JSMITH Posted October 12, 2006 Share Posted October 12, 2006 that's right. No blowjob in my relationship. my girl, who I love, would not give me blowjob. says, "i don't like the taste of cum" who said you have to taste it? just suck me for 5 ~ 10 min. i won't cum. "NO!" she will do it with a condom on it. I refused to have it done with a condom. - what's the point? I am a guy who love a great blowjob better than SEX itself. I am thinking about leaving. Need your feedback, please and thank you. Link to comment
Newo Ikkin Posted October 12, 2006 Share Posted October 12, 2006 "my girl, who I love" "I am thinking about leaving" Contradiction? Love with conditions? Link to comment
Q10 Posted October 12, 2006 Share Posted October 12, 2006 "my girl, who I love" "I am thinking about leaving" Contradiction? Love with conditions? Well, there are/will be conditions in love, always, no matter what. Unless it's your own kid. Sorry to disappoint you if you thought there was something called "unconditioned" love but no. Link to comment
Newo Ikkin Posted October 12, 2006 Share Posted October 12, 2006 Funny enough, I am not disappointed. Link to comment
dogheadma Posted October 12, 2006 Share Posted October 12, 2006 There is no love without conditions, unfortunately, but there is also no love without compromise. The condom is your solution. If it's a deal breaker for you, then so be it. Link to comment
NJRon Posted October 12, 2006 Share Posted October 12, 2006 Well.. love and relationships are neither mutually required nor mutually exclusive. Regardless, if one of your major requirements for a relationship is unprotected oral sex, then i think you should do the right thing and share that with them. Don't force them to do something they don't want to do... emotional blackmail isn't right. But, if that's what you need for a fulfilling and loving relationship... well, then, everyone has their requirements. For myself, that would be pretty low on the totem pole of "things to look for in a girlfriend"... but do what's right for you... jsut don't try and make her do something she doesn't want to do. Link to comment
NJRon Posted October 12, 2006 Share Posted October 12, 2006 There is love without conditions. However, relationships are built upon mutually acceptable conditions... Link to comment
Newo Ikkin Posted October 12, 2006 Share Posted October 12, 2006 Would you sacrifice her over the sake of a condom? (aimed back at poster) Link to comment
Q10 Posted October 12, 2006 Share Posted October 12, 2006 Everyone has different things they like & wait from their partners. IMO love is when you're happy with the other person, and if you're not, I don't think that love's going to last long. And it's different things that make everyone happy. In this case it's a blowjob so I'm thinking maybe talk to her and tell her how much you love getting blowjobs? Link to comment
miserableme Posted October 12, 2006 Share Posted October 12, 2006 If it really bothers you that much then you should get out of the relationship. It doesn't sound like she's going to change her mind and I'd hate to see you cheat on her over a lack of blowjobs. It's not fair on her or you. Find a girl who loves giving head, there are plenty out there. I also have some questions: 1. Do you keep clean? How about suggesting doing it in the shower? 2. Do you go down on her? If you do then she should do the same IMO, if you don't then you need to get down there. Link to comment
JSMITH Posted October 12, 2006 Author Share Posted October 12, 2006 I knew this was going to sound really shallow. Just like many other relationship ours has up and downs. Good and bad. I love her. I love a lot about her. Yes, there are many things in her life I hate, don't approve, or whatever else. I have no intention of changing her. Forcing her to do anything. Blowjob or the lack of it, isn't the ONLY reason I am thinking about leaving her. Of course not, it would be silly. But when 10 other things fail ... a good blowjob is something a guy can look for. ok, that didn't even sound right. Another thing I want to know is ... How common is this? With every single girl I have been with ... blowjob was almost given ... way before sex started. But, this one had to be different. To answer a couple of questions .... Yes, I am a clean guy as much as you are. I LOVE going down on her, but she doesn't want me to. She said .. it turns her off. And I do know for fact it's not MY lack of skills. It's really either she is turned off by ORAL sex (giving and receiving) or she doesn't want to OPEN up with me. Link to comment
Daddy Bear Posted October 12, 2006 Share Posted October 12, 2006 love IS unconditional. it just has to co-exist with wants and needs. personally, i would not insist. a woman's aversion to giving head can be due to some sort of phobia or past trauma. a man's desire for a blowjob is generally not quite that deeply rooted. Link to comment
Newo Ikkin Posted October 12, 2006 Share Posted October 12, 2006 JSMITH, I apologise for assuming that lack of oral was the sole reason for you wanting to leave her. However, we didnt really have much other information. Even still, I am sorry. Link to comment
Bethany Posted October 12, 2006 Share Posted October 12, 2006 She could always give you a handjob while licking and sucking other bits lower down, and hopefully move on upwards when she feels more comfortable. Maybe she is just a little scared about the whole oral thing and doesn't really know what to do? Link to comment
doyathink Posted October 12, 2006 Share Posted October 12, 2006 I find much more meaningful things to focus on in my relationship other than oral...and who is or isn't giving and getting. Link to comment
JSMITH Posted October 12, 2006 Author Share Posted October 12, 2006 nah ... my fault for not giving back ground info. I didn't want to. I wanted to get a straight answer based on blowjob itself. We are human being. It's our nature to want "things" whatever it might be. I have moved down the list. somewhere down the list ... blowjob came in. well, I am not even getting it. She used to give me blowjob with a condom on when we first met. After about a month or so, i stopped her. told her I don't want her to use condom. She said, i won't be getting any without it. I said .. whatever. a few times, when we were making love, she said .. I want to suck on your ****. I said, you can do it whenever you want ... just not with a condom on it. While we were vacationing, in the middle of the sex, I had to change a condom (it was getting too dry, and we didn't have lube) .. as I took off one, she went down on me for 2 min. None the less, the best sex that night. Next morning, we were about to make love. I made it obvious I am waiting for her to go down on me. She paused and keep looking at my ****. It was like .. "should I? shouldn't I? I want to! I don't want to!" for 2 min. I had to skip that part and move on to other things in order not to kill the entire morning sex. I don't know, maybe I am thinking too much into it. I guess I could live without blowjobs, as long as I get sex enough. But, ... maybe some guys can agree with me here ... but it's all about "acceptance" factor. Go read some of guys reaction to girls swallowing/spitting. you get the picture. Link to comment
JSMITH Posted October 12, 2006 Author Share Posted October 12, 2006 She could always give you a handjob while licking and sucking other bits lower down, and hopefully move on upwards when she feels more comfortable. then I wouldn't be here complaining about this, would I? Link to comment
AntiLove_SuperStar Posted October 12, 2006 Share Posted October 12, 2006 I say give her a great gift by leaving. Link to comment
Bethany Posted October 12, 2006 Share Posted October 12, 2006 then I wouldn't be here complaining about this, would I? Then it's not about the taste of cum then, is it? It's become a standoff. Someone has to compromise. Link to comment
agent1607307371 Posted October 12, 2006 Share Posted October 12, 2006 You have to move at the pace of the slowest partner, and you can't force someone past their boundaries. She offered you an alternative and you rejected it. Some people just don't want to and you can't make them. Simple as... Link to comment
Day_Walker Posted October 12, 2006 Share Posted October 12, 2006 If oral sex is that important to you then I believe you should leave. If you dont this will always be an issue for you and will grow into resentment. Link to comment
NJRon Posted October 12, 2006 Share Posted October 12, 2006 It sounds to me like this is *way* down on the list of important things for you. Maybe you should be focusing on the more important things. This is a lot like trying to decide whether you want to be in a relationship because the other person doesn't do dishes. That's not the reason... the reason is either deeper, or that's the last straw. Focus on the things you can work on. If, in the end, those things aren't going to improve, a BJ is unlikely to change the quality of your relationship... Link to comment
amtjrtcet Posted October 12, 2006 Share Posted October 12, 2006 NJRon, you hit it on the HEAD. Link to comment
CamGuy Posted October 12, 2006 Share Posted October 12, 2006 Im always a little surprised when I meet a woman who will not go down on a guy. Link to comment
annie24 Posted October 12, 2006 Share Posted October 12, 2006 me personally? I wouldn't go the rest of my life without oral sex either. no way. unless he let me go out and find it elsewhere, why should I be denied on of life's great pleasures? if you feel it's a dealbreaker, then break it off. if your partner isn't going to be GGG (good giving and game, by Dan Savage's definition), then I would walk. but.... that's just me. we all have our dealbreakers. Link to comment
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