He's playing a game

[a2000]

I wrote this thread the other day but now the situation has changed so I will summarise what has happened below

 

 

 

- Went out on 3 dates with a guy from university (out for a drink and to the cinema) We liked each other but I told him we were total opposites i'm shy/quiet he's loud/extrovert/popular. He said he liked that so I decided to give it another go.

- So next time, he asked me round his place to watch a movie, we didn't watch much of it…

- The next time he just asks me round his place, same thing happens (no s_x though)

- Now from what I gathered is that he only wants one thing and I am not prepared to give it to him because we hardly talk apart from when he asks me round

- I told him that this is too casual for me and he says he respects my decision and that we can still be friends

 

However last night he sent me a text saying "if you aren't going out tonight u should come round to watch a film but if not, have a good night"

 

I didn't text back.

 

I thought we worked out I wasn't going to come round anymore?

 

Why is he messing with my head. I know he only wants casual s_x but he knows I am not into that.

 

What shall I say when he next asks me round?

 

I think I am too nice to him and too weak to tell him I can't see him anymore, maybe he thinks he can walk all over me.

[Lion-Guy]

He can unless you put yout foot down. Ignore his messages or tell him NO if you are not interested in casual sex. Make him ask you out on a "formal date" if he wants to get to know you better as a person and not an object.

[Lansing]

Maybe he was bored and wanted someone to watch a movie with. (sarcasm)....

 

Yeah, I would stay away from going to this place. If you want to hang out as "friends" it should be done outside his place... Sounds like he was getting horny so he invited you over for some making out/whatever...

[blemished]

He sounds like a jerk. I would ignore him and go find another date who will actually treat you right.

[a2000]

***UPDATE****

 

I need some more help! Thanks for your replies, I agree that he is a jerk but I have another problem.

 

I told him that I couldn't see him anymore because we hardly ever talk. We only talk when he wants me to come round. But now he is asking me mundane things like how my day was etc… and we are talking nearly every day!

 

So now I can't use not talking as an excuse not to see him and I know he'll eventually ask me round and I'll say no and he'll say "but we talk more now"

 

The thing is… I like him but I don't want to be his girlfriend now I know more about him even though I am attracted to him but also I know he doesn't want a relationship, just s_x.

 

What can I say to him when he next asks me round?

 

I'll say "that's not a good idea" and he'll say "but we are just friends, whats the problem?"

 

He has an answer for everything.

 

Help!

[Siriana]

Why are you so worried not to insult him - he is treating you with no respect - how come you think he deserves respect?

if he asks you simply say: no, I have other plans ans say you got to go.

If he asks for more details say why do you want to know?

If he gives you some * * * *y answer to that say- I have to go bye.

 

Why do you worry if you're going to be rude. He's not gold, he's a piece...

[Batya33]

Say: thanks again for your invitation. I am not comfortable coming to your place to watch a movie and I am asking that you respect my feelings on that. If you would like to see me why don't we meet out somewhere and take a walk (etc).

[Ant1975]

Still sounds like hes trying to get you in the sack and is only making convo to respond to the reason you gave for not coming around. Forget him and have no further contact with this guy unless you like feeling used. Will only end in tears and better to cut contact the sooner the better. Good luck

[a2000]

Thanks for your replies.

 

I can't be that rude to him because I see him everyday at university but even though I see him, we don't acknoledge each other and we only seem to talk by text message!

 

I'll have to work out something to text back when he next asks me round, kind of like your replies. I'll let you know how it goes

[Batya33]

I would avoid texting about this issue.

[a2000]

I would avoid texting about this issue.

It's the only way. We hardly talk in person especially if he is with his mates and we never talk on the phone.

 

Now I'm typing this, he is a jerk isn't he?

 

I just want to move on to be honest

[Batya33]

I don't think you can have any type of real relationship that's based just on typing and rarely seeing each other. Just my humble opinion.