Difficulty bringing her to orgasm without a toy

[gattsuga]

I hate to admit it, but I can't for the life of me bring my girl to orgasm with just my own hands/tongue/lips. I don't think my technique is that bad, but fingering, sucking, licking her clit doesn't ever bring her to a full blown orgasm. Only until we use a vibrating bullet at the end does she climax.

 

I communicate with her, but all she can say is everything i do is great. I ask her if she likes it slower/harder... she says it's all good.

 

I usually start out with a long session of foreplay. Kissing her lips, neck, ears very slowly. Then my thigh goes between hers and i start to rub my thigh against her slowly. All the while she's going crazy and loving every moment of it.

 

Then when i start going down on her, I don't do it too fast... I do it nice and slow, but she doesn't give me any direction even if I ask. Eventually she just stays at a certain level of stimulation and stays there. So we have to use the vibrator to finish her off.

 

I would just like to be able to give her an orgasm without a toy to finish her off. any suggestions?

[shikashika]

some women can only get off with a vibrator.. you sound like a very tender, warm affectionate person... if you are kissing, touching, rubbing and use a vibrator as well... i don't see the problem... its still loving and affectionate!

[gattsuga]

yeah, i'm not saying i don't like using the vibrator... i just would like to be able to do without it sometimes it's not like we're going to bring the vibrator everywhere we go

[NJRon]

I don't see why you don't bring the vibrator everywhere you go... you can even get an egg with no wires... beyond that, you can't *will* her to orgasm. Some girls just can't and no amount of making a big deal out of it will help. If she is enjoying things, then good... that's what the whole point of the exercise is anyway. Once you start forcing the issue, the enjoyment tends to go out the window.

 

The only other technique I would try, if you haven't already, is stimulating her g-spot while licking her at the same time. Aside from that, play around.. you never know when you might hit on something... as long as she is enjoying it.

 

It sounds like you haven't had penetration yet, so you don't know how she would react to that.

[Day_Walker]

I think that you need to introduce your gf to her g spot and possibly some anal play. Typically when you stimulate one of these areas in conjunction with the clitoris then orgasms are much easier to come by and more intense.

[shikashika]

it would be nice... but with some women it just takes longer... and its much harder and no matter what you do... it just won't happen without a heated vibrating toy.

 

I know for me... it takes the guy waaaay longer than anyone else... This is what my boyfriends have told me...they have to work at it soo long and so hard to get anything out of me... I still enjoy the process... I make sure they get a good reward for bringing me to orgasm and these guys are GREAT at what they do... nothing to do with their technique.

 

have you experimented with a lot of different positions... it works differently for everyone... sometimes just a slightly different angle of the hips can make ALL the difference.. some women need the loving kissing, rubbing all over to reach orgasm, but some women just need some FAST vibrating tongue action on ONE spot for a a good 5-10 minutes.. specifically on ONE spot...and no fingers.. sometimes fingers are distracting...

 

Every person is different, everyone reaches climax differently

[shikashika]

does she use a vibrator much on her own?

 

I know when i've used a vibrator a lot on my own... if i'm seeing someone, when I get together with my boyfriend its more difficult for him to bring me to climax because i'm used to the vibrator and what kind of orgasm that gives me

[doyathink]

I think that you need to introduce your gf to her g spot and possibly some anal play. Typically when you stimulate one of these areas in conjunction with the clitoris then orgasms are much easier to come by and more intense.

 

This is very true, try this!

 

does she use a vibrator much on her own?

 

I know when i've used a vibrator a lot on my own... if i'm seeing someone, when I get together with my boyfriend its more difficult for him to bring me to climax because i'm used to the vibrator and what kind of orgasm that gives me

 

and ....this! When you routinely use a vibrator it can desensitize the area in a big way and make it almost impossible to orgasm without it.

[Beec]

If she usually gets off only one way, sometimes it is tough to break her out of that and get her to come a different way, unless she stops doing ti the first way. And that may be asking for frustration.

[gattsuga]

as far as i know, she doesn't use a vibrator herself. i have tried the g-spot 'come hither' technique while stimulating her clit.. but that gets mixed results. she doesn't like anal at all, we tried that once, and she just doesn't get into it.

 

guess i'll keep experimenting until i find something else that works

[NJRon]

Does she orgasm while she is masturbating herself without a toy? If so, you might try observing...

[Cardinal]

I have to do a fair amount of work to bring my girl to orgasm now also. She is convinced it takes a bit longer b/c she uses her vibe exclusively. Try not using the vibe at all.

 

Also, I strongly think the answer lies somewhere with a combination of your fingers and tongue. You really need to spend a lot of time learning her gspot response. It can be tricky...very tricky. Make absolutely certain she can tell you when you are on her gspot and can identify where it is exactly. That way you can work toward knowing when precisely to stimulate it and how.

 

For my girl, we discovered that 3 fingers seemed to be the magic bullet. She comes really fast that way and would take a lot longer with just two...go figure.

 

Also try different cunnilingus positions. Sideways works great sometimes for example. Get better leverage with your arms and hands by being in totally different positions.

 

There is a lot you can try. Just remember the definition of insanity....doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results!

[Deviant_Kate]

A friend of mine can ONLY orgasm with a vibrator, even when she's masturbating.

 

It's just a lot harder for some girls to get off than others. I've known girls who NEVER orgasm.

 

I guess if I were you, I'd keep trying new things just in case, but I'd try not to take it personally if the vibrator is the only path to orgasm.

[zeoblade]

but I'd try not to take it personally if the vibrator is the only path to orgasm.

 

How do you go about that?

[treefrogkate]

It sounds like she might be uncomfortable giving you feedback.

 

Perhaps try talking to her outside of the bedroom about it, and telling her something like "It's ok for you to tell me if you want me to speed up, slow down, move positions, etc. I want to please you the best I possibly can, and you know best what feels good."

 

Then again, even with all the feedback in the world, it may just be how she's programmed.

 

Good luck!

[Gus Almighty]

Yeah if a woman uses a vibrator nonstop like a kid addicted to candy then shes not going to climax as easily from your stimulation. Its comfort, kinda like trying to nasturdate with your other hand......takes you forever and you about kill yourself in the process.

 

If its a fairly new relationship she may need some time to get comfortable with you first also, this is not out of the ordinary so dont worry.

 

But you gotta get her to talk, let her know what things and spots work best and keep on it.

 

If all else fails try a cattle prod.