kelkel Posted October 10, 2006 Share Posted October 10, 2006 How would you describe making love versus great sex? making love equals great sex(i would also liek to point out making love doesnt always include sex.....its deep!).....just because u get so much more........ the person gives themself to you on levels in ways i personal cannot define, and u can feel it in ur bones and your very being and even if u dont....... just being with that person, that makes ur heart skip that beat to pay homage to them, will be enough to consider the mere event great.!! but great sex doesnt equal making love..... for it is you who define the greatness, when that raw thirst for sexual gratification is quenched. Link to comment
duncan33 Posted October 10, 2006 Share Posted October 10, 2006 I haven't had sex with my bf in two months and it is killing me...I have stopped trying because it hurts so bad...now that I read these replies maybe I am focusing on us not having sex too much...but he has so many friends that are girls...what makes me different if we aren't intimate? Link to comment
ramsickle1369 Posted October 10, 2006 Share Posted October 10, 2006 I haven't had sex with my bf in two months and it is killing me...I have stopped trying because it hurts so bad...now that I read these replies maybe I am focusing on us not having sex too much...but he has so many friends that are girls...what makes me different if we aren't intimate? Only you can determine if the intimacy that is derived from that sexual experience is worth waiting for. No one hear can decide for you the value you place on the experience. for me, the actual experiences were too infrequent and when they did happen, they weren’t exactly enough to sustain the wait. No one here should attempt to impose an absolute view. To each person it means different things. I wonder if those that don’t feel it’s important truly experience to closeness that follows making love—or the unity that comes from the act itself. I completely understand the hurt of trying and not getting. There’s a type of rejection that comes from trying and not succeeding. It boils down to feeling wanted, desirable. We are conditioned that men ALWAYS want sex, and when a time comes that they say “no” we women take it VERY personally. Maybe it’s because men always have the desire and do not hold the upper hand when it comes to sex – women are usually the one’s that say no. Whatever the cause is, it hurts like hell to be deemed undesirable, especially when other men say that you are… Link to comment
ramsickle1369 Posted October 25, 2008 Share Posted October 25, 2008 I totally do not agree with that. I have been with my bf only 5 months and we have never had sex. I barely ever think of having sex with him, he probably thinks about it but he will never pressure me to do that. This is just my opinion but sex is probably closer to the 'unimportant' than to 'important' on the scale. Just don't think you need to have sex with someone to get to know them better or feel connected to them. You are young. Your sex drive has not kicked in fully. Sex is the ONLY part of a relationship that makes it a "relationship". All the rest is friendship, companionship, intimacy, etc. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted October 25, 2008 Share Posted October 25, 2008 You are young. Your sex drive has not kicked in fully. Sex is the ONLY part of a relationship that makes it a "relationship". All the rest is friendship, companionship, intimacy, etc. I don't agree with this in the least. For example, my parents were engaged for 4 years and waited for marriage to have sex. They certainly had a "real" relationship while they were dating, while they were engaged, etc. People can have romantic relationships without having sex and having sex doesn't make it a relationship, in any event. Link to comment
ramsickle1369 Posted October 25, 2008 Share Posted October 25, 2008 I don't agree with this in the least. For example, my parents were engaged for 4 years and waited for marriage to have sex. They certainly had a "real" relationship while they were dating, while they were engaged, etc. People can have romantic relationships without having sex and having sex doesn't make it a relationship, in any event. Well, my personal experience was a wonderful marriage without ANY affection. It nearly killed me. Any relationship w/o affection is simply friendship. I guess in my book, sex is a LOT more than the act of intercourse. There's so much more to have in sex than that and the intimacy cannot exist without that connection. I'm sure your parents had other forms of physical activity (sorry--weird to ever talk about parents and sex!) that perhaps wasn't the actual act, but perhaps much of anything but. Link to comment
jamiec3 Posted October 25, 2008 Share Posted October 25, 2008 i believe it's about 80 percent of the relationship. the better the sex is the better the relationship. I think its a huge part of a relationship. Link to comment
dragonzeyez Posted October 25, 2008 Share Posted October 25, 2008 I think it simply depends on the two people. For some, sex does not make the relationship. For others like myself, if there is no sex then there is no relationship. Link to comment
ramsickle1369 Posted October 25, 2008 Share Posted October 25, 2008 I think it simply depends on the two people. For some, sex does not make the relationship. For others like myself, if there is no sex then there is no relationship. to each his/her own. Link to comment
kuiks8 Posted October 25, 2008 Share Posted October 25, 2008 for me sex is very important..it bonds me closer to the person and heck i am a horny girl so i need it...simple as that Link to comment
jamiec3 Posted October 25, 2008 Share Posted October 25, 2008 I think it simply depends on the two people. For some, sex does not make the relationship. For others like myself, if there is no sex then there is no relationship. amen on that one Link to comment
jamiec3 Posted October 25, 2008 Share Posted October 25, 2008 for me sex is very important..it bonds me closer to the person and heck i am a horny girl so i need it...simple as that My guys sex drive is low, while mine is high. I know not a good combo Link to comment
amyamy Posted October 25, 2008 Share Posted October 25, 2008 Count me on the no sex - no relationship list. To each there own for sure but for me, I could not live that way. Link to comment
ramsickle1369 Posted October 25, 2008 Share Posted October 25, 2008 for me sex is very important..it bonds me closer to the person and heck i am a horny girl so i need it...simple as that Me too.... LOVE LOVE LOVE it! And I'm apparently at my sexual peak--NOT a good time to be single... My guys sex drive is low, while mine is high. I know not a good combo Oh no! That was the cause of the end of my marriage. I waited and tried for 10 years and couldn't take anymore... Glad I've gotten out. Link to comment
jamiec3 Posted October 25, 2008 Share Posted October 25, 2008 Me too.... LOVE LOVE LOVE it! And I'm apparently at my sexual peak--NOT a good time to be single... Oh no! That was the cause of the end of my marriage. I waited and tried for 10 years and couldn't take anymore... Glad I've gotten out. Im starting to worry about it. My last 2 relationships the sex was great. But with my guy now who I live with he is ok with 2times a week, at first he wanted it a lot but now everything is different. We got other problems along with that one and it is starting to pull us apart. Link to comment
Tethys Posted October 25, 2008 Share Posted October 25, 2008 I agree yet disagree with Batya and ramsickle. First, yes, what distinguishes a really intense but platonic friendship between a man and a woman (or whatever is your sexual preference is) is sex. So, I see what your point is ramsickle. On the other side of it is that a good relationship is founded on MUCH more than sex. In fact, a relationship can thrive and blossom without sex. (I would argue, however, that sex is present in the lust and infatuation that accompanies romantic interest.) I think Batya is trying to say something like that. I can say that, once in a relationship, sex is important. Its intimacy is beyond friendship, and if it goes missing from a relationship, you will definitely feel it and know something is missing. Okay, I will stop... discuss! Link to comment
Batya33 Posted October 25, 2008 Share Posted October 25, 2008 I interpreted that post as meaning a relationship cannot be real if there is no intercourse. Link to comment
melrich Posted October 25, 2008 Share Posted October 25, 2008 Interesting this post is revived after 2 years. I heard a woman (who was some sort of expert in the field) interviewed on the radio a few months ago about divorce. When she was asked the top five reasons people get divorce she said, "Sex, sex, sex, money and money" in that order. I thought it was very clever and it stuck with me. Link to comment
ramsickle1369 Posted October 25, 2008 Share Posted October 25, 2008 On the other side of it is that a good relationship is founded on MUCH more than sex. In fact, a relationship can thrive and blossom without sex. (I would argue, however, that sex is present in the lust and infatuation that accompanies romantic interest.) I think Batya is trying to say something like that. Sex is never the ONLY factor, but it is a very important one. Without ANY sex or any affection (the multitude of facets that takes on) it IS plutonic and may be a great relationship--just not a romantic one--like that with your best friend. IMO--a real relationship--a one with romantic feelings MUST include sex or it's not a "lover" relationship. I am in love with my best friend, but I don't want to have sex with her. The same was true with my XH. The sex is NOT an option anymore... But I still have strong feelings for him and love him. Interesting this post is revived after 2 years. "Sex, sex, sex, money and money" in that order. I thought it was very clever and it stuck with me. I know... I was looking at old posts and this one STILL remains true. W/o good sex, everything else will fall apart. It's the glue that will hold you together when the $hit hits the fan. Link to comment
Rose21 Posted October 25, 2008 Share Posted October 25, 2008 Sex makes up about 40, or 50% of the relationship to me and my boyfriend. Even less for him lol. Link to comment
lumu Posted October 25, 2008 Share Posted October 25, 2008 Question about sex and I think its about 80% of a good relationship but the other 20 better be mutual love and understanding for the other person. Question. Is a girl liking sex with you a bad thing in a relationship long term? Does a girl who enjoys sex and especially sex with you make you not want a long term committment with her? Link to comment
ramsickle1369 Posted October 25, 2008 Share Posted October 25, 2008 Question. Is a girl liking sex with you a bad thing in a relationship long term? Does a girl who enjoys sex and especially sex with you make you not want a long term committment with her? Interesting question.... I'd love to know a guy's response. B/c I am always hearing how guys want a sexual person, but then when they get it they freak out anyway. We can't win. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted October 25, 2008 Share Posted October 25, 2008 I think sexual desire and chemistry are essential, as is affection and physical intimacy - when it's the appropriate time to be intimate. I would find it insulting -- and silly -- if someone told me that before my SO and I had intercourse, we were not in a "real" relationship. I also don't agree that all lovers are in a romantic relationship - it might be just a sexual relationship. Link to comment
Rose21 Posted October 25, 2008 Share Posted October 25, 2008 I couldn't have the sex without the love. But then It wouldn't be a great romantic relationship without the sex! So it's 50/50 for me. Sex is half and romance and love is half. Link to comment
TrinaF Posted October 25, 2008 Share Posted October 25, 2008 i think your right Ram, men say they want a sexually active girl and then when they find one of us they get all worked up LOL and yep we cant win!! Link to comment
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