Dara Posted October 18, 2006 Share Posted October 18, 2006 I've noticed a lot of people here say things like "I'm 19-25 and just got married or am engaged". What I wonder is why do you marry so young? Also, How long did you date before getting engaged? It seems for unusual to me because I had a boyfriend for 3 years (age 16-19) and the thought of getting married seemed unreal. Link to comment
rose2summer Posted October 18, 2006 Share Posted October 18, 2006 It depends largely on the person and their life-long goals. I personally am not ready to get married but most of my friends are. I am on a life-long student route though so marriage is too difficult right now. Some might decide that family life is most important at the moment and put career on the backburner temporarily. Neither is right or wrong, both are great choices, and depend largely on the dynamic of the couple in addition to their goals in life. Hugs, Rose Link to comment
Dara Posted October 18, 2006 Author Share Posted October 18, 2006 Yes I totally respect everyone's choices. I just wonder what motivates them to get married. Link to comment
melrich Posted October 18, 2006 Share Posted October 18, 2006 I think it can be a real peer thing. My observations are that the age of marriage is often determined by demographic. Some groups 20 -25 is the norm, others it's 30 - 35. In my experience, what's going on in your "social circle" can have a big impact. Maybe sometimes it also comes down to cultural norms. Link to comment
Caterina Posted October 18, 2006 Share Posted October 18, 2006 I've been scared by society. I don't want to be unconventional because its safer to do what everyone else is doing. Most people marry young. Also, I want to be able to have children. PLus, they say all the good ones are taken up when you are young so I am worried about being stuck with some selfish guy who wanted to be a bachelor for forever or some divorced guy. Link to comment
laboheme Posted October 18, 2006 Share Posted October 18, 2006 I can't speak from experience, of course (I wish!), but it seems like a lot of couples try to get two birds with one stone and combine two major milestones in life -- graduation and marriage. I've heard a lot of engagement stories and I've honestly lost track of the number of times the phrase "Our lives are about to change forever" has come up as the guy's way of popping the question by alluding to graduation. Which is what leads me to think that when they know their life is about to change anyway, they want to milk that change for all it's worth and REALLY make it stand out. Just a theory though. Link to comment
Caterina Posted October 18, 2006 Share Posted October 18, 2006 I can't speak from experience, of course (I wish!), but it seems like a lot of couples try to get two birds with one stone and combine two major milestones in life -- graduation and marriage. I've heard a lot of engagement stories and I've honestly lost track of the number of times the phrase "Our lives are about to change forever" has come up as the guy's way of popping the question by alluding to graduation. Which is what leads me to think that when they know their life is about to change anyway, they want to milk that change for all it's worth and REALLY make it stand out. Just a theory though. Thats an interesting view. Who knows, maybe? Link to comment
shikashika Posted October 18, 2006 Share Posted October 18, 2006 well...hardly any of my friends are married.. most of them range in age from about 27-40. some of them live together... Two of my close friends got married last year at 28. Another one of my friends has been married for 2 years and she is 34. At the rate most ofmy friends are going, they won't be married until well into their 30's... or later. I was seeing a guy when I was 22, and when he thought we woudl get married one day adn I said, "you've thought about this?!?" I knew he wasn't the guy for me.... so many things to do throughout your twenties and thirties.... granted... you could do this with a husband or wife... but most people don't... they buy houses and get mortgages. For me, I want to have interesting stories not just nice furniture.. To each their own... now that I think of it .. I do have one couple-friends who got marries at 24... but they were the youngest by FAR!! Link to comment
New_Horizons Posted October 18, 2006 Share Posted October 18, 2006 I'm 22 and am yet to go on my first date! Meanwhile one of my classmates is already married. It depresses me Link to comment
shikashika Posted October 18, 2006 Share Posted October 18, 2006 I'm 22 and am yet to go on my first date! Meanwhile one of my classmates is already married. It depresses me New Horizons.... don't let it depress you, easy for me a stranger who doesn't know you to say that... but honestly.. I think 22 is waaaay to young to make a life altering decision like that... they say the average age for getting married now is something like 32 adn 34... it definitely is in my circle of friends! at 22, I was looking forward to moving overseas... having new adventures... meeting lots of new people... not getting married! again, to each their own... please don't let it depress you ! Link to comment
kelkel Posted October 18, 2006 Share Posted October 18, 2006 Well i am 22, and i had goals to go to europe, i have a thing for german guys, i wanted to do my masters there, but i met this wonderful guy, he is so perfect and if it works out I WILL MARRY him. I will do this because i know i will never meet another guy with his personality, maybe i will get better looking, not to say he isnt good looking, but i would rather be treated like a queen all my life and be loved than have a guy who looks like a model but makes me miserable (well more than i already am!), it just so happens i met him nOw, and i refuse to allow anyone else to have him, if i want him! Link to comment
Juliana Posted October 18, 2006 Share Posted October 18, 2006 I fell in love at 12 with a boy I could have happily loved my entire life. Top that. How do I know, you ask? Well, with sufficient therapy, and decent medication, I may one day be able to get through a whole day without missing him...but what would be the point of that? It isn't about age, it's about realism, knowing yourself, and knowing the other person. Some people get there young, some people get there later. Yeah, he misses me too. Link to comment
Dako Posted October 18, 2006 Share Posted October 18, 2006 I'm convinced it's strongly influenced by peer pressure and local custom. Link to comment
Alezia Posted October 18, 2006 Share Posted October 18, 2006 they say the average age for getting married now is something like 32 adn 34... it definitely is in my circle of friends!/QUOTE] Wow, where do you live? Where I am it seems most people are marrying in their late 20's (25-29) but I haven't seen that many people in the 30's, although I have seen a few. Link to comment
Caterina Posted October 18, 2006 Share Posted October 18, 2006 I fell in love at 12 with a boy I could have happily loved my entire life. Top that. How do I know, you ask? Well, with sufficient therapy, and decent medication, I may one day be able to get through a whole day without missing him...but what would be the point of that? It isn't about age, it's about realism, knowing yourself, and knowing the other person. Some people get there young, some people get there later. Yeah, he misses me too. Dang girl, you need to hook up with this guy then. Link to comment
justpaisley Posted October 18, 2006 Share Posted October 18, 2006 What I wonder is why do you marry so young? My husband and I were 23 and 20, respectively, when we were married. While not everyone can say this, we were totally ready. I have no regrets getting married that young, and 5 and a half years later with a 4-month-old baby, we're still just as happy as we were when we were first married. The only thing I do regret is not waiting a few months so that our whole family could be there. We got married when it was convenient for us, and didn't completely consider our families. Also, How long did you date before getting engaged? We dated 2 weeks before we decided to get married, it was another 2 weeks before he officially popped the question. We had been very close friends for almost 3 years, attached at the hip. It seems for unusual to me because I had a boyfriend for 3 years (age 16-19) and the thought of getting married seemed unreal. Good thing you didn't get married then! Seriously though, everyone's ready at different times. I see some 20-year-olds - my little sister, for example - who are nowhere near ready for even a long-term relationship, let alone marriage. Shoot, I see some 30-year-olds like that. I was ready at 20, my brother-in-law wasn't ready till he was 37. Being ready and mature enough for marriage is not coupled with any certain age. It's a maturity level. A good pre-marital counselor always helps, too. Link to comment
Dara Posted October 18, 2006 Author Share Posted October 18, 2006 Well i am 22, and i had goals to go to europe, i have a thing for german guys, i wanted to do my masters there, but i met this wonderful guy, he is so perfect and if it works out I WILL MARRY him. I will do this because i know i will never meet another guy with his personality, maybe i will get better looking, not to say he isnt good looking, but i would rather be treated like a queen all my life and be loved than have a guy who looks like a model but makes me miserable (well more than i already am!), it just so happens i met him nOw, and i refuse to allow anyone else to have him, if i want him! When will you know that it works out? Link to comment
kelkel Posted October 19, 2006 Share Posted October 19, 2006 When i fall in love completely, NOT just looks and personality, but i want to marry someone i can laugh with, sit and talk to, have a spiritual relationship with and so on Communication is important to me, i am a talker i cant say when i will know, but so far he is wonderful, however he is a man so i have my shotgun close by kidding!......... he is a gem! i will post a thread when i know if he is the one..... Link to comment
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