tellmebaby

okay, honestly, if you feel liek you are gunna loose her anyway at this point, you might as well tell her...right? unless you can read minds, it would be hard to know exactly what her behavior is all about so at this point, just tell her, don't apologize for liking her either, just tell her honestly how you feel, and assure her that above anything you appreciate the friendship and hope that you both can continue being friends.

I finally got over my friend that i had really started to like very much. A lot of stuff happened between us, she started being weird and contradictory and not tellilng me things ..and like still flirting with me...and i felt like she was really jerking me around. I have been increasingly gettin gmore and more annoyed with her, and i feel dissappointed that i let myself feel the way i did. I don't know how much more i can take from her. It seems as though she is constantly getting mad at me...and a lot more recently starts crying when we talk. Its always something that I do wrong, even though it rarely is...or like i don't take something seriously enough for her...i hav eno idea.. Mostly i am getting the feeling its an attention thing.....for example...we had been hanging out all day with this other friend...and then we get to this house and my old best friend was there...i barely see her anymore (she was also a friend i had just a crush on but got over after i told her ..that was a mistake lol) So i started to talk to her a lot this one night and joke with her like old times, and this friend i am having problems with kept trying to get me to help her put something away. I told her it can wait it isn't important..and it wasn't important at all....it was stuff that was mine and she wanted my keys to put it in my car, i told he rnot to worry about it but she persisted...i ended up ignoring her because she was getting mad at me in front of people. Well she got really mad and stormed off...and when it was time to go home...we were sitting in my car waiting for our friend we were with that day. My friend started getting really mad at me and saying she was really mad i didn't help her or like give her my keys, and that i was just joking and talking the whole time to my old best friend and she felt stupid infront of everyone for trying to put the stuff in my car, i told her i was sorry and i wanted to talk to my friend, and i didn't think it mattered that much for the things to go in my car..and she ended up crying and wouldn't talk to me, until i finally started talking again trying to bring something else up. Then the other night we were hanging out with some people, and we were drinking, and it got late and it was just me her and this third friend of ours and we were sitting on my bed, and i started saying how i have a crush on this girl at my work, and i was telling them cause they were asking about her, and like some time passed, and a song came on that i really like and i go jokingly "i will dedicate this song one day to my girlfriend."And then my friend goes, "you know if you get a gf we have to approve of her and hang out with her so we can approve." and then she stopped realized what she said or something...and i go jokingly "are you kidding me, yeah right..." and my other friend just looks at her and gives her this look like 'why'd you say that'. I feel like i am not allowed to talk to anyone....i feel like i can't i talk about like going to a club or like about my blind date i went on....or talk to my old best friend...with out feeling bad about it. but She talks about guys constantly and i listen and talk and am not negative about it. all she does now is make me feel bad and gets mad at me when i do nothing wrong.i don't understand it, and its wearing me thin, i want some time away from her now, now everthing she does is getting to me. I don't know what to do, and i don't want to talk to her about it, but we have bene really close friends and hang out quite often, and she is friends with all of my other close friends. I feel stuck. Its not like i can go hang out with a different group, because she knows everyone i know, and its hard right now in my life and i don't have a way right now to meet knew people around my age to hang out with if she says she has no interest in me to date me or anything...whats her deal? is she just insecure, does she have weird jealousy...is this normal..is she just being crazy...i dunno what to do its bothering me!!!

being honest is..honestly...the best thing to do....lol. It will make you feel loads better, and it will help with future communications. It will prolly even open the door for you two to figure out where you stand, so there won't be the confusion. although it does make it difficult and frustrating when she says she doesn't want to talk about whats going on between the both of you. I am sorta having that problem too and i don't know what to do about it either, so it makes things harder. hmm i think that .....whenever she actually comes to you asking and wanting to know whats up with you, wanting to talk, those times would prolly be a good time to be honest, and a time to try and talk about other things.

you both are right. but like it really was not my intention to back her into any corner, and i see how thats what it may seems. I wish the third person didn't go to her, i kinda just wanted to be able to confide i didn't expect her to go to her....i should have been more vocal about that...thats what my friend was sayingm she was alright that i confided in someone...but upset because she felt like this 3rd person was trying to stick her nose in when she hadn't needed to. I think it did make it more overwhelming for her....dang it ](*,) i feel horrible about that. In trying to bring things up with her...I was trying to clear the major confusion and hurt i was feeling, but i screwed up because i didn't think outside it, because it was really bad how i was feeling. but now i see, that she prolly does need time with whatever she is thinking and feeling, and prolly really can't talk about it just yet. Its been even harder, because the both of us are so used to talking and sharing everything with each other, and hanging out all the time. Hah...she was actually the first person i came out too! So its kind of like bleh when she won't talk to me and there is lack of communication. I'll need to set my confusion aside for now, and wait, and i didn't consider the fact that i could end up pushing her away like you said! thats the very last thing i want to do. I just really hope she will come to me when she is ready. I maybe i was being too rediculous for not realizing how much she does probably feel uncomfortable about the whole situation and not ready to admit things to herself, and i know how that was for myself thanks so much for both your replies, it really made me realize my own actions and approach of the situation, and see it in a different light. I shall give her space about it. thanks again.

i think the friend that i started to get invovle with is definitly hiding something from me. Although im not exactly sure what or why. I have tried several times to talk to her and she always just wants to drop it, saying i don't want to ruin our friendship or saying talking makes things worse, i told i just want want my Qs answered because i am confused as to why she would tell me she liked me and flirt with me for weeks and then kiss me, and then freak out, and then seem to keep flirting with me. When i asked her waht i wanted to know, she was quiet for a really long time and then said things like she didn't remember doing or saying things like flirting with or telling me she liked me, even though she definitly did and she only explained about her being jealous of the other girl i liked....but not really because it confused me more. She said she knows she explained it weird and she is sorry, and she knows she's confusing, and thats all she could tell me. That conversation ended with me not knowing what to say and being more confused and hurt. It got me nowhere When i tried to talk to her again, she was angry because this 3rd person started trying to talk to her about it, (i had talked to this third person about it because she asked me about it, and i needed someone to talk to it about because i was feeling really crappy one day about teh situation. My friend already knew i had talked to this third person and said she had no problems and she understood why i talked to her). But when she got in my car the other day she starting yelling at me telling me we need to quit talking about what happened. She calmed down and later she said she is jsut irratated that this 3rd person is tyring to talk to her, and she wants to keep it between me and her. I told her the third person is just trying to help, but i understand what you are saying and i'll tell the 3rd person to let it be. and my friend said this 3rd person was like trying to get her to admit she was bi, I told my friend, i have not told anyone that i do in fact think you are bi, because i think its for you to decided for yourself i am just confused by your actions and words and thats why im trying to talk to you, she interrupeted me and said "no, out of everyone you should be the only one able to decide if i am bi or not, i just don't want other people sepculating about me." I was confused at this, but she just kept on talking about thsi 3rd person, so i didn't get a chance to ask about taht. She continued talking,and she said something like, "I thought about what happened for the month(the kiss), and i waited for you to come talk to me, but then i thought you were fine with not talking and what happened and i tried to ignore it." I told her that the reason why i didnt talk about it or bring it up was because she told me to please forget it and she told me she really didn't want to talk about it. She said she was sorry and she is crazy. I told her i wish we had talked about it and i wish i came to you sooner. She said something like she was confused, and i asked her why she is confused and she got really upset and said she doesn't want to talk about something she herself is confused about and doesn't understand and exactly know anything, she asked me how she was supposed to talk about something she doesn't understand, and she said she doesn't want to talk about it. I told her well thats why we need to talk because it can help clear confusion and we can help each other understand, and i think thats why (the 3rd person) tried to talk to you. She then told me she just wants the situation to be over. at this point would it be wise for me to tell her how i feel about her? Up til now i was confused and scared to say anthing about my feelings, now i am jsut really confused...because nothing she says makes sense in my mind. Its either she is bi, but she doesn't like me, and doesn't want to hurt my feelings. Or she really isn't bi, and doesn't like me. Or she does in fact like me and is freaked out or like confused about it, and is scared to admit it.

when i came out i came out to my older sister first, and one of my best friends. My sister had already been out for 6 years, so she was accepting, excited and happy when i told her...LOL.... she cant wait to take me to clubs when im old enough..haha. My best friend was fine with it too when i told her, and we got a lot closer. Having them be okay with it made me feel alot better to come out to other people i was close to in my life,i didn't feel awkward, i felt i could finally be myself and more honest. When i did finally come out to tothers, they were fine with it. The only really sad and unfortunate thing was that, I told another one of my best friends, and she started to not hang out with me so much, it made me realize she wasn't that great of friend and I found out who really cares about me and accepts me, so its all good.

i wrote this, i was really hurt and feeling things really intensely. I was upset as to how someone who i really cared about and who cared about em could be as they were being. another buzz of chatter grows increasingly louder attempts at extinquishing the indistinguishables oh...now?..now we no longer matter? when the sounds seeped into my mind they solidified my nightmares too my heart started to race as i struggled to save some face but its useless to persist this with you I feel fearless of living like this but when you said those words i could only fall to my knees my internal hopes, my dreams they shattered my heart slowly began to bleed you.... all of this... was the one more thing i didn't need. it kills to see how you act for them you know so well how to play it straight feeding into these cliche masquerades I m running out of time to sit and wait Counting the days wondering how you can continue to lie this way you how much it hurts so take it back, before its to late stop avoiding our loving gazes quit playing this stupid game I know you feel it give me a secret sign…. So I can know to hold on so i know know it we'll be justfine so i can know to wait for it to be alright let me know so i can sleep happier at night. what do ya'll think?

it does sound like she likes you. but be careful. honestly....here's what hapened to me... sooo.....I came out to one of my close friends, we started to hang out more and more, i would talk to her about how i liked this friend of mine, she always would ask why and started telling me she was jealous of this girl. She started to flirt with me. she told me she at one point she liked me a lot in highschool for a while, and i was really surprised. She started to come on strong with me, pratically jumping all over me putting her hands on my face, playing with my hands. I asked her one day if she liked me, she giggled and turned away, and nodded a little. Time went on and i seriously started to like her back, and i was happy, we hung out everday, she would always give me these looks and silly smiles, and she would try to do stuff liek tickle me, therse so much that she did. One day we were drunk, and she had been flirting with me a lot, and we were cuddling (we had cuddled before) and she was teh one who started to kiss mee! She then flipped out and said that it was a mistake and she likes boys. I told her after it happened, a couple days after (i was drunk again) that i liked her. All she said was that any girl would be lucky to have me and i will find that person. The sad part is, is that, i felt lucky to have her, but i don't think she will ever relaly believe that, and i think she is scared of getting teased for being gay, and is scared of her parents... etc.. . She blamed making out with me... on being drunk but then admitted that she was barely tipsy but she was tired....HOW DO YOU BLAME THAT ON BEING TIRED!!..ugh..lol sorry., But anyway, she said she was experimenting, and it was a mistake. I am crushed, and confused as how someone could act like that and tell me she likes me...jsut to experiement!?!, to me that just says she was leading me on and used me...ya don't do that to friends!!!!! Do you think your friend would do that? whats her family like?? would she be scared of being in a relationship with you? If i were you...i would talk to her about sexuality, and find out how she feels about it and all that stuff, and be careful. Find out if she likes you, before you try anything...tell her how you feel. How much do you trust the friendship? OH! and becareful about getting drunk, sometimes that really complicates things......seriously...lol. I wish you the best of luck, and i hope it turns out for you!

everything is royally screwed up. AHHH i appreciated both the replies, and i considered both those options, and i was going to go with B and talk to her, but...she got home yesterday and didn't have time to talk, and then we were at my new years party we were all intoxicated and one of my friends took it upon herself to get us to talk to each other, which of course went over horribly. This is not what i wanted or planned, i did not want to confront her while intoxicated i was going to wait til after new years, i have learned my lesson from talking to people about important things while drunk,this was just ridiculous and although i am not mad at my friend who tried to get us to talk, i understand she was trying to help me out and make it easier for me to approach her about it, but it just was a bad night. So what happened was... the girl i like flipped out, got really mad she said " yeah ok i admit i was experimenting." and then i told her "well it kind of hurts me that you would do that to me, i sorta felt used in a way you know, i really though you liked me and you were flirting with me and even told me you liked me, so i have been really confused" she flipped out yelled something at me and was like "WHATEVER!" and walked out...which i don't remember what she exactly all yelled because i was drunk and she was too, and she went away from all of us and went to sleep.. in the morning she called someone to get a ride home while the rest of us wehre sleeping, and I haven't seen or talked to her at all today because she hasn't answered my texts or my messages. she finaally answered me, and told me she was mad that i had talked to my friend about it, but at the same time she didn't care because she trusts this friend of ours. she was also upset because it messed up new years for her, and i told her i was sorry and i didn't want that to happen and i planned and talking to her after new years. She began to explain through messages that what happened between us was a mistake, and she didn't want that to happen with one of her friends and, and she didn't want to talk about it because it was awkward and she was embarrassed about it, and she didn't want me to think that she used me and confuse me. thats what did happena nd thats how i felt but i also felt she did like me or she used me, and i felt like i started to like her, because i didn't know, and i told her i was really confused, and that she made it hard for me to bring it up with her because she told me to ignore it, and i didn't know what to so i talked to this friend of ours. She kept trying to explain and said that how she was explaining probably sounds rediculous. she told me she would talk to me and explain sometime. I am going to ask her why she said she liked me and flirted, thats the only thing that i am confused about, how can you explain that other then, yes she did have feelings for me and wanted to kiss me, i had felt liek for some time she had been trying too. She blamed it on, being drunk but then said she really was only slightly tipsy and she was tired and thats why it happened.....so i don't know if i can believe that though. Its either she did like me or she just said those things to kiss me to find out if she was gay. I can't think of any other reasons then that. So it makes me think now that she is saying its a mistake and taking it all back that she did sort of use me, so i don't know what to think or how to deal with trust and everything. I am so hurt by all of this. this blows.

I need some input and advice on another friend situation, its with a different friend. Apologies if this ends up being a long post, thanks in advance if ya read it!! I think i have posted about this girl before but the thing between us is that, she told me a couple months ago that she used to have a crush on me a few years ago and then she told me she liked me again. She started to flirt with me alot, i didn't show a whole lot of interest and didn't try to flirt back, especially since im not a really flirty individual. but i told her i don't really feel that way with her plus she also already knew that i really liked this one girl and i was confused about it, so she knew but she told me she was really jeolous. Which leads me to this...other i am referring, i liekd her she didn't know she started to act weird blah blah so one day i just decided to tell her i liked her, she said she was straight..thats it. She started to act real strange and said some really confusing stuff to one of my close friends, and i don't really see her anymore cause i am fed up with her stupid games. but anyway, back to the girl im talking about, she told me she liked me, would always ask if she could stay over, she flirted with me, one night we ended up making out (We both had some drinks but not a lot, and she initiated it), After that she starts telling me she was sorry and she is straight. Two days later i was with some friends and got aaalottt more drunk then i had planned, and somehow found my way onto myspace and messeged her telling her i liked her ( at the time i was confused about how i felt about her and htis other girl but i was drunk and i way to out of it to think about it) She replied back and told me i will find someone, i barely remembered writing her and i told her i was real wasted and she laughed and said she figured. Well time passed on and we didn't let it get in the way of our friendship and we still hung out a lot and just didn't talk about it, because she really didn't want to, and i thought its fine, i don't feel that way towards her because of thse feelings for this other girl etc. For a while i started to think she had simply just used me when she kissed me, she seriously came on so strong and after that she was just like im straight...but a couple weeks later, she starts being all flirty with me again, she would do things like play with my hands and arms, or try to play wrestle with me...sometimes she would still spend the night and if i lied there and try to go to sleep she would jump on me trying to wake me up, or she would grab my hand and play with my hand, like before but more excessive, there is no extra bed in my house so she has always stayed in my room (i live with my parents lol) but now when I would wake up and she would be snuggled up on me (not my doing at all), its almost everytime she stays now, i have a huge bed...so i can't see that being an accident, plus before she wouldn't really do that, its a more recent thing. When we hang out in a group of our close friends, like if we are drinking i tend to talk to everyone because i am loud and outgoing, and it only seems like if don't pay attention to her she gets emotional and goes off by herself, (a while ago there was this one time where there were other people there she was talking to, and i was with 2 of my good friends i hadn't seen in a while so it wasn't around her that much, and she did the whole emotional thing, and it wasn't because she was getting no attention at all cause she was with people, it was just from me she wasn't getting a whole lot). This wasn't the first time either, shes done this kind of stuff before, and me and our friend would always try to talk to her, calm her down an figure out why she left everyone, and she wouldn't say anything....but when its just me and her shes fine and not emotional at all. We also like 2 weeks ago, for a couple days jsut kept fighting and getting mad at each other for stupid stupid reasons, she left on bad terms when she went on holiday vacation with her family to go visit more family in ohio. Where she was staying she didn't have internet & couldn't call, so i hadn't talked to her for a week and a half. Randomly on christmas eve she texts me all happy and calls me, and we talk for a couple hours. Then today she sent me texts saying random things, then she called and we talked for real long time about christmas and stuff. So heres my problem, even though we fought and with her being gone, i realize that i miss her so much, and i can't wait to see her, and im starting to feel like i like her a lot and now, she won't be home til 5 more days, which sucks! We are planning on spending new years toghether with like 3 of our close friends, and im so excited. I want to be able to talk to her about how i am feeling though, i hope i am not being silly and wishful thinking that she does like me and is scared/nervous because she has been continually being flirty and clingy with me, is that normal? Even though she said she was straight, i think she was just saying that....is it possible she said that because she is scared/nervous and confused? i dunno....So what do ya'll think? Should i go for it, is it worth a shot?..i am a little lost about how to go about this, i don't want to screw up like i just recently did with this other person, but this is sort of a real different situation. I have thought of two options, Option A: i am wondering if it would be a good idea if first i should try to respond back when she is flirting with me, and see how that goes, lol think that would surprise her because like i said...i am not the flirty type..lol. Or B: would it be wiser to just come right out and ask her about it and tell her that i feel like she keeps flirting with me, and hold back telling her how i feel about her, and see what she explains, and then say more from there. any other things i could do!? any advice and help would mean a lot too me!!

hmmm i think distance works. well...gradual distance, thats what has happened to me, and i am finding that has helped tremedously. I know back when I had it really bad for my friend if i had broken off all contact it would have messed me up, but gradually works. At first it feels terrible, but the more and more you just keep on truckin, eventually i hit a point where i realized it will be okay. If you focus on other people too, that works. But of course we are all different and deal with things differently. But... Attaching emotion can pontentially lead to emotional pain or withdrawl. so if you depend on this love for a friend and depend on and feel so happy around them..... if you just cut off any interaction and go cold turkey of course its gunna suck. People actually are addicted to certain emotions, humans get addicted to emotions chemically, the same way we can get addicted to herion......i think i said that right...lol (...go check out the movie 'what the bleep do we know' extremely interesting, it will really get you thinking about lot of things and make you wonder....its good stuff) link removed

so i wrote her, and she responded.... she told me all week she has felt like she had to beg me to hang out, even though...that clearly is not how it has been at all, so i have no idea what she is talking about, its just been in the last 2 days ...wow is she ever disillusioned... she isn't making sense. She kept apolozing saying that she tried to hang out with all these people the past 2 days, and it was wrong and unfair of her to try to do that....Which, i agree with. this was the last thing she said.... "i miss talking though and i'd really appreciate us hanging out thursday if you're free just to talk about what's going on in school and life and like just get all our feelings straight and lately i've just felt sorta weird, not like abandoned but like alone or like jealous of you and ------ hanging out everyday cuz that's what we used to do, but we're both busy at different times so its hard...i don't know what i feel but im sorry if you've felt that i didn't want to hang out with you because i do" The person she is referring to is my other really close friend ( who had a crush on me and actually made out with me, but then flipped out and told me she was straight, lol....crazy i know). I have had a feeling for quite some time that she was jeolous of this friend, and so has this other friend..she actually feels like she is hated by this girl. It doesn't make sense for her to be jeoulous...when she has had several chances to just hang out with me. She would have free time to hang out and asked me and my friend to hang out...but it was always bad timing for my friend because she has other obligations sometimes, so i would try to plan and tell her me and her could still hang out and then she would change her mind and say maybe next time with more people...can't be alone with me for some reason...even though for 3 years in highschool it was me and her constantly. She started not wanting to hang out with just me...actually a little before i told her i liked her. After I told her...she stopped completely, So it doesn't hold much merit with me when she says she actually wants to hang out. If she feels alone liek she said, i dunno what i can do about that, she has been on dates she has been hanging out with this whole huge grupe of people, she has had chances to chill with me,...i have never failed to be there for her...I have told her I will be her friend as long as thats possible, I have always been able to make time to chill, I am not a busy body. So its weird to hear her say that. I feel sad ugh. I shall see if thursday actually happens.

it is so difficult to read behavior...geez! I am alright with any outcome at this point. I have re-established some lost friendships, I have grown closer to another good friend of mine. Its not the end of the world if me and her end. Apart of me is starting to think she feels obligated to hang out with me, for some messed up reason. hmm, but If she does like me, she would have to do some more growing up before i could move forward with it. So hmm, I think whats best right now is writing to her because obviously having a direct convo is proving difficult to achieve ...lol, I am gunna email and ask her whats up and tell her how i feel, give her the chance to explain, and then I think i will be able to decided for sure what to do. I have really appreciated the replies, thanks . I'll let ya'll know how it turns out.

thanks so much scarew and bestrongbehappy. I honestly think anything could be possible, it could be a power trip, flakyness, she could have a good excuse, she could like me. I won't know if she isn't willing to open up and tell me the truth, so i guess that says it all right there. she tried to contact me again later tonight, and i hear a bunch of people in the background and she asked me to go to a movie tonight with this random person, even though she said she wanted to hang out with me later with my other friend....so i ended up saying i'd call her back and I ...actually hung up on her. I never called because I didn't want to bother with it or let it ruin my night, so i met up with some old friends which was really awesome. But later she texted me and asked me again to go somewhere, i flat out said no. I don't want to come off as being immature about it, like hanging up and not calling back...but i don't see a point in making an effort if she is gunna be weird. I don't see why she is making an effort just to ditch out on me or try to get me hang out with people i don't really enjoy being around. If she has an issue with me telling her i liked her, she isn't trying to express that, she has been avoiding hanging out with me alone and even really speaking to me. Yet she is going at great lengths to try to chill...but only if she can secure a third wheel, almost as if she wouldn't be comfortable with just the two of us all the sudden..but how are we supposed to work things out or talk!? Its all so stupid. At this point,. I almost don't even think its worth the energy to try to figure it out, especially if she isn't willing to seriously talk to me. I have a feeling this friendship is going to end.....regardless if we ever speak of whats been going on. hmmm, life will go on.

Thanks squirrel I am the reliable type aswell, i try my best to always be there for my friends and family. I have no idea if she could have feelings for me, I haven't had to chance to talk to her ...because... She let me down yet again today I don't think she wants to hang out alone with me. Today.. she called me a bunch of times and texted me saying "when you wake up call me so we can make a snowman and watch a movie!" Pretty much the same story as yesterday, her wanting to chill and watch a movie.. so i get a hold of her and tell her i'd call her back after i talked to my sister who was coming to my house because she and her gf broke up, they are sorta engaged to have a commitment ceremony, so my sister was quite upset, and i explained this to my friend and she understood and told me to just call back, but it turned out my sis never came over and just went to work things out. So i quickly returned the call and explained it, and she says ok and that she has an idea to hang out somewhere and tells me we should invite my other best friend ( which...they both hate each other..so that made no sense), and I told her I think she might already have plans but i'd ask anyways and i'd call her rightback. So as i am inviting my other friend to come along, she calls me back, and tells me these 3 other people just called her (2 of which i don't know and one of which i am unable to be around anymore for several reasons) i tell her nicely that i'd have to pass (she knows how i feel about this particular person). She said well maybe we can still hang out later. but I doubt it. Two days in a row she makes plans with me and when I say yeah i'll hang out ...her plans suddenly change. why even bother I am so frustrated , I'm not gunna play this stupid game. It really hurts, Next time she calls me i'm just gunna say what i have to say, and see what happens. ](*,)

hmm. well tomorrow I am supposidly going to be hanging out with my 'best friend' for the first time since I told her I liked her. All day friday she called and left me messages (because i didn't have my phone) and sent me a few texts, which I responded too, she was asking to hang out tonight and then also today. I have not spoken to her about what I told her, I haven't really spoken to her besides a lame internet convo about meaningless nothing. I am fearful its gunna be awkward, and Its just going to turn out to be blah, I don't even know if I should see her, I have been re-evaluating our friendship and a lot of people have been telling me lately, is not real good friend to me. hmm my thoughts are that, I can except the fact that she doesn't have feelings for me, and when I set that aside and we're strictly just friends,....why would a friend do this: not talk to me for a week, tries to contact me several times out of the blue askingfor me to hang out, and then when I tell her sure lets chill..and she tells me she will call when she is ready to hang....she never does so, and when I finally wonder why she hasn't, i call her, and she tells me she can't actually hang out anymore, at first she doesn't say why. And then later when I am out with other friends she randomly texts me and tries to apologize and says she was on a date longer then she expected..........i guess i am wondering..how crappy is it for a friend to do this.....who does that? whats the deal? I am confused, and sorta hurt. All day she had been contacting me to make plans with me. how can she schedule a date...even though since like 9 am in the morning she was trying to get in contact with me to hang out and actually made plans with me..and all the sudden she has a date?!..how does that turn out??? I don't even know if its worth my time to see her tomorrow, im thining about canceling before i get let down again...and I am sorta starting to believe what my friends have been telling me i think i need to let go and move on.

good for you for being able to tell her! thats awesome you two are closer!

alcohol is bad.lol. so i have this friend and she told me a month or so ago that she used to have a crush on me, and then later on i asked her if she still did, and she pretty much said yeah. So the other night she came over and we got drunk, it wasn't a big deal we drink together sometimes. and I got really smashed, and we are on my bed, and she starts kissing me and we make out. Right afterwards she starts apologizing, and saying she just wanted to experiment, and she said she doesn't want me to think its like that or whatever, and she didn't mean for that to happen with me. thats what i think she said, I don't remember exactly though. and now i feel stupid because last night i got really drunk again because i was partying with some old friends , and i some how find my way onto a computer and i send her an email telling her i like her and i got a reply saying that i will find some one some day. I almost feel sorta used and led on, and I am confused if i actually do like her. I have had a feeling that for the last couple weeks she has acted really interested in me, i don't know. maybe she did just want to experiment or whatever and now she knows that she isn't like that. i definitely know I am bi, and she knew i was too. I am worried this is going to make things incredibly awkward ](*,) crap!

hey imsoinlovewithher...rants are fine, I rant all the time lol. I can seriously relate to what you said. I was sorta like you, insecure about the friendship, me and my best friend were really close but we weren't really that close because I couldn't tell her of my feelings, so i felt like i was lying to her, and I at times I would get jeolous . I as well felt like I neglected other friends. I seriously came close to telling her of my feelings for her, but i was fearful it would screw things up. For my situation though...It is completely 50/50 for me that something could happen between us, i know her views of gays etc, she might be herself... but i always feel that apprehention. Recently for a couple weeks we have been totally distant, we slowly started fading away on my part and on hers, we went from seeing each other 5 times a week to 2-0 times. I was sad for a while, but honestly it was for the best. You will be alright with out her, and maybe a little distance between you two is necesary to let you know that it will. Maybe try focusing on other friends and people. That's what I am doing right now, it was rough, but I feel a lot better about myself and the friendships I have. I think what robowarrior and roasted carrots brought up is something you could maybe consider, if you haven't already. Actually after I distanced myself, lately me and her have been hanging out slowly and talking more. I think its because she started noticing I was getting closer to other people, specifically this one girl, and she seemed to get upset and irratated,but she didn't really explain and dropped the matter though. I don't know what that means, maybe she realized how much we mean to each other, I dunno, but we are hanging again, and this time I no longer feel so insecure of our friendship, so its better. .... the instance you explained about getting no hug in the car happened to me last night too haha Anyway I hope this helped out in some way, I know how hard it can be. Feel free to pm.

Mslady I appreciate your words, but it isn't like that, see...my friend with the old crush on me asked me the other day if I was sure if i had feelings for this other girl and I told her I did, and thne I asked her of this jeoulous she has of this girl i like... and I actually asked her if she still liked me because I had a feeling she did, and she pretty much said yes. She kept like touching my face that night and leaning on me. And she flirts with me a lot more, and keeps trying to bring it up, asking me about like crushes I have I am unsure of what to tell her or what to do, I have told her I don't see it being like that and I like my other friend a lot, but recently, I have been so confused and I think just might be developing feelings for her but I am not sure. I don't want to hurt her feelings, I know it took her a lot to admit it to me, and I value her friendship so much, I think that is all I want it to be, because I like this other girl so much, but I am not sure if that will ever work out. now I know what its like on both ends on the liking your best friend situation. Its just tough, not wanting to screw things up or hurt peoples feelings. So to answer you Tigris, yes I have thought about it a lot..but I am even more unsure of what I am going to do. lol

THINGS HAVE GOTTEN CRAZY! okay so I haven't told her yet. So many things have been thrown at me and I am so confused and I can't get my mind off any of it. So basically my other best friend (no the one i have feelings for) admitted to me that 2 years ago she had a crush on me, but only for a couple days, before i ever came out or considered myself bi. She knows how much i like my other friend, she was the first to know taht i liked my other friend and pretty much first to know I am bi. I think she think she might, but I NEVER EVER thought she was or ever could be a les...ever, and I can never ever see us in that way, she is strictly one of my friends, maybe I am making it a bigger deal than it is, it just surprised me I guess, I won't let things change. But what is interesting is that the girl i like says she has always know that this other friend was a les and has never said anything, but she knew, and I asked her how long she has thought and she said 2 years ago pretty much the same time period of this crush. She won't tell me the reasons why she thought my friend was les, no one who knows this friend has ever thought that, i havent!! its strange to me. So i told her about her having a crush on me, and she didn't seem surprised. And she asked a couple times on long the lines of wanting to know if i actually liked this friend like that, and i told her it wasn't like that. she also said that she thought she herself at some point was a lesbian but she could never see her self like in a relationship with a girl but she finds women attractive.. but...my other friend who actually admitted to having a crush on me said she couldnt picture herself in a relationship with a girl as well, and she told me she was actually jeoulous when I told her i liked my best friend. AHHHHHH both of them never seemed to like each other all that much (like a bad tension between them) one always felt liek the other didn't like them much. Is it possible they both see themselfs in each other (if that makes sense) and they know what the other is all about or something, i could be wrong but it seems that way, and they both suspected each other of being les at one point.....This is all so suprising to me and I am so confused! do they both like me? help!

lol, never ever planned on getting drunk with her and doing that, it would never happen. I wouldn't do that to her or myself. Okay just to get my thoughts all organized..... its safe to say she doesnt know what to do or what she is feeling and doesnt understand this sick feeling she feels with the guys she has dated, she is a lesbian, doesnt like guys like that, and afraid because she feels pressure to be straight. That makes so much sense when I think about it...wow..lol. Oh and what you said ballys... she like you doesn't have a problem talking. What you shared does sound like what it could be, thanks for sharing that. so before I tell her of my feelings I should wait, and ask her if she has thought about it or figured anything out at all, and help her sort through and understand. I should be patient with this, although lol, I am certain she will catch on right away, I think she may already know I like her. We both have been acting differently. Now I think she does like me back, but is really confused and afraid. and we both are wary, not wanting to mess things up and not sure what to do. Thanks tigris, that sounds like a good idea about explaining her about myself and helping her like that, and yes I do have some lesbians friends, and she knows who they are, but she rarely ever is with me when I hang out with them, but that can change. thank you so much for the wonderful advice and thoughts. I greatly appreciate it!!!! I'll let ya'll know how this pans out.

rightfromthestart...LOL!!! .... too bad she doesn't drink! lol. thanks ballys, that makes sense to start there.. but I actually know that she hasn't kissed a woman. She has only been kissed by one guy, she dated him a couple years ago on and off for a couple months, but the day after he kissed her she broke it off, never explained to him why, and explained to me she didn't like him like that and wasn't attracted to him. she has told me on different occasions that she feels sick and she doesnt feel like herself when she hangs out with guys she is dating,and she gets all weird about hanging out alone with them, which no one understands, and she always breaks up before anything gets serious. When I ask her why she feels this way or why she does this, she just says she doesn't know why. I think she has been avoiding dating because of this. So when I hear she has been questioning her sexuality for years (before she has even dated anyone) I think that could explain this sick feeling and avoidance. Or could I be wrong and there is another reason or thing going on here? Its confused me and I want to help her..and I actually haven't thought of her sexuality as an explaination until now, lol. I will talk to her. But I am curious to know if this kind of thing is normal or if anyone has experience/heard of this situation. Any thoughts or opinions?

Okay, so I am 18 year old bi and I have this best friend, I think I really do love her. She knows I am bi,but she does not know of my feelings for her. When I told her a while back about me, she seemed okay with it. She brought it up Later she tells me she thinks she has for a long time questioned herself. I didn't know what to say, it honestly caught me off guard lol. I think she might be really confused. The topic has not come up again.I think hearing her say she is think she might be bi, has made things worse and I like her more and I am confused as to how to approach this. I am worried I'll scare her away and lose her friendship. I guess I haven't been giving her as much attention as I used to(which may be the wrong thing to do), but when I do its kind of flirty, and sometimes I'll bring up something like a movie I watched with lesbian characters (not an adult film..lol), and she will be okay with it and ask questions, haha I actually watched one with her, I told her it was my favorite movie and she said she really wanted to see it, and she seemed okay with watching it. I didn't get to ask and discuss with her about it afterward, because two other friends came to hang out with us after. A couple people have told me she seems to get really jeolous if I don't give her attention. But this could just be best friend jeolousy. I used to have that really bad with her, but not as bad as it was. I have changed and grown and am more secure since coming out. But in the past I was really jeoulous and only with her because I liked her so much! With this other best friend I have I never get jeolous, so I know its different. I don't know what is going on here, or what I should do. I want to be able to tell her but Its so hard getting past that doubt and fear, so I don't know how to bring it up. But it also seems like there is never a chance to talk about it. What should I to do?? sorry for the long post!