Question for the ladies: what makes you fall out of love with a man?

[jmantra]

It is to my understanding women fall in love with men because they admire/respect/trust them. But what is it that makes them fall out of love with them. Is it because they cheat, are abusive, do drugs/criminal activities, are controlling, OR do they lose respect for them after really getting to know them and perceiving them as weak for whatever reason?

[jackknive]

I don't think it has anything to do with weakness... sometimes compatibility and small things play a bigger role then you are allowing them in that statement. Love is one thing, that is indeed difficult to understand. I have fallen in love with a man for his sense of humor, his intellegence, his personality.. I have fallen out sometimes because of the way he treated me, but not always. Sometimes the more you get to know someone the less compatible you find yourself to be with them... could have even been something like that..

 

I have fallen out of love when not enough time was spent together also.. or not enough quality time at least...

 

Lot of factors in play there I think, not just weakness or abusive behaviours.

[rocio]

When he's not nice to me. Huge turnoff.

[ImThatGirl]

It is to my understanding women fall in love with men because they admire/respect/trust them. But what is it that makes them fall out of love with them. Is it because they cheat, are abusive, do drugs/criminal activities, are controlling, OR do they lose respect for them after really getting to know them and perceiving them as weak for whatever reason?

 

 

Cheating, abuse, drugs, criminal activities, control = all reasons for deciding that a relationship won't work. And possibly falling out of love for someone.

 

I wouldn't necessarily fall out of love with someone but I'd choose to love myself more if any of the above issues played a part in their life or if they suddenly become disrespectful, inconsiderate, untrustworthy.

 

What kind of weakness are you speaking of?

 

I have been less than content in relationships where my bf allowed/wanted me to be the backbone of the relationship.

[quietgrl]

I would fall out of love with a man if I found out his character wasn't good. A man without character is not a good man.

[AmethystHeart]

I remember when I fell in love with my ex, it was because I loved his image of himself. He was confident, and knew who he was.

 

Later, he lost his confidence, and saw life as a horrible place, and wasn't even trying to achieve his self-image of himself as a good person. I lost my respect for him, and even though I still like him I know the point where he's going to give up trying to be a good person, and so I can't love him.

 

So I think love is a lot about how the other person sees himself and wants the world to see him - and I mean wants in that he tries a lot to achieve that. So maybe it's more of seeing what a person is tryign to be - if what they're trying to be is admirable and loveable, I'll love him - if it's loveable or he stops trying, then I'll stop being in love.

 

Heh, I've had a total of 1 relationship, so take it with a grain of salt.

[Jayar]

I loved my ex for everything I believed he was... And then fell out of love with him when I found out it had all been an illusion.

[doyathink]

I dont think I have ever fallen out of love with who I truly loved to begin with.

[jmantra]

I have been less than content in relationships where my bf allowed/wanted me to be the backbone of the relationship.

 

Can you elaborate on this a little bit? Seems a bit ambigious. Do you mean he seemed meek and wouldn't stand for you or was it he wasn't putting effort into the relationship anymore?

 

 

What kind of weakness are you speaking of?

 

Lets say that person had a neurological disorder that sometimes made social graces hard which makes having a relationship more challenging (but not impossible) or has problems with intimacy or empathy. Or the man had depression or a disability that was hard to deal with at times? Would a woman rather work through the issues or leave the relationship and find someone "better"?

 

I know this comes off a bit generalizing, but I just want to get a consensus here.

 

I dont think I have ever fallen out of love with who I truly loved to begin with.

 

*sigh*

 

love is such an amibgious concept. How do you know if you truly love someone?

[BellaDonna]

Is it because they cheat, are abusive, do drugs/criminal activities, are controlling,

 

Any one of those reasons above would do it for me, along with:

 

*taking me for granted

*being disrespectful

*letting others interfere in our relationship

 

 

BellaDonna

[ImThatGirl]

Can you elaborate on this a little bit? Seems a bit ambigious. Do you mean he seemed meek and wouldn't stand for you or was it he wasn't putting effort into the relationship anymore??

 

This is just a personal preference for me. Although I always want to maintain my own identity, I never want to be responsible for all the decisions and responsibilities alone. In the referenced relationship, everything was on my shoulders. He simply lived at the same residence.

 

Lets say that person had a neurological disorder that sometimes made social graces hard which makes having a relationship more challenging (but not impossible) or has problems with intimacy or empathy. Or the man had depression or a disability that was hard to deal with at times? Would a woman rather work through the issues or leave the relationship and find someone "better"???

 

I believe that true love lasts forever. Once a commitment is made, it should last forever. With that said, I plan to support my significant other through all times, including hard times. That plan includes them having the desire to work through those hard times too rather than just giving up. I understand sometimes the motivation may be low but ultimately, they must have the will to continue on rather than giving up on themselves.

 

Example: My son's father was/is into drugs and alcohol. He never wanted to improve life. He was satisfied with the small town we lived in and a not so nice lifestyle. I want more for my children. We have different standards of living and neither of us would budge. I couldn't accept less for my children and he refused to try for more.

[doyathink]

*sigh*

 

love is such an amibgious concept. How do you know if you truly love someone?

 

You never lose your love for them?! thats a hard question, but I think you know it in your head and your heart.

[sosolonely]

Being disresepectful, too controlling, stingy, emotionally/physically abusive, not confident, unfaithful.. there are many factors that make a woman fall out with a man.

[jilligirl]

Well, aside from the OBVIOUS reasons to fall out of love . . . (like everyone said, cheating, disrespect, abuse, etc.) . . .

 

I'd have to agree with another poster who said that when you fall out of love, it's usually because you realize that the person you're with is NOT what or how you originally thought they were.

[savigota]

When yor SO stops doing all those little special things that made you fall in love with them in the first place. They take for granted the relationship and think that it is ok to stop "caring". Love is like a plant.. you have to water and nurture it in order for it to grow and not die.

[bluesky4ever]

Lack of respect would be the main reason to fall out in love with a man.

[jazzgirrl]

When he won't let you into his heart...or his life.

[Momene]

Well it's amazing that when you've just met the things they like about you are the things that they claim bore them when you've been together a while.

[pinkelephant]

i dont think any specific thing can make a person fall out of love, at all. when you love a person, you accept their flaws... the things they do can hurt you but i dont think it'll make you not love them anymore.

[Momene]

When you get old, grey, bald and fat.

[texami]

with exception to the 'old, grey, fat' reasons... i see a lot of good answers in this thread.

 

for me, i feel it can happen when the baggage of the past bad experiences overshadow the good ones. when you reach a point when you look at the man and see more of the hurt he's given you than the joy. to me it is almost like a scale tipping from one side to the other... not just one specific moment of falling out of love, but an accumulation of negatives that eventually outweigh the positives.

[Juliana]

Stupidity.