Is it normal to cheat??

[Briella]

So here is my problem...

 

I'm 20 years old in a long term relationship.

 

We've only ever slept together and we talk about marrying etc...

 

I'm happy with the thought of only being with him, yet it seems in mags etc... that it is normal for people to cheat with one night stands because being with one person forever is not normal.

 

I trust my boyfriend yet i know that he has urges. I have complete trust in him but i don't want him to feel he is missing out on anything.

 

Do i leave now in fear that he will cheat on me, or stay and be in fear that he might due to the pressure around these days.

 

Any advice??

[Cid]

do what your hart tells you, if he loves you he will not cheat on you. I would not leave but that is me.

[Briella]

My heart tells me he would never hurt me. We have such an intense bond.. we have been together for five years, since we were both 15.

 

It just seems that these days it is becoming more natural to seek comfort in sex when things are becoming tough in relationships.

 

I know i worry too much all the time.

 

I just am scared i guess, about the whole lifetime thing.

[Daligal83]

I wouldn't assume what your boyfriend wants based on the media out there. Remember that the media shows a distorted view of reality. If he isn't giving you a reason to think he wants to cheat, then trust him. Are you sure that you aren't the one having second thoughts about only being with him?

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

It's eerily simple - if he loves you, he won't have any strong enough urges that will make him cheat on you.

 

If he cheats on you, he does not love you. Period. So leave if he does.

[brando]

I don't believe that if someone cheats is an indication of how much or little they love you.

 

I wouldn't be too concerned about the article, and both men and women do cheat.

 

Part of life. Their is no way to cheat-proof your relationship.

[yeawutever]

When someone cares about you and have values/morals, they don't cheat, they communicate.

[shes2smart]

Cheating is not a new phenomenon. It's been going on since the concept of monogamous relationships has been around. Only difference is, in the past there was more social pressure to hide the cheating. Now, other things are taboo topics, but just about anything sexual is in the open.

 

Cheating is not inevitable. It's a choice people make. They can make the choice to cheat or they can make the choice to remain faithful. It's not something that "just happens."

 

It's too overwhelming if you think about things in terms of "lifetime." Change your focus -- what can I do today to keep this relationship honest and healthy? A relationship that lasts a lifetime isn't built all at once and you certainly don't live it all at once...you manage it one day at a time.

[AngelEyez]

Stay with him. Don't break up with him because of what you think will happen. If he ends up cheating on you, life goes on right...You'll know he's a low-life and you gave him a chance to prove himself.

[MessedUpInHead]

My heart tells me he would never hurt me. We have such an intense bond.. we have been together for five years, since we were both 15.

 

It just seems that these days it is becoming more natural to seek comfort in sex when things are becoming tough in relationships.

 

I know i worry too much all the time.

 

I just am scared i guess, about the whole lifetime thing.

 

if you are scared why have you waited 5 years...obviously you love him & he loves you.

 

are you having urges or thoughts on your part & thinking he's having the same?

[BeStrongBeHappy]

this falls into the category of there are no guarantees in life... but you are worrying about something that may happen, and you might also win $10 million in the lottery, or die when a tree limb falls on your while walking down the street or.... just because you worry about or hope for something does not mean it will inevitably happen... you get the point.

 

the way to look at this is cheating is not inevitable, though people do cheat... and just because SOME people cheat doesn't necessarily mean that he will, especially if there is a strong emotional bond between you and your relationship is healthy and he is a moral person who doesn't condone cheating in other people or himself.

 

i think rather than worrying about him cheating tho, you are better spending your time trying to build your relationship, communicate with him openly, and try to keep your relationship good enough he would have no incentive to do so.

 

i think what you are doing is a lot like people do when they get on an airplane and then obsess the whole time about how the plane might crash... you are having a problem feeling out of control for some reason... so my advice would be to examine yourself and ask why are you so worried about him cheating when you have no evidence that he is doing so? did your father cheat on your mother? do you feel like you are not loveable or unattractive and hence he is destined to cheat?

 

it sounds to me like you might be insecure in the relationship for some reason, or insecure in yourself and why you would be able to attract and hold him, so i would examine that first, and go to a counselor if you still have constant worries about this even though he is not doing anything to really indicate he is cheating... doesn't mean you should assume he will never cheat no matter what, but that you need to find a sense of security that is not based on worrying about something that may or may not happen, and isn't happening right now, so why let it ruin your fun and enjoyment of the relationship?

[Hope75]

I think even after the longest and strongest of relationships that there may always be a time when a person looks at another and has a brief, fleeting moment of temptation, but in reality most of the times that it all it is, a momentary fantasy, because the implications of cheating and ruining the strong, honest, happy, respectful and loving relationship the person is in, is not even an option for them.

 

and those who step out and follow that temptation are usually the ones who, for one reason or another, are unhappy in their present relationship, That does not make it right, but might help it make sense.

[luvursmile]

I have been with my husband for 10 years. We were each others "firsts" as well. I have thought about cheating, and Im sure he has too. But neither of us would actually do it, because we love each other. Just ask yourself if you honestly believe hes capable of it....

Dont worry about the whole "lifetime" thing, that can actually be a good thing. At least you are fortunate enough to have somebody. You just need to trust him.