found..wierd things on girlfriends laptop

[EvaGina]

I'm really not the judgemental type, but the videos I saw totally grossed me out. I saw her today and I just couldnt get my mind off the fact she was looking at that crap in her spare time. I am still kind of in denial I think, this is a girl I can barely get to have a single drink because she is so hyper-sensitive about "polluting" her body and hurting her volleyball playing ability. I dont know, but to me the videos I saw were damaging to the MIND, I was really freaked out by the thought she is into this crap.

Well, I know you have already been given the stern word for snooping on your womans computer (I dont care what your excuse is)... so now I will pick on this...

 

What makes you think you have the right to care? As long as she doesnt ask you to do any of this stuff to her, then its NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS...

A persons fantasy life is exteremly personal. Do you have any idea how many women have rape fantasies? I would say that nearly none of them would ever want to actually be raped.

 

Get over yourself, I have sick stuff on my computer, if I were dating you and you didnt like it... my reply would be "dont watch it then".

 

As long as its legal and shes not trying to attack you with bondage gear, then it really has nothing to do with you... at all...

 

I find it quite funny that she obviously doesnt trust you enough to have aready approached you with this stuff tho...

 

I do find it funny that everyone comes out in support of the femae here. If it was the guy and he was "addicted to porn," you would all be saying she had issues and needed counselling. lol.

LOL, not me... I tend to have a problem with those who are anti-porn... if you dont like it, then sure, dont watch it... but those bloody "omg porn is bad for your soul" lobbiests are a real pain in the butt

[TheRedQueen]

So the cat's out of the bag, she's kinky and you're not.

 

If I were you, I'd confront her on this (at this point you kind of have to), and my guess is that she'll probably dump you. If my boyfriend snooped on my computer, found and watched my porn, only to be grossed out by it and think that my sexual desires were mind-polluting, I know I would dump him as well.

[EvaGina]

 

awesome!!

I dont know if I would dump a guy for that (Im a bit of a sook) but if he ever tried to tell me I was wrong or talk me out of liking what I liked... then yes, he would be history...

[SexySadie7]

don't mind me. i've got some x-rated stuff on my computer too.. basically just nudes of men.. but i have to agree with the poster.. the thing with the clothes pins and people being gagged. .i know everyone has their fantasies.. but honestly. i'm not sure i'd be "comfortable" with that either....

You know probably that he's not judging her per se.. but her values.. definitely are different from his.. so he's uncomfortable.. That's natural.

What to do about it now? I don't have the answer to that.. You wanna admit you saw stuff on her computer that you didn't care for? Maybe if you guys discussed this.. it would help ease things for you...

[TheRedQueen]

"they involved latex/tied up/punishment type of material, as well as other things I will refrain from mentioning."

 

Jackpot?

Jackpot for some , and scaaawwwy for others .

[Lady Luck]

What you have to realize is that almost everyone has taboo interests that are frowned upon by most of society. If tons upon tons of people weren't into things like beastiality, bondage, even incest, there wouldn't be sites on the internet for it.

 

The truth is that Jessica, even with the videos, is still Jessica. I'm sure you have interests that would gross her out as well.

 

Also, just because she looks at it online, doesn't mean she'd like to try it in real life. I would know that first hand. Maybe she was just curious. Maybe it's a fantasy of hers that she wants nothing to do with in real life.

 

If it really bugs you that much, talk to her about it. But beware, she may become extremely defensive, not to forget pissed off that you went "snooping" on her computer. And yes, it was snooping. The second you opened that first video, you weren't just looking for yours anymore, lol. Sorry but it's true!

[gift from the gods]

she might just be curous of downloaded as a laugh. Am i the only one that does that!?!?! hehe! You could ask her about it but then she would know you had been looking at her computer. I would do this if i was you because it will really bug you otherwise x

[Lady Luck]

she might just be curous of downloaded as a laugh. Am i the only one that does that!?!?! hehe! You could ask her about it but then she would know you had been looking at her computer. I would do this if i was you because it will really bug you otherwise x

 

That's definetly a good possibility.

[valiantv]

Yeah, stop being so judgemental! Don't "confront" her about it, forget about it, or bring it up as a joke (if you are sure she will see the funny side of it, and doesn't mind you sifting through her computer). Who knows maybe she left it there on purpose for you to find?

 

In any case don't bring it up as a negative.

[Lady Luck]

He definetly shouldn't bring it up as negative, because it's not. If humans didn't have "freaky" ideas in their head.. fantasies.. like bondage or something, we'd be soulless! Without our individual thoughts we'd all be little sheep running in herds. Most of us are already mindless. Not any of you on this forum, you're all very bright, actually. But really, don't take that away from her. You probably have some sick fantasies too. You just think hers are worse, because they're not yours. Get it?

[Lboogie23]

I can imagine how freaked out you were when you stumbled on this secret of your gf. You said she was very health concsious and a well rounded athletic type? Maybe her fantasising about these kind of things is a way for her to release the pressure of always trying to be so perfect.

 

for the longest time i was angry at my bf for watching porn behind my back but i never told him that i secretly like it too. I later realized it was tht he was doing it witout me that made me upset. what i'm saying is that people can really surprise you. If your dwelling on this, you should bring it up to her in a non-confrontational way. Tell her you didn't mean to pry , you just sort of stumbled on it and find out if thats what shes really into or not. If it is you need to ask yourself if you can deal with that. Good luck!

[anthony06]

Just to make u feel better...Not everyone thinks u were being nosy, judgemental, or overstepping your boundaries...Who would be able to resist checking out bizarre (sp) porn titles on the gf's computer?...I know if I saw that stuff on my gf's computer when I using it freely w. her blessings I would have done the same thing. There's a difference between being surprised by someone's actions and judging them....as for anything past moral support i think i'm pretty useless...you could try making subtle kinky gestures in bed and gauge her reactions to see if she really is into the porn she watches...

[Rabican]

are you upset that she was looking at porn... or just the type of porn?

 

I dont think i would be upset by this at all My motto is that its ok to watch anything, so long as there isnt another REAL person involved. IE fantasy is FANTASY. No harm no foul in my opinion.

[holyohio]

oh please...

 

a woman comes on here saying that she "found" porn on her boyfriend/husbands computer and it is seen as a terrible offense that he has committed and is emotionally and physically neglecting her. "porn addiction..." and the like...

 

a guy comes on here saying he is a little weirded out by some porn he found on his girlfriends computer and you all say that he was wrong by getting on her computer in the first place.

 

A little objectivity, maybe?

[blemished]

I agree with Rick here...it's not that Jessica has interests different to his TASTES, or that those interests are possibly more explicit than his. It is that she hides her sexual interests from her sexual interest. That's a problem, as well as a potential incompatibility! I, too, would be concerned if I were Rick!

 

And BTW, using her laptop I think is perfectly understandable, provided your relationship is a serious one. Scouring it for personal information is not, but Rick made it clear he happened accross this by accident.

[mrsirish]

you could try what me and my man do....

every now and then we will light the fire, get a few drinks in, relax, and...each search for videos of things that turn us on, and or we want to try..(we have a comp each as he managed to pick an old one up from work)... then we will msn the vids to each other and delete the ones we dont like, try the ones we do.. there are no limits those nights, whatever turns you on, we talked about it after i found his sex toy in the bedroom cuboard..he was mortified, i found it funny. thats when he knew i was open minded and he could share things with me sexually. admittedly he has come up with some things i wouldnt try, but then so have i, i would never jude him on his sexual preferance because i know everyone is different, everyone has their own likes and dislikes, talk to your girl, tell her you saw her videos and that you would like to talk about it together, then come to a compremise that you are both happy with.

[pregnantkitty_1985]

awesome!!

I dont know if I would dump a guy for that (Im a bit of a sook) but if he ever tried to tell me I was wrong or talk me out of liking what I liked... then yes, he would be history...

 

Heh, this is completely random and irrelevant to the thread, but ... is your Username and Signature connected in some way? Hehehehe. If so, it's amusing and original, and I like it.

[pregnantkitty_1985]

I really don't think you can compare BDSM to incest and beastiality, to the poster who said that. Beastiality and incest, in my eyes, would be defined a sick fantasy. BDSM between two consenting adults of a legal age is one thing; consent between an animal and a human? Not likely. Not to mention incest is illegal in most places, as is beastiality. I don't care if I sound judgmental, for those two things are sick. Sick I saaaaay.

 

The original poster has the right to be upset/shocked over finding this porn in his girlfriend's computer. I would be as well. I don't mind porn, I've even watched porn a time or two and didn't mind it, but not in relationships. I think he's shocked more because the content is even worse than we're all assuming. He didn't completely elaborate, and in fact stopped himself from doing so. Perhaps he's also a bit hurt that there's a secret side to his girlfriend that he knew nothing about, something she didn't feel she could share with him, and he feels like perhaps he doesn't really know her at all.

 

It's okay and understandable to feel like that. I'd say that she either was just curious and downloaded such things for the shock value, or she does have some sort of fantasy about that. Like others have said though, it doesn't necessarily mean she would want to do anything like that. I think a lot of people have deep dark fantasies that they'd never actually want to do..

 

I think you should approach this situation gently when you confront her, if you decide to do so. Don't sound angry or confrontational and things will go more smoothly. Explain to her it's the content that's bothering you, not the actual porn. (It's not just porn in general that has upset you, is it? I assumed you were upset by the violent content, because you seemed amused over the lesbian porn.) Be open and honest.

[pregnantkitty_1985]

Hey, here's something for you, Shocktech, something which may alleviate your concerns. After posting all of the above, I just found this out.

 

It is likely Adware has infected her system and it could be an autoexec file that has installed itself while she was online, during popups. Let me guess, she's running Internet Explorer 5 or 6? If you go to link removed, you can download Ad-aware-SE, which would solve the problem (that is, if it's adware that has infected her computer and not her actual porn files.) Make sure you do an update after you download it, if of course, she allows you to download it. If, when you talk to her about this and you discover it's not her porn and it's adware, then you're advised to ditch Internet Explorer and get Mozilla Firefox, which does not support adware. You can download Mozilla from link removed as well. That would solve the problem (again, if she's not actually downloading porn.) 80% of computer users are not aware they they have adware infections in their computers until they do a search, as you did.

 

I was telling my man about your problem (as he was being nosy and wanted to know what I was reading on the computer) and he said all of the above. He is a certified computer tech so I guess you could assume he knows what he's talking about.

 

So, it's probably nothing to worry about (especially if she has a high speed internet connection, this sort of stuff will pop up in there like crazy.)

 

Hope that helps.

[pregnantkitty_1985]

By the way, she doesn't have to visit a single porn site ever in her life for this sort of stuff to pop up. Some websites have hidden codes in their source files that tell itself to autoexecute as a background service, and if you don't have something to protect against it, it runs rampant.