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There might be some people here who know my story. Well today, I kissed her. She's confused and we're not going out or anything. I don't even know if we ever will be or if she 100% is interested. But I know that I have told her so a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

I also know that our friendship will survive anything.

So I'm content.

And I'll just see how things go..

 

I would like to know if and how I can delete my own threads?

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I just wanted to say that I'm proud of you for taking such a huge risk! You are taking a chance here and it might not turn out the way you want, but you can't get anywhere without taking that first step..

 

PM one of the mods (their names are in green) to get your posts deleted.

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Well, I've told her I love her. She didn't say it back. But hasn't backed off at all.

 

Today she was holding my hand and hugging me and being really close.

 

We've kissed a lot but haven't talked about the possibility of "us".

 

I think she's still trying to work out what she wants.

 

I'm not going to push her. Hopefully in time everything will become clear to her.

 

I think it's a good sign that I've told her I love her and she hasn't backed off.

 

Thanks for you post in my other thread tigris, I am really insecure, I'm hoping I can get past that somehow.

 

Im feeling good now though, cos I feel close to her.

 

But I'm just going to wait and see how this one works out! We're definitely getting closer, we've got more physical definitely.

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hey,

 

I dont know if you'll remember me. It was about 7 weeks or so ago that we kinda spoke in a thread I posted, and it turned out we were in pretty similar circumstances. Anyway, I just noticed your username and the thread title and wanted to post and say well done for taking the risk of telling her, and Im really glad it worked out for you to an extent - well, it could have been 1000 times worse, so I think it did work out overall for you, dear.

 

Fair play, that was really brave of you. Hope it works out positively for you.

 

xxx

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hi IntoTheFire yea I do remember you, how are things going with you?

 

Yea it has worked out really well for me really, considering how it couldn've gone.

 

We're still just plodding along. We haven't talked about the possibility of us going out and I don't think we will for a while yet. I don't want to push her.

 

I don't know if she would ever consider being my girlfriend or not, I think I just have to wait.

 

We kiss and stuff when we're alone together at eachothers' houses. When we're around our other friends, we're strictly friends and we don't talk about us or anything we've done. Although we do have physical contact (hands, arms etc.) for long periods of time that just friends probably wouldn't do.

 

So there's nothing much new to say. I'm still just waiting for her really. She hasn't said that she's going to say anything about it to me. I'm hoping I will be able to sense when it is the right time to bring it up and for us to talk about it.

 

Thanks for all your support

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yeah I know what you mean. I have a friend that I've kissed quite a few times (and went a little further) and sometimes we do things like unnecessary contact and things.

 

I wouldn't say much has changed with me really. Things haven't changed with the person I was talking about back then. If anything, it's getting worse I suppose. Guys are very much in it now with her, and it's doing my head in like I can't describe. But that's hardly a surprise. I fully expected it to be like this.

 

I think I know that nothing will ever happen. My head knows that. But I can't really get the rest of me to listen to it. As soon as I can work out how to do that, I'll be fine.

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I know exactly how you feel. Getting your heart to listen to your head is a very hard thing to do. I still haven't managed to get it to do it!!

 

I know im being hypocritical here, because I know I probably won't ever do this but I still believe it is true....space. I think for me personally, not seeing her everyday like I do now would help loads. Even if at first it tore me apart not to be with her. I honestly think if I didn't see her for a few months, I would get over her and not be obsessed like I am now.

 

That's just me though, that might not help you.

 

For me right now though, I don't think not seeing her is an option, I have to be here while she decides what she wants. If she decides that it was just a bit of experimenting for her and nothing more and she just wants to be friends and I still have all my feelings for her and all my insecure feelings....then I think I have to seriously consider letting her go. For my own sanity.

 

Sorry I've gone off on a tangent there!! But I hope everything works out for you!

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I dunno if having no contact would help. I really, really don't know. I think, as you said, it would be hard as hell and it'd make me more miserable than I can imagine. I don't want to bother writing much on this, because deep down I know I'll never do something like that.

 

You know what you were saying about letting her go for your sanity? I think it'd drive me further insane if I didn't at least have her as a friend anymore. I'd rather just go quietly crazy and never have anything more happen with her than have absolutely nothing to do with her.

 

I hope it works out, but I really don't see it ever happening.

 

Like I said, my head knows that. Every bit of logic in my body understands that but it's not enough, somehow.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Trust me, breaking contact with someone you love is not worth it. I was so much happier being in contact with the one I loved, even though I knew I couldn't be with him. Now that I've broken contact with him things have only gotten worse. Even after 4 months I still think about him everyday and wish that I could see him. I keep dreaming that I'll run into him at some random place, but I know thats not going to happen. I'd give anything to see him right now.

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Trust me, breaking contact with someone you love is not worth it. I was so much happier being in contact with the one I loved, even though I knew I couldn't be with him. Now that I've broken contact with him things have only gotten worse. Even after 4 months I still think about him everyday and wish that I could see him. I keep dreaming that I'll run into him at some random place, but I know thats not going to happen. I'd give anything to see him right now.

 

Even thinking about being in that position makes me feel pretty physically sick.

 

I can imagine how bad it is, trust me. Even when I'm in usually daily contact with the person, I still think about her at work, at night before I go to sleep, and at random times of the day. I can honestly say that I don't think I could possibly stick not talking to her. I'd rather have the talking and friendship and no "relationship" than nothing at all.

 

I really feel for you and your situation. It sounds horrible

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hmmm i think distance works. well...gradual distance, thats what has happened to me, and i am finding that has helped tremedously. I know back when I had it really bad for my friend if i had broken off all contact it would have messed me up, but gradually works. At first it feels terrible, but the more and more you just keep on truckin, eventually i hit a point where i realized it will be okay. If you focus on other people too, that works. But of course we are all different and deal with things differently. But... Attaching emotion can pontentially lead to emotional pain or withdrawl. so if you depend on this love for a friend and depend on and feel so happy around them..... if you just cut off any interaction and go cold turkey of course its gunna suck. People actually are addicted to certain emotions, humans get addicted to emotions chemically, the same way we can get addicted to herion......i think i said that right...lol (...go check out the movie 'what the bleep do we know' extremely interesting, it will really get you thinking about lot of things and make you wonder....its good stuff) link removed

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Even thinking about being in that position makes me feel pretty physically sick.

 

I can imagine how bad it is, trust me. Even when I'm in usually daily contact with the person, I still think about her at work, at night before I go to sleep, and at random times of the day. I can honestly say that I don't think I could possibly stick not talking to her. I'd rather have the talking and friendship and no "relationship" than nothing at all.

 

I really feel for you and your situation. It sounds horrible

 

Yeah, it really sucks. It's one of the worst things I've ever had to go through.](*,) I'm pretty sure gradual seperation would have been much better, though if I had the choice I would choose to still remain friends. It would definitely make me the happiest out of the other choices.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hi

 

Just to update: She's been very affectionate towards me lately. Little kisses and things that's she's never done before. I think she is starting to get used to the idea that she likes a girl. Should I try and bring up the topic of "us" again? Last time I did was about two weeks ago and she said she felt different now to what she did when she first found out about my feelings.

Or should I just leave things how they are a while longer?

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