what has been the result of telling your feelings early?

[atraceofblood]

Ok so I always hear some say not to tell the person you like your feelings for them too early and I've always wondered why. For myself, I would be ok if a girl came to me early and told me her feelings, but I realize that that's the way I think and other girls may not think that way.

 

So I have a question for those that have openly talked about their feelings to the person they have liked early on after they met:

 

What happened after you told your feelings? Did any of you successfully form a romantic relationship?

[renaissancewoman101]

I've had it happened where I told my feelings too early to someone and the person didnt feel that way towards me. It made things awkward and caused problems in our relationship because, as a result of that, the "relationship" quickly deteriorated.

[stopit]

I'm sure it's flattering to hear (hell, I'd love to hear it myself), but how would you respond to the girl? Would you be ready to reciprocate feelings for just any girl? Because generally when you tell someone you have feelings for them, you expect something more than the other person "being okay with it."

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

Hmm..there have been times when I've been dating guys who were very expressive to me verbally earlier than I was. And then when I started to feel comfortable enough to begin to reciprocate, it has resulted in me being taken for granted, and no longer treated as well, or no longer having the same things said or expressed towards me that were before. So that has led me to be that much more guarded about expressing my feelings.

[annie24]

i know that I have been upfront about my feelings too fast and that hasn't really turned out well. I think it can turn out well if the other has the same feelings towards you.

 

sometimes, you think you have certain feelings for someone, but they may be based more on fantasy than reality. sometimes, you are just "needing" a relationship more than you are needing that person, and that is a mood killer.

 

If I had to do it over again, I would try to restrain myself from getting too interested in guys too quickly.

[renaissancewoman101]

I am starting to now think that even if you have strong feelings for the guy, to be restrained in telling them that you are that interested in them, and to play the aloof game until they tell you that they are interested in you that way.

 

That saves you from getting hurt.

[stopit]

What point in the dating/relationship are we talking about, exactly? When is "early"?

[renaissancewoman101]

Early being the first few weeks to the first month or two of the relationship.

 

My ex told my by the third date that he "loved" me. Guess what, the relationship only lasted two years and we were very incompatible.

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

I am starting to now think that even if you have strong feelings for the guy, to be restrained in telling them that you are that interested in them, and to play the aloof game until they tell you that they are interested in you that way.

 

That saves you from getting hurt.

 

Yes I agree with that. But the problem as in with my situations described above, is even when you do remain a bit more restrained, and they are all gushy and lovey dovey toward you, and keep wanting you to tell them how you feel and you finally do, and then it's like the chase is over and you're no longer interesting. That sucks even more because by then you've become invested, and you've begun to believe all the lies they told you.

[eleanorrigby1]

I think in the beginning of a 'new' relationship, its hard to distinguish between real feelings and the giddiness of 'new' 'honeymoon'. I have gone on dates with guys and after a few weeks thought "he is the greatest, I really like him, really falling for him..." only to change my mind the week after. Imagine if I had of told him?

 

I had a guy tell me at the end of our first date that he was 'smitten' with me. Texted me when he got home to say he was happy and couldnt wait to see me again. After about a month he told me he loved me. I said it back. I totally fell for him, a couple of months later he tells me he isnt over his ex. He isnt inlove with me. He is sorry...

 

That has happened to me a couple of times actually.

 

There is a danger to both people when revealing 'feelings' too soon, because I don't personally believe you really know what those 'feelings' are until you have been with that person for at least 3 months.

 

Just my opinion x

[Day_Walker]

Ok so I always hear some say not to tell the person you like your feelings for them too early and I've always wondered why. For myself, I would be ok if a girl came to me early and told me her feelings, but I realize that that's the way I think and other girls may not think that way.

 

You are transposing your feelings on the other person since you feel that you would not mind if a girl said that to you but you have to realize that you are not the same person as them and they have different feelings about a guy telling them how he feels. Instead of stating how you feel I believe it is more appropriate that your actions are appropriate.

[atraceofblood]

You are transposing your feelings on the other person since you feel that you would not mind if a girl said that to you but you have to realize that you are not the same person as them and they have different feelings about a guy telling them how he feels. Instead of stating how you feel I believe it is more appropriate that your actions are appropriate.

 

hmm what do you mean by actions?

 

So far it seems that none of you have had a positive experience sharing your feelings too early. Does that really say something about being open about your feelings early? To me it sounds like it is best to take things slow with each other, what do you think?

[Dating Coach]

By actions, take the girl out, have a good time, flirt, tease, have fun, etc. By doing this she knows that you like her. You don't have to pull a time out, get serious, and explain to her that you like her. That's boring and drama. Be fun, do things with actions.

[lizziebee]

Ok so I always hear some say not to tell the person you like your feelings for them too early and I've always wondered why. For myself, I would be ok if a girl came to me early and told me her feelings, but I realize that that's the way I think and other girls may not think that way.

 

So I have a question for those that have openly talked about their feelings to the person they have liked early on after they met:

 

What happened after you told your feelings? Did any of you successfully form a romantic relationship?

ok here goes..we met on a website 4months ago, not your average website. We talked on phone/cyber...then met, had fan-%#$%*&&-sex after I seduced him, because that is what we both wanted, but what we both came up honest with was that what we really wanted was eachother. I professed my love of him in an email in his house in the middle of the night. I wrote it the way I felt. To me life is too short to put any "rules" or time limits on what you need or have to say....say it for gods sake or the walls could tumble down upon you and no one will ever know how you felt.

[AnotherBrokenDoll]

Well by talking to my friends about my feelings early and his friends also to see what he was feeling i got my bf. But i guess that was kinda rare. I'd say be carefull with your wording. Most girls would find it a complement but don't seem to full on... My only advice.

[gift from the gods]

I have to tell someone how i feel, i dont care how early it is, it messes with my mind if i dont. it hasnt really worked against me as most people are flattered and then see you in a different way and enjoy flirting with you.... even if nothing happens you had some fun flirting

[the_ironist]

Ok so I always hear some say not to tell the person you like your feelings for them too early and I've always wondered why. For myself, I would be ok if a girl came to me early and told me her feelings, but I realize that that's the way I think and other girls may not think that way.

 

So I have a question for those that have openly talked about their feelings to the person they have liked early on after they met:

 

What happened after you told your feelings? Did any of you successfully form a romantic relationship?

 

Lol, well i was never successful by letting them know my feelings early and i've done that like 5 times in my life, and it never goes anywhere. The onyl replies i would get is that they like me as a friend, which i understand because i didn't give these girls enough time to get to know me properly. The only time this girl liked me and i liked her in high school we did it through signals of some sort (group of friends always together, hugging when we say hi, talking amongst ourselves while everyone was talking bout somethign else etc...) and when i got my first girl well i knew from her signals she liked me and i ended up going for the kiss in a nightclub (i was 20, 21 now) and we hooked up. I guess actions speak louder than words...

[Kevin T]

I've always understood it to be symbolic of power in a relationship. The one who loves most (or cares most, whatever) will be the one who gives most. And if you are going on about how much you love (or like) her and it's only the beginning of a romance, it may drive her away, and not only that, but it gives her all of the power. You are now at her mercy, and in the palm of her hand. Do you really want to give away all of your power and let her walk all over you? Not all women will, of course, but many will. And the same is said for men too, so I'm not being misogynistic. lol

[anggrace]

It was okay with me. He told me was falling in love with me a few weeks into it. I was feeling the same. I wouldnt of said anything though if he hadnt. I guess it just depends how the other person feels. If they are still just feeling you out, than it might not go so well. I think you should be pretty confidant that she atleast sees you in a similar light.