Updates: Bf broke up with me this wed 11/8/09

[krnswte143]

As i posted similar one as this.. I want to add more details on it. I am feeling very sad now. I couldnt eat for 2 days now but I am getting a little better. I knew our relationship wouldnt last long. I guess I told myself maybe it was possible to be toghether in the long run. We were having too much problem in 1 year. Jase ( my ex name) he said he doesnt see any future with me because we have too much problem. He says what will it be like 10 years from now. There will be more problems as the relationship goes. He doesnt want to be with me now and doesnt want to talk to me now. He told me to leave him alone. he said we could be still be friends and talk again later in few month. I'm sure he feels very sad about this too. I wish i could change back time and make things work out good.

 

i was having a problem with him living w/ an ex. ( and other people) things werent going good. I guess i was jealous and had trust issues. I know my issues and I will work on it. I even snooped around because the situation I was in. I even told him that. he wasnt very happy about it. he even said, somene close to him spying on him..it'll take him some time to forget. I feel so horrible for what i did and cause. Maybe this is part of reason he is ending it. Anyways, he doesnt want to try anymore. Im sure he is tired and fed up. We argue every month for the whole year. its not heallthy at all. I was planning on breaking up too but was afraid.

 

I think i could handle this smoothly because I knew this was coming to me. I wasnt happy and he wasnt too. We both didnt see a future so we both end it.

 

I tried to get back wit him yesterday but he kept saying no and no and no. That it was over. I feel very sad to hear this from him. what can i do right? just gotta move on.

 

So, today is my first day of no contact. He is online but I am not talking to him. It's funny though. He always goes on AIM right? He signs on Yahoo just to talk to me.. funny thing is.. he is signed on Yahoo. I didnt sign on AIM cus I am going to avoid him. Anyways, I guess i got my hopes up thinking he is thinking about me and stuff. I feel as if he will come back to me but I dont think so. as he said it is over. I read his xanga and he wrote this ( a quote i guess)

 

But then of course everything always happens for a reason

I guess it was never meant to be

But it's just something we have no control over and that's what destiny is

But no more worries, rest your head and go to sleep

Maybe one day we'll wake up and this will all just be a dream.

 

Eminem

 

 

Maybe he is right.. it wasnt meant to be..

 

 

So, I have a question to ask .. how long do u wait til u talk to your exes again? I know from my past experience...it takes about roughly few month to get over but for some it takes awhile.. I know i want him back so bad now!! but knowing the problem i dont think it'll work . I wanan remain friends w/ him. He wants that too. Since we both are good people. But I dont know.

 

also, if u really loved/cared for me he'll come back right??? or is this all over? right now, i jus want him back so bad.. i miss him n i love him so much! i cried for 2 days now.. am doin a lil better.. i ono wat to do!!!! help!!!! i wanna talk to him or send email to get bak.........maybe give him time to miss me?.......

 

 

i dun wanna meet any guy,... i want him. i know its impossible.. but maybe after awhile we dont talk and see how it goes from there?

 

He still has my stuff ( jus a jacket and shoes) i was about to get it back and we talked about it but i jus end up saying maybe when we both are cool down i'll go get it and he said he'll take good care of it...

 

will there be still hope in the future??

[NJRon]

You said in the beginning of the post that you don't make a good couple and that neither of you were happy. So, there really is no point in getting back together. I know it's painful, but sometimes it's better just to let go and move on. You will know it's time that you can start talking to him again when you don't care whether he is seeing other people or not.

 

As for your stuff, maybe a friend of his can drop it off to you.

 

Hang in there...

[krnswte143]

You said in the beginning of the post that you don't make a good couple and that neither of you were happy. So, there really is no point in getting back together. I know it's painful, but sometimes it's better just to let go and move on. You will know it's time that you can start talking to him again when you don't care whether he is seeing other people or not.

 

As for your stuff, maybe a friend of his can drop it off to you.

 

Hang in there...

 

thanks for the comment.. yeah i know it is very painful.. im sure i'll get throgh it.. im gonna misss him a lot.. maybe he'l miss me too. its so sad that it happened like this.. u learn from ur mistakes..

[NJRon]

Yeah, learning is all you can really do. Sometimes painful things need to happen in order to allow yourself the opportunity for something better. Hopefully you wll find someone that doesn't cause you insecurity and arguments... I'm sure he will miss you... people always miss those that were significant in their lives. But, missing each other is not a good reason to be together.

 

Best wishes...

[krnswte143]

Yeah, learning is all you can really do. Sometimes painful things need to happen in order to allow yourself the opportunity for something better. Hopefully you wll find someone that doesn't cause you insecurity and arguments... I'm sure he will miss you... people always miss those that were significant in their lives. But, missing each other is not a good reason to be together.

 

Best wishes...

 

yeah i know

 

i also feel so horrible checkin his emails all this time. hes probably piss about that too.. i mean if he really did love me he would forgivve me right? maybe he is very disappointed.. i would be shock too if he was reading my emails but i would forget it about cus i havve nothing to hide.. this relationship was bad for me cus it turn me into a jealous person n had trust issues i knew i had to go out but was afraid... im glad that i am out now..

[catgirl82]

breaking up is devastating, i know from experience (i think many of us do). its always worse than you envision it to be. i am so sorry that youre going through this

 

you need to believe that you WILL get through this. you will feel sad and depressed and lonely, and you have to understand that it will pass and you will not feel like this forever. you will even come to realize that breaking up was the best thing that couldve happened (you already know that things werent working).

 

once you are through the tough phase of recovery, you will be a much stronger, happier, healthier person who can really go out and find a relationship that is going to make you happy. and then you'll be SO glad that this happened.

 

does that make sense?

 

 

i know for a fact that thousands of us readers here at enotalone have been through this and know what i'm talking about. breakups usually happen for a reason (have you heard of the book "they call it a breakup because its broken? by the same guy who wrote "hes just not that into you"). there is truth to that statement. breakups happen because at least one person isnt happy and ive found that usually people dont change and things never get better.

 

here is my own personal story: i dated a guy for 2 years. we were convinced we were soul mates, that we would get married. but we fought SO much and i was unhappy more than i was happy. looking back, it sounds crazy that i wanted to even marry him, but hindsight is 20/20. eventually, after about the 100th breakup, we realized that we were officially done. it was very devastating, scary, uncomfortable, and weird for me. but eventually it all clicked- why am i pining away for this relationship that wasnt good for me? now i am FREE to go find something better that will truly fulfill me. needless to say, i got over him and dated many guys after him and realized that i could be happy again.

 

just be hopeful, optimistic, and confident that you can get through this. you are stronger than you think! just trust me on this one...

[Batya33]

If someone breached my privacy and trust by reading my e-mails I would have a hard time forgiving even if I had nothing to hide. It would be his behavior in snooping, not the content of the e-mails, that would upset me.

 

It sounds like a lot of this relationship was based on drama - which is unhealthy. Do yourself a favor and stop looking at his web site because you will over analyze and get overly sensitive. If it is meant to be, he will contact you and you will both agree you have issues to work on - perhaps with a couples therapist. Good luck.

[krnswte143]

thanks !!

 

i know i will get through this but it is very painful cus i really loved him. im sure he did too.. things were going good cus i keep havin problems w/ him and his ex ( they roomate with other ppl ina house) we fought every month.. we were happy before.. jus few hrs ago i was lookin at our pics we took.. it put a big smile on my face.. cus it was good memories.. i know i'l get through this cus i been in this situation many many times cus i know the process hehehe.... its jus this was my first longest relationship... so it is a bit painful u know?/ it'll be hard n werid that everyweekend from now i wont be spending it with him anymore... but i'll get over it. i'l find stuff to do. hehe. it takes time. time heals the pain

 

one another thing....my ex said to leave him alone... and he doesnt want to talk to me for now for ahwhile...maybe few month later.... do u think hes really mad n hate me? or what? he aslo said he doesnt want to be wit me for now. and that it is over? im confused...

[krnswte143]

If someone breached my privacy and trust by reading my e-mails I would have a hard time forgiving even if I had nothing to hide. It would be his behavior in snooping, not the content of the e-mails, that would upset me.

 

It sounds like a lot of this relationship was based on drama - which is unhealthy. Do yourself a favor and stop looking at his web site because you will over analyze and get overly sensitive. If it is meant to be, he will contact you and you will both agree you have issues to work on - perhaps with a couples therapist. Good luck.

 

yeah i know. it was my fault to do that....gues my emotions took over.. he was livin w/ an ex , that went out 13 yrs ago or so.. its long time but i was having trust n jealous issues. as he said too. guess thats why he broke up w/ me cus of my issues and too much problems.. i guess i pushed him away for good this time. i ono. i feel half regret and half relieved.. regret, cus i really wanted to try n see how it goes cus i love him.... relieved , that i wouldnt be in this drama anymore.

 

maybe if its meant to be.. he'l contact me n see how it goes . but for now he doesnt want to deal with me.

[rmpavlock]

You will get through this! It's tough at first because everything just happened, but once you are away from it for awhile you'll see that it was for the best. If neither of you was happy, then breaking up was the right thing to do. I would definitely recommend not contacting him at all right now though. Give your emotions time to calm down. After that happens, you probably won't even want to contact him. At this point just look at your past mistakes and work on them for your future relationships. Try not to dwell on the past too much though.

[krnswte143]

thanks

 

yeah, its very hard.. im trying to not dwell on the past as much now.. maybe it was for the best in my situation. we both werent happy but i was trying to be more better and think everything will be fine.. but i guess i was wrong. i guess its all over now betweem me and him. i know my mistakes i made in my part and i'll work on that for future relationships. i gues its very hard to believe it just happened but then again i knew it was coming because i was thinking of breaking up too. so i think this is good. right now, he and i are not talking at all. as he says for me to leave him alone now and so i am not talking to him. i do not even want to try to. i am hurt myself too. i need some time away from all this too. maybe in the future, we'll become friends or something.

 

i keep thinking he'll come back to me cus i know he really love/care for me.. but i cant hope for anything right? i do have a feeling that he'll come back. i mean we were so happy and in love with each other..although the problem was there and never solved. i gues he got tired of my issues and problems.. and plus i told him about snooping around.. i guess he jus needs time away from me now. i dont blame him. i wish i could change back time and make thing better.. but who knows.. if there is such thing is fate.. i'l let it decide for me.

[rmpavlock]

I know that you are missing him, but in your earlier post you said that neither one of you was happy. Keep in mind that it wasn't all that great if that was the case. If he does ask you back, is that something you want to go back to?

[krnswte143]

hey, i actually went over my ex house today to get rest of my stuff.. was goin to wait few month but theres no point. were not gonna talk anymore for awhile. i went there. he still had our pictures up on his room. he still had my gifts n cards in there too.. but anyways, i talk to him and said that im sorry this has to come to an end and that hope everything goes well with you and etc.. i cried n cried and even hugged him n cried . but he made up his mind and he dosnt want to be w/ me right now. he needs some time away from me and the dramas. same goes for me. i need time away from it too. he said maybe in the future we could be toghether again. if any one of us dont find anyone. but i hardly doubt that will happen. he said u never know.

 

i said i was very soorry to snoop around and how little crazy i went . iguess i wasnt handling the situation good. since he lives w/ an ex ( went out 13 yrs ago) and other ppl. guess i couldnt handle it. anyways, its over betweem him and i. i am very hurt n sad now. but i ended it nice. he walk me to my car. we both gave each other hugs and said our goodbyes. cute thing was, he said he was about to cry and that i should go now.. and he walk away.. n i stayed in my car and he turned around. that made me feel good so now i could move on peacefully.

 

maybe in the future, we could remain friends or not. but for now. i'll give him space and myself too.