, who knows we would have even been friends. After that, off course I wanted nothing to do with him.

 

So nope, I never fell for an idiot nor for a doormat who can't have his own opinions.

[EvaGina]

"nice" guys are sometimes just quiet guys who are just as mean as the bad boys, but they get their way by being sneaky and manipulative, so you dont even notice.

 

Every guy has his good and bad points... I was whining about my ex being horrid, then a girl told me about how her husband is a p addict who left her and thier baby alone iwth no money, food or phone for a week while he went on a crack binge.... Suddenly my guy didnt look so bad.

 

Sometimes the grass is just greener on the other side...

[Batya33]

"nice" guys are sometimes just quiet guys who are just as mean as the bad boys, but they get their way by being sneaky and manipulative, so you dont even notice.

 

Every guy has his good and bad points... I was whining about my ex being horrid, then a girl told me about how her husband is a p addict who left her and thier baby alone iwth no money, food or phone for a week while he went on a crack binge.... Suddenly my guy didnt look so bad.

 

Sometimes the grass is just greener on the other side...

 

That is true - the trick is to know yourself, your values and standards and act consistently with them and try to avoid the comparison game. Some women are content with "well, he doesn't beat me" and others require "he'd better be awesome in bed the first time we have s_x even if that is the first night we meet or sayonara."